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We broke up. What is going on in his mind?
He actually said, "I don't want to be with you anymore. I want to break up. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore. It was a great experience, it's nice once and a while. But I think I finished my peak for good." :(
And no, he didn't want to get back together. He said he didn't love me anymore. He said he still liked me but it wouldn't be as difficult to get over me as much as it is to get over him. He said we'll leave it up to "fate" because whatever happens, happens.
He says he's going to be busy for the rest of his life because he's getting kicked out by the time he's 21. He wants to make A's in his next class so school was his priority. He even said his family was in the way, especially since he had to run errands everyday.
What made it worse is that he said, the reason why he came back the first time was because I would've failed 3 of my classes if he didn't come back. Partially he wanted to, but he wanted to help me go over this peak at school. He said he was planning to leave me during winter break the whole time. He tried convincing himself several times that he loved me. But now he's just tired of it all. Tired of everything in his life.
I thought it was stress, and he said possibly. But he thought about it multiple times. He says he gives up. He was so happy I handled it well, but I still cried. The reason why he thought I handled it well was because we were still cracking jokes. The thing is, he let me hold his hand and he laid next to me until I fell asleep since I won't be able to talk to him for 2 weeks, or at least until I get "over" him.
He wouldn't let me kiss him anymore. He didn't let me call him "jagiyah" anymore. He didn't want to keep our relationship status on, but he's letting me since he planned out the whole winter break. But he kissed my hand randomly, twice. He kissed me on the lips and cheek for the last time before he left. :(
I read his blog that he posted 3 days ago, saying he didn't know what to do. It sounded like he didn't exactly plan it out. But I'm not sure myself. His title was, "I don't know what to do." He was just basically saying that he was tired of everything, he didn't know what to do. He has been getting annoyed at every little thing that wasn't my fault, and he blames me for it. He said he knew it wasn't, and that it was his. He said he was trying really hard to help me on school, and that now the semester is over I no longer need him and that his job as a boyfriend is done. At the end, he stated that he was sorry for everything he was putting me through.
Not to mention that yesterday, he found out that his parents were going to kick him out by his next birthday and that yesterday night was the day he broke up with me.
I couldn't sleep. I woke up in 5 hours in denial... I knew it happened. So I cried. A memory of us, a flashback, came into my dream. I even felt sad in my dream, but I wish I could've kept sleeping because the me in my dream was happy.
As a matter of fact, I wish this whole thing was just a long dream. So I can just wake up, and be happy again... Just so I can do things the right way, relationship and school wise.
What should I do? What is going through his mind? What can I do to get over him?? Help!!
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This guy sounds like he is lost and confused in his own life. To me it looks like he realizes he is losing control, and wants to take control of the few things he can, which in this case was your relationship. To see that he 'planned' the break up is disgusting and very unfair to you. And to not allow you to talk to him is also over-controlling. He needs room to breathe and to figure out how to help himself and take control of his life.
He needs this time to figure things out, so I would back off. Maybe write him a letter explaining how you feel, but how you know he needs time, and let him know that you are there for him if he needs you. Otherwise, he doesn't seem ready to be in a relationship whether he loves you or not.
Take this time to reflect on your own life and see that you don't need him, or any guy, to make you feel special or complete you. Hang out with friends, pick up a new activity, just do things on your own and focus on YOU.
Good luck,
-Abby
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