Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
Visitors: 48363
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Fashion and Styles
View All
Favorite Columnists
Cux
|
| |
15/f
So I really love the store Hot Topic and I go there a couple times a month or so. When I turn 16 I do plan to apply for a job there and I really do want a job there. Well when I go there there is always this one employee who is there! And we've made small talk before and I don't think he recognizes me which is understandable but I thought if I can befriend him or other employees then my chances of getting a job there would increase slightly? It doesn't even matter if it doesn't, I just want to be friends with the employees and recognizable to them when I walk in and able to talk to them because they are all so nice and funny. Hot Topic feels like a second home to me, I'm just so comfortable there.
Haha, this was a weird/ corny spiel but yeah, any advice? (link)
|
Keep doing what you're doing.
Whenever you go in there make a point to talk to the employees and be very nice and friendly. Try to get to know them and let them know you. You could ask them how they like working there, and mention that in however many months you are thinking about applying there. Ask if there are open positions now or if you can put an application in early. Even if they don't have an opening right now, you want your application to be on top of the pile.
Also when you're at the store, take note of what the employees do and the location of all the products. It will be an advantage for you to know the layout of the store and the basics when applying for the job.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
so i shave down there and it always leaves bumps and makes me feel uncomfortable around my bf. i use shaving gel and a new razor and everything... i dont wanna wax it cuz it will hurt and i cant get lazer hair removal so any advice on what might help? (link)
|
Your bumps are just razor burn or ingrown hairs.
Avoiding that is hard, but there are some things you can do.
Shaving downward (with the growth of the hair, not against) is supposed to reduce ingrown hairs.
I don't shave down there every time I shower because I find that if you give the hair time to grow, the shave will be smoother and bump free.
Waxing really isn't all that bad, it is painful but it's bearable. It leaves no razor burn (but the area can become red so be careful) and takes the longest for the hair to grow back.
There are products that you can put on the area after shaving to prevent razor burn. Try something soothing, with aloe vera. Check out your local drug store, I'm sure you can find some.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
All through my teens I've had almost completely clear skin with very few break outs. Recently, my skin has got really bad. My chin and forehead are the worst areas and seems to constantly have break outs. I have a good skin care routine and always remove my make up before bed. Any ideas what could be causing this? (link)
|
Everyone has different skin, so it's hard to pinpoint the cause. My cousin had clear skin through high school and now has a ton of acne problems in college.
Have you been stressed lately? That causes break outs easily.
Have you changed your diet? A poor diet isn't good for your skin.
Have you used any new skin products lately? You could be reacting to it.
Or it could just be over production of oil which happens from time to time, no matter what age. If it doesnt clear up soon, visit a dermatologist who can diagnose the cause and give you a treatment. In the mean time, drink lots of water! It works wonders! Stick with a skin care routine and lay off the make up if you can (mineral make up doesn't clog pores and can actually clear up skin, and you can sleep in it!)
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
Hello world, my 6 years anniversary of dating with my boyfriend is coming up and i need all the ideas and places to go celebrate! i want this to be the best romantic day ever. any suggesting ideas? Thanks (link)
|
First off, congratulations on your anniversary! It is actually my seven month anniversary today, and I thought that was a long time :P I hope we can keep our relationship strong like you have with your boyfriend.
This could be a great time to have a mini-vacation. Perhaps you could celebrate over the weekend, and get a hotel room (maybe in a nearby city where there will be lots of things to do or even in your area just to 'get away')
You could plan activities that are fun and unique to spice things up (ice skating, rock climbing,a cooking class, wine tasting etc) and have a good time.
For the romantic aspect, book reservations at a nice restaurant with a good atmosphere. You could even book a couples massage at a spa (if you stay at a nice hotel they might even have one. If your boyfriend isn't into that, make him go! He doesn't know now, but he'll love how relaxing it is. Then you could get your own massage oil and practice on each other later.
If you are in the city, chances are there are very tall sky scrapers you can climb to the top of. That can be very romantic. Perhaps there are sight seeing tours you could do in the city, like the double decker busses in New York or visiting the independence mall in Philadelphia.
