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Caught In The Middle
Two of my best friends hate each other's guts for reasons that are completely stupid, but I of course, am stuck in the middle. They were good friends at one point a while back but things just changed, and now they really can't stand each other. We use to be a really tight knit group of four, the 'fab four' as you may call it, but now it's down to three, and we've recently taken in a 'replacement' for the missing spot. So now two out of the four of us hate the girl that use to be in our group, but the other two can bare with her. It's just annoying that I have to put up with their trash talk, because in reality, she never did anything wrong. I feel like I can't keep tolerating them talking rudely behind her back, because she is such a sweet person. I'm wondering whether I should confront them or just let it slide. I think it's pretty unfair that they think they can go on talking crap about her. If I do confront them, there's a good chance I'd be loosing two friends, maybe even all three, because my other friend is the type of person who sides with the majority. Please, what should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Do you really want to be friends with these girls that are making you feel bad? If they are ganging up on the other girl , that is just wrong. You said she didn't do anything wrong. So you need to be the bigger person and stand up for the girl who's getting trash talked behind her back. Would you want to be in her shoes?
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Just say, 'I like her.' If they challenge you on it, tell them you never had any problem with her and you don't want to start now. If they reject you for it, then walk. Who needs "friends" who are nasty, backbiting gossips? Who needs them?
Life's too short for petty bull****. Go hang out with the other girl.
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I think if you hear them saying an out and out lie, you should call them on it. On the rest, you will have to consider this...
Sometimes, when people talk crap about another person to you, they take it as agreement when you listen. They play upon your words, and may present it to others as if you were involved in the conversation, even if you only shook your head slightly for one second.
This is the best way to deal with the situation. Say this to your friends, "You know, when you talk about (insert name) so uch, you give other people the impression you are jealous. I know you're not jealous, I'm just telling you what it comes off as. And another thing, people hear you talking like that and say, 'well, I wonder what they say about me behind my back.' I know you don't talk about me behind my back, I'm just telling you what I heard someone else say."
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