about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.


advice

who here knows how to get a stolen password for aim out if it wasn't sent to my email, since the last email address i used was deleted?

all i know is someone changed it, and i don't know who, but i'm starting to get pissed off about it. if someone could either tell me how to do this, or tell me if they've ever seen the screen name fluffypug09, since i got an im and sent one back about five minutes before this happeend, fron this person, that would be fantastic, thanks.

if its an email address then you could type in the user name and click "forgot password" some have a reminder question that you would have wrote when you signed up. if it has this then you can answer the question and change your password back.

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My ex and i had a long history together for 3 and a half years. We havent been together now for over a year.(over something stupid) anyway hes been with his new gf now for that long.
Heres the problem and my question>2 Christmas's ago, i spent alot of money on him(no big deal)
anyways he bought me the most beautiful necklace. It had 3 hearts joined together, with the middle heart having diamond chips going all around it. He told me that HE had designed it himself, and that it was expensive. The 3 hearts symbolized our 3 years together. I loved it and wore it all the time (when we were together)It is now in the safe downstairs!!!
Christmas evening my gf and her new bf came to vistit me at work. She wanted to show me what her bf of only 2 weeks had given her. It was that EXACT same necklace i received 2 years ago. I was in shock. Then i became very angry!! He bought it from the same place my ex told me he got mine from, but i thought mine was a 1 of-a-kind!
I dont care what advice i get about this, but i am going to confront him no matter what!! I cant see his face online or over the phone, so im doing this in person! If any of you say to just let this go, you dont know what i have been through. I cant help but feel that those 3 and a half years were all a lie!
Since hes been with his new gf, he has told me he still missed what we had, and told me he loved me!
When they broke up(every month basically)he ditched her to hang out with me! We made out(thats all)told me he still loved me again!!
Then when things didnt go his way AGAIN, he tells me that he would NEVER do anything to hurt "her". He always lies and makes up excuses why he said this or why he did that to cover up the real truth!!
I would just like to hear everyones opinion on this!
I rate high!!

i think he's scum and a liar. next time they break up DON'T make out with him, dont even let him hink that you like him, he keeps using you to pass the time till he gets back with her.
he's not boyfriend material and by making out with him your letting him walk all over you.
dont waste your time on him

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ok..me nd my bf have been together for 7 months. just recently we had oral..and he busted...so he went to the bathroom and everything was ok. later that day, he fingered me. my period has always been irregular. im late a week nd my bf is freaking out. is there any way i culd b pregnant?

if you dont know the answer to that question then youa re way too imature and too young to be having a sexual relationship

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ok so im on my period...funfun...and my tummy hurts like never before...what are somethings/anything i can do/take to feel better? 13/f if that helps?(not my first time also)

A hotwater bottle (wrapped in a towel) works, the warmth easer cramps and pain.
also a nice relaxing bath will ease muscle pain too.
i swear by hot water bottles though, just make sure you dont burn yourself, wrap it up very well x

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ok,
this guy asked me out over myspace.
i said yes.
now he dosnt talk to me.
i have to start everything and he dosnt reply.
i met him once before i even found him on myspace.
and i asked if he wanted to hangout
he didnt reply.
then i left a bulletin asking for peoples advice.
and i was like.
now the guy i like dosnt like me.
he replyed.
the guy you like better be me.
so now i left one HOPEING he will see it saying how this guy dosnt talk to me.
so now what do i do.
is he playing me?
i mean.
if he dosnt reply to hanging out.
PLEASE HELP ME I RATE HIGH

Sorry sweetie but yes, it does sound like he is playing you. i wouldnt even conciser him as i boyfriend if i were you.
it sounds as though you really like him but he's obviously not interested otherwise he'd be a proper boyfriend and taking you on dates and wanting to talk to you all the time. i know its hard but you need to move on. it will get easier...i promise :-)

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k dont tell me im stupid or anything but me and my boyfriend had sex and te comdom fell off in me but he could still see the top of it and stuff and he said he didnt cum that much.....wat is the chance of me gettin pregnant and not gettin pregnant? plz tell me

there's a very high chance that you are pregnan, he came inside you, no matter how much or how little you may still be pregnant.

