deathwillcome's advice column

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Q: I'm a LONER,a LOSER,a complete chatter box, and people think I'm anoing,I don't have any cool clothes either,Ialso don't stick to anything a start for exsample:baseketball,music lessons...! How do I make friends or even have them to want to be friends with me and maybe get a guy too like to go out with me? P.S. I'm 13 years old, Female,and super shy.

Assuming what you mean by "sticking to things", I think that you should try talking to someone. what I mean by that is, I know that you are super shy, but so was I. But I made friends quickly. Do you know how? I used my anoying talent to be funny. I was always making jokes. I was the second class clown. There was a boy named Nate that took the place of the class clown, but that was because I still wanted to get good grades. He was always in trouble. So first you have to get over your fears. here's how. When your family is going to go somewhere, ask if you can call the place and ask some questions. Then you will learn how to talk to people. Now you try talking to people at school. Here is a hint; People like to hang out with a person that is always happy, no matter what. (That's me) I'm not saying you can't be sad every once and a while, but if something like a bad grade hit's your scedual, don't get all mad, make a joke about it. Make people understand that you will be there for them if they ever have any problems. Other than that it is up to you. You are the only person that can get over your fears. So get rid of the shy thing and stick yourself out there. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: Well the boy really likes me and soo does my boyfriend and i dont know wut to do cuz i like both of them But i see the kid more often then my boyfriend.....

First I need more info on the boys before I can really give you a bunch of help. But, from what I have, I think that you should go with your heart. You can't be happy if you're not happy with who you have. But, I guess that is kind obvious. If you want more help with this you can give me more info on the boys, and I will help the best I can. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. You know, so I know how I did? Thanks!

Q: Alright, I'm 16 and I have been dating my bf for about 2 and 1/2 weeks. Everything has been going pretty good. I feel like I've known him forever and we are falling head over heels for eachother. His family loves me and my family loves him. It's been perfect. But it seems that everytime we hang out little things bug me about him. Like his friends for example. Most of them play girls and he acts a little different around me when they are with him. Another thing I don't care for is that he can be pretty insensitive about my feelings and is pushy about things. He says and does things and doesn't think about how it might be taken the wrong way. Like yesterday my twin sister pissed him off so he kiddingly yelled at her and then when she said a sarcastic comment back he went over to her, turned her over, and started punching and slapping her ass real hard. And I found it extremely weird and inappropriate because whenever I think of someone grabbing, slapping, or punching someones ass its usually someone they are into, because he does the same thing when we play fight. So it totally disgusted and pissed me off. When he did that it made me offended and mad. My last bf would walk by girls at the mall when I was with him and smack their ass but I never said anything about how it annoyed and upset me because I figured that if I let out how I felt that it might screw things up. Even today we got in a sort of fight over the way things were going between us. As in how fast we were moving physically. It is always me who intiates these small skirmishes and that's what worries me. Most of the issues I have with him happen because I have been through alot of shit with guys in the past and I try to protect myself by not putting up with shit. I just don't want to be the person that fights about shit all the time and feels like an overreacter. But I know that if I keep things to myself that it will end up building up and building up and the issues will never get solved. So is there any way that I can relieve these issues without feeling like I might be causing my relationship to self-destruct?

The only person that is coasing your relasionship to self-destruct id your bf. You know what? If I were you I would tell hom off good. But I think the best thing to do before you tell him off is ask him why he doing all of these things that turn you off. what you need to know is that you shouldn't stay with him because you feel guilty. If you don't feel right, don't force yourself. It is really late, so I can't go too deep.( too asleep) So I hope that helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: I was wondering if you guys could recommend anything for getting rid of dry skin, oily skin, and acne.

Dry skin- Lotion, there is a special kind that has Alo vera, it is really good for you.

Oily skin- Wash your face and "skin" more often. If you don't, then you will have more Zits/acne.

Acne- Wash your face, then there is a type of pad that is called "Oxey Pads" and wipe (after face is WASHED) and make sure you do that right before you go to bed. You have to do it every night in order to get it to work.

I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: f/14
so the guy i like, likes someone else. he asks me advice like how to ask her out and stuff like that. he obiously doesn't realize i like him. so yep, he likes this girl( who has bigger boobs than me and is probably 8 pound lighter than me, but diefidentally not as pretty)
how do i get him to forget about her and focus on me. in other owrds how do i get him to like me?
i rate hight!

