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May 4, 2011

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I used to date a friend of mine, and then we broke up, then stayed friends.

Then one day, we had a fight, and we've been antagonistic to each other since.

I tried a long time ago to mend the friendship to no avail, and settled on just hating.

It's been over half a decade now, and since common interests and such keep making us encounter each other, I'm getting tired.

I'm tired of being afraid of being hurt emotionally by her, I'm tired of being angry with her, and I'm tired of hate. Honestly, if I don't drop this negativity that's weighing down on me, and wearing down my self-esteem and my psyche, it will probably kill me.

I'm debating just sending an email or something. Just saying I'm sorry, and that I'm tired of this feud, and I want it to end. While it'd be nice to have one of my best friends back, I'd settle for just not being enemies anymore.

The only thing that's keeping me from doing this already is the same fear. I don't want her thinking I'm trying to get back with her (something she brought up against me, but was never my intent). I just... I just really really want to let go of all these negative feelings I have towards her. How do I get this point across to her, and have her understand what I'm trying to do?

You don't have to tell her anything :) I had a similair problem. Me and this other girl got into a big fight and we began hating each other. This went on for a couple of years. Now, everytime we see each other, I just let it go. She'll glare at me but I usually just show a little smile and go on with whatever i'm doing. Don't let your hatred for her or her hatred for you control your life. I'm not saying you have to ignore her, but you don't have to hate her either. It's kindof a "just because your not friends doesn't mean your enemies" thing :) Goodluck!

okay so me and my so called best friends arent getting along to well. we fight alot over boys and other things. okay so i decided to have a get together u could say of them all and well we went to six flags. and my so called best best friends crush was there and he wanted to see ME and her so we meet up with him and he huged me first and i got cold so he was worming me up by holding my hands then he satrted holding my best friends hands so i droped his. and then she made me sit on all the rides by my self so she could sit with him. that pissed me off so then he droped her hand and picked me up and was holding me. well my crush was there too, but when i saw him he was hooking up with some random girl! witch pisses me off but yea. so me and my freinds started walkking away and my best friend was like ha ha he doesnt like u any more thats funny. so i was in a bad mood all night bc of her and her crush was getting clingy on me and i pushed him away yet my friends say i was flirting with him witch i wasnt at all! should i leave them behind and go with my new frinds i made this year? they make me smile and we all are big flirts so we never get mad at each other and we all ways go to partys together and have fun where my other frineds dont like what i do.

Well, of course staying friends with people is hard. Everyone changes as they grow up. I suggest you don't break it off with your old friends in an ugly way though. Don't announce that you don't want to be friends with them anymore, just gradually slip out of the friend ship. Don't take all their calls all the time. Don't hang out with them as often. Just keep it peaceful so they aren't your enemies. Just because they aren't your friends doesn't mean they're your enemies, right? If they question why you aren't ever available to hang out with just shrug and say you are just really busy. Goodluck! Hope it goes ok!

When i want to concentrate, i find that my mind is thinking of too many things at once. I find myself thinking of school, friends, boys, etc. all at one time!

This is so hard when i want to study but all this stuff comes to my head! i feel like i have no control over my own mind!

what can i do to only concentrate on ONE thing?
any techniques and symptoms to why i cant concentrate on just one thing?!

THANKS

I have the same thing! It was causing me to do really bad in school, so my mom took me to the doctor and he had her fill out a survey about me. According to the results, I have ADD. They gave me a prescription for a medicine called Adderal and now i'm able to concentrate MUCH easier! Goodluck!

so i have this vision..bare with me..let me tell you how it goes
here it is:
im 16 or 17
i have a really nice body
really cute..
ummm i have money..like enough to by my own stuff and going shopping..
i have lots of friends that dont go to my school..like random people from the mall
umm im really girllyy like I shop at forever 21 and stuff like that
i have like 3 boyfriends..cause i wanna be a female player and everybody wants to be my friend
i have my own car
and i get good good grades

is this possible..its my crazyyy dreamm I wanna be like this one day..im 15 going on 16 in like 4 months..what do you think
how do i get there..and dont say love yourself..cause this is who i wanna be

any ways to get there?

Ha ha well, dream big and reach for the stars. Here's some things to help

Want a nice body? Work out and eat healthy. Tons of sites online will tell you what kinds of foods you should eat and what kinds of exercises will keep you in shape!

Want a pretty face? Keep it clear with some Proactive or Neutrogena. Use flattering makeup, but not too much. Again, tons of websites can help you with makeup tips.

