I am a wife and a mother of three grown sons. I live in New York and am an equestrian. Most of my free time is spent riding and caring for my horses now that my sons are out of the house.
I give down to earth advice, as I tell it like I see it...and I've seen alot.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Member Since: January 17, 2009
Answers: 281
Last Update: September 11, 2011
Visitors: 18879
|
| |
Okay, so, I'm 21 f. I'm a voice teacher. I was born Jewish, but my beliefs have melded into Agnosticism with a touch of Hindu over the years. One of my best students keeps gravitating towards all these "god-songs" (Think David Archuletta, Angels) as I call them, things that talk about believing in "the father" or "my Jesus," and it's really, REALLY getting on my nerves. This student is 23, by the way, so he's not a little kid. His parents are major Catholics (and they hate me).
I suppose I might also include that this guy is my ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend. So I can't just drop him as a student. Besides, he's fantastic. He has nearly a four octave range full voice, and I enjoy listening to him sing. (Which actually says quite a bit, because I'm one of the harshest critics out there. I'm hard pressed to find any singers I actually enjoy listening to. I can always find something completely off-putting about their singing or their song choice.)
Anyway, my issue is this:
He wants to work on religious songs, and I feel like I can't condone it because I don't believe in "god", I don't feel comfortable with the term, and I just...I don't know. Those songs bother me quite a bit.
On the other hand, I feel I'm being a bit hypocritical because - and I hate to admit this - I sing for a church choir. BUT, I'm getting paid big bucks to do it, and the director has some crazy connections in the music world.
I'm not the most religious girl (obviously) but the one firm issue I have with the three big ones (Christianity, Muslim, and Judaism) are that they believe in this "Almighty God," and I just HATE it for some reason.
I'm not even sure why, but the idea of one of my students/friends singing something like that upsets me.
Anyone have any insight or suggestions? (link)
|
A Christian might say you are under demonic influence. According to the Bible, Satan hates to hear his adversaries name and everything He stands for. He can't bare to be in His presense.
I know someone VERY close to me who had this same situation to the max. She actually got exceedingly loud and aggressive whenever anyone started talking about God or Christian beliefs, sometimes to the point of storming quickly out of the room.
This probably won't have much meaning to you since you "don't believe in God". Anyway, you are an atheist, not an agnostic, if you don't believe in God.
Your Jewish heritage is the cream of the crop.
|
14/F.
me and my friends all did the ouijea board together. i kind of didnt trust the owner of the board cause i thought she pushed it . because everytime she'd ask something everything would always come out good & it lied a couple of times when we asked about future events. But i decided to push it just to test if anything bad would happen and then after we kept feeling cold spots all over the room. was it bad that i pushed it ? (link)
| |
Don't dabble in the occult. It's very dangerous. Try going to church. It's safer.
|
|
I have always wondered exactly what religious/spiritual catagory I fall into. I believe in a higher being but I do not believe in organized religion. Where would I fall? (link)
|
I will simply say...
Religion is what man says about God.
Revelation is what God says about Himself.
|
|
Ok, every month after my periods i have a head ache which lasts for 3 days. It is followed by slight fever. Any ideas why this happens? (link)
| |
Headaches are common before, during or after your period, but fevers aren't. A fever is indicative of an infection. Speak to your doctor.
|
|
i do know who to explain the way i feel towards him (link)
| |
Don't. Let him express his feelings toward you, first, lest you appear too eager. If he never tells you he loves you, then you might assume he doesn't, in which case, it won't matter a hill of beans if you tell him you love him, will it?
|
|
i have never spoken to my father in my life.im almost twenty years old and i live in a third-world country that im am desperately tying to leave.i need my father to sign my birth certificate so that i can legally stay in ireland.he refuses to do so even though he says he will.i am very tired of waiting.what should i do ? (link)
|
Has your father paid to support you? If not, that is probably why he won't sign. He doesn't want to be legally responsible for you and perhaps end up being responsible for backed child support. You don't say where he lives. Does he live in Ireland? If he does, then he may fear having to sponsor you when you get to Ireland.
