Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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My art teacher was talking about how colors affect our moods. She said that the color red has been known to increase food cravings and make a person feel hungry. She even went as far as to say that's why a lot of food places, like Pizza Hut, use the main color red for their buildings outside and inside. Does anybody know if this is true or if she was just making it up? (link)
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It's true that the color red makes eating more appetizing. Red is a warm, inviting color and it's been said that putting food on red plates makes you eat more. Inversely, putting food on blue plates will make you eat less. For this reason many restaurants and kitchens are painted red.
-Abby
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I've been going out with this guy for 4 weeks now but we haven't made the step forward to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I tell him that I want to be his girlfriend and his only one? I know he isn't seeing anyone else right now either but I'm really into him and I am getting the feeling that he's into me, too. I'd like to go on and start the relationship. How do I tell him without coming across as demanding and pushy? We go out 2 or 3 times a week and talk on the phone a lot so I have plenty opportunity, but I just need to find the right words. (link)
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The best thing to do is talk to him in person about it. Wait for a quiet moment where you can really talk to him and ask him where he thinks you two are going. If he wants a relationship then he'll ask you to be his girlfriend. He's probably wondering the same thing as you and might just be too shy to ask you or doesn't want to rush into it.
He may also not want a relationship right now, so don't be shocked if he says he just wants to keep things casual. However it is your decision if you are okay with just hooking up without the title or if you need to be in a relationship. Usually 'friends with benefits' or hook ups get messy, so be careful.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
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Drama in relationships shouldn't be tolerated, especially if its over facebook. It seems like your boyfriend is being very immature about this and lying is a huge red flag. Talk about with him and tell him you know what he did and tell him why it bothers you. See if he apologizes and agrees not to do anything like that again, and see if he's sincere. If he sees that youre hurt and is still immature about this, it may be time to let him go.
-Abby
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Im 17/f , & I will be 18 in Nov. Michael is 16 & will be 17 in Oct. He is the youngest guy I have dated. We have been dating for 4 months. He's my first serious relationship I have had since my ex Thomas in 06'. When he first asked me out, I said yes, but I felt like I made the wrong decision cause I was scared of what people would think of him cause he isn't the cutest thing in the world, but he's sweet. I gave him a chance, cause I didn't want to be shallow & miss out on a good guy. After 2 months, I told Michael that I had an ex (Thomas) coming over to see my family cause he was really close to them, & Michael didn't care at all; he trusts me. Thomas & I sat in his truck just bringing up our past, & it brought back a lot of memories. He said he still loved me, & that when im 18 he was going to ask me back out, cause he is 21 & his parents weren't okay with the age difference. He was aware about my new boyfriend. We didn't do anything, NOT EVEN HUG. After he left, I started having mixed emotions about if i wanted to be with Michael or not, so I talked to him about it, & explained how I felt to him; days went by & I had a feeling inside me that I felt guilty, but I had nothing to feel guilty over. I finally broke up with him; I felt happier; but than again I felt as if something was missing. When I left him, he cried & was very hurt; we talked & got back together cause we both thought it was Thomas's presents that I was feeling this way; and we also thought that it was the fact that we barely hung out with each other. So we started hanging out alot more & the mixed emotions went away. We had sex once a couple of weeks later. Ever since then we have been fine until Friday; I told him I wasn't in love with him but I do love him; he said he was in love with me. My mixed emotions are coming back. I brought it to his attention again, & he says its cause Im on my period, cause last mixed emotions happen while I was on my period also. I feel as if our relationship is boring. We have tried new things, but our relationship doesn't get any better to me. When we hang its like we are bestfriends, but I know I like him as more. Looks aren't everything, hes a good guy which makes me like him more.We use to be able to talk on the phone for hours, & now I dont like talking to him any longer than maybe 10 minutes on the phone cause he irritates me. The littlest things he does gets on my nerves, & I don't understand why. I use to love to kiss him, but now I don't. I have no problem cuddling with him, but its only when I want too. I dont want to hurt him, cause he has treated me the best that I have ever been treated & he had a rough past where people would just walk out of his life & I dont want to be like that. Sometimes I find him immature, even though he really isn't. He just doesn't think before he speaks. He has tried to change himself to keep me, but I dont want him being something he's not. I know its not lust, cause we aren't all over each other, & I dont like doing sexual things with him. I just really don't know what to do.I've been thinking that maybe it's the fact that I like the idea of having a boyfriend, but Im not too sure. I don't want to break up with him, and than regret it, but I dont want to stay with him just to get him more attached to me and than hurt him more. Its like when I break up with him, I feel heartbroken & I want him back, but when I take him back, I dont want to be with him. Im lost, and confused.