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I'm 15/f and really shy. I can't phone people, answer the door, buy things from shops, talk to people I don't know well.. and basically stuff like that. Everyone else can do normal things like that easily but I can't.. my hands start shaking and my stomach goes all tight, I blush and I just wanna run away when that happens. I think I'm scared of people judging me or something. I know people won't really care if I make mistakes but I worry about things so much anyway that I can't talk to people.
I can't even apply for college because you have to have an interview! I probably won't ever get married or get a job and I'll be a huge failure just because I'm shy! I don't know if I can get counselling because how would they be able to help me when I can't even speak to them? It's ruining my life. People just say 'snap out of it' or 'get some confidence'.. well it's not that easy, you can't buy confidence. My dad calls me a coward because I hate walking past people in the street.. which I suppose I am, but he thinks I'm pretending to be shy or something.
How can I get over it without seeing a counsellor? Are there medicines that work? Thanks xx

ok, first of all you are not alone. i feel like that too. i have a panic attack if i have to phone someone ir if someone comes to the door, im even worse in shops.
i think you have a social phobia, which means you get really panicy in public places or where you have to interact with other people.
i recomend that you go and see your doctor and ask to refer you to a therapist, which means you'll get it free.
the doctor may also tell you about medication you can take for panic attacks but i really wouldnt recomend that route as you dont want to become too dependant.
you could ask a friend or family member to call a private therapist, they usually charge around £25 to £30, some are free in special cases. the reason i suggest a private one is because they are more likely to come to your house. thats what i have. although it's still scary, you have your home comforts around you and can have anything with you that makes you feel comfortable.
i know seeing a therapist is a really frightening thing first you, if you get a really good one, and a nice one (you can have 1 session with a few and see who you like best) they are trained to deal with people who are afraid to talk and will help you to gain confidence and to help you with your panic attacks.
in the first session its a "getting to know you" session so the therapist will tell you about him/herself and then ask you questions and you can give as much or as little info as possible.
it really is worth it.
Also, to calm you down Rescue remedy is suposed to really help although ive never tried it. http://www.bachshop.com/customer/home.php

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I quite often wish that I am more ill than i actually am. I found myself wishing that I could be in hospital over a christmas at some point. I was always ill as a child and spent a lot of last year ill with depression and glandular fever and in a way... i miss it.

I find myself exagerating all aches and pains, I almost like the pain sometimes.

I feel so messed up, do any of you guys ever feel like this?

i've had alot of ill health too and alhough ive never felt this way, i think part of why you feel like this is because when you are ill you get lots of attention and people worry about you and they give you presents. maybe its not the feeling ill you like, because lets face it being ill is awful. i think its the good things about being ill that you miss (the love and attention etc).
everyone likes presents and love and attention, its normal x

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okay i have cut myself in the past and kinda still do...i am anorexic and get upset easily...when my mom found out i was cutting she said "Dont be a stupid f***"...and i asked to see a therapist and she said i dont need to..she jus doesnt understand...i dont know what to do...i am so anorexic ive lost my period and i am starting to cut again ((along with suicide poems)) and i obviously cant ask her...school counselours dont work..i've tried..please help!

I have an eating disorder too and ive just started to get help. so i sugest that you go and see your doctor, if you dont have one yet then register. they will tell you all your option and help you. it depends where you live but in the UK you can have free councelling and therapy if your doctor refers you. so try your doctor first.
your doctor may also speak to your mum and explain how dangeorous your condition is.
if you cant get free therapy then talk to your school councellers again, tell them everything about yur condition, if they dont help then i'd have a talk with a school teacher and tell them that they are not giving you the help you need. your life is in danger so it is crutial that someone proffessional helps you.
i wish you well, good luck x

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Ok, I need some advice. Just words of wisdom to help me out. My ex boyfriend wants to get back together with me, but I am having a hard time trusting him and understanding him. So, I am going to let you read an AIM conversation between us and let me know what you think. Ok? Just give me whatever advice comes your way. Here it is:

Before you read it: Cory left me back in January for a girl named Allyson who is in California. He even went to see her over the summer. WE are in Indiana. Cory is in college and I am taking the semester off to work and be with family after the breakup. Cory was cheating on me with Allyson (telling her that he loved her and had already dumped me) for 4 months before I found out. He says he fell in love with her! He told me that he never loved me like he loved her and all of that. I was devastated. He and I had been together for nearly 3 years!!!!! Well, now, they are over and he has come back to me. He wants me back and is asking for my trust and wants me to be with him. we even made out a week ago and it was AMAZING! But, I can't seem to let the past go. Just read this. Now that you have a little background, you should understand!