I'm not sure how the law works in Ireland or your country (don't know where you're from), but this situation calls for a lawyer. My guess is he is avoiding his responsibilities.
|
|
Two of my best friends hate each other's guts for reasons that are completely stupid, but I of course, am stuck in the middle. They were good friends at one point a while back but things just changed, and now they really can't stand each other. We use to be a really tight knit group of four, the 'fab four' as you may call it, but now it's down to three, and we've recently taken in a 'replacement' for the missing spot. So now two out of the four of us hate the girl that use to be in our group, but the other two can bare with her. It's just annoying that I have to put up with their trash talk, because in reality, she never did anything wrong. I feel like I can't keep tolerating them talking rudely behind her back, because she is such a sweet person. I'm wondering whether I should confront them or just let it slide. I think it's pretty unfair that they think they can go on talking crap about her. If I do confront them, there's a good chance I'd be loosing two friends, maybe even all three, because my other friend is the type of person who sides with the majority. Please, what should I do? (link)
|
Just say, 'I like her.' If they challenge you on it, tell them you never had any problem with her and you don't want to start now. If they reject you for it, then walk. Who needs "friends" who are nasty, backbiting gossips? Who needs them?
Life's too short for petty bull****. Go hang out with the other girl.
|
|
I like this guy in my school and he might like me too but not completely sure. But whether or not he likes me, what are some things I can do or say to get him to like me/like me more while still being myself and not being too obvious? (link)
|
If he really does like you too, then you really won't have to do much of anything, except smile at him when you catch his eye. If the feeling is mutual, then you'll be a magnet with that simple little maneuver!
Things go wrong when we try too hard or overdo. Then it becomes contrived and we lose the natural attraction that brings us together. So don't stare at him, and don't have a perpetual grin on your face or he'll think you're a little wacky. Just be yourself and be friendly, warm and most of all...kind. Kindness, believe it or not, is very attractive.
Keep your self respect and don't let anyone, no matter how much you like them, treat you with disrespect. THAT is the most attractive attribute.
|
16/f
yeah..so idontknow if youve been seeing my posts, ive been posting a lot that are similar to eachother because i am kind of in a bad situation
right now about this entire thing..so this guy i kind of like [by the way, im pretty sure he is only using me to see what he can get out of me..he even said he wants to become better friends with benefits. he does not like me.] so he keeps on telling me that he wants me to moan when im giving him a handjob. and he wants me to moan so loud and "be a naughty girl and spit on it" first of all, i feel like im not gong to moan, this is because..i dont know..i just cant see myself doing that..sometimes when im home alone i moan so see what it would sound like..definitly fake and it makes me sound really stupid. i dont even know the right way to?! and i know he reaaally wants me to. he always mentions how he wants me to moan so loud. ugh. and then second of all, im not even sure about giving him a handjob, its so risky and stupid of me because he is a freshman im a sophmore, i met him at my friends house, he doesnt go to my school but he used to, and he is totally using me..but i still want to..but i know its a bad idea..but..ugh. and so he wants me to spit on his d*** during the handjob but uhm isnt that..awkward..and im kind of fearing that he'll push my head down onto it when im spitting on it..cause he keeps on bringing up the idea of blowjobs and then he says justkidding but i know he isnt. he keeps on asking and i keep saying idontthink so sorryy and he keeps saying, ugh come on please youll like it
like no..i wont..ill feel like a hoe.