Want money? There are a lot of ways to make money. Since you're almost 16, you can look in to getting a job! Or you could ask for a raise in you allowance or ask to help out around the house for money. There are even some sites that send you money for doing quizes/surveys. Ex: Cashcrate.com. :)

Want to make friends? When you go to the mall, be social. Go up to someone and ask them a question like "Wow, I love that top, what store did you get it at?" or something like that. Compliments usually help a lot. Just remember, the more friends you have, it's likely the more drama you will have to deal with so stay out of the gossip circle and you should survive ha ha

Want to have a boyfriend? Ha ha I suggest you not get 3 boyfriends... sorry but this could ruin a lot and it also starts gossip and rumors and could really end up hurting you :) I recommend you just stick with one... If you want a boyfriend though, when you're at the mall/at school, always be sure to be confident and cool. Strut your stuff and act like you own the place ha ha confidence is key :) the social thing also helps with this.

Want to get a car? Well, with a job, you might be able to afford one. Cut a deal with your parents and ask them to help pay a bit. Save up. Ask around to close friends or relatives if they are planning on selling their car soon. My dad sold his car to my brother for 1000 dollars and got a new one. My dad's sold car was already payed off though so my brother now pay's my dad's new car bills :)

Want to get good grades? Simple, study and do your work. If you're having trouble understanding something, ask the teacher or go to a tutor. Most schools have free tutoring programs before or after school.

Well, goodluck in you quest to re-invent yourself! I hope I helped a bit!

I got an email saying my default picture was on this site. Why would my picture be on here and who put it on here?

DO NOT respond to it! They are trying to phish your account/computer! It's just spam and hackers mostly :)

im a captain to an all stars team and i dont know how to get them to listen and then get them to understand your squde is like a family and theres no i in team please give me help or advive on wat to do im soo lost!

Have you had any team meetings? Get your team together and do some team building and trust activities! Not only will it help build trust, it will be fun and help then all bond. Remind them that in cheerleading, you put your safety and well being into your team's hands and that trust is not only recommended, but NEEDED to be a team :) Goodluck!

I have never acted this way before but suddenly i am...I am always angry and dont know why...I already have my period this month so that cant be it...My Mom ask me whats wrong and she thinks i am lying to her when i say nothing but i really dont know what is wrong someone please explain what is going on with me!

Haha I remember the mood swings.... luckily, my teen angst only lasted a year or two. I'm now 14 and no longer look for reasons to get angry and irrateted :) Everyone matures at a different pace, mood swings are just part of the process. You could also be bipolar, but that also involves many other emotions other than anger. Just think about what others think of you when you blow up at them. I used to go over whatever situation had just gone on and think about what made my parents say this? what made them think that? How would I react to someone acting this way towards me? Just be aware of your feelings when you're getting annoyed or angry. Also, try not to look for reasons to get mad. For example, if your mom asks you to do a chore or something, just do it. It's just a question, she probably does chores all day! It's muuuccchh easier to obey then to try to start a fight because, as unfortunate as it seems, your parents will ALWAYS win. Don't fight a lost battle :) goodluck!

I know I am at times and though I try not to be, I feel myself slip into thinking that I am amazing and that I simply have qualities that other people lack. I seem to sometimes think that I understand things better than other people, that I am deep, and that I have greater intellect than other people. But that obviously isn't true, because we are all so different and each person has something remarkable to bring to this world. No one has ever told me that I am self centered, because I tend to be nice to everyone, it's just that in my mind I classify people and judge them and look for their bad qualities. I think I do it subconsciously to make me feel better about myself. I believe my arrogance comes from my insecurity. I had lower self-esteem a year or so ago, so I'm recovering from that, and I have been hurt by many guys before. I guess this is simply how I cope with my insecurities. But I'm trying so hard to give love to my friends and to everyone I meet. I don't want it to be me versus the world. I want to be part of a world, and united with people, rather that to isolate myself in my arrogance. I hope someone can help me to work on this issue. How can I become a better person? Thank you so much :)

This is a really, really good question :) Ok, there's nothing wrong with having a high self esteem, unless you are belittling others to build it. Personally, I'm pretty arrogant myself. I feel like I'm more deep and intellectual then most, though I'm obviously not. I "tame" this problem by having phases. I know it's not easy to control phases, but I think it's possible. I have "I'm the shit" phases and then i'll start being insecure and compare myself to others. I alternate between the two phases every week or so. I know it's not right to be down on yourself all the time, but I think I have a good mix of the two phases. Also, when you start to think arrogant, think about what the other person is thinking about. If you pass by some girl in the hallway or are talking to a friend and you catch yourself starting the whole "I'm soooo much deeper/intellectual/etc. then her/him.", just think about what they think. Think about what they think of you and what they wonder. Chances are, it's probably the same things you do. Everyone has an urge programmed into them to be "special". Some people physically/mentally make reasons to, while others create reasons by lowering everyone else around them. Just know that how you feel is completely normal. :) goodluck!