Me: Hey baby! How are y?ou
Him: fine
Me: you ok?
Me: busy?
Him: a little
Me: Hmmmm
Me: who are you talking to?
Me: Laugh out Loud
Me: Just kidding
Him: no one
Him: working on this song
Me: Cool Beans Batman!
Me: My hair is BLONDE!
Him: ok, good
Me: you didn't like it dark?
Him: not really
Me: Laugh out loud, ok
Me: Well, its like almost white
Me: Kinda hard to get used to
Him: we'll see
Me: Ok
Me: I found some old pictures of us on a CD
Me: I ripped all of the paper ones
Him: ok
Me: Sorry!
Me: Did you take Allyson's pictures off your phone?
Him: no, just like i didn't take yours off my computer
Me: Hmmmmm....
Me: But hers are Nasty cause she is a whore and all and if you want to forget her, then why keep them?
Him: she's not a whore, and i'm not going to put up with that (insert my name here)
Me: ?
Me: with what?
Him: i am not going to put up with you bad mouthing my ex
Me: And I have reason to NOT do that?
Him: you'll lose some of my respect
Me: Well, ok, I wont bad mouth her, but, um, why keep the pictures?
Him: i want to remember
Me: you want to remember leaving me and hurting me?
Him: i want to remember her, and california, and the good times we had
Me: Why? Why does it mean that much to you if you are over her?
Me: I will tell you why, cause you still love her, and want her, and you dont love me, you only want me cause you and her are over. I am just a rebound! You dont regret ANYTHING that you did at all. You dont even think it was wrong, do you? I get it now!
Him: o my god, i am not going to put up with this shit, night
Me: I am not trying to be rude, I am sorry
Me: I am just hurt cause I see it now
Him: no, you don't
Him: cause that
Him: that's not it
Him: i am tired of your jealous attitude
Him: just fuck it
Him: forget everything that's happened the past couple of weeks between us
Him: bye
Me: How can I not be jealous? You left me for her.
Me: Sorry!
Him: do you WANT to lose me again, cause you are going to..
Me: I am sorry, what is it that I dont understand then?
Him: i just want to remember her! christ!
Him: jesus FUCKING christ
Me: Well, ok, but how would you feel if I had half nude pics of Nick on my phone and would not delete them? I mean, others, ok, I can see that.
Me: Is this really what you want? : forget everything that's happened the past couple of weeks between us
Him: it seems to be what you want
Me: No, it isn't Cory!
Him: then just shut up about the past
Him: i am not going to talk about it anymore
Me: I WANT YOU! But, I cant help it that I am jealous of her, Cory! You cant expect me to just let it go whenever it was something that hurt me as much as it did. You just dont undertsand that.
Me: And I am sorry that you dont want to talk about it, but talking about it helps my insecurities
Me: Talking is what we have to do to fix the problems
Him: well, i just don't want to talk about it
Me: So, you don't want to fix my insecurities? Cause thats about the only way
Me: I mean, you couldn't have expected this to all be easy? I thought we agreed to fix things together. Remember? You even said "Then let me heal you" when I told you that I was still hurt. And, I am!
Me: I can't help that.
Him: i'm just busy, and i want to just forget everything from before
Me: Then why r you mad at me
Me: ?
Him: i'm not
Me: I think you are
Me: I was just trying to talk to you and you blew up. AGAIN
Me: ?
Him: i'm just writing this music
Him: it's star wars
Me: Ok
Me: Well.....
Me: ?
Him: wanna hear it so far?
Me: Cory, I love you sweetie and I want to be with you again and make this work, but your always blowing up on me. And I am sorry that I am insecure, but I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME WITH IT!
Me: Sure
Him: just a sec then
Me: ?
Me: you calling?
Him: yes
Me: You dont sound to happy to talk to me when you call
Him: i am just preoccupied here
Me: ok, so, back on the subject......
Me: Like I said:
Me: Cory, I love you sweetie and I want to be with you again and make this work, but your always blowing up on me. And I am sorry that I am insecure, but I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME WITH IT!
Me: Thats EXACTLY how I feel
Him: well, not much i can do, you just have to get over things, and give it time
Me: get over what?
Him: the past
Me: and what about you blowing up on me?
Him: just cause i am busy
Me: Ok, well, I guess I can try to be more understanding about that, but you need to try not to
Him: ok
Me: But, you already said to foget everything, so.....
Me: and you said that I was going to lose you
Him: just stop
Me: ?
Him: i'm going to bed
Him: i'm tired of this tonight
Me: Ok, well, did you mean what you said?
Him: no
Me: If so, just tell me
Me: Ok, then, why did you say it?
Him: just tired of talking about all this stuff
Me: O My God! I am doing it AGAIN! This is what drove you crazy last time. I nit pick! Every word you say
Him: yeah, exactly
Me: UGH! I am sorry!
Him: going to bed
Him: to bed i said
Me: Laugh Out Loud
Me: Well, Sorry!
Him: night, love you
Him: night
Me: Just give it time, I will stop being so stupid!
Me: And I love you too!
Me: gnite
Him: is away at 11:14:18 PM.

