i went to a house party where i met this lad that i thought was hot.well we started getting with each other&we are now always with each other.he calls me his girlfriend&we class each other as going out&i really like him.but he already has a girlfriend.she dont know about me&that he is cheating on her with me.she is 3 months pregnant& he tells me he isn't going to leave her cause he dont want to lose the baby.i dont know what to do.he says he loves me&doesnt want to lose me but he also doesnt want to lose his girlfriend.am i doing the right thing staying with him being his affair?
Of course you're not doing the right thing. Not only are you being the 'other' girl, but you're being the 'other' girl to a guy that's about to be a daddy.
Look at it this way: Where do you see your relationship going? Are you just going to hang around until the baby's born? What about after that? Are you going to hang out with him in the time that he's not with his child and girlfriend. There is no off time when you're the parent of a baby.
He has made it very clear to you that he doesn't want to break up with his girlfriend and that he simply is not going to.
Do you not feel like you deserve someone better than that? Don't you think that you deserve someone 100% devoted to you?
For your sake, his girlfriend's sake, and his child's sake- get out of this relationship.
It's the wrong thing to do, and you know that. If you didn't know that, the question would not have even come to your mind.
Get yourself someone that appreciates you enough to not have another girlfriend. Don't be back burner girl. Find someone committed to you, that loves you and no one else.
Of course, he's just as much to blame as you, but that isn't your concern. Just get out of his life, his girlfriend's life, and his baby's life. Even if his girlfriend doesn't know right now, she is sure to find out sooner or later. And since there is a baby involved, her anger level will be triple what it would be if it was just a relationship.
Darby(:
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Ok, rhis is sort of personal, but you know how when girls 'mature' they get vegina hair? Well, when you're going to have sex do you shave it or what? Plz help!
~Angela
That's more of a personal preference. It's really between you and your partner. If the person you're going to have sex with doesn't like it at all, you might want to shave up a bit. If you don't like it, you can shave it. If you don't mind it, just let it grow.
Darby(:
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19/f. So I have this amazing fiance whom I love very much, and the possibility of being pregnant with his kid. We've been together for almost two years, and planning a wedding.
Well like a week ago, we brokeup because we got into a huge argument. He broke my heart badly and felt that I should move on. Well I put up an ad on Craigslist about me wanting a relationship. I ended up getting 5 valid responses from guys saying how cute I am and such. Well I got to know them all a little bit. Then suddenly my ex-fiance came around to apoligize and he treated me to the movies, and begged for me back. So I accepted happily.
Now the problem is, I have these 5 guys wanting to go out with me. I don't know how to tell them I am going back out with my fiance. Like they LIKE me. I still want to stay good friends with them, yet I already know it'll break their heart.
So as a note, don't tell me I shouldn't of went to Craigslist in the first place. I think I already know what I've done. I am asking is, how can I break the news to them?
And I am faithful!! I never cheated and never will.
Thanks
It's best to just be up front with them. Since you haven't even went on one date with any of them, just tell them what's up. They can't be that angry about it. Just tell them that you have a great relationship with him and possibly a kid coming. Let them know that you'd still like to be friends with them though.
There's no tiptoeing around this one. You have to just be straightforward and honest with them. Let them know that you guys did get into a bad fight, but you talked things out and worked through it. If they're worth having as friends, they won't be too angry. They'll probably just be a little disappointed at first, then they'll move forward with things and hopefully still be your friend.
Darby(:
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F/18
So, I work with this guy. We've worked together for quite sometime and for the past two or so months I've had a ginormous crush on him. Lately, we've neem flirting more than usual. (E.g., now we play fight in lobby, he puts his arm around my shoulder, he plays with my hair, sticks out his tongue at me, etc.) So, seeing as I'm afraid to tell him I like him.. I don't know what to do. I don't want to jump to conclusions and just assume he likes me. So, I'm looking for another opinion.
That's where you come in.
Please and thanks. :)
Well, it sounds to me like he likes you. You should try to get his number somehow, if you don't already have it. Mention that you're a texting freak. If he says, "Yeah, me too" say, "We should text sometime." A fairly easy way to get a guys number.
