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This is a really random question about religion in songs
Okay, so, I'm 21 f. I'm a voice teacher. I was born Jewish, but my beliefs have melded into Agnosticism with a touch of Hindu over the years. One of my best students keeps gravitating towards all these "god-songs" (Think David Archuletta, Angels) as I call them, things that talk about believing in "the father" or "my Jesus," and it's really, REALLY getting on my nerves. This student is 23, by the way, so he's not a little kid. His parents are major Catholics (and they hate me).
I suppose I might also include that this guy is my ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend. So I can't just drop him as a student. Besides, he's fantastic. He has nearly a four octave range full voice, and I enjoy listening to him sing. (Which actually says quite a bit, because I'm one of the harshest critics out there. I'm hard pressed to find any singers I actually enjoy listening to. I can always find something completely off-putting about their singing or their song choice.)
Anyway, my issue is this:
He wants to work on religious songs, and I feel like I can't condone it because I don't believe in "god", I don't feel comfortable with the term, and I just...I don't know. Those songs bother me quite a bit.
On the other hand, I feel I'm being a bit hypocritical because - and I hate to admit this - I sing for a church choir. BUT, I'm getting paid big bucks to do it, and the director has some crazy connections in the music world.
I'm not the most religious girl (obviously) but the one firm issue I have with the three big ones (Christianity, Muslim, and Judaism) are that they believe in this "Almighty God," and I just HATE it for some reason.
I'm not even sure why, but the idea of one of my students/friends singing something like that upsets me.
Anyone have any insight or suggestions?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
A Christian might say you are under demonic influence. According to the Bible, Satan hates to hear his adversaries name and everything He stands for. He can't bare to be in His presense.
I know someone VERY close to me who had this same situation to the max. She actually got exceedingly loud and aggressive whenever anyone started talking about God or Christian beliefs, sometimes to the point of storming quickly out of the room.
This probably won't have much meaning to you since you "don't believe in God". Anyway, you are an atheist, not an agnostic, if you don't believe in God.
Your Jewish heritage is the cream of the crop.
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first of all
by telling him to not sing relegious songs and you are in a church choir then you are a hypacrite.
i know i am not the best speller in the world so dont even judge be for that, i know my flaws and now its time for you to see yours.
if he enjoys sining this then let him. he is not hurting anyone. he has freedom of relegion and you need to step back and relieze this.
you are not paid to judge his songs but to judge how he sings them. if you have a serious problem with him then you back down, dont make him. he is doing nothing wrong but trying to voice his opinion.
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You need to step back and realize something VERY important:
It's HIS LIFE, not yours.
It's HIS DECISION, not yours.
If he is happiest singing "god-songs" then let him, even if he can do much better than that. It's perfectly fine to tell him, "I think you could do so much better than these sorts of songs," but you need to realize that this is what he wants to do.
It sounds like he may need to stop being a student of yours because you're letting things get to you that are unacceptable. As a teacher, you need to realize that your student is not you, but simply a part of your training. You have helped him, yes, but from there he makes the calls.
Tell him the truth, if you have to. He really needs to be taught under someone else who hasn't had feelings for him and who can step back from the TYPE of song and simply listen to the voice. Your job is not to judge songs, but to judge his voice. Let him know something around the lines of: "[Name], I have come to realize that our past relation is affecting the way I instruct you. I feel like it is in your best interest to find another voice teacher that doesn't have this sort of barrier. You have a beautiful voice but I am just letting things get to me that are not acceptable. I am sorry."
Seriously, if you continue the way you are you will end up hurting this guy in some fashion. If you tell him to stop singing what he loves to sing then you may end up discouraging him. If he is too discouraged he may abandon the idea altogether.
Please, step back and realize your students are just students. They are not you or under your control. As a teacher, you only HELP them grow. If they have grown and want to go back to something they just really enjoy then that is their decision to make.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. My answer does not have to do with religion or his choice of music specifically, please remember that. My answer is from one person who was going to college to become a teacher to a person who currently is already an instructor. Religion or religious upbringing has nothing to do with response, for all I care you could have said he was into satanic chants and I would have responded the same.
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I would ask him first as to what kind of religious songs he wants to sing, I mean, you can get the big God songs, but you can also get the lower down Gospel songs which have got a meaning in it.