Let me know what you think!

Have you read that conversation to yourself, really? beause it doesnt sound like he wants to get back together with you. im sorry, i know its hard, i've been there, and i dont want to sound cruel because ive been like this too but you sound desperate when u talk to him. you keep saying "sweetie, i love you" and you keep apologising, you've done nothing wrong. anyone would be insecure if they've been what you've been through. he was cruel to you. he makes you feel so bad and upset and horrible, he doesnt care about you or want to support you and understand about why you are so insecure. he's really not worth it.
if he loved you, you wouldnt keep swearing at you in that convosation, he wuldnt be so abrupt, he wouldnt go to bed because he'd want to sort it out and be with it. he doesnt even sound like he wants to be your friend, let alone your boyfriend. and how could you ever trust him again?
you deserve better! if you did get back with im it wouldnt last very long because he's not interested and you'd never be sure how long it would be before he cheats n you or dumps you again. it will play on your mind and make you feel a whole lot worse.
dont let him do this too you again sweetie. he is so not worth it!

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for those of you know what harvey is; i wanna go there

i want to go there because everyone is going aginst me in my school in westchester.

no i mean EVERYONE

i dont have one friend

and it was because i said im getting a boyfriend and hes really popular (i WAS too)

and trust me noones jellous

they say im a backstabber....

and im not

so can someone hlp me find a web. for harvey privite school?

Here you go. Good Luck x
http://www.harveyschool.org/bins/site/templates/splash.asp

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I NEED A HORSE!!!! i love horses and i really want one.my friens tory got a horse last summer. my mom said its a posibility to get one.i was dreaming every night about having a horse after that.they havent said anything about it and win i bring horses up they allways change the subject.im sorry of making this so long but i am in need of your help.

we also need more money.can i get money out of my UGMA account(uniform gift to minor account)?
so my question is, how can i get my mom to buy me a horse?
NOte: i no how much responability they are and how expencive they are so dont mention that please.

Is obvious that you really want a horse, and ive no doubt that you would take responsibily for it but you also said your family needs more money.
I know its hard but you have to stop asking your parents to buy you a horse because if they need more money then they cant afford it.
you know horses are expensive, too expensive for your family to pay for the horse and all the costs that come with a horse such as food, stables, land ect.
you also say they keep changing the subject when you mention it, so insted of asking them to buy a horse, just say "i know we cant afford a horse so could we come to a compromise" and ask them about horse riding instead. that way you can ride and look after the horse without all the expense.

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The guy that I'm seeing is a real pig. He has a beer guy because he'll go out drinking all the time with his friends and down 12 beers. He farts all the time and has bad breath and body odor. He has red veigns on his nose from all his drinking. Also he dresses like he's thin, he'll wear tight jeans and t shirts but it looks ridicuous because he's about 30 pounds overweight.
It's really hard for me to get turned on by him. It's not just the way he looks sometimes he can be a real jerk. The last straw was when I phoned him on his cell on he told me to only phone him if it was after 6.
I want to dump him but I don't know how to go about it. Should I tell him that his appearance turns me off or would that be too mean?

If i were you, i wouldnt tell him all his bad points, it's cruel and unnessesary.
Just tell him that your feelings for him have changed and you think it would be best if you broke up before you start to hate eachother.

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Can enyone give me lists of diet foods? like these would be the only things that i eat for one month kind of foods, if you could that would be great!

