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ok, im doing an argumentative [pro vs. con] paper for my AP class, and my topic is plastic surgery and basically the effects/should it be used to cosmetic reasons or just for medical disability? i'm pretty unclear on where i myself stand on the issue and i'd just like some more opinions.. do you think it should be an option for those who just want to "look better", or no, and why ?

I believe it's all on how the person wants to be viewed. I go with the notion that if they are trying to look better, they must be lacking when it comes to personality and need to attract people with their appearance because they have nothing else to offer.

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does anyone have a quote or know a song for a best friend who youre fighting with and it looks like youre not gonna be friends anymore?

Low-Kelly Clarkson

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well i have finally come to terms that im a pessimist, and i hate it. but i really can not help it.

1)i REALLY dislike where i live and everyone who lives in it. even my friends. theyre definately the best here for me, but im usually unhappy when i am with themm.
2)i either bring everyone else down or bottle my problems up and become really moody. i am a moody person in general i guess. every little thing bothers me.
3)i have some things from my past that i cant let go of. i dont know how.

so i guess my question is :

with all of these problems that i can not avoid or change, how do i become a happier person? i am trying really hard to let go of my problems from my past. i am trying really hard to enjoy when im with my friends. i tried asking my parents to move. nothings working. what can i do? i just want to live happily.

welll id really like for this to be answered by:
someone who understands where im coming from.
someone who has had this problem and has been able to change.
someone who knows you cant always change yourself to make your life better.
someone who is realistic.




stories, tips, advice would be great. thanks


PS. sorry for the length

16/F
During many points in my life, I have totally dreaded going to school and seeing people who I disliked, which was basically the whole student population...It took me a while to realize that I can't change others as much as I can change my outlook. Once I had a brighter perspective on things, I realized that yea...some people are annoying, but they mean well.

The only way to rid yourself of negative thoughts is to stop giving them a voice. The less you speak of them, the less you'll think them.

You don't have to let go of your past, but you should locate some positivity. Think about how the event could teach you something vital.

Just stay true to yourself and tell yourself that you deserve to be happy. Don't limit yourself!

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okay, so this one night me and my friends were driving around and we were talking about how supposedly the end of the world is coming in teh next 10 yesrs. well i am very caring and a scared persona nd when i get so scared about something i freak out! how can i forget about this 'end of the world' stuff forgot so i wont ever remember it and i can live my life like i use dto all free caring having fun but enjoying life?

Remember how some were convinced that the world was coming to an end on 06-06-06?

Well amazingly: we are still here!

Who's to say what will happen so far off...?

If the future were already known, why aren't things like car crashes, hurricanes and those of the sort prevented...?

Honestly, things like that can not be predicted, so don't allow anyone to worry you about the matter.

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15 / f

i have known this girl since elementary school, and we have been "best friends" (i've had other best friends in between until i realized it's pointless to have just ONE best friend).

i've never really had many classes with her throughout middle school, but this year, my freshman year of high school, she's in virtually all my classes.

now at first, we were both elated! we finally got to see each other more often.

but that soon turned around. by december, i knew that i was ready to burst. it hit me. she was absolutely perfect. but the ONE little tiny thing that just made me scream and caused nights of crying myself to sleep was the fact that: every. single. grade. in every. single. one of our mutual classes. she ALWAYS gets the same or (more often) BETTER grade than me on EVERYTHING. homework, tests, quizzes, projects, you name it. and it made me want to vomit. i tried SO HARD. i even bought a new desk to get myself motivated enough to do my homework and really really study.

no one has any idea i feel this way about her. i hate her more than anyone on the face of the planet, pretending to be her best friend. everytime i look at her i just want to slap her. that's all. just give her one hard slap and give her brain cells a little ride so she'll stop getting less than 110% on EVERYTHING.

