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wut to do...
what do you do when you're with a guy that you liked for a long time and were so much fun together but when you started going out everything went down hill. nowadays after only 4ish months there's just as many bad times as good, if not more. when we're good, we're great. but when we're bad, it sucks arse. like ridiculous. what do you think, does the good cancel out for the bad?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It depends how good the goods are and how bad the bads are. Write down all the issues and rate them on a scale from 1-10 depending on how important they are . Add up the good ones and then add up the bad ones. If the good ones are higher then there's ur answer. =]]]]]]],]
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Only you can decide if the good outweighs the bad, but remember this, anything worth having is worth fighting for.
Every relationship has it's problems, because they involve two people! That means two opinons, that are usually very different.
Ask yourself one question, would you want it to be perfect? Would you want someone who never sparked passion in you. Someone who never made you want to fight for something. Someone who never cared enough to want you to fight for them.
It's my experience that people usely disagree as a way to get to know each, to find each other. More importantly to keep things interesting.
Think of it this way, you fight with your family right? So would you trade them in just because you don't always get along?
Remember to be thankful for the rainy days, they're what make the sunny one's so sweet.
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Burt Bacharach and Hal David asked a very similar question back in 1969 when they wrote "I'll Never Fall In Love Again". Seems that was their answer for your question, it's a simple answer, maybe you should go with simple.
Simple, we all want simple, it's easy, but are questions of the heart simple? Are you simple? Being a child is simple, you love everyone and let the chips fall where they will, but sooner or later, people start to hurt you. Some do it for reasons, some just don't think before they engage their mouth, but some do it because they don't agree with you, and so on. They don't want to except who you are, or are becoming. They can't except you for you and they want to change you.
Young love is all about that, people think that "I can make my dream girl, or my dream guy", but that's not the way it works. You find your dream guy or girl, you don't build them. Odds are that is what is behind your fighting, that is what you need to get to, what is your motivation behind the way you act with another person. Are you trying to manipulate someone, or are you trying to be with them, not a carbon copy of yourself. Being with them means you walk beside them, not behind them pushing.
Arguing and fighting are a part of life, why you are arguing and fighting is the question, not the ones you ask. Know the right questions to ask, learn the right question to ask. You will stay confused as long as you keep asking questions that are but symptoms of the real question.
I'm not going to answer your question for you, these are things you must find out for yourself.
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I've been there and I've done that. First determine what has happened to cause the change and if whatever has happened can be changed. Arguing isn't good. Fighting isn't fun either. It happens and it's normal. Sometimes, things like $,life, mood swings, happen which cause shift in relationship communications.
Try getting in a different environment (a park, dinner, a nice walk,) and talk. Find out if there is something going on that you two can work on or is it unhappiness that can't change without changing the relationship in whole. It all depends on what the reason(s) for distance and bad times. Good does not cancel out bad & bad does not cancel out good. Try not to weigh that measurement on those aspects instead look at this: Am I happy? Is he happy? Are we happy as individuals, next are we happier together or separated? Do we trust each other? Are we respectful to each other? Do we have the same things in common? Does he bore me? Am I not attractd to him anymore? Does he act like he's not attracted to me anymore or interested in me anymore? Weigh those things - next discuss those things and then you both will KNOW what's next based on your final conclusions.
Good Luck & be happy!!!
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Well, no relationship is all roses and posies all the time, as I'm sure you know.
I really can't tell you if the good cancels the bad, because that's something you need to figure out for yourself.
Meaning- Is being in this relationship worth working through the bad times? Is there some way you both can work it out so there are fewer bad times?
ygs-30/f
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Tell him that you don't want to ruin the bond you have as friends but that the relationship isn't working for either of you. Ask to go back to being friends who are really close.
Maybe you should even stick to a friends with benefits idea and keep things tight between you but not in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Let him know that fighting etc. and whatever is causing things to be bad led you to this decision because you couldn't stand to lose him period.
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