ugh:[ and we havent talked since monday. listen ot this-
monday night we were talking and basically about what were gonna go at our friends house. and then he said he had to leave but then he said, can i get pics of your thong? and hes also asked me to send pictures of my chest but ive said no. and i told him, i dont think so sorryy. then he said okay be on again at 815, go online
so then he texts me and asks again for a pic and i say idontknoww dont get disapointed i just dont think its a good idea. then he said, ok but then im gonna be rough when he do the stuff :] and i said how rough and he said hard haha and i said okay haha and he said yeah and then i said, so what did you do today? and he never answered. and he DID get the text, i saw that he did. so i went online at 815..waited..and waited. he never showed. i texted him at 915 and said, so im on..haha and then he got it the next day and never responded. he was online about an hour ago for a half hour, im pretty sure he saw i was online too. and he didnt facebook IM me..why not...i dont know..ugh..im flipping out. did i do something?! i didnt even do anything! ill be SO SAD if he stops talking to me. and theres no reason to! im letting him do this stuff to me and im doing it to him so..why would he just not answer me or talk to me?! ugh. this whole situation drives me crazy. i just want to cry. (link)
|
Are you kidding me?! Are you kidding me?! I am almost speechless. How old are you? Is this what women have come to? Are there any women out there who have any self respect, self esteem and just plain old fashioned morals? This is not the first post I've read where this kind of situation is going on. It's repulsive!
Listen...this is the proper way to respond to this type of garbage. Yes, he is garbage.
I tell it like I see it. You need to tell this creep to stay away from you. How could you ever allow any man to treat you like this? To use you like this? You should be repulsed by the way he speaks to you. Why aren't you grossly offended? What he is telling you by his behavior is, 'You're nothing to me and I'm gonna use you. Then when I'm satisfied, I'm tossing you out. That's all you're good for.'
And...you apologize because you don't feel comfortable preforming sex acts on him?!!!
You need to re-evaluate the way you do think of yourself. You should never allow anyone to talk to you that way. No man on earth is worth allowing yourself to be degraded and demeaned. It would be better to never have a man in your life than to tolerate a piece of **** like that. I'll tell ya, if you were my daughter, you wouldn't look at a guy who didn't respect you. This guy is no good. Stay as far away from his kind as you can possibly get!
|
i've seen pictures of people on myspace and stuff where they photoshop their own picture to look like those blue&red campaing photos of obama. does anyone know how to do this ?
the pictures end up like this: http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/39/l_55bf701fd39b42c1937a33354df1b226.jpg (link)
|
There is a button for effects. All the special effects will come up when you click it. You just need to page through the effects until you fine the desired one.
Wish I could be of more help, but I'm not at my desk computer which has Photoshop, I'm on a laptop.
Download your picture and play around with it. You have a multitude of options to choose from with Photoshop! You may find a better effect than that one you're talking about, which is so commonly used.
UPDATE: Click the FILTER tab and see the choices that come up.
|
Female, 14-
So me and this guy have messed around, and have been talking since then. Every time we talk I get butterflies. The problem is, he is 17 years old. And I am 14. My whole family knows him, but doesn't really like him. He always tells me how much he misses me and how much he wants to be with me. We aren't dating, but it does definitely seem like it. We are friends, and I trust him soo much, he trusts me too. But I don't know if he really likes me or what?
What do you think?
-Andii (link)
|
Messed around? Are you sexually active? If so...big mistake. In my opinion, you're too young to be sexually active as you don't fully know yourself or life yet. You messed around but you aren't even dating? Do you plan to make it a habit of sleeping with friends? What if you have many friends? If you have had a sexual encounter at 14 yrs. old, how many sexual encounters will you have by the time your 20?
That said, I think you should not be seeing him. He will turn 18 within 12 months and then it will be illegal for him to "mess around" with you.
Take up volleyball.
|
hi M'AM, I AM REALLY REALLY DEPRESSED!! PLEASE HELP ME!
