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So shy it's untrue
I'm 15/f and really shy. I can't phone people, answer the door, buy things from shops, talk to people I don't know well.. and basically stuff like that. Everyone else can do normal things like that easily but I can't.. my hands start shaking and my stomach goes all tight, I blush and I just wanna run away when that happens. I think I'm scared of people judging me or something. I know people won't really care if I make mistakes but I worry about things so much anyway that I can't talk to people.
I can't even apply for college because you have to have an interview! I probably won't ever get married or get a job and I'll be a huge failure just because I'm shy! I don't know if I can get counselling because how would they be able to help me when I can't even speak to them? It's ruining my life. People just say 'snap out of it' or 'get some confidence'.. well it's not that easy, you can't buy confidence. My dad calls me a coward because I hate walking past people in the street.. which I suppose I am, but he thinks I'm pretending to be shy or something.
How can I get over it without seeing a counsellor? Are there medicines that work? Thanks xx
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ok, first of all you are not alone. i feel like that too. i have a panic attack if i have to phone someone ir if someone comes to the door, im even worse in shops.
i think you have a social phobia, which means you get really panicy in public places or where you have to interact with other people.
i recomend that you go and see your doctor and ask to refer you to a therapist, which means you'll get it free.
the doctor may also tell you about medication you can take for panic attacks but i really wouldnt recomend that route as you dont want to become too dependant.
you could ask a friend or family member to call a private therapist, they usually charge around £25 to £30, some are free in special cases. the reason i suggest a private one is because they are more likely to come to your house. thats what i have. although it's still scary, you have your home comforts around you and can have anything with you that makes you feel comfortable.
i know seeing a therapist is a really frightening thing first you, if you get a really good one, and a nice one (you can have 1 session with a few and see who you like best) they are trained to deal with people who are afraid to talk and will help you to gain confidence and to help you with your panic attacks.
in the first session its a "getting to know you" session so the therapist will tell you about him/herself and then ask you questions and you can give as much or as little info as possible.
it really is worth it.
Also, to calm you down Rescue remedy is suposed to really help although ive never tried it. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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You dont need medicines hun.
You need self confidense.
Get out there and dont be afraid to be youtself.
Don't worry about what people think about you.
I bet you are fun and willing to give people a good laugh.
Be yourself.
You have to live life, not be afraid to live it.
Get out there and start making friends.
People don't bite.
Try to do some things yourself.
Remember..Dont sweat the small stuff, because it is all small stuff.
No, get out there and show people you are an awesome and great person to be with!
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Aw, ok listen. Medicines will not help. It may seem like an easy out for now, but trust me, they end up making things worse. If you go on medication then it will ruin your body. For example, it may mess up your stomach and inable you from having children. I had the same EXACT problem last year! This problem has to do with being self-conscious..overly self-conscious. I actually considered going to a therapist. But then somebody told me a wonderful way to overcome this: You go to the mirror and look at yourself. And well, since everybody only sees the bad points about themselves when they look in the mirror, only look at the good points. Like, if you have beautiful eyes, be like, "wow, my eyes are so pretty...nobody I know has eyes like mine." Tell yourself you are beautiful and that anybody would be lucky to talk to you. When somebody walks by you, and they look at you, they are looking at all your good points. You are just viewing it as if they are looking at your bad points because thats the only thing that you see when you look in the mirror. I followed this advice because I didn't want to be shy anymore before going into my first year at high school. Now, I am really popular and one day I asked my friends, "hey do I come off as the shy type to you guys?" And when I told them I used to be so shy that I couldn't talk to people they couldn't believe it. I wish you the best of luck =]
-Josi
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well therapists are trained to help people like you. and you cant get any meds unless they find your prob and you talk to them. trust me i used to be really shy but i just try facing my fears and look at me today i am as outgoing as can be. you cant get better until you get help either from yourself or someone else!
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well, for medications you would also need to see a therapist and tell him what the problem is, so that he can perscribe it to you. i see that you have no problem writing things down to people that you can't see. what you could do is write your problem down on paper with your email on it and give it to a counselor or slide it under their door. then, you could get their advice through email. or, you could go to psychotherapist and communicate with them by writing stuff down on paper. also, don't worry, you won't be a failure. if you can't fix your problem, there are plenty of jobs online, for which you don't have to talk to anyone in person. also, you don't have to go to interviews for all colleges... well, maybe that depends on what state you're in, but i would check the application requirements for the colleges you're interested in first.
if you want, i can give you my psychology professor's email - he has an incredible amount of experience and i'm absolutely sure that he will be able to point you in the right direction and tell you what you could do. just email me at m-dav@hotpop.com or leave me a comment in feedback.
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Be brave and start off by joining a a group or club from school. Everybody judges ist normal, and if you just give them time to show them the real you they wont jugde you.
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Awwww sweetie that sucks. But, its that way for me too. I get nervous on phone calls, and make my parents go buy me things in stores. And in Presentation Skills, i cant even read aloud. I know it sucks, it really does. If there's one person you really can trust whos very supportive of the way you're feeling, practice doing interviews on them. And in the interview, stare above the persons head, always; focus on one thing and keep concentrated. Just ignore that people are there, picture your the plae you love the most, and keep fixated on it. Also, when you feel comfortable about yourslef, you tend to be able to do things like call people and make presentations. Dress in your favorite thing, and take a nice bath befre-hand. Loosen up, get comfortable with the fact that you will have to do it. As for not being married because of it, that shouldnt be a problem! when you find the guy you love, it wont matter that you're afraid. And no, there are no medicines for this. ALthough you could get anxiety pills? (ive used before). Just try. Make sure that you comfortable no matter what you do :)
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