If you get the number, send him a quick text some time. Just 'hey, it's (insert your name here)' or 'sup, it's (name here)' If you make it to where you're available to talk to him any time outside of work, you'll probably get to know him better.
Once you talk to him for a little while outside of work, say something casual like 'I'm really wanting to see (insert movie title here)' That will be a hint to him that he should ask you to go with him. If he says that he wants to see it too, say 'Sweet, we should go together?' It's quick, it's easy and it's hard to deny. It's so casual, it would be weird to say no to that.
Hopefully he'll pick up on some of this while you guys are getting to know each other better via phone. It's great to flirt at work, but even better when you have no customers to tend to. If you already have his number and do text him, then try the 'I really wanna see (movie name)' thing. You just have to be calm and casual about it. It doesn't have to be a huge confession of how much you're into him.
Darby(:
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I dont have a job yet so one time my mom and I went into the grocery store with her boyfriend and I went in to buy a nexus straightener that costed like 7 dollars. But her boyfriend paid it. So after like 1 week my aunt gave me a 20 dollar allowance so I told my mom hey I am going to give back that 6 dollars he paid. Then she thought my intent was that once again I have a problem with him. That really was not my intent at all. My view is that I just pay it back cause he bought it for me when I should have paid it myself or it was my mom mom that should have paid it. She got all mad at me and yelling at me like she was scolding me for doing something wrong. I think both of them are trying to hurt me. What was offensive to what I had said. I wasn't trying to make anything out of it. They all make me sick to be acting to me that way. Do you think that they are right most of the time her boyfriend makes me feel as if I am being judge based on ideas about me that he heard from someone or he formed.
It sounds like your mother just overreacted and took it the wrong way. There are two sides to every story. I'm sure if we asked her about she would say something along the lines of, "Well, (Insert your name here) is always trying to make sure (Insert her boyfriend's name here) doesn't help her at all. She won't let him do anything for her and it creates tension." Something like that. It sounds like he was trying to give you something and you were trying to make it not seem like that. It's weird because I understand where you're coming from and it's mature to do that.
I think they're seeing it as a different situation. Here's an example: It would be like if your aunt bought you a 6 dollar lunch and the second you got money, you decided to pay her back for that. It's like you're keeping a tally in your mind and making sure that he doesn't do anything helpful for you.
The thing, if it were something more expensive, it would be more reasonable for you to do that. But since it was something that was so cheap and it wasn't like "Oh, just pay me back when you get the money", it sounds like you're trying to make sure that he's not doing anything good for you.
I know that's not the situation. You were just trying to be mature and do the right thing. You don't like accepting gifts when you have the money yourself a week later. That's totally understandable. Your mother should be happy that you're mature enough to do that because most teens would just be like, "K, sweet!" and not bother paying anything back.
Your mother is probably seeing it as a way for you to not let her boyfriend in your life as a helpful figure.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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My grades this year have completely gone downhill- its my first year not getting all A's, and now I'm concerned with failing 3 of my classes. My parents always complain how they hate when teachers blame poor test grades on students with "ADD" or "Test Anxieties" as they think they're are excuses. I truly feel I have test anxiety and I have done quite a bit of research on it. (My grades on homework, classwork, and projects are typically 100s while my test grades are failing) I have no idea how to bring this up to my parents with out getting laughed at. Help, please.
You're going to have to get your proof gathered. Get a stack of homework with high scores and your stack of low-scoring tests. Explain to them that this is serious to you because you're failing a few of your classes now. Let them know that you know they don't believe in test anxiety. Tell them how you feel just before and while taking a test. They're going to have to take it seriously when they see that you're failing because of it. I doubt they'll laugh when they understand the seriousness of the situation to you.
In the meantime, here are a few sites to help you deal with your stress anxiety:
http://wc.pima.edu/~carem/TESTTIPS.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_4475832_overcome-test-anxiety.html
http://news.everest.edu/post/2008/06/test-anxiety
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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Last month i didn't have a period. I took a pregnacy test 2 days later and it said "negative". I waited and a couple days later i still hadn't started so I took another test. And again, it said "negative". Still to this day I haven't had my period. Is it normal to skip a period and not be pregnant?