and what makes it worse? besides the fact that she's always trying to ask me what's wrong and comfort me when she's the problem, after several tests we've taken, she's CONVINCED. like ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CONVINCED. that she failed. and like usually i HATE being like, "oh that wasn't so bad" cause i don't get a 100. but she was CONVINCED. we both get our tests back the day after, and she got an A and i got a B. and i was BEYOND irate.

i'm naturally an extremely jealous person, but she is in 203849023 clubs and she's always saying how she never has anytime to do anything yet she finds the time to do better than ME and i barely do one club.

someone has to help me. i'm seriously losing it. i try so HARD on everything and she reads a packet once and gets a 100 and i read it 20 times, highlight, and outline and get a 95. she's ALWAYS better than me. and i severely need advice on how the hell do deal with this situation. and it's not like i can just go upto her and be like, "dude, i hate you. you're too perfect." and i've TRIED studying WITH her but it makes me want to puke being near her. i tried, i tried. it does no good. i try to get away from her as much as possible and not talk to her but it's hard. it's not that she's a really nosy person, she actually cares about me. it's not that she's a bad person either, i just want to look at my report card and be proud. and i can't. i want to cry.

in conclusion, help me stop being so jealous of this girl's grades and / or life to the point of violent thoughts taking over my brain.

Why should she stop being outstanding?
Is it so you could be the one on top and everyone can envy you?

You say that you dislike the position she's in when it really sounds that you want to replace her. If you're going to be mad at anyone, leave her out of it. Very few people could be as good a friend as she is and you should embrace your friendship with her. She should be an inspiration to you. Do not allow yourself to get discouraged because your relationship with her should not be a competition. After all, no matter what: there's always going to be someone better than us at something...why not try our bests and be content with the notion?

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i need some good books to tide me over this spring break. what are you guys currently reading? i like almost everything.

The Color of Water is one of the most extraordinary books a person could read!

I'm not going to give away the details because it's worth finding out for yourself, but please give this one a try.

Plus, it is a true story.

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So, in my family, mainly everyone is Catholic.

I feel like an outsider because I just recently had an epiphany that the Christian faith, and religion in general, just isn't for me...

Well, I told my family that I still believed in God, but I didn't believe in religion because I believed in simplicity and don't really like fundamentalism.

I don't like how priests, popes, bishops, .etc speak for God. It just doesn't seem right. I also don't like it when we all come home from Church and my parents are talking about what the priest said during the homily, or something like that, but they never ever say what God said at Church.

I just feel really tied down and confused right now.

I told them about this and they totally flipped out. They gave me the whole, "While you live under this roof, you'll believe what we believe" lecture.


What should I do? I feel as though I should be given at least a little portion of freedom.

I'm just so confused right now.

No one can deny your beliefs. Just as, you should not doubt those of your parents. You've said how you feel and you should not say anything more about what is wrong with their religion of choice. However, you can let them know that you will be respectful of their beliefs. They need to understand that they can not invest a belief in you if you have ones of your own.

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how can i be a happy person if:

i hate where i live
i dislike every person who lives here
i am a moody person and get annoyed very easily
i go on and off with friends, like ill not like them, except one of them, for a week, then get annoyed with that person, and switch off (etc.)
sometimes i dont like any of them
after broke up with my bf almost 3 months ago, i forgot how to be happy, even though im over him now
i couldnt change friends even if i wanted to. the transition wouldnt be worth it.




please teach me how to be happy. i cant make myself have a better outlook on life. it just doesnt work. ill have happy times, but it doesnt last for long.what do i do with myself? i liked it better before i faced the reality of life. last year i was oblivious now after my 5 month relationship, i cant find that same high spirited person i used to be. where did that person go? how can i be that person again? how do i stop my moodiness? i cant help it.


thanks;;
xhopeless

Well, here is a really fantastic site that will brighten your outlook:
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/

Choose a "practice" to the right.

As for your friends; you could do without them. Your relationship with them is unstable and that could be hard to handle. Even if it means being a loner for a few days, distance yourself from them. You need to figure out who you've been and how to arrive at such a point. Doing so, is easier once you have some moments to yourself.