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I cant tell you what's in your heart, so this is a hard question to answer. I suggest taking a break, for at least 2 weeks. Cut all contact. See if you miss him. It may just be that you like having a boyfriend or have gotten attatched to him as a friend. After the break, take him back as a friend and see if that fulfills you. You'll yearn for him if you really want to be with him. And make sure you are thinking of HIM, and not just having someone, not just physical contact or someone to talk to.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I've got a couple of friends. But I'm not super close to them. They have friends that are closer to them than I am so I don't really know all the news things happening to them and I'll find out a couple of days later. I mean, we're close, but not AT close.
I have a best friend and I tell her 99% everything! Sometimes, I wish I had another best friend or maybe two more so that if there's a rough situation I'm in and I couldn't tell my best friend, at least I'll have someone else to talk to. Posting them online to anonymous people is also okay, I guess, but I'm not comfortable with that.
Am I bad for even hoping for another friend? Not a REPLACEDMNT, but more than one? Or should I be happy with what I have? I mean, I think my best friend talks to some other people about things more than she does with me about her troubles :( (link)
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I have a group of close friends and one best friend. I like being super close to one but also close to the others. I like having the others because I can confide in them things I wouldn't tell my bff.
You can deepen your relationship with the other friends by spending more time with them and confiding in them more, and they will do the same. Try to make new friends too, you'll never know who you'll get close to.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Well me and my boyfriend yes the Jeff guy we started dating and well he is wanting to get "serious" and im cool with that as long as we dont have sex. I promised everyone, me and God also i would wait until i was married. But what do i do if he wants to have sex? FYI im 13 1/2 and hes 14. I dont think im old enough but all my friends do it but idk... I mean its okay to fool around and have some fun but i dont want him to take it farther than that. Its just too much for me to take in right now. I mean i "want" to have sex sooo badly but i dont want to break my promise, or my cherry....yet...... im in eight grade and all but i just reallyyyyy donntttt knooowwwww............. (link)
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You are TOO YOUNG to be thinking about these things. It may seem 'normal' now, but most kids your age just talk about that stuff and don't actually do it. And those who do do it are called horrible words like whore, slut, hoe, etc. Wait til you are more mature and have been in a longer relationship to do anything besides kissing. You should feel completely comfortable with the boy and trust him. If he won't stay in the relationship if there isn't sex involved, he doesn't care about you. Don't do something if you have any doubts. Remember, you won't regret waiting to do something sexual, but you may regret doing it to early.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Ok my boyfriend has a facebook and this girl brittni his cousin gets on it somtimes and i heard he has been asking a whole bunch of girls out over it but he says he isnt asking anyone out and brittni says she hasnt been on his facebook but i dont believe her but i dont know if i can believe him either. I asked his best friend to watch oout for him but idont know if im doing the right thing somweond please help Z:[ (link)
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Why don't you ask him to change his password so his cousin can't get on it anymore. If he really isn't the one asking these girls out, he shouldn't have a problem with it. Make sure you watch him change the password also.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I im 12 and i have all the symptoms that im gonna start my first period but i haven't! please help me. (link)
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You are still very young, don't worry about when you'll start it. I got when I was tweleve, almost thirteen. Some girls dont get it til they're 18!
All you can do is be prepared. Carry around a purse with pads/tampons in it for an unexpected start. If you feel like it may be coming soon, you can wear panty liners for a little protection until you get a heavy flow.
Talk to your mom or someone you trust about it. They can tell you its a natural thing that most women go through in their lives, and it's nothing to be afraid of.
Good luck,
-Abby
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16/f
so in your opinion, what are your opinions on whats considered too big for hs?
im not talking about weight since muscle always weighs more but please state sizes.
for guys: do you care about a girls size? do you like a certain size? (link)
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Sizes are subjective. First off, height can change how a size looks on a person A LOT. Second, different guys like different body types. Some guys like thin girls, some guys like athletic body types, and other guys like curvy girls. Take it from someone who has a bigg butt, you'll find plenty of guys who will enjoy it!