MY STORY: well in childhood i had a mild problem in urinating which was latter corrected, now at the age of 25 my penis though well developed still is small in length!!!!!! yes to add to it recently my doc said that I CANNOT FATHER A CHILD!!!!!! since i dont have enough sperms!!!! However he did say that the size though small was adequate for me to satisfy. I AM SHATTERED FRIENDS AND I M REALLY DEPRESSED!!! I M TRULY IN LOVE WITH A GIRL AND WE HAVE BEEN GOING AROUND FROM PAST 10 Years and i will definately tel her every thing!!!! but idont know WHY ME WHY??????? I HAVE STOPPED CONCENTRATING ON MY WORK, MY PERSONAL LIFE IS AFFECTED, you know how being able to father a child is treated as masculine in our world!! i dont know what to do. HOWEVER I AM SURE THAT I CAN KEEP MY GIRL HAPPY AND SATISFIED AND WE DID GET PHYSICAL SOME TIME AROUND AND WE HAVE GOOD CHEMISTRY BUT SOMEHOW I DONT KNOw HOW SHE WILL TAKE THIS NEWS (she is 21 years old)??!!!! OH GOD PLEASE HELP!! AND YOU FRIENDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I AM REALLY DOWN.......PLEASE ADVICE, since trust i found you one of those matured people who can really help in this, SO PLEASE M'AM I M EAGERLY AWAITING FOR YOUR REPLY.......... (link)
|
I understand how depressed you feel over this new found information. It can take a while to digest it all. You need to give yourself time to come to terms with it. You're relatively young and I'm sure this means everything to you, but, believe me, it is not everything.
You say you've been "going around" with a girl for the past 10 years. I'm not sure what that means. Are you seeing each other exclusively or just once in a while? If you are in a committed relationship and you truly love each other, none of this should matter to her. If, on the other hand, the relationship isn't that solid, then it could be a deal breaker, just like going off to college is sometimes a deal breaker in a relationship that seemed so good. Some women leave men who go off to war, if you can believe that! It's not the fact that he's going off to war that causes the breakup, it's the fact that the woman wasn't committed to the relationship that caused the breakup.
Obviously, this news has hit you like a ton of bricks, but I'm here to tell you that it is not the end of the world and if she loves you she will accept it and you will both get on with life. If she does not love you, it will be her excuse to move on. This will be true with any relationship you may form in the future. Love goes alot deeper than the physical aspects of a person and children can be adopted. A good man is hard to find! Therefore, if this is a deal breaker, then the relationship wasn't that strong to begin with.
|
13/f
i have no idea how to apply make-up or anything and i need a make-over. how can i give myself a make-over or get a free or cheap make-over? (link)
| |
Macy's! Or...the internet! There are so many websites that give makeup application advice. Print out some helpful hints and then take some time to experiment with them. It's fun and you may come away looking like a hot babe.
|
|
Well I've been through things in the past that really effected me and the way I act . Stuff that messed up stuff in my head , definatly NOT mental . Like with my boyfriend , I get mad at EVERYTHiNG , like seriously . I'm so over sensitive and it's like if he trys to correct me i'm very aggresive & defensive .He says it pushes him away but always wants to work through it .. he's not asking to change me , just how I respond .. i'm VERY jealous to due to a past relationshiop.. please help & GOOD advice please . (link)
|
You are over sensitive because you lack self esteem or have very low self esteem. When your boyfriend corrects you, you feel that it's a personal attack because you feel the need to protect yourself and keep your ego intact. Basically, you are saying, "I am not wrong. If I'm wrong, I'm less of a person. How dare you tell me I'm, less of a person!" This also is evident in your jealousy. You could be jealous over another woman, but jealousy can also include any activity that takes your boyfriends attention away from you. You need attention and you need positive attention, only. You are needy, it's ego based and it's unhealthy.
Your boyfriend will not continue to support your needs forever. He will tire of it as a relationship needs two way interaction and the people in it need to be able to speak their minds regarding their partner. Ofcourse, in a healthy relationship partners do this in a respectful, sensitive way, but, they do it. If he needs to remain silent for fear of offending you, then he will bottle up all his emotions until he can't take it anymore and either explode or walk out.
You need to see a counselor to talk through any unresolved issues you have. Something tells me the issues you have go back to childhood.
|
Recently I went to my friend's house for a sleepover. During the night I got hives on my face. She has a cat and two dogs, and I'm allergic. What are some good creams, pills, etc that will make them go away next time I'm there?