Be creative with your budget and location and plan something you will both enjoy. If you don't have the time or money for a little trip, then maybe you can re-create your first date.
No matter what you do, I wish the two of you the best of luck :)
-Abby
|
|
I have a crush and he is giving me HUGE mixed signals. One day he will like touch my arm and laugh at my jokes or get really close then another he will barely speak to me! I thought he liked me back at first because he didn't start these odd actions til about a week ago (we see each other everyday) but now he is just plain out confusing me. Any advice on what I should do? Get over him? Give him time? Ask him what's up(which I hope you don't say because I don't want to put him on the spot)? (link)
|
To me, it sounds like he could be either:
A. The type of guy I consider to be a tease- they like flirting with girls for fun but usually don't have any serious intentions
B. Confused about whether he likes you or not, or if he wants a relationship or not
Or
C. Nervous about you, afraid you won't like him the way he likes you
You should try initiating some flirting with him. This will show him that you are interested, so it will make him less nervous if he sees that you might like him. Try to talk to him every day, and if you don't have his number yet, try to get it. If he makes the effort to text you, then he is definitely (At least somewhat) interested. Keep watching out for his signals.
If this goes on for to long without him making a move, you shouldn't waste anymore time on him. Ask him straight up how he feels or move on.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
Hello i won a raffle recently that said i got a free 1 hour massage from a certain chiropractic office. I've had a regular massage at a spa, and i was wondering what the difference was if there is between a regular back/tissue massage and a chiropractic massage?
Thanks (link)
|
What the person said below me is true, a spa message is more relaxing, but a chiropractic massage does not necessarily mean you will be adjusted or put in uncomfortable positions. Think of it as more of physical therapy, where they work on your muscles. I don't think you will be adjusted (Where the chiropractor manipulates your spine) but you could probably request/refuse it at your own personal preference.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
i've been wanting one of the north face jackets, but honestly, right now, i'm not willing to spend close to 200 dollars on one.
i've been looking on ebay for some really cheap, but i'm having no luck at all.
does anybody else know of a website where i can find one? or maybe a store that sells them cheaper? (link)
|
You can search online and maybe get lucky and find one for around 70$, but usually you can't ever get them in the color or size you want.
If your small enough, you can order a kids size. I got a kids large for around 80$. If your tall, thicker, or have long arms, I wouldn't recommend this, but for me it worked out since I'm petite.
Do you have any flea markets near you? Theres a couple near me that sell north faces (either knock-offs or stolen so only if you're alright with that) and they are pretty cheap (around 40$). Maybe you could get lucky at Plato's Closet or somewhere like that.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
Hi! I'm not sure what to give my girlfriend for Christmas this year. I already got her boots and a ukulele for her birthday and anniversary, but I am stuck on what to give her for Christmas!!! I was thinking of giving her a Build-A-Bear because I think it would be cute (something for a change because I always get her practical things), but I asked my sister what she thought, and she said she wouldn't like really care for it if she got it for Christmas. So now, I'm really discouraged about getting it. What do you guys think? Thanks.
My girlfriend is 20 btw, she likes playing the guitar, and she's really into cooking. Maybe that will help. (link)
|
How long have the two of you been together? Long relationships might be appropiate for a romantic gift, like jewelry. If you have a less serious, fun relationship the build-a-bear idea could be cute. You could mix the best of both worlds and put a necklace around the bears neck.
If she likes cooking, maybe you could sign the both of you up for a couples cooking class and get her a cute apron also. Be creative and think about what makes her happy.
Girls like to leave subtle hints so they get what they want but don't look pushy, so keep your eyes and ears open!
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
I am in college and I currently live about an hour away from my family. I have two younger sisters, 14 and 16, and my family is moving from Minnesota to Texas after this school year. I have really fit into my college and really like it here, I even managed to set it up where I will be able to graduate a year early. But I feel like I should be closer to my family and more importantly closer to my younger sisters to be the protective older brother. So, should I transfer schools or should I stay? (link)
|
How often do you visit your family now? If it's every weekend and it would affect you if you couldn't see them so easily, then maybe consider transfering.