I think there is a clear line between average healthy weight, overweight, and obese. Striving for a healthy BMI is the most important thing you can do, and give yourself healthy foods. Numbers such as on the scale or on the tag of your dress don't matter. I can wear anywhere from size 3 to a size 8. The numbers don't mean much.
The average american woman is size 12-14! Don't stress about it. It may seem cliche, but if a guy doesn't like your body, he obviously isn't mature or open enough to get to know someone past physical qualities and have a real relationship.
In my opinion being overweight can be a jerk-repellent when it comes to dating! No one wants to deal with a superficial guy.
Work on being comfortable with your body, not size or weight. It would be impossible to let other people choose what size or shape we should be because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No such thing as perfect!
Good luck,
-Abby
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Well, I dont know if this works for every guy. But do most middle school/ high school normal guy do they care about what there girlfriend has as in do they care if they have big boobs or a nice butt or have it all and are skinny or do they care about the girls personallity? My family just tell me not to really worry about it but i would like to know. So from your experience what could you tell me should i not worry abou it or should i just see what guy i get.? Your advice would help alot thanks(: (link)
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For both girls and guys, a nice body may be what attracts you to another person initially, but is not the most important thing.
A guy usually won't date a girl if she has a terrible personality. Girls who are only pretty but have nothing to offer personality or commitment wise are typically 'hook ups' and not girlfriend material.
Would you want a boyfriend who was a jerk, or an airhead, or just really dull and all he had going for him was his looks? I guarantee you would get bored of him.
Don't worry so much about your body and focus on being you. Guys are attracted to eyes and a great smile and laugh. Show them your fun and flirty side!
And don't settle for the first guy who asks you out! You deserve the best, make sure you really like him.
Good luck,
-Abby
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OK Folks, here's the deal. I currently receive over $600 a month in social security benefits due to my disabilities with Autism and Scoliosis. I am still living at home with mom who has absolutely no income. I carry a job as well too, but of course it doesn't pay me enough. But anyways, I still live with mom who has absolutely no income which means that I have to pay all of the bills and as a result, usually I do not have any leftover money to spend. I recently had a discussion with my dad about some of the issues I've been going through and wanting to be on my own. He said if I lived with him that I wouldn't have to pay any rent to him, but I've also heard too that because of that statement and the fact that there's high income coming in from him and other people that live there, I would lose that SSD that I get every month. I can't really afford to lose it right now, I'm also about $7000 in credit card debt which I want to get paid off as quick as I can. My mom has applied for social security, they denied her, she went to an appeal at the end of the last month, but told her that it would take at least three more months for social security to make a decision in regards to whether she would receive benefits or not. She has major back problems and can't work because of that. We waited for a year and a half for the appeal to happen which it did. But anyways, it's a tough decision that I have to make because I really want to get on my own, get my debt paid off, go to school to study what I want and get a better job. I'm 24 years old. What do you all suggest I do? If I moved to my dad's, I wouldn't help my mom with financial stuff, but would help her with the physical stuff due to her back. (link)
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This is a hard decision to make that should involve careful consideration.
Find out for sure if you would lose the social security you're receiving. Talk to your dad about how much he could assist you financially and see if the money from your job can support you (and how stable is this job?)
It may be best to wait to hear about the results of your mothers appeal, but as a young man I think it's important you branch out on your own.
In my opinion, I think you should live with your dad and go to school. It may put you into more debt but there are many career opportunities that don't involve the typical 4-6 year schooling. You need to be independent yourself before you can completely support your mom.
And coming from someone who has scoliosis also, I'm curious to how that affects your job or life. I'm only 17 and I've just started a part time job, and all the time on my feet really hurts my back towards the end of the day.
Think about what is best for you and your family and just try to do your best. It's all you can do.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I dont have small lips, but they are on the thin side. I want to know a way to make them fuller and bigger without using botox(because theres no way i can get that without asking my mom) or implants(because thos look fake.
I heard face yoga helps, but im not sure what excercises to do and if they will be worth it.
Can anyone help me? (link)
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I haven't heard anything about face yoga,but that sounds doubtful to me.
Your best bet would be lip plumping gloss or serum. You can get that cheap at the drugstore or invest more for a pricier brand.