Thanks guys :] I appreciate any answer. (link)
| |
There are over the counter allergy medications that work very well. You could also go to the doctor and get cortisone injections, but, I think before I started on the drug route, I would not sleep over her house. Once you start on allergy meds, it can be hard to do without them as allergies can come back with a vengence and you now become dependant.
|
Hi , can anyone help!!!!!! I am 17 years old. I have a problem in that I would like to become a Goth/Gothic/ but I am also thinking about going to college /wanting a career working with horses. But how is this possible? Can Goths get jobs working with horses? Can i work with horses and still be a Goth realistically?? PLEASE HELP!!!! it's just I desperately want to do both! It's just I have NEVER EVER in my life SEEN ANYONE who is a Goth/gothic who works in a stable yard. Also the hours working with horses are long....so how can i be a Goth in my spare time ..if I don't have much spare time? But I really want to do both...WHAT CAN I DO?? help!!!! Also I was also considering a career as an actress. I would quite like to go to college do study 'performing Arts' but again:.....can I be a Goth AND an actress...because I don't think I have EVER seen a Goth actress.Do you know of any famous actors/actresses who are also Goths/gothic/follow the gothic lifestyle??? What can I do?? I haven't decided whether I want to work with horses or go into performing Arts yet.....but whatever I do I would also like to become a Goth/gothic. Can I still become a Goth if i get a job as an actress or with horses??? Please can anyone out there offer me any advice???? PLEASE HELP!!!!! Do you know of any people who either work with horses or who are actors/actresses but who are also goths?? HELP? CAN I BECOME A GOTH AND WORK WITH HORSES/AS AN ACTRESS??? please be realistic.
I am from England
(link)
|
You will be hard pressed to find a job anywhere, as a Goth. Even the equine world will think twice before hiring a Goth. It's a matter of presenting a good image.
You can't have everything in life and sometimes you have to sacrifice one dream in order to pursue another. I'd give up the Goth thing. That desire will pass.
|
I had a friend, last year. We were pretty close. Now it's like this year we've done a lot of fighting. He'll hit me with a horse whip or try to push me out a window, and I'll respond the same way. I've tried ignoring him, though I want us to be friends agein, I;ve tried talking to him, not reacting, being nice, nothing works, could you help me? I really want my friend back. But then sometime he can be so sweet, he's bi-polar and his medication makes him depressed so he dosn't take it, I don't know what I did to him, but I want things to be like they used to be. We go to a boarding school, so I can't get away from him, everywhere I go (But the girls dorm) it seems like he's always there. So I want to know, how can I refill our gap?
Much love
Willow. (link)
|
Your friend needs to take his meds before he kills someone. You need to stay away from him before he kills you.
You are not going to get your friend back unless he gets medical help and until he does, you need to back off.
You don't say how old you are, but judging from your post, I'd say you are very immature. You should not be reacting violently, unless you have a problem, too.
This situation has physical abuse written all over it. You both need individual counseling.
|
|
people tell me horses shouldnt be turned out in a pasture in the snow because they could run and slip and fall and break a bone. But I see on magaize covers, articles, that horses are out in the snow, some even live outside in the winter, that's why alot of horses need blankets..soo..whats the problem with letting your horse outside in the snow? (link)
|
If your horse is barefoot, he should have no problem on snow. If he is shod, he could have a problem with snow packing tightly into a ball in his feet. If it packs into an iceball, he will slip and slide and could hurt himself. Snow is excellent for a horses feet and some farriers recommend putting them out in the snow. My own horses are barefoot and get turned out on snow.
It is always possible that a horse can slip and fall. They can slip on grass and shallow footing, too.
Nevertheless, be careful with a shod horse on snow.
|
|
I have been strugling the last few years to bust through my shell and get out there, out of my comfort zone. I have been doing very well. ive only had one problem, recently, ive been so wrapped up in my head, in my thoughts, that i cant get out. have you ever wanted to stop thinking? just jump out of your mind and go do something else? thats how i feel right now. in school, i would just talk to my best friend, but we have since drifted apart and i haven't been able to find another friend to confide in the same way. any advice on how to get out? (link)
|
I think what you're saying is...you want to try new things and have new experiences because you're bored with doing the same old, same old, but you lack the self confidence to go it alone. That's why you lament your friendship drifting away.