I don't believe in God, but to be quite frank, that doesn't really stop me from listening to some gospel songs which I can relate to to some level.
Let him have a go at singing some and see how you feel about it.
Here a little story from me which is kinda the same. I listen to Mariah Carey... a lot. Think 24/7 a lot. That should give you a rough idea. Now, my friends don't like her because they think that she' this super bi**** diva who gets her way and thinks she's so high up than everybody else and as to how I can listen to her songs and "scream" is beyond them and they always laugh when I say that her songs can reach to her fans and help them connect to the song. When they ask to listen to one of her songs, I ask them in turn to listen to the lyrics, connect with them and see how they feel... that usually never works. Now, I know that I can't make them love her to death like I do and probably never will, but what hurts me the most is that they judge her, before that know her.
So, what's the relevance of that story? You could kinda put this on your pupil's perspective, he may love these songs because of the connection he can make with them and flip them onto his own life or they express what he feels. And you not liking these God songs could in a way could be hurting him because they're what he loves to listen/sing to.
Now, even though you didn't ask for a song, I'm going to suggest one which is by Mariah (naturally) which is about God, but not in such a huge way and I always listen to it. And I'm not suggesting it just because it is about God, but he can also use his four octave range in it, just bring the high notes down slightly to fit him. Go and listen to this song and see what you think. I'm not asking you to like it, just to consider teaching it to him. It's a gospel song:
"Fly Like A Bird"
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I'm agnostic myself, but also work in the arts industry and I'm sorry, you are being very hypocritical, and I think you know it. You don’t get to declare on what level a person can connect with a piece of art as a practitioner and, although you certainly have some rights as a teacher about what music you are comfortable using as instructional material, you aren’t behaving in such a way in your personal life that would garner you much respect as a friend or teacher if you declared ‘no more religious music!’.
However I'd venture a guess that the real issue here isn't that you are being hypocritical (after all I think we are all entitled to having the odd emotional response that is hypocritical, so long as we know it and don't go around imposing them on others or being jerks about it).
If I were a betting woman, I would bet that your relationship with this 'student' is WAY, way to emotionally involved, and that this is just one way in which you are experiencing discomfort and anxiety about it.
What I believe I heard in your question is that you *hate* religious music when HE specifically sings it (or perhaps, anyone else you know or respect). Obviously, you must see how that isn’t very respectful or tolerant towards your friends, but it also isn’t about your values so much as that is about a personal relationship where you have free-floating anxiety and unhappiness over you past with this guy. That unhappiness and old disagreements where just looking to attach themselves to some issue and religious music seemed like a really good one that you could really sink your teeth into with justification!
If you approach this guy as things are, he’ll call you hypocrite and an intolerant friend, and he’ll be right. You either need to firm up your stance on religious music and LIVE by that stance, regardless of money and infamy, or take a deep breath and accept both Handel and him, and any other friends and students for exactly what they are and will always be: talented, and VERY religious.
What I would suggest you to do is seriously think about whether or not you have enough distance and emotional separation from this ex to have a healthy and happy student-teacher relationship with him. Because if this issue is really eating at you, you probably don’t.
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Your situation is kind of tricky. From one agnostic to another, I must admit that you had me until the choir thing.
Now, I understand why you do it, but at the same time it really does ruin your options of taking an anti- religious stand with this guy. The thing about principles is that they cannot be bent when one can stand to gain from it. That is really what defines a principle in my opinion.
So, if you ever do approach your student with the issues that you have, he will quite rightly think you are being hypocritical.
Don't get me wrong, I totally understand your frustration with the message in the music. I personally have a problem with any position that considers itself to be the ultimate truth, yet fails to provide one iota of proof. However, that does not change things.
This basically leaves us back at the beginning. You cannot confront this person and ask him to understand your feelings. Not while you are singing in a choir. The only message this would convey to him is that he is not as important to you as money is. Since that is the one major difference between the two situations. Worse yet actually, in the other scenario you are the one actually doing the singing.
This leaves you with the options that you listed, which implies determining which is more important to you- his friendship and having him as a student vs your dislike for hearing religious propaganda in song.
Personally I would take a hard look at my beliefs and reevaluate my position. Consistency is the most basic element in taking a stand. Without it, one cannot be taken seriously. For me this really is a choice between being in that choir or not.
I know this was not the greatest help to you, but that is how I would reason your situation.
Good luck.
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