Sephora always lets users review so you can get honest opinions before spending money.
http://www.sephora.com/search/search_results.jhtml;jsessionid=32EYA4WBDKJYICV0KQNRPIQ?command=text&attr1=lip+plumper&attr2=&%2Fcom%2Flvmh%2Fcommerce%2Fcatalog%2Fsearch%2Fiphrase%2Fproxy%2FIPhraseSearchFormHandler.search=search&_D%3A%2Fcom%2Flvmh%2Fcommerce%2Fcatalog%2Fsearch%2Fiphrase%2Fproxy%2FIPhraseSearchFormHandler.search=+&searchString=lip+plumper&_DARGS=%2Fincludes%2FsearchFinder.jhtml
Here are some drugstore brands:
http://www.walgreens.com/search/results.jsp?Ntt=lip+plumper
I suggest going to a drugstore near you (if you want to go the cheaper route) and seeing what brands they have, and doing some internet research, and then making a purchase.
The most dramatic results will only come from implants or what is more commonly used, collagen injections. Play around with glosses and serums for now and one day if your still unsatisfied with your lips you can think about going to more drastic measures to get fuller lips. And remember, we usually see our own flaws 10x worse then anyone else would. Don't stress about the little things! You're beautiful the way you are, full lips or not.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Alright, I put this in the category mainly because it is dealing with the health of your mental thoughts and feelings. I have been a fan of All Time Low for quite a while now, maybe 3 years. I have known for again, quite a while about Alex's brother. I have seen that Alex does sing Lullabies live sometimes and yes, he gets emotional, if he didn't, I would think something is wrong. But most people comment "I really wish he would show his real emotions. He tries to hide them so much by laughing and joking around. A defense mechanism." I have come to realize, I do this too. My great grandmother had passed 2 years ago and yet I miss her so dearly, I am not one to cry only when things get super messy, my mom says I am like a guy when it comes to feelings. But at her funeral, I could feel my tears coming and I didn't want to cry, I thought I shouldn't, so to hide them, I laughed at things and joked around. I thought it was normal, but by the comments people are leaving about Alex, they're making it sound like it's wrong to do that. To show emotions is the best thing to do. I was just wondering, do you do this too? Or do you let your emotions lay out on the table? (link)
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Everyone has different ways of coping with their emotions. Many people use humor as a way of coping, distracting themself from the pain, or hiding their vulnerability. Humor can actually help you move on from the pain. The important thing is to understand how you feel and learn how to grieve so you aren't just pushing your feelings away.
Using humor may not be the most respectful thing to do at a funeral because it may make you seem insensitive.
You don't have to be an open book, but releasing your emotions to one trusted person or into something creative like a journal, music, art work, etc. will help you cope and keep from feeling overwhelemed.
Good luck,
-Abby
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ok so this is sooo embarrigin = [ so i dont wan to become sexualy active becuzse i have a frckle down there... is that normal i know this is probably so funny but its really embarring and im afraid the guy wont like me or he will be disgusted becuz of it ... = [
helllp (link)
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I have two down there! And honestly, when your in the heat of the moment, your partner wont notice. It's nothing to be embarassed about!
Just take your time and make sure when you do decide to have sex, it's with the right person and your ready. Everything else will fall into place.
-Abby
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How can I makeover myself before school starts. I'm already working on losing weight but what else can I do? I want to turn people heads at school in September. (link)
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A new hairstyle is a great idea. Even a new hair color. I'd try highlights if you aren't sure but if you're really daring you could go red or blonde.
Make up can work wonders so I suggest doing something to play up your eyes.
Blue eyes? Brown and smokey gold eye shadow will really bring them out.
Green eyes? Purples like violet and plum will bring them out.
Brown eyes? Rich earthy tones like dark greens, beiges, golds etc.
Experiment with back to school make up before the day of and if you really need help try going to a make up counter and they'll show you how to apply it.
Do you tan naturally? Showing up with a great tan makes everyone look better, but I'm naturally pale so I use bronzer and sometimes tanning lotion to acheive this. If you've never used tanning lotion before I would be careful because some brands can look orange or streaky.
I'm using crest white strips and a bright smile looks great especially with a tan.
A cute outfit will definitely turn heads as well. Something flattering and a little trendy. Forever 21 has great cheap stuff and if you really want to turn heads I'd go for a push up bra. I consider them a girl's best friend ;P
But the best way to turn heads is have a great attitude. Being friendly and meeting new people at school and showing them your great personality will make them want to get to know you more. The superficial stuff is fun but not nearly as important.
Good luck and have fun!