Sometimes girls skip periods when they're stressed out. The last time I moved I was really stressed out and totally skipped that month. Then the next month, I was later than my normal cycle too. It just completely got off wack. It could also be an issue with hormones. If you just got off or on birth control, that could be another cause. Weight fluctuations are also a common cause.
It could really be a lot of things. It's not that uncommon to skip it every once in a while. You've taken two negative tests, so you're probably not pregnant. You'll most likely continue your cycle this month.
Darby(:
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i went to the bathroom and saw blood in the toilet when i was ready to flush. i thought i was on my period when i realized that the blood was in my feces. is this an illness?
There could be many causes of this. The most common cause of blood in the stool is hemorrhoids. But if you were constipated and had to push hard when you were going to the bathroom, you might have just torn a little because you were trying to go so hard. As I said, there could be a lot of causes. If it continues to happen, make an appointment with your doctor and tell him what's up.
Darby(:
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so ive been having a feeling me and my boyfriend are gonna break up because, we're getting into alot of fights about him flirting with other girls. ive caught him about 5 times flirting & ive caught him staring at my 2 friend's (he was staring at their ass) ive heard alot of rumors that he likes 1 of them but he denies it. so idk who to believe my friends or him. so technically i need adive about: is this like signs off us breaking up? im 13 &+ my boyfriend is 14
It depends how much his flirting bothers you. You've caught him flirting 5 times, is that enough to make you break up with him? If so, then yes, I'm sure you guys will break up. If he's hitting on other girls (especially your friends) that's grounds for a breakup in my eyes. I know if my bf his on my friends I would throw the towel in so fast his head would spin. I definitely don't like guys that are very flirtatious. I don't like it 100% more if he's flirtatious with my friends.
As far as whether or not your friends are lying, why would they? You caught him staring at your friends. So why wouldn't you believe that he likes them? If there's rumors flying, they're probably flying for a reason. Rumors aren't always 100% true, but there's usually some root from which they started that it somewhat true.
If I were you, I would probably get out of this relationship. This guy would be on thin ice with me. If you want to give him one more chance, make sure he knows that he is getting one more chance. Let him know that if you catch him flirting with any more girls, it's over. And make sure you follow through. If he really cares about you, he will comply with no argument.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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What it do! Ma boyfriend lives in Texas and I live in Louisiana. I'm trippin' cause he still talk about his ex-girlfriend. he not cheatin' on me though cause she live down in the n.o. too. can you cheat ova the phone?
Well, it's possible that he could have an 'emotional affair'. One that involves no physical intimacy. He could talk to another girl over the phone the way you guys talk over the phone. You should confront him about talking about his ex. That's a major turnoff to me. It shows that a guy's not ready to move forward with his love life. Depending on how he's talking about her, of course. If he's just passively mentioning things that happened while they were dating, and the conversation is centered around your guys' exes, then it's reasonable. But if he's always just bringing her up out of nowhere, you definitely have a right to be suspicious. Ask this guy what's up.
Darby(:
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Hey,
18/female
I really, really like this guy. No, this isn't one of those "do you think he likes me back" questions. Anyways, two of my friends told me that they heard he is a "bad guy" and he just likes to sleep around and can be rude to girls. But he is never rude to me. He says the sweetest things, does the sweetest things and he's just so sweet. For example, we were talking a walk one night and there was this huge puddle of water. I'm talking huge. Like I would of had to jump across it. So, what does he do? He picks me up and carries me across the water. I was in heaven. Anyways, my friends heard that he is bad news and just wants 'sexual relationships' but he never pressures me or tries to do anything sexual with me. If he wants to go further, take it to the next level he'll ask and if I say no he won't ask any questions.
I have a good head on my shoulders and I know how to say no to guys. I've been hurt in the past and I like to take things slow and not rush into anything too sexual right away.
So I guess what I'm asking is should I continue hanging out with him/talking with him and see for myself? I feel like in life you need to take chances. I don't want to look back and say wonder "what if?" But I also don't want to get hurt.