If you mainly visit only on breaks then it might not be worth it to rock the boat and uproot yourself. If you love your school and already have a set plan for graduation, transfering isn't the best idea.
Consider these questions:
Are there schools near your family's new home that offer your major and your credits will transfer?
Are you good with change? Would making all new friends be hard for you?
Ultimately give this a lot of thought and go with your heart.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
my friend was afraid to say anything to her parents i would as well she told me she masterbated for along time but she started to have well problems and she didn't know what else to do and could it be possible she ended up having an std germ or something on her hands plz and thank you!! ;) (link)
|
You cannot get an STD from masturbation. They are called sexually transmitted diseases because generally you must have sexual contact (with another infected person) to get them.
I believe few STDs can be transmitted in other ways, like from a toilet seat or blood transmission (like with AIDS) but I doubt that's what your friend is going through.
She could however have problems like a yeast infection or a urinary tract infection. Those can happen when bacteria gets into the vagina. The only definite way to see if she has a problem is to see a doctor, so if the problem persists make sure your friend gets the help she needs.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
How do you get rid of loose skin around your stomach after you lost a lot of weight?
Lotion is not helping.I lost 40 pounds kind of fast and now I have loose skin around my stomach, what can make it go away?
(link)
|
You can try creams (toning creams, stretch mark creams) and give yourself a little bit of time to adjust, but many people who lost a lot of weight have to get surgery to remove the excess skin. I would consult your doctor about it.
Good luck and congrats on losing the weight!
-Abby
|
He actually said, "I don't want to be with you anymore. I want to break up. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore. It was a great experience, it's nice once and a while. But I think I finished my peak for good." :(
And no, he didn't want to get back together. He said he didn't love me anymore. He said he still liked me but it wouldn't be as difficult to get over me as much as it is to get over him. He said we'll leave it up to "fate" because whatever happens, happens.
He says he's going to be busy for the rest of his life because he's getting kicked out by the time he's 21. He wants to make A's in his next class so school was his priority. He even said his family was in the way, especially since he had to run errands everyday.
What made it worse is that he said, the reason why he came back the first time was because I would've failed 3 of my classes if he didn't come back. Partially he wanted to, but he wanted to help me go over this peak at school. He said he was planning to leave me during winter break the whole time. He tried convincing himself several times that he loved me. But now he's just tired of it all. Tired of everything in his life.
I thought it was stress, and he said possibly. But he thought about it multiple times. He says he gives up. He was so happy I handled it well, but I still cried. The reason why he thought I handled it well was because we were still cracking jokes. The thing is, he let me hold his hand and he laid next to me until I fell asleep since I won't be able to talk to him for 2 weeks, or at least until I get "over" him.
He wouldn't let me kiss him anymore. He didn't let me call him "jagiyah" anymore. He didn't want to keep our relationship status on, but he's letting me since he planned out the whole winter break. But he kissed my hand randomly, twice. He kissed me on the lips and cheek for the last time before he left. :(
I read his blog that he posted 3 days ago, saying he didn't know what to do. It sounded like he didn't exactly plan it out. But I'm not sure myself. His title was, "I don't know what to do." He was just basically saying that he was tired of everything, he didn't know what to do. He has been getting annoyed at every little thing that wasn't my fault, and he blames me for it. He said he knew it wasn't, and that it was his. He said he was trying really hard to help me on school, and that now the semester is over I no longer need him and that his job as a boyfriend is done. At the end, he stated that he was sorry for everything he was putting me through.
Not to mention that yesterday, he found out that his parents were going to kick him out by his next birthday and that yesterday night was the day he broke up with me.
I couldn't sleep. I woke up in 5 hours in denial... I knew it happened. So I cried. A memory of us, a flashback, came into my dream. I even felt sad in my dream, but I wish I could've kept sleeping because the me in my dream was happy.
As a matter of fact, I wish this whole thing was just a long dream. So I can just wake up, and be happy again... Just so I can do things the right way, relationship and school wise.