I know that this might make you rate me low, but that is the problem. If you try to get his atention, he will probably loose interest in you at all. To me, people like other people that are interested in them. My advice is to help him get the girl. At least you will have a friend. The worst thing about dating a friend, is that if you brake up, you lose a friend. I was one of the lucky ones. Yuo just don't want to lose a friend that way. It would suck, hard core. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: I have a boyfriend and he really likes me and i like him but theres this other guy that i like alot and i see ihm all the time and he sees me i dont know what to do about ym boyfriend or what to do with the guy i like Plese help i rate high...
Sighned Cunfused

You know what? All I can tell ya is you have to think about what would be best for you. Now you said that this "other boy" has seen you. Does that mean that you are friends? Does that mean that he loves you? But you know that your "BOYFRIEND" loves you. So if you go for the "other boy" you could loose a friend, and boyfriend, for, if he sais no, nothing. If he sais yes then for all you know, he is rude and stupid. (not saying he is) Now if you stick with your "BOYFRIEND" you will know what you have, you will still have a friend/boyfriend, you will know that he loves you, and you will know that you love him. Now don't let me make your decision, but I would go with your HEART. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: hey does it pull or hurt when u shave "down there"?

thanx much!

jenna

I don't really know. I shaved down there once and it didn't really bother me until after, but I think it was just because I didn't put anything to make it conditioned. Just make sure you put like lotion, so that you don't get a rash. other than that, no, it doesn't really hurt. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: okay my ex boyfriend (my first love) broke up with me about a month ago! supposably he doesnt like me any more. But every time i dont see him for about a day or two he is always flirting with me like grabbing my butt, asking me to sit on his lap, hugging me, and/or cuddling with me. Every one says to give him time he likes you he just wants to see if your the one so let him date other people and he WILL come back to you. i dont know if he is trying to get me back by this or what he tells everyone that he dont like me but everyone tells me that by the way he acts around me and the way he gives me special treatment! i dont know please help me

You know, my ex is doin that to. I agree with your friends. Just let him do it, I mean, is it bothering you? If not then let him do it and he might come back. If it is bothering you then tell him and he should stop. If you have anymore questions about him or anything else you can ask me in my inbox, it is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: does anyone know any good friedship quotes, and i kind of want to be like 5 lines? about no more. or does nayone know any good xangas with friendship quotes?
-thanks

I'm going to give you a couple so you can chose.
1.When just being together is more important than what you do... you are with a friend.
2.your best friend is who brings out the best in you.
3.Of all happiness, the most charming is that of a firm and gentel friendship.
4. Some people touch our lifes only briefly...while others leave a lasting impression and are never forgotten.
5.A friend is one with whom you are comfortable, to whom you are loyal, through whom you are blessed, and for whom you are greatful.
6. The wonderful thing about firneds is they can grow separatley and yet never grow apart.
7.Friends are like angels without wings; they are the to guide and help you, but will never fly away.

I hope that that is enough. If not, tell me on my advice column, and I will give you more. I just didn't want to overwelm you. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you din't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: Hey, my best friend wants to have a summer party, before school starts, and we have no idea where to have it. We can't have it at her house, she said it won't work. We don't live by the beach, and we want to have it somewhere where we can be alone with some guys. Please help, we're totally stuck. Thanks.
x3 Erin

You can go to a swimming pool. Ususlly, not many people go to swimming pools during the week days. or you can hang out at one of he boys houses. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you can rate if you want, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: i'm 14 and in 2 weeks im going to be starting high school. this summer i met this really great guy..my friend introduced us. the thing is ive onlk really talked to him on the internet and the phone(hes not one of those internet weirdos cause my friend knows him). we are going to the mall just to hang out on friday and i really like him but am so self-concsious. I know im pretty. I actually think that, but sometimes i just get really nervous. ive never been on an actually date. ive been asked out alot before, i just never accepted cause ive been busy, and ive just never really like the guys that ask me out. since im starting high school i want to start dating. is there anyway to get me out of the habit of being sooo nervous?

Ya! Go out a lot more. Oh, and there's pretending that he is in his underware! Oh! That might not work out too well. Well All I can tell ya, is to date more often and you won't get so nervous. The reason that I can't give you a better one is because everyone has the nervs when they go out. Just most people don't show it. I don't know what else to say ecxept good luck! I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. you don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

P.S.
Tell mw how it goes!