what do guys like in girls?(physically and personality wise)(f/13)

Weellll, like the person below me said, it varies from guy. Some guys will be physically attracted to you, others will think otherwise. Some will think you have a great personality, others will think it's annoying. It really just depends on the guy :) like the underperson said though, there is a guy out there for everyone. One of my close friend's daughter is mentally retarded and can't pay for her own living and even she found a husband :) goodluck!

ok so i haven't seen the movie yet but i was watching some video's on youtube and they were saying things like the cloverfield monster is real and stuff like that here is a video that says that there is a picture of the monster in the movie poster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0_cCM2y38Q&feature=related

and here is a video claiming to show the movies three main secrets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKdPUNwQWjQ&feature=related

so does anyone believe that this is based on a true story or is it just something someone made up

Ha ha nnooooooo it is not real. COMPLETELY made up, I swear. Even if there was such a monster, which there isn't, it wouldn't be able to step foot on land because it would be used to extreme pressure and there is none on the surface, so it would likely explode ha ha. Watch the movie, it is a very well CG monster, but a CG none the less. Definitely not real. :)

If you are sick and you drink noting but water how much weight will you lose and will you gain it all back?

Well it depends on what type of sickness you have. If it's the kind that makes things come out of your body (diarhea, throwing up, etc.) and you drink a lot of water, it probably wouldn't have as good of an effect because it's just adding back what you've lost. If it's not and you drink a lot of water, you will probably lose a little bit of weight, assuming you are sick for at least a week, but will quickly gain it back when you start to feel better :) Hope I helped!

ok so lately theres alot of times where im in a convo with someone then we stop talkin about that and its akward and hard to start convo's
any suggestions for good conversation starters or things i could talk about would be appreciated

In addition to what the person below me said, I like to kind of make fun of the silent awkwardness :D ha ha I'll say something like "sssoooo....this is strangely awkward...talk!" ha ha it works for me! :D goodluck!

SO i heard that if you ahve really frizzy, think, curly, wave hair that if you perm it. it will calm it down. is this true?
or something of the sort?

Noooo, actually it would probably make it look work because you would still have frizzy hair, but it would be permed frizzy hair D: Just use a really moisturizing shampoo or conditioner, and you can also use leave-in conditioner :) I also use Rave Hairspray :D spray a bit all over and then brush it out and walla! It stays and doesn't frizz! Goodluck!

19/f.

My nose is wide, big, and sticks out too much. And I have a little bump on my bridge because that part got broken and never quite healed right. It really looks out of proportion. It bothers me a lot because I'm the only female in my family that has it. When I go pick up my little brother, the kids there ask if I'm his brother. Never mind that I'm wearing a skirt?

When that happens, I'm too embarrassed to say anything.

And people my age and older often think I'm one of those boys that has a feminine face.

It really lowers my self esteem.

And it's annoying me because I honestly don't think I'll ever get surgery for it. I don't like surgery and I don't want to people think I'm so superficial because it's only my nose that bugs me so much.

I don't know what to do. I've got my hair cut to bring attention away from nose. Make up doesn't distract all that much.

Well first off, I have nothing against rhinoplasty :) I'm actually all for it. If it raises your self esteem, why not? Chances are, the people who will try to call you superficial are really pretty and goodlooking and they don't know how it feels to have a different-looking nose :) And you should tell them that if they try to tease you, because making you feel bad about your decisions is VERY immature. Also, I also have a bump nose thing (I'll probably get the surgery sometime when I'm older too) and I hide it for now with a cute bang cut. :) If they think you look like a boy, get a girly-er cut :D Goodluck!

14/f
hey my name is claire,
Okay so I really like this guy, we call each other our "bestest friends" and last night we hung out for the first time and he asked for my number so i gave it to him then i got his. Now when he texts me i'm afraid the conversation is going to be boring like

Him: hey
me: Heyy
him: whats up?
Me: nm bored you?
him: sameee haha
me: coool

...and then its just going to be awkward and boring. i don't want him to think i'm a boring person. so like what could i say to make the conversation go on for like EVER. you know like when you have those late night texts staying up all night texting the one you like? I want to do soemthing like that so like what could i say to make the conversation last long and have him interested in me? Thanks

Ok, well first, NEVER say "nothing just bored"! Always say what you're doing, even if it's just watching tv, it leaves another conversation open (ex: "oh cool whatcha watching?"). Since you've already hung out with him, say something like "Oh, remember when I/you did [something]?" bring up stuff that made you two laugh and recall it or tease him about it :) Also, if it does get awkward, don't be afraid to make fun of the silence! Say something like "sooooo are we going to talk or just sit here". You know, just acknowledge it in a funny way and he should say something like "what do you want to talk about?" which leaves the decision up to you about what you two can talk about :) Goodluck!