That's just his reputation according to people that don't really know him. A guy could sleep with a couple girls in his entire life and all of a sudden people are saying he's a manwhore and only wants sex. The same goes for girls. They can sleep with a couple guys and suddenly they're sluts or trash. It's ridiculous.
You definitely need to see for yourself. He's already proven himself sweet and understanding to you. He's okay with you not wanting to go further sexually until you're ready. That's a good sign that he's not a 'bad' guy.
As long as you're comfortable with him and he's not being a jerk or pressuring you to do anything, keep hanging out with him. Your friends don't hang out with him and talk to him in private like you do (hopefully, ha). They don't really know what this guy is about. They just know what rumors they've heard. The rumors could have easily been spread by an angry ex girlfriend or something of the sort. You can never trust what people are saying, it's best to take chances, but still watch your back.
Darby(:
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well im 15 and 5'9 .. i am skinny, but have a tiny pooch, and i have big hips so i have little love handles, also i have big ribs so i cant be as skinny as i want because im built big, but does anyone have any tips on how i can have tight abs and get rid of my tiny lovehandles?
To tighten up your abs, do abdominal exercise, like sit-ups. To get rid of your love handles, try pilates or yoga. They're relaxing and their is a lot of stretching and bending that will work out that specific area. Foremost, maintain a healthy diet and drink plenty of water.
Here are some websites to check out:
Getting rid of love handles:
http://www.flat-stomach-exercises.com/love-handles.html
http://www.getridofthings.com/get-rid-of-love-handles.htm
Getting tighter abs:
http://www.meltofftheinches.com/a/free_abdominalworkouts.shtml
http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Sit-Ups
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i started smoking a year ago. recently, whenever my boyfriend lights up a cigarette or i smoke a cigarette, it smells really funny/weird and i start feeling nauseous. and also my boyfriend smokes a lot in his room, and if i stay in there too long i get a headache. this started happening about 4 or 5 days ago, and its really confusing me. does anyone know what is wrong?
First of all, could you be pregnant? If so, that's a possibility as to why this suddenly started.
If you're sure there is no way you could be pregnant, did you guys recently switch brands?
If you're still smoking the same brand, the only thing that I can think of is that you're pregnant. Since it's been happening less than a week, maybe you're just getting sick? Do you feel nauseous at any other time?
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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for about two months now my boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot. well, not really fighting, like throwing things at eachother or screaming. its more of where one of us gets annoyed with the other and we just sit there, silently being pissed. eventually one of us breaks the ice, most of the time its him. im a lot more hardheaded.
and most of the time, its me being mad at him. im a very depressed person, and he'll always ask me whats wrong or if im ok. it gets really really annoying and thats when the cold shoulder starts up. even when nothing is wrong with me, or im kinda quiet, he'll keep asking over and over and over if im ok!! and then ill start being mean and he'll get pissed, and its a really vicious cycle and im tired of it.
well, tonight i was feeling really sick, and he asked me if i was ok and i told him i felt sick. and 10 minutes later, he asks me if something is wrong. again, i tell him i feel sick. then he asks me a third time and i sort of yell "I FEEL SICK". then im pissed at him and i guess he just blows it. he was in a really bad mood and cussing and screaming at everyone, except me. i had no idea this was going on until his mom told me he was being pissy and asked me if we were in a fight. i went up and asked him what his problem was and he said he didnt have a problem. then i told him that was a load of bullcrap, and he said something smartass, pissed me off, and so i walked home. his mom and brother picked me up on the side of the road and drove me most of the way, but this is getting rediculous.
how can i stop these hateful fights?? i dont want to lose him, but i honestly dont know if hes willing to try anymore or not. even his mom tried to convince me to dump him, but hes not a bad person. hes a wonderful boyfriend, its just sometimes we get annoyed with eachother. most of the time, we're like those sickening couples on those teen drama movies. we both have such short tempers and i dont know how to make it work.
It doesn't sound like he's doing much wrong. It sounds like he's asking you what's wrong, you're saying 'nothing' or 'i'm sick', and he's thinking it's more than that, so he's continuing to ask. He sounds like a good boyfriend, minus the short fuse, at least it's not aimed at you though. It sounds like he's just trying to get to the bottom of what's wrong. You get mad because he's repeatedly asking the same questions, then he's getting mad because he's just trying to help.