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i have a problem when i sing karaoke i do so bad like im off key and stuff
but when i sing acapella or with the singer im good.
anything i can do to fix this?

Whoa, I can relate! One thing I plan on doing is buying the game SingStar.
It works with Playstation 2 and scores you on how well you hit the notes. It also shows you the note intervals and how big a jump or fall from one note to the other. Try researching it.

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What's the word that means getting very into character, or becoming the character. This is mainly for actors.

characterize?
that's the only word I can think of that sums up your definition.

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i think im confidant n have quite high self estem bt im not sur so i want 2 know wat u guys think is confident+high self estem.

thnks xxx

In my opinion,
confidence is convincing others that you care for yourself.
&
high self esteem is convincing your own self that you are cared for.

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im a freshman at my highschool and im new, i didnt move or anything ive always lived here, i just used to go to a different school. in the begining of school i thought i would make tons of friends since im a nice person you know. and i started off not talking in any of my classes. I hate to say this, but its still that way. and its half way through the year already. today at school someone told me people think im weird because i hardly talk in class..but the truth is im just a very quiet, shy person if u dont take the time to know me personally. once Im comfortbale, i never stop talking actually. And i hate how quiet i am in classes..i hate how people think im weird because of it..im sorry that im shy but thats just me, until you get to know me. it really upsets me to know that..i cried for the rest of the day after someone told me people think that about me..i dont want that reputation. I just wish others would take the time and get to know me. I wish people could see what a fun person I can be. Im also very upset about this because now im starting to get the idea people dont want to talk to me because they think im weird because im quiet. and it just pisses me off because its like you know what. if you think im quiet then why dont you just talk to me and find out if i actually AM quiet. because you know what, im not. im a very loud hyper person. and it really makes me mad at the same time. I hate this school. I want to go to a different one. And yeah i have friends, but not in my classes. and i dont have as many as id like. please help me, how can i become more talkative? i never EVER know how to start a good conversation. and its like how do i do that when no one wants to actually talk to me. I feel like im becoming depressed about this because its been happening for a while and I hope I become a little happier soon. Im really not liking my life right now.

thanks

I've been in your position: thankfully I did not stay in this position...trust me, it's something you can leave behind. It is up to you to be an outgoing member of society because if you're waiting around for someone to save you, there's no telling how long the wait is. Be your own hero and inspire others. Compliment people by being observant of the color of their nail polish or even the way they parted their hair that morning. Get involved in your school and let loose. How could doing so make things any worse?
=]

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Hey, I have this friend, a girl. She desperately needs to cry, but she is emotionless and cold. How can I bring her to tears or otherwise help her turn on the waterworks.

Show her this video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fOYF0bVYa1Y

It's about a girl who lost her dad due to 9/11 and it's beyond beautiful.

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breakupp a month ago. he broke up with me. i liked him too much. lost any self confidence i had. HATE where i live. friends suck. some are moving next year. dont have an endless supply of friends so having friends leave is bad, even though they get really annoying. grades going down. family is annoying. cant think. help?!


thanks.

WHOA. been there...
it seems that you need to do something for yourself.
keep your eyes peeled for job openings.
having a job will be such a fufilling experience.
study HARDER. focus on yourself and how to get your life together, so that you can at some point begin to reach out to others.

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So this school...RHS (Randolph High School) in NJ is the ONLY school in the STATE that is open on MLK! The thing is...like SOOOOO many kids arent going...and my parents think i need to go! But i will LITERALLY be the only one in some of my classes...just sitting with my teacher listening to them talk about him ALL day EVERY period...no joke, we have to be taught about him for the WHOLE day. Supposedly there are going to be lots of news reporters and people going to take a stand...i dont know what to do! Please help

I understand why you would not want to go to school, yet there are so many more reasons why you SHOULD show up.

Is it really torture to learn about such an influential person? After all MLK Jr. has done for us I think we owe him a day in his honor...
not just a day off of school.

