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am i jealous?
so in a nutshell, my first love and i dated for a year and a half and were completely INSEPERABLE, and had zero problems 99% of the time. b/c of certain reasons, we ended up having a very hard breakup 6 months ago. about 4 months ago, this guy who i'd been [mutually] crushing on and i started dating. the ex and i half way kept in touch via myspace and occasionally phone. the other day we crossed paths and talked for a minute, and you can tell there still are some feelings there. all the while, he has told me & made it very obvious that he loves me more than anything, and isn't over me and wants me back, and a part of me will always love him since he was my first love. saturday he had a graduation party, and now this girl who i guess he met there is his number two on myspace, and he is on hers as well. and they have comments back and forth and he's left pic comments telling her she's beautiful and the whole shebang. the point is, i think they could like each other and quite frankly i HATE it. i know im with my boyfriend, but i feel as if we ever broke up, my ex and i could have another chance, and before i KNOW he would want that, but i dont want him to forget about me over another girl. i want to know that he's there for me. and he's the type that WILL get really wrapped up in someone else. i dont even know what im asking. i just dont know what to do? how to cope? should i say anything to him? of course i want him to be happy, but i hate that i could end up being replaced, even as a friend. i guess im just used to being that special girl in his life, =/. whats a girl to do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Venom gave a very good answer
and I don't have a lot to add
to that. :)
I just want to say that you will
always have special feelings for
your first love. Don't mistake
those feelings for BEING in love.
He will replace you as you have him.
Seeing it happen can be a little
unsettling is all.
You say you halfway kept in touch
until recently. You will probably
continue to do the same. Friends
usually remain friends even though
the go on with their lives. Do your
current guy a favor and concentrate
on him. I'm sure he thinks you are
special too. :)
]
Selfish, selfish, selfish.. I understand completely. I went through the same thing. Yes, it's jealousy. It's also mental. Humans are territorial, just like as an animal. The worst feeling is the I don't want you anymore and it's time for me to move on, but I don't want anyone to have you either. Catch it now, because it can turn into obsession or possession.
There are obviously still feelings between the both of you. I am sure he still loves you, just as you still love him. Now, answer this, was the break-up really worth it? I talk all the time about this 17 year relationship I was in. Well, we are back together AGAIN, because when we divorced it wasn't worth it. I hated seeing him with anyone and he hated seeing me with anyone.
My suggestion is that you first soul search and ask yourself some questions. Do you still love him? Are you in love with him? (there is a difference in the two). Do you want to be with him or only friends. Once you have faced yourself in the mirror, speak to him to find out his feelings and to find out what page he is on. It is also obvious that you two broke up WITHOUT closure. Once you two have talked and determined if you are getting back together or just staying friends, you will know what to do. If you're staying friends, then you have to let him go. The part about "being replaced" - that's what a break-up means. It means that you are over and free to move on- both of you, not just you.
Also, question yourself in reference to moving on to another too fast. Being that there was no closure with him, there was also no closure with yourself because you are now questioning your decision. I don't think a person should get involved in another relationship until they have had proper closure from the previous one.I learned that the hard way. I hurt someone else because I moved on too fast without closure and I ended up getting back with my x-husband, of whom I had been with since I was 16. I am now 34.
Good Luck, sweetie and do what makes both of you happy - but make sure it's what you want.
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