You guys just need to have a talk about it. Explain to him that when you say nothing's wrong or that you're sick, you mean just that. Tell him that you'll let him know if something more than that is wrong. Explain to him that it gets on your nerves when he keeps asking you what's wrong; especially when there really is nothing wrong. Let him know that you're not wanting to break up, but that if you guys don't start getting along better, that will be the only option.
On your end, try to speak with a little more detail. You mentioned that you're a very depressed person. I really think you're just seeming depressed to him, and he's trying to help, but is going about it the wrong way. You could help the situation 100% by being more specific than 'nothing' or 'i feel sick'.
Instead of that say, "Actually nothing's wrong. I had a pretty good day. How are you doing?" or "I have a headache and I've been feeling a little feverish. I think I might just be tired." By elaborating, he will be more assured that you really are okay and will feel like he has less of a reason to keep worrying about you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Female.
So me and my boyfriend of 3 months broke up two weeks ago because he lied a lot and was just constantly drama. A couple days after that he was telling me he still loved me and wanted to get back together and he was depressed and missed me and i told him we needed to focus on moving on. So it took a couple days, but we decided we could be friends. So on the 5ht day after we broke up he told one of his friends he wanted me to die, that i was a bitch, and he hated me for ruining our relationship.
He acted like he didnt care about me in front of everybody and didn't even talk to me; which was fine because i quit texting him and talking to him also. But then he started sending me messages saything that he missed me and he was hiding his feelings at school but he still loved me and wanted me back. So a week and a half after we broke up, he started bringing pictures to school of this other girl. He said it was his girlfriend and that he was going to sneak her over to his house and spend some time together. This was only a week and half after we broke up. So i sent him a message saying, "Wow, you moved on fast!" He sent me one back saying he hadn't moved on, he just got a girlfriend to get over me.He said he still loved me and anytime i wanted him, he would drop his girlfriend and date me again.
Well i told him that i would never want to date him again and that i would never need him. Then he got really mad and told me not to talk to him anymore. But after that he kept sending me messages saying sorry and he wanted to talk to me but i ignored them all. I ignored him at school even when he wore a sign on his back that said "i have a hot ass girlfriend." But he would still send me messages saying i am gonna break up with her because it is to hard on me. I still love you so much.
So, i went out to the movies with two of my friends and he was there with his girlfriend and my mouth dropped open. So he mocked me when i did that. He got the satisfaction that he wanted. All of my friends that he had talked to say that he is only going out with her to make me mad and jealous. So when my mouth dropped open, and he mocked me doing it, he got the pleasure of knowing that i was jealous and suprised. Because, he told me he was breaking up with her. So he sends me a message right after i see him saying "Sorry you had to see that." I texted back and said "Aww, yall are so cute!" Then he said "Thanks, you looked really good, and please text me and not be mad." I said, "Well i told you to move on so i am not mad."
We were really close as a copule and thats why i am so shocked to see that he was with another girl only a week and a half after we broke up. The first few days after we broke up, he would send me voicemails crying and would be very depressed. But then this happens. At school, he acts like he dosen't care and dosen't talk to me. But after school, it's a different story.
So after tonight, he saw that i was jealous. I try eveyday to act like i don't care and get on with my life. But it is SO HARD. I always find myself looking at him wondering how he could get a girlfriend so quick but at the same time, texting me and telling me he hasn't moved on. And he told me he was going to break up with her but he never did. So now, i don't know how to act. I always act like i don't care but it was so satisfying for him letting me see him with his new girlfriend. I am not texting him anymore and i don't want him to think i care. If he loves me why would he be with her even if he is trying to make me jealous? I am confused. Please let me know what to do. Thanks!
You've made a good decision by not falling for his tricks and texting him a lot. But you really need to cut off communication altogether. From what you've said, he sounds very immature. By wearing a sign on his back talking about his girlfriend, he's proving what an immature little twirp he is.
I think he's lying to everyone involved. He's lying to himself, you, the people at school, and his new girlfriend. I think what is probably happening is that at school, he's around people and feeling fine. He then goes home, starts thinking, misses you, calls/texts you whining about how much he loves you.