If I am correct, you need to find a real interest. Something you would truly enjoy participating in. That way, the excitement of participating in your interests will overcome the fear (for lack of a better word) of going it alone.
Once you've taken the steps to pursuing your interests, you'll find it easier and easier to do things on your own, and loving it! There's something to be said for a person who can enjoy their own company and the freedom it affords them. These people can be at ease in any situation, once they've become comfortable in their own skin and...they are people magnets. People LOVE to be around a confident, self assured person. Trust me on this one. Now get out there and do something you love!
|
14/f This will be long sorry...
Ok I feel horrible. Its more than just school I guess. But first off I haven't doing very good in school. I'm in 9th grade. And its so hard because I feel like I'm being pressured to know what I want to do in life and college and so on. I won't be able to go to a university or anything. I'm pretty sure of that. I wanted to go to college because I want to do good in school and I don't want to fail. The only classes I gave A's in is PE and Health. The rest are B's and C's. Except Biology and Math are D's. I'm surprised I haven't had an F. Even my friends are surprised. I mean I have great friends but its pretty much expected. All my friends get good grades and I don't know whats wrong with me. I feel like I can't amount to anything. Now my parents have been fighting and my dad almost left and I just don't know what to do anymore. I stay away from them and I don't really talk to my parents much anymore because I don't want to get into this. I have a boyfriend and its been a month since we've been going out and that's like the only good thing here. But I know I have lots of people that love me and I'm so happy about that its just thinking about all this other stuff is driving me crazy. And to be honest..like last year I did cut myself and like a month ago too. I know I shouldn't but I don't plan on it again. I try and find someone to turn to for help on this homework, parents and such and my friends listen. Its just I don't know how to deal with it. I use to get good grades in elementary school when it was way easier. I try and forget about everything at home because I fight alot with my brother and my parents so I have been trying to stay away from that so I've been focusing more on school and pushing myself so hard and its just so hard. Please help I'm so confused. I feel so loved though, its great. I mean by all my friends and guys and stuff. But I mean I'm not conceited just it makes me feel better. Thanks for reading this and thanks if you can answer this. (link)
|
For a young person going through difficult time at home, with parents fighting and possibly breaking up, I'd say you're doing amazingly well. You have alot of inner strength. That's hard to come by nowadays. Is it possible you're not doing well in school because of troubles at home? These things can affect everything we do in life and cause frustrations to come out in strange ways, like cutting. What you are experiencing is stress, and more stress than a 9th grader should have to go through. In this day and age, young people are going through different kinds of stress than when I was young, and it isn't easier, it's harder, because unfortunately, parental relationships don't necessarily stay together anymore. In my parents time, divorce was unheard of and the children, for the most part, always had a solid support system because both parents were in their lives. It's not always that way nowadays. It takes a super strong kid to get through this sort of thing, and judging from the fact that you have friends and family that love you and you are a happy individual, you have the ability to go the distance.
People will behave way they want to. If there is fighting at home that is affecting you, you should speak to your parents about it. Tell them that the fighting that goes on in the house is affecting you in school. Tell them you can't just turn it off when you walk into the classroom. Ask them for their help. You may just touch their heartstrings and get results. As for your brother, you could do the same with him, although sometimes siblings are less sympathetic. He may be going through the same stress as you, therefore, you could expect him to have the same tensions as you.
As for cutting yourself...please, don't do that again. Once you develop a habit of doing that, you may not be able to stop. When you feel yourself getting to the point that you are entertaining the idea, divert yourself to something constructive. Perhaps you could take up and instrument? Or a sport.
You must also realize that you are going to be more emotional in your teens. That's a fact of life. These problems are coming on at the worst possible time in your life...your teenage years. I promise you...this too will pass!
|
|