This website has a list of the healthiest foods in the world and has healthy recipes for you to try.
http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php

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yea okay were doing this dead person project. and we have to make tombstones. anyway. it has to be like a foot tall. and i don't know what to make it out of? and it has to be 3D and be able to stand..please helpp asap!!

when we had to make a big sculpture in art we used chicken wire first to sculpt the shape we want. so you could make a tombstone shape from chicken wire, it will mould into any shape you want, then you can cover it with newspaper and glue and paint it once its dried and gone hard.

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okay..well i'm a 13 year old girl and i like this 17 year old guy and he liks me too. my best friend is going out with his cousin so we get to spend a lot of time together. he's a really awesome guy and i know he'd NEVER hurt me. he really cares about me..but the thing is we want to be friends with advantages before we date but it's hard cause he lives in a different town..even though he can drive i don't want him to come over cause i don't want my parents to freak about the age difference..he's the same age as my sister. how should i tell them how old and how good of a kid he is..my mom's met him before but it was only for liek 2 seconds. idk what to do..if you can help i will rate high. please and thanks to those who do help me.♥

he's almost an adult, you are a young child (even though you might not think you are) so if he touches you he will be breaking the law.
he cant love you, being friends with benefits means theres no commitment so he'l get what he wants from you and at the same time he can see other girls and do sexual stuff with them. dont let him use you like that.

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my boyfriend really wants to have sex...i think i love him and i really want to too. i am just so nervous...she i wait?or should i just go for it?protection? andy advice...?¿

First of all, you need to make sure your body is really for it. 16 is the legal age for sex for a good reason, before that age you are not ready for sex, physically and mentaly.
Dont have sex just because everyone else is doing it, dont feel pressured by anyone, especially not your boyfriend.
You have to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons (because you both really love eachother and you both really want it, together, not just with anyone.)
Your virginity is something you can never get back, it is a special thing so you must be sure that afterwards you wont regret it and your boyfriend wont leave you.
If you are 100% sure that he loves you, and you are the only girl for him and that you are both completely ready (and at the legal age) then make love.
it's natural to feel nervous because it's a huge deal losing your virginity, you dont have to do anything you dont want to so if you dont feel ready or you ask him to stop, then if he really does love you, he wont mind at all and accept that you need to wait.
if you both decide that you are ready then you deffently need condoms. if he doesnt want to use them, then he's not mature enough to be having sex in the first place.
Condoms will help to prevent pregnany and sexual diseases so they are vital.

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Righto, my monthly visit (period) just came by again. It's weird, it's really uncomfortable and it hurts just to walk.. I was just wondering how can I make my cramps a little better and any hints/tips on periods? Thanks

A hotwater bottle wrapped in a towel helps alot with period pain, just make sure you wrap it up well so you don't burn yourself.

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what are some great rock songs??? i rate high!!!

Sweet child o mine - guns and roses, its so cool and has the best guitar riff ever! :-)

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i sure hope you can help me. heres my story... ok me and this boy named zach used to go out like a yr. ago! and when we went out it didnt last long. now me and him are starting to talk again and we are getting along great. we are talking about getting to know each other more and then thinking about getting back together.
some how me and him started talking about sex! he wants to have sex with me cause he likes me alot! and i like him so i cant turn him down! im scared though.its not cause im still a virgin its because im afraid ill get pregnant! i know alot of teens loose there virginity and most of them dont get pregnant the first time. but im afraid beacuse if i get pregnant then my parents will kill me. i dont want to make another mistake because i ahppen to make alot of those! so can u please help me choose what to do? and what condom is the best? and if i do have sex with him with a condom what the percent chance i can get pregnant! thanx so much i hope u can help me! i rate high

IM me on xoxokaylaoxox91 always kayla

ok, you are right to be worried about having sex with him, not just because of the pregnancy risk.
I'd wait a while first, if you become boyfriend and girlfriend wait quite a long time (especially if you are underage as you are not ready for it emotionally, mentaly and physicaly)) just to make sure that its going to last with you two and that your relationship wont end soon after you've had sex.
if he gets bored with waiting or tries to put pressure on you then you know he's only after sex and he isnt worth it, dont let him use you.
Also, you have to makie sure that you are 100% certain that it is what you both want and wont regret it after.
make sure you love eachother, if its just sex then its going to be horrible, make sure you "make love", sex and especially your virginity is a special thing, so dont rust into anything, keep your virginity for someone special because you cant ever get it back and many young girls regret losing their virginity at such a young age and to someone that didnt love them.

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