Q: Well yesterday was my brothers birthday but he died about half a year ago.I'm really sad cause he would of been 22 years old. I noticed that my dad is sad about it and I'm also feeling the same but a bit confused I'm not sure wut to think or feel. I want to do something special to give him the message he's still alive in my heart though I'm not sure what to do.I can't goto where he was buried cause he was buried in Florida and I live in Texas. it's a long story but yea... any idea's would be highly appreciated thanks in advance.
-my prayers goto all who need them-

I thought of this once, but never really did it for my dad. You type or write a letter, then you tie it to a baloon. I always thought that it was a really good idea.
About the feelins, talk to somebody about it. It will help a lot. If you don't talk to someone or let out your feelins, it will burst out, and that isn't good. If you let it burst out after holdin it in, you might get sick, or yell at everyone for no apperant reason. So make sure you do somethin to let your feelins out. I like to find a song where they yell really loud and turn it up really loud. Then I scream with them and it gets my anger and sadness out.
I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. You can rate if you want, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

P.S.
By the way, my prayers are with you to. Godbless you!:)

Q: i know this is kinda stupid but how do i get closer friends ?? i want friends who i can trust and talk to and hang out like every day its just when i get friends they kick me to the curb i HAD these amazing friend((emma n iris)) and we hung out EVERY SiNLE DAY and i said lets never get into a fight i was us to be best friends forever and we did that secret box thing from crossroads((gay yeah i know rite lol)) well emma n iris one day hung out with this girl marissa and they became like BEST FRIENDS and i was just being left out and it happen like that i did not see it coming and then they started making fun of me and saying mean stuff to me and i said i wanted my stuff back from that secret box thing if your gonna keep doing this to me and they said that they through it out and i put my most favorite stuff in there...We are friends now but not that tight...how do i get REAL BEST friends? i will rate high for extremly good anweres

First thing, get away from those girls. They hurt you so don't give them a chance to do it again. Next get the vibe. What I mean, is just try talking to people. I mean don't scare someone half to death. Just try to meat people. I can't garintee that all of your friends are going to be the best, but at least you will have friends. Just keep your head up, and never give up. Always have an open mind. If you expet the very best to always happen, you will get disapionted often. If you always expect the worst, you will always be depressed, and no one will want to be around you. But if you keep your mind and heart open, you will always be happy! I hope I helped and remember, my inbox is always open. Only rate if you want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: Kay well my boyfriend IMed me and said " if i recieved a nickel for every time i saw a girl as beautiful as u i would have 5 cents" & i odnt get it!! is it sweet?? im not stupid or anything haha.xOx thnk you !!

Yes it is nice! Pritty much he is saying that he has only seen one person as priity as you because he said that if he had a nickle(which is 5 cents) for every time he has seen a girl as pritty as you, he would have 5 cents. (which means he would only have one nickle.) I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Only rate if you want to, but it would be nice you did. Thanks!

It sounds like he wants to know that you care, and he is probably just woried or something. About the saying I love you first, it is probably a good idea. YOu know him better than I do, so do what you think he would like. Or even better, ask him what would make him know that you love him. This will show him that you do care, and that you really want him to know. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Only rate if you want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: ummmm ok theres this kid i like who i have known for ever but i never really talked to him but this summmer i started alot and i told him i like him and my friend asked him if he likes me and he said maybe but im not answering and then everytime i say bye or w/e i say i love you but then i say jk and he says bye what are some ways i can get him intersed or tell if he is or ways to tell him i really like him

Just tell him that you like him and you want to know if he likes you too. Everybody, not just guys, like it when people are honest with them. I know how you feel, and it isn't worth losing. If you don't tell him and he doesn't tell you you might be missing the best thing in your life. The worst thing would to wake up one day and ask yourself what it would have been like if you had asked him out. But make sure you think through it first, because if you just act on what I say, you will never be happy about it. Make sure that you want "it" and then you can ask him. But it would never hurt to ask him if he likes you face to face. Tell him that it would really mean something to you if he told you if he liked you or not. That should make him tell you. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Only rate if you want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks.

Q: All my friends are so much prettier and skinnier than me, and it lowers my self esteem. They are always the ones that get all the guys attention, and I hardly get any. I know it shouldnt matter at all, but it still bothers me. My friends dont treat me badly or anything, but im always worried that they are secretly thinking lower of me. Any suggestions on how to quit becoming so jealous and to stop thinking Im not good enough for my friends?