You're absolutely right. If he loved you, he would no being dating another girl so quickly just to make you jealous. I very seriously doubt he's dating this girl to make you jealous. It sounds to me like he's just trying to move on too quickly. He's with another girl even though he's not fully over you.
Either way, you deserve much better. The plus side to this is that school should be over soon for the summer. When school is over, you won't have to see him at all. Unless, of course, you run into him like you did tonight (ouch). He's not being a good boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/friend, whatever. He's just causing pain and doing it flagrantly.
Try your best to steer clear of him. Don't respond to e-mails/calls/texts/messages/voicemails. Any form of communication he throws at you should be ignored. That's the only way to show him that he's not going to get away with telling you one thing and doing another. It also will be the easiest way for you to move on from him.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Hey guys. Brace yourselves this is really long. I am 14/f, 15 in June, a freshman in high school, and SOOO confused. Well I am a nerd. I've had this MAJOR crush on a dude; lets call him HM, ever since the first day of high school, and HM's WAY higher up on the social status bar than I am. In fact, he's the most popular guy in the whole dang school. He turned seventeen on the 15th of May, and he's a junior. Anyways, he's SO hott, and funny, and muscular, and tall, nice and… Well I'm getting carried away sorry, heh. So, about two months or so ago, he came up to me one day and started "flirting" with me to see what I would do. His flirting with me is obviously a joke, so don’t worry, I don't have my hopes up on this. Well, I gave him this horrified/surprised look, and my face got REALLY red. And then, it began. Now, what I mean by fake flirting is he will do all sorts of things just for me to give him that look, and his attempts get more extreme as time goes on. For example, when he first started, it was only sexy looks across the classroom at me. That went on for a while until he would then mouth "I love you", then in the hallways with his friends he would say, "You see that girl right there? Yeah, that's my baby." Then (We both have the same lunch) this one time about a month ago at lunch, one of his friends came over to where my nerd friends and I were sitting at lunch, sat next to me and put his arm around me. HM came storming over and said, “HEY, what are you doing with my girl?!” His friend said “YOU’RE girl?” Then suddenly HM and his friend had this fake fight. One of his friends tied his shoelaces in a loop, put it around my neck and said “A token of my love!” HM came over, took it off and said “Get that piece of filth off my woman!” He’s been doing this at least three times a week. Once in the only class I have with him, he grabbed my hand, and once… He hugged me. I know these things are only jokes, but I’ve been noticing things lately. Like when he doesn’t do his “Routine”, out of the corner of my eye I can see him staring at me, and not in a joking way, either. Believe me, I can tell the difference. I was once walking, and he and one of his friends were behind me. His friend said “Stupid freshman…” HM said angrily “Dude SHUT UP.” So, what’s going on? A nickname my friends and I made up for love is “Diggin’ someone’s trousers.” I definitely dig his. But the question is… Are my trousers starting to catch his eye, if you know what I mean? Thanks~!
I wouldn't assume that he's just joking if I were you. If he is joking, that's a very long, elaborate joke. Who would put that much effort into it? Guys can be immature, but I doubt he would try so hard to just get his kicks.
If you have Facebook or MySpace, you should find his page and add it if you haven't already. That leaves an open communication where you can contact him at any time, and he can contact you at any time. If you haven't added him, do so. When he accepts, throw him a quick message or comment. Something simple like 'sup' 'yo' 'hey', whatever your style is.
If you start talking to him online, you will be able to get to know him better and possibly be able to figure out what his deal is. If he doesn't respond to your message or comment, you can assume he's just being a jerk. But hopefully he would have the decency to reply back.
It sounds to me like he may be 'diggin' your trousers' (ha:D), but the only way to be sure is to talk to him more, outside of school. Summer break is coming up so you won't have the problem of talking to him online, then having awkward exchanges at school.