What should I do? What is going through his mind? What can I do to get over him?? Help!! (link)
|
This guy sounds like he is lost and confused in his own life. To me it looks like he realizes he is losing control, and wants to take control of the few things he can, which in this case was your relationship. To see that he 'planned' the break up is disgusting and very unfair to you. And to not allow you to talk to him is also over-controlling. He needs room to breathe and to figure out how to help himself and take control of his life.
He needs this time to figure things out, so I would back off. Maybe write him a letter explaining how you feel, but how you know he needs time, and let him know that you are there for him if he needs you. Otherwise, he doesn't seem ready to be in a relationship whether he loves you or not.
Take this time to reflect on your own life and see that you don't need him, or any guy, to make you feel special or complete you. Hang out with friends, pick up a new activity, just do things on your own and focus on YOU.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
I dnt want my period I just feel so uncomfortable so if I don't eat at ALL that will stop it. And how long do I need to go without eating?? (link)
|
Not eating will not immediately stop your period, it will only make you MORE irritable and uncomfortable during this time.
You seem to get this idea from the fact that you have to have a certain amount of body fat to menstruate, so if you are a really tiny girl or very thin you may not menstruate. Starving yourself to achieve that is unrealistic and unhealthy. Having a period is a sign that you are healthy and your body is functioning properly, so you should appreciate it even though it does seem like a pain in the butt right now.
Lay off the salt and sugar while you are on your period to skip the bloating and keep you in a good mood. Exercise, baths, and even some over the counter medicine like midol, aspirin, etc can make your period more comfortable.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
lets just say that i'm at a point in my life where nothing goes right.. every day is just blah and i really just want to get the next few weeks/months over with.. everyday i wake up thinking "ugh now i have to go through today.." i'm fairly busy. I have high school, then sports practice, then homework. but i just feel like my life is sooo boring and i have a lot of stress in my life. how do i make time go by faster? please dont say something like, you should take each day for granted because when you're older you will miss the old times.. but truth be told.. i gauruntee you that i will not miss the past because every day is so boring for me and so crazy and drama filled and lots of stress.
i know i should be thinking positive but every day i just wake up and i'm not excited to do anything and not motivated at all.. i often feel tired and lazy too.. can someone help me please? either to make time pass by faster? or to give me some motivation to get through the next few weeks?? thank you!
i'm 18 girl by the way.
(link)
|
It sounds to me like you are in a rut, and trust me I've been there before.
You need something new to spice up your life. Get excited about something. Start looking forward to the holidays! Do a polyana with friends and decorate. Maybe even volunteer at a charity.
Pick up a new hobby, try something you've always wanted to do.
Take a risk, like a new hair style or let one of your friends set you up on a date.
I've felt the same way as you, and just give it a little time and things will start looking up, I promise.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
Me- 20/f
Him- 28/m
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, and something has been bugging me a bit. Although I'm in no way ready to get married or anything, he told me he doesn't want to get married till he's 40. 35 at the very earliest. I understand we have a bit of an age difference, but I love him quite a bit. He means alot to me. Do you think it would be dumb of me to wait till he's 40ish years old to be married to him? I've always thought I would get married around 25 so idk if I would just be settling.
He and I both have well paying jobs, and were both finacially so that is not a problem at all.
Its just the waiting g period that is. (link)
|
I think the age he wants to get married at sounds a bit troubling, like he isn't prepared for commitment.
40 is a long time for both of you and if you plan on having children thats when conceiving becomes harder and pregnancies become high risk.
Ask him why he wants to wait until he's forty. What you should both be 'waiting' for is when you feel ready, secure, and committed in the relationship. There is no age limit for that. He may see marriage as frightening or confining or maybe he doesn't see your relationship at the level of marriage yet. Communication is key here, talk to him.