-Abby
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I have been having my period for like 2 years now and I always use pads. My best friend is really pressuring me to wear tampons so we can go swimming next week but I'm afraid to. I really just don't want to do it. I've read things like it can hurt and I really don't want my vagina parts to hurt because I put a tampon in during my period. Im happy with using pads. Is that normal to be afraid to use tampons? (link)
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First off, don't let your friend pressure you into anything. It's a personal decision and it should be whatever you are comfortable with.
Coming from experience, I had a lot of trouble first using tampons. Most girls start off that way. But now that I use them regularly I couldn't imagine going back to pads. They are so much more comfortable.
Honestly the first time using one it did hurt but it gets better after practice and if you're willing to deal with that it may be worth it. I've read that you can use petroleum jelly or insert for the first time in the bathtub to make it easier to go in, or lying down on my bed worked for me.
Follow instructions and give it a shot if you're ready. You can always go back to using pads if you don't like it. But I reccommend trying more then once because you will get used to it.
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/azhealthtopics/ht/How_Insert_Tamp.htm
Good luck!
-Abby
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When waz ur first kiss? (link)
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I was 16 and it was at my Jr. Prom (super late, I know!) I was shy with guys but I started dancing with one whom I never even talked to and one thing let to another and we kissed on the dance floor. It was pretty amazing for a first kiss since it was in the mood and at a beautiful place on a special night, a little fairy tale ish haha. But afterwards I realized I didn't like him and we fizzled out. What I've come to realize is you can't try to make a kiss or a relationship happen, otherwise it will be forced. These things happen when we least expect it. Don't worry about it and it will happen naturally.
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Ok, Perez Hilton had posted a new photo of Miley Cyrus. It was of her getting out of a convertible in a short white dress. Well, I totally twitter follow Perez Hilton (love my celebrity gossip) and I did see the photo.
It's been taken down now and I just read a news article that said it may be considered child pornography. I think Miley Cyrus is like 16 or 17 though so I guess she is underage for that sort of thing. She wasn't like posing or anything. It was just a shot of her getting out of the vehicle with no panties on. It was her mistake and ANYBODY could have saw it.
I don't want to get in trouble though because I DID see it. I looked at the photo on my personal computer right here at home. Am I going to get in trouble? Is it considered illegal? Can I clean it off of my computer so nobody knows I did see it? He didn't say it was going to be her nude when I clicked on the link.
It said, specifically:
"
If you are easily offended, do NOT click here [URL] Oh, Miley! Warning: truly not for the easily offended!
"
So, it's not like I knew, right?! (link)
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You wont get in trouble for looking at it, its not like anyone is monitoring your computer and it isn't harcore child pornography. Perez Hilton is a highly visited website and not known for being a pornography center. He could get in trouble for that, however, which is probably why it's been taken down.
-Abby
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Hi im male ive just turned 15 and well i think im gay im really attracted to guys i keep staring at them ive looked at pictures of naked guys and it turns me on ive had these feelings for some time now and i havent told anyone about it yet is this normal at my age? also i really like a guy were friends we hang out a lot together ive had feelings for him for awhile but im too nervous to tell him im not sure what to do i dont know if hes gay do i talk to him or flirt a little what do i do? (link)
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Thanks for asking me your question =]
You're in puberty, it is completely normal to question your sexuality and feel things you never felt before. Take the time to explore and see what you like. You may find that you lean towards men more than women or that you find both sexes attractive.
As for this guy friend, I would try flirting with him a little bit and see how he responds. Don't risk your friendship by coming on to strong. You could casually ask about his past 'girlfriends' and see if he mentions anything about being gay. Just take your time to figure things out and if you two are meant to be, things will fall into place.
Good luck,
-Abby
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i cant find a skirt like this
http://oceanup.com/photogallery?nid=11937&fid=66470
also if you can think of anywhere i can buy a shirt similar to that, let me know! my only criteria is that the skirt is under $40 and the shirt is fairly inexpensive too (link)
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http://www.express.com/flat-pleat-mini-skirt-24264-23.pro?user_att_value=Email&user_att_name=Interest&Mppg=0&Mcatpn=category&Mpper=3&Mcatp=cat_2&Mcat=23&Mrsaa=*&Mpos=37&Mcatn=Skirts&Mpg=SEARCH%2BNAV&Mrsavf=*
That skirt is the best match for your price range, but check out their other stuff, it's really cute. You can probably find the top at express too, or forever 21, charlotte russe, or stores like Ross and TJ Maxx.
Good luck!
-Abby
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