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fighting a lot.
for about two months now my boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot. well, not really fighting, like throwing things at eachother or screaming. its more of where one of us gets annoyed with the other and we just sit there, silently being pissed. eventually one of us breaks the ice, most of the time its him. im a lot more hardheaded.
and most of the time, its me being mad at him. im a very depressed person, and he'll always ask me whats wrong or if im ok. it gets really really annoying and thats when the cold shoulder starts up. even when nothing is wrong with me, or im kinda quiet, he'll keep asking over and over and over if im ok!! and then ill start being mean and he'll get pissed, and its a really vicious cycle and im tired of it.
well, tonight i was feeling really sick, and he asked me if i was ok and i told him i felt sick. and 10 minutes later, he asks me if something is wrong. again, i tell him i feel sick. then he asks me a third time and i sort of yell "I FEEL SICK". then im pissed at him and i guess he just blows it. he was in a really bad mood and cussing and screaming at everyone, except me. i had no idea this was going on until his mom told me he was being pissy and asked me if we were in a fight. i went up and asked him what his problem was and he said he didnt have a problem. then i told him that was a load of bullcrap, and he said something smartass, pissed me off, and so i walked home. his mom and brother picked me up on the side of the road and drove me most of the way, but this is getting rediculous.
how can i stop these hateful fights?? i dont want to lose him, but i honestly dont know if hes willing to try anymore or not. even his mom tried to convince me to dump him, but hes not a bad person. hes a wonderful boyfriend, its just sometimes we get annoyed with eachother. most of the time, we're like those sickening couples on those teen drama movies. we both have such short tempers and i dont know how to make it work.
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I'll tell you one of the big problems-his mom is way too involved in your relationship.
Problem number two is that you guys have been together long enough for the honeymoon period to be over, and you're not sure you like it.
Problem number three is that you want your boyfriend to be a mind reader.
Problem number four is that you are angry at yourself because you're not really sure if there is something better out there.
Problem number 5 is that you are taking your anger out on your boyfriend, and the more he takes it the less you respect him.
Problem number six-sometimes you just want him to be somebody completely different.
Your a normal girl-complete with all of the drama and confusion. You are going to keep pushing your boyfriend away until he goes and then chase him back. You recognize the cycle, you're not happy, but you're not sure if it's him or you. I'll tell you who it is-it's him and you-with his mother in the mix, to boot.
Don't worry over it so much. An argument is just an argument-everyone has them.
If you are happy more than 50% of the time stay with him. If you are miserable more than 50% leave him.
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It doesn't sound like he's doing much wrong. It sounds like he's asking you what's wrong, you're saying 'nothing' or 'i'm sick', and he's thinking it's more than that, so he's continuing to ask. He sounds like a good boyfriend, minus the short fuse, at least it's not aimed at you though. It sounds like he's just trying to get to the bottom of what's wrong. You get mad because he's repeatedly asking the same questions, then he's getting mad because he's just trying to help.
You guys just need to have a talk about it. Explain to him that when you say nothing's wrong or that you're sick, you mean just that. Tell him that you'll let him know if something more than that is wrong. Explain to him that it gets on your nerves when he keeps asking you what's wrong; especially when there really is nothing wrong. Let him know that you're not wanting to break up, but that if you guys don't start getting along better, that will be the only option.
On your end, try to speak with a little more detail. You mentioned that you're a very depressed person. I really think you're just seeming depressed to him, and he's trying to help, but is going about it the wrong way. You could help the situation 100% by being more specific than 'nothing' or 'i feel sick'.
Instead of that say, "Actually nothing's wrong. I had a pretty good day. How are you doing?" or "I have a headache and I've been feeling a little feverish. I think I might just be tired." By elaborating, he will be more assured that you really are okay and will feel like he has less of a reason to keep worrying about you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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