You know that I used to think the smae way, and it is hard to get over. just get some new friends that you can get to know, maybe even boy-friends! Just find somebody that you think needs a friend and go talk to them. Act natural, everybody likes a person that likes herself, if you don't like yourself, no one else will. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. or you can just E-mail me, and don't be afraid to talk to me. I'll always be there, you can betcha that.

Q: 13/f

hey i just really want a guy. im attractive and pretty popular but i cant get a guy! im in 7th grade.. ive asked out a couple of guys in 8th and they automatically say no because i think they think its a joke. one time i gave a guy a note saying it wasnt a joke and he never wrote back.. i guess he wasnt interested but idk what to do! idk how to apporach a guy that i dont know, and want to go out. i've had boyfriends before and all but its been real hard lately. could you help me please? i rate 5 on anything that answers. ~thanks~

Now, guys like girls that are interested in what they are. so when you see a guy that is reasonable, walk up to him when he is alone, and say something like " Hay, my name is (so and so), what is your's." then you just have a conversation, about things that he likes. (make sure you ask him what he likes, don't just guess!) If he doesn't really get that you are trying to make small-talk. I hope that I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Only rate if you want to. Don't be afraid to ask anything that you want to know. If I didn't quite make it clear, E-mail me and I will talk to you about it. (You can go to my column to see my E-mail adress.) I will always answer! You can be sure of it.

Q: I need a few EXCELLENT pranks to pull on a group of around 6 or 7 girls. My friend and I are doing them together on the rest of the group. We would like to have a prank to scare them, but any type of prank would be alright.
Thank ya!

P.S.---we can't be too harsh!

There's the sleepin one, where you put the whiped-creem on the person's hand and then tickle their nose with a feather or somethin like that and they will scratch their nose and get their face covered with whiped cream. That is a funny one. Let's see... what are some other ones I know? I know! What you do is go to the store and buy the kind of makup that washes up easy, and then wait untill they are all asleep, and color all over there faces, but make sure that they don't know if they wake up while you are doin it, so like do it in a dark room. That's good. That's all I can think of for right now, but if you need to ask anymore questions, remember my inbox is always open. I hope I helped, only rate if you want to. By the way, tell me how it goes!

Q: well, my cousin was just diagnosed with cancer, and he is 16. my mom said he will only live til his 20's and im not taking it very well. =\ anyone have any ideas on how i can take it better?? please !!!

I lost my dad at ten years of age, and it is pritty hard to lose a person that is close to you. I'm not saying that they are the same, yours is prbably a diferent relasionship, but you see, there are ways to get through things. I will try to help.

1.Tell your cousin how you feel. Ask him if he can helpp you through wile you are helpin him through.
2. Spend as much time as you can with him as posible, believe me, if you don't you will feel guilty and sad because of it.
3. Only talk about it if you really need to. Bringin it up will only make you reallize that you don't have much time. Maybe go to stay at his house for the last couple of months of his life. (Even though you don't know the egzact date of his death or sometin, you can still try to be with him as much as posible.
4. Just try to keep him happy. Help him do thins that you don't think that he would ever do in his life.(like skydivin, huntin, rocky mountntain climin, ect.)
5. talk to him about it and get to know what all of this means, and how long you might have with him. But try not to get too depressed.

AFTER DEATH
1.After he is... gone, don't morn all of the time. Remember that he wouldn't have wanted you to be all sad. Only remember all of the good and fun thins you did with him.
2. talk about it, if you don't you will have problems all of your life, trust me.
3. Last but not least, never be afraid to cry.
Courage is doing what you are afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you are scared.

I hope I helped and remember, my inbox is always open. Only rate if you want to. You can email me at death_will_come@hotmail.com! Be fre to E-mail me anytime.

P.S.
Sorry this was so long!

bio

Ok, so I haven't been on in a while and I'm just starting to get back to where I can give advice again. I had a rough spot there and I just couldn't give advice without seeming rude, so I decided to take a break. My real name is Shannon and I live in Utah. I am 15 and I love animals and friends. I love to act and know a bit about those kinds of things. I would love to help you out and hope that I can. But there is one thing, you have to ask a question for me to answer! Just kidding. Hope you have a great day!