Good luck
Darby(:
EDIT:
In response to your questions (I can't message you back privately, ha)
It wouldn't seem pushy at all. It would show that you're interested in being his friend(: And it has been a while since he's been online. But even if he only gets on once in a while, he'll see it the next time he's on. Maybe he only gets on a couple times a month? Either way, I would still add him. Even if he's hardly on, what's to lose? He might not even see it, and if he does, he'll add you(:
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this guy that i like asked me to tell him how would he say that a girl is attractive in spanish since im puerto rican and i can speak both languages i dont know if he was being flirty or just being nice buti like him alot BUT I have my doubts if he feels the same way hes my dentist but now he just wants to have conversations in spanish. after were done he toches my shoulder we seem to have alot of eye contact but it did really keep me thinking why did he ask me what was the proper way to say that a woman is attractive but he ask me that in spanish i was thinking maybe he was trying to tell me that im attractive but not directly and his helper was there and she asked me are you guys talking about me but she was kinda laughing and i said no but he didnt even tell her what he had asked me in spanish i have a strong feeling he likes me but i still have some doubts i dont know if its becuase he my dentist or what im really confused!
How old are you? If you're a minor, he's probably just being friendly. Either way, you're only going to see him every 6 months (if your teeth are fine). I wouldn't put too much thought into it unless you're around the same age. But the only way you would see him is if you went to his office and that would be awkward if you were just going there to see him. I'm not sure why he asked you what it would be in spanish if he were to say a girl was attractive. If you had told him and he repeated it back to you, I would think he probably liked you.
Darby(:
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I have bad bad bad anxiety. I get really, abnormally nervous about everything I do. I'm almost eighteen years old and I've never had a job and I don't even have my license yet. I'm always having panic attacks and I even freak out about hanging out with my own friends. I tend to avoid social situations all the time. So my question is, will this ever go away? It just seems like it's getting worse. People that know what they're talking about and have been through this only answer please. I'm just scared it will keep getting worse and I'll turn into one of those people who never leaves the house.
I've had a lot of experience with this and even ended up going to therapy. They tried to get me to take anti-anxiety meds, but I wouldn't for fear that I would have to take them my entire life. I was only sixteen at the time and didn't want to depend on meds so early in life. My therapist told me that they can give you the meds during therapy while they teach you how to handle things on your own. Then, once you've completed therapy, you can be weaned off of the meds. If you're okay with take medication for a while, that might be an option to consider.
I could really go on forever about this subject. But I'll keep it brief. I got over my anxiety by totally re-routing the way I thought. I had such a negative outlook that I made it impossible for myself to not get anxiety. I got stomach ulcers and everything because I made myself so anxious and nervous all the time.
I would always say to myself, "No, you can't go to the movie with your friends. You'll get too anxious. You'll end up having a panic attack or throwing up in the middle of the theater." I would start thinking these things to myself days before the day I was supposed to go out. By the time the day got there that I was to go see a movie, I would have psyched myself out of going completely.
I used cognitive thinking to get over it. If someone asked me on Monday if I could go out on Friday, I would start telling myself "Yes, you're going to go out. You're going to have a good time and everything is going to be okay." I would tell myself every day. Every time the subject was brought up or popped up in my head, I would keep telling myself that everything would be perfectly fine.
At first, it didn't have much effect and I was cursing my therapist for thinking it could possibly work. But once I really committed and stuck with it for a while, it started working. I honestly can't tell you how long it took because one day I was getting ready to go out with my friends and I just stopped and thought to myself, "Wow. I've known that we were going out tonight for 5 days and I haven't thought about it once. I haven't thought about bad things that might happen or anything." Then I just continued getting ready and left.
Ever since then, it's been the same way. I never even think about staying in due to nerves anymore. It's all about retraining your thought processes. It's hard to do, but it really works. I got a workbook about getting over panic attacks and anxiety while I was changing my ways of thinking. it had questions and you would just fill in the lines provided. For some reason, it really helped me. It sorta put it into a different perspective. To see it written down made me realize what was going on. It also offers insight as to how many people have anxiety.
The workbook is called: Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick and it's written by Dr. David Carbonell
Here it is on Amazon if you think you may want to buy it. It's only 12 bucks and it works wonders; just read the reviews.
http://www.amazon.com/Panic-Attacks-Workbook-Program-Beating/dp/1569754152/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242982467&sr=1-1
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Has anyone tried to do these sruveys where you get paid to do them. I live in a small town now and it is a little combersome to get a new job that is close to home. I would enjoy working from home and I have all day to be on the computer so I wouldn't mind doing the surveys. Has anyone successfully done it and gotten a check? Do you know a good company?