14/f. I'm a freshman. I want to find a sport. I'm not like good at anything. I want a sport I feel like i'm wasting my life. I can't think of anything. I used to run so I can run long and short distance. I don't want to do track or cross country. Been there done that. I like football, not that great. And i'm a girl. So yea. I know I could still do it but it'd be harder you know? sport suggestions?!?!

Hmmm....well, I don't know how strict your school tryout teams are, but ours are pretty leniant. Almost everyone who tryed out made the volleyball team. During the 8th grade, I tryed out for basketball and volleyball. I'd been playing basketball for 6 years straight and had never played volleyball ever. I didn't make basketball but I did volleyball. It really just depend on how strict the coach is, if you just want to MAKE the team. Just practice whatever you want to go out for and get better so you won't feel like the worst on the team :) Goodluck!

well i'm a very random person to start out with.
i LOVE being random.
but sometimes when i'm with this guy i like, i just can't think of anything random to say.
i know most guys like randomness, haha.
and he used to be like haha your so random. its so cute(;
you know, things like that.
what are some random things to say.
just like wierd things out of the blue?
maybe even ones that would start a nice conversation.

Wellll first off, if we tell you what to say, it's not really that random :) but yeah how about things like:

-How big are your feet?
-Questions about hair?
-other random physical appearance questions :)

or you could spark a debate?

-How do you think the world will end?
-Who are you going for in politics?
-Do you believe in god (ummm careful with that one)

Just remember, trying to be random, isn't always the best way to be random. Just open your mind and say the first thing that comes to your mind :) goodluck!

Okay well my ex boyfriend Elvis..I like him still. But we still talk and i just wanted to be friends. My other ex before him had naked pictures of me and so he got mad and put them up on facebook, everyone saw them,So elvis was like i want to see them, i was just kidding arouned with him and i was like ill show you. Then he was like will you have sex with me? I said yes cuz well i like him. He is not telling me i HAVE to do it and he is such a great guy. BUt im not sure if i should have sex or not.Im only 14 and i feel like I want to but then again i dont want to.You get what im saying.

Well first off, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have sex at age unless you live in Canada or something. Second, if you're having any doubt in your mind at all, don't do it. In my opinion, 14 is waaaayyy to young to have sex. If you start now, it won't be as special as when you get older. It'll just be like "oh, I've already done it... it's nothing new." Wouldn't you rather your first time be special? Anyways, goodluck, and I hope you make the right choice!

I have been watching the news and reading online..I keep hearing the Economy will not go down but then banks are filing bankruptcy and businesses closing down and a bank who was bailed out by the 700 billion dollar bail out spent $450k on vacation for themselves...movie stars losing homes...My company in a hotel industry...and have been making cuts for the past 6 years...

And I can't get hired for more than $7.50 per hour and that don't pay the bills..

It seems the economy is imploding on itself...

it's what happens when banks just shoot out loans to people and then the people can't pay it back...

In fact there was a black monday and 5 friends couldn't get paid a thing not even to cash a check...

So what is going on and don't just say recession...

I want the Truth and the whole truth.

Well, we're really not in a recession right now...more like depression. Anyways, there's a LOT of things wrong with the economy, but this page could probably explain it better than I could ha ha:

http://themoderatevoice.com/at-tmv/guest-contributor/22876/the-2008-depression-the-cause-guest-voice-part-i/

15/F
Not a tragedy, I just like alliteration.
Theres this kid in my gym class and hes my bestfriends OTHER bestfriends [aka, my ex enemy, now aquaintance] ex boyfriend. She broke up with him because he was willing to kiss another girl. I dont know the whole story. So he has a truthbox on myspace and I couldnt resist the temptation and said "I'm wondering if you're worth getting to know." Now look where that got me :/
For an entire straight week, thirteen replies later, he's angry with me! And hes STILL trying to figure out who I am. Why could this be such a big deal to him? He's one of the cool kids. He's probably not looking for a new friend.
He almost found out asking if my screenname had 'just' in it. Which it did, before I changed it.
But I feel soo bad! Id be humiliated and feel so stupid if he knows that it's me, but it'd be awkward more than anything. But I don't want to lie to him!
What should I do?? Just not reply?

So don't tell him :) I mean, the only reason he's curious is because he has a suspicion someone might like him. I get all question-ey when someone tells me someone else likes me too. I feel like I have to know, plus it's fun to do "detective work" lol. Think about it, if some person that you couldn't track down or ever know who it was messaged you and said they think you're interesting enough to get to know, wouldn't you be curious too? Maybe he's just being dramatic, but you don't have to tell him if you don't want to. I mean, he won't ever know that it was you who didn't tell him who it was right? :) Goodluck!

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