Basically, you should go to school; it would show character if you're one of the few who actually have the heart to be there.

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Hi!
I have a really good voice. Everyone says so. Even a girl at school complemented me when she heard me. The only problem is that I can't stand audiences. I tried out for church choir and I threw up on the pianist. I was so embarrassed!!! I want to try out for my school musical. I want the lead, but I am afraid because I don't think the audience will really like breakfast on their shirts.
What do I do?
From,
Afraid2Sing

It helps to characterize.
This way...when you're fully expressing the character in which you are playing it's really hard to be frightful because basically:
you're not yourself anyways.
Just focus on what you're doing and how you can convince the director that you deserve the role you're going for.

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I recently found out that my baby is going to be a girl. I was just wondering what everyone thought of naming her Gracie Mae. Please be honest!

I think if you removed the "i" and just make her name Grace, that would work out better.
The name you have chosen sounds adorable, but once she grows up she'll need something more mature. I'd suggest changing the middle name also if you're willing to adjust her name to "Grace."
Good luck!

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13/f

my boyfriend has been talking about having sex in the summer, but....thats a BIG step, and i dont know if i should or not. ive been trying to figure out what the worse that can happen is...and if we use a condom...i dont think i could get pregnant.

Everyone has it in their mind that they "won't be the ones to get pregnant", yet we all know that's not the truth. So many people do end up getting pregnant and a good share of those pregnancies were not planned.
Having sex should be a mutual agreement.
Your boyfriend only represents half the relationship and therefore, it is not just his role to decide to have sex.
Also, you are much too young to even do so with him.
You are going to be consumed by regrets if you give in, so honestly...
If he's worth your while, he will respect your choice to hold off on sex.

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i posted a bulletin about my friends a while ago about how theyre never there for me. well yesterday that got put to the test because my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. he was my first kiss. first boyfriend (that was over a week long). etc. i cried all yesterday. i cried todayy. my friends had the nerve to talk about me behind my back to each other about how i have to get over it and its just a boy and how its annoying that i talk about him. its been one day. im questioning if theyre really my friends. i dont want to switch friend groups. if you were me, you would know how stuck i am in this group. please dont question that. well my question is how do i deal with a broken heart without the support of my "best friends"? i mean, i dont even know how to deal with it with best friends! this makes everything worse. please help meeee



thanks;;
hopelessss

Evaluate the situation; decide whether you have done your share to make the relationship fair; if you've done all you could do...then you need to realize that he may have not been ready for such commitment or something along those lines. Regardless of the reasoning; it's not your fault! Don't get down on yourself. And as for your friends: I do not agree with their actions. You're in need of some comforting and they aren't willing to provide you with that. It is a friend's duty to be supportive and offer guidance.These friends do you no justice. Hence, be on the lookout for the GENUINE kind.
Good luck and keep that chin up!

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15/f

I can barely sleep at night! I go to bed at 8:00 PM hoping to wake up at 5:30 or 6:30 AM so I can get a head start on things but I can't seem to go to bed. I twist and turn like crazy but my bed is really comfortable [its not new and I've slept well in it until 3 months ago] and I think that there is nothing that is subconsciously bothering me. This has has such a pivotal effect on me. I ended up sleeping in class. Before vacation I received 3 detentions for this problem. My mom has resorted to having me go to bed at 7:30. Even then I still don't sleep until about 11:00. I am not aloud to get up and turn on lights or relaxing music because my parents need to go to bed. [they wake up really early]I don't understand what I can do!

How can I sleep earlier and better?

Whoa, I've arranged the same sleep schedule for myself! I'll give you two major tips that allow me to sleep through the night.

1.be active all day long. you need to physically tire yourself out. consider walking twice around the block at a minimum.

2.another thing that used to keep me up was not feeling satisfied with how the day went, so I'd stay up hoping for some fulfillment. at the end of the day, don't leave yourself regretting what was done...do everything to the best of your ability, so you can sleep with a smile on your face.

I hope you'll give these a try!

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