Thank you
This sounds like the perfect job, but is very rare to come by. I've never seen one that wasn't a scam. I know there are a couple, but I'm sure you have to apply and different things like that. I doubt you could just Google it and come up with responses that weren't scams. I saw an episode of Judge Judy yesterday (lame, I know) and there was a guy on there getting sued because he fell for one of the online survey job scams. They sent him a check in the mail but it wasn't a real check. He got in trouble somehow because the check was fraud.
Just be careful with what sites you trust. If you could really easily get paid for doing online surveys, I'm sure everyone would be doing them in their spare time online.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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My friend, C, and I met about 10 years ago. She was 4, and I was 6. But that didn't stop us from becoming best friends! We spent everyday together, told eachother secrets, played imaginary games, rode our bikes everywhere, and never even got sick of eachother. Not for a second.
Well, now we're both in our teens and going through normal teen stuff. She just graduated junior high and I'm going into my junior year of highschool. We don't go to the same school, but I know she's popluar. She mostly hangs out with two main girls; N and M. I mostly hang out with my boyfriend of five months, S. C has met S, and they get along really well. We hang out a lot, and she even brought M to his house once, and we just chilled. It was very fun.
But about 6 or 7 months ago, she stopped coming over to my house much. Like, if I ever want to hang out with her, I have to walk to her house and ask her, on the offchance that she's actually there, considering she's always with N or M. Now, every once in a while, she'll stop by my house and I'll be at S's. But then she always walks to his house and we 3 hang out. It's very hard to hang out with her, especially now that school has let out! She's never home! She doesn't have a cellphone or a housephone, and she's never on AIM. I feel like I'm putting so much effort into this friendship and not getting anything in return. Like, if she's bored she'll hang out with me. But then she'll want to go home, or already have plans for the weekend. And then when we actually do make plans, she'll make plans with someone else and totally forget about me!
I miss my old childhood friend. I miss the older days when it was only us two and no one else. She's known her friend N as long as she's known me, but she still hangs out with N a lot more than me. I want to talk to her about it, but I don't want to sound whiney or obsessive. What should I say?
It's good that you want to talk to her about this. But you're right, you have to be careful. If you go about it the wrong way, you'll only push her further away.
When you talk to her, be careful not to say anything that indicates blame. Don't say things like, "You're always with N. I go to your house and you're never there. You always forget when we make plans. I put so much into this friendship. You've changed." That or anything along those lines will just make things much worse.
The best way to go about this is casually. If you sit her down and say something like, "We really need to talk. We haven't been hanging out as much as we used to and it's really starting to bother me. I miss hanging out with you and I wish we could hang out more", it will appear needy or whiny. Even though you're not putting the blame on anyone, she'll feel too cornered.
You should wait until the right moment to bring it up. The ideal moment would be a moment when you're together alone and in person. When you're lounging around on a bed or couch, totally at ease and comfortable with each other. When you're already having a heart-to-heart or deep conversation.
Start bringing up past memories, "Remember that one time when..." "Oh, yeah and then..." That way you're already on the subject of the past. Then say something plain and simple like, "Man, I miss days like that." She'll probably say, "Yeah, me too. That was so funny/scary/weird/fun."
Then you can say something like, "We should hang out more often and create new memories." Say it passively. You could still be giggling or smiling or whatever. Don't just stop and get dead serious and say it. Don't be too intense. Just say it and see what she says. She'll probably agree with you. Then you can try to make a date to hang out. She'll probably come then since she'll see that your guys' friendship is important to you and that you miss her.
If she by chance continues to break plans at the last minute or just forget them altogether, you'll have to have a more serious talk. At that point you can be more direct and say things like, "I don't understand why you would forget about our plans all the time. The first few times I let it go. But now it's starting to feel like you don't want to hang out."
But you can cross that bridge when you get to it. For now, just keep it casual and simple.
Darby(:
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