If he is dead set on waiting til forty, don't settle. You have your own life and shouldn't base it around someone else. You may wait that long and be let down and find yourself off track. Ultimately, do what is right for you.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
My dog got ahold of my samsung intensity cell phone from verizon. I don't have insureance on it b/c my mom didn't want to get it. There is no way I can keep using it. How much will I cost to get a new one? I got it December 10th 2009 and I have a 2 year contract on it. It got broke on November 1st 2010 and what should I do!? Can they give me a loner phone? Or something? Help! What's the cheapest repair or way to get a new fone (link)
|
I would go into your closest store. Sometimes they can give you a loaner phone for free or at a cheap cost until your contract is up. Talk to the people at the store, sometimes they can work something out for you.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|
ohkay so i wanna break up with my boyfriend bhut everytime i do he pulls me back in because i think hes cheating on me everytime he updates his status it sayss 11-3-10 and our date is 9-22-10 and hes always telling me that its his court date or his baby bro bday but it says i dont ever want to end us and its a new lie everyday and he keeps saying how he doesnt cheat on girls and he wont ever do it to me and i dont what to do anymoree (link)
|
Honestly your relationship sounds superficial and unhealthy. If he's being sketchy you have every right to end it. You don't need to let him pull you back. Whether he's lying or not YOU don't feel happy and secure, so the relationship isn't worth it for you. He sounds like a liar and immature and you don't deserve that. Trust me, hanging on will only make it more dramatic and harder to let go.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
16/F
I've had a boyfriend for about a month now and we've liked eachother forever now too. My mom doesn't know, and I think its because I'm scared to tell her. I know she wont care, cause she's my mom, and she loves me and just wants the best for me. I dont know why it makes me scared to tell her things. It's just not that that I don't tell her. I barely tell her anything. I want that to change. I love my mom dearly, but I don't know how to change. How do I do it? (link)
|
I totally understand where your coming from. It's hard for me to talk to my mom about certain subjects. When I first got my period, I was petrified to tell her. It sounds crazy now, because she's a woman and has gone through it and obviously knew I would be getting one.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I didn't know how to bring it up to my parents. I waited for it to come up into conversation to tell them. What you could do is invite your boyfriend over a few times and your mom will probably realize you like this boy and ask you about him.
Think about why you are afraid to tell her. Are you afraid she'll be angry? She won't accept it? Are you afraid to change her opinion of you? It feels awkward to me coming into my own and having my parents see me mature sometimes.
Try to talk to your moms and open up communication by asking her what it was like when her and your dad started dating. When you realize that she has gone through everything you are, it will be easier to talk to her.
It may seem scary now, but once you open up you will realize it wasn't such a big deal.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
18/F
I'm going to have sex soon but I'm scared the boy will notice my stretch marks on my inner and outer thighs and a little on my waist. So I was wondering if you guys ever notice that stuff during sex.
(link)
|
I've read in Cosmo that certain chemicals are released during sex that actually make the woman's body look better to the man at the time. Also, dim lighting is great for the mood and concealing things you don't want him to see.
Honestly, we are so much more critical of ourselves than anyone else is of us. What may seem like a huge imperfection might not even cross your guys mind. I doubt he will say anything about it to you even if he does notice, and if he's really that superficial, you don't need him.
-Abby
|
|
I'm 14/f and this guy at is school is 17/m and really wanted to have sex with me and I kept telling him no no no. We were at a party and he said he'd give me $50 to let him put it in me. I don't know what I was thinking but it didn't really sound like a bad deal because I'm not a virgin anyways so it's not that big of a deal. I let him do it with me until he cummed and then just took the money and didn't say anything else about it. Well he stopped bugging me at school and so my bff was wondering why. I finally just said he gave me $50 and I let him do it with me. She was like OMG and shocked and said that's what whores do. Sooo am I a whore or a slut or something? The weird thing is I actually liked him doing it with me and so if taking the money does make me a whore maybe I should just like give him the money back or something since I did like it too? Would that fix things? (link)
|
Technically what you did is considered prostitution, which is illegal. Taking money for sex will not give you a good reputation, so I suggest you give the money back and never do that again. Sex should be reserved for someone you really like and trust, not just for the hell of it. You don't know what kind of diseases that guy could have or who else he has had sex with. And you are VERY young to be having sex; fourteen is not mature enough at all for this. Please be careful, it doesn't seem this way now but who you have sex with can really affect your body and your emotions.
Good luck,
-Abby
|
|