|
Relationship with Mother
16/F
I've had a boyfriend for about a month now and we've liked eachother forever now too. My mom doesn't know, and I think its because I'm scared to tell her. I know she wont care, cause she's my mom, and she loves me and just wants the best for me. I dont know why it makes me scared to tell her things. It's just not that that I don't tell her. I barely tell her anything. I want that to change. I love my mom dearly, but I don't know how to change. How do I do it?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
im going through the same thing as you girll... lol
but this is what i would do, i would take her to your rooom and close the dooor and say mom i need to tell you somthing.
then tell her. it willl bring you both closer and you will be able to talk about anything.
or you could even go out to dinnner and talk about it.
]
Hello. So, I'm going to start off by saying, I used to be just like you. I think at the age of 16 and even 17, it's hard to be close with your mother. I don't think it's just you, and I'm sure your friends have either gone through this stage or are going to go through it. My girl friends have and I have personally; it's part of growing up.
One day, I just decided I wanted to be closer with my mom. I've gone through a lot of tough stuff during the past year, and she was always there. Think of it this way: she's your mother, and she always will be. She loves you, and she always will. Friends will come and go, but moms (family, in general, of course) are forever.
Start out slowly with your mom. Start by having conversations about your day, just to get into the routine of talking more, and getting more comfortable doing so. Then, bring up bigger subjects. Talk about friends and boys, and more personal things. Then bring up your boyfriend once your comfortable. Have him over for dinner, or just for a little while so that he can meet your mom. Not only will YOU feel better about not having to keep secrets, but your MOM will feel really happy about you opening up and feeling comfortable enough and trusting her enough to share him with her. Trust me, it will mean a lot to her.
It takes time, but it's definitely a good idea to start establishing a closer relationship with your mother. And then, once you're getting older like me, you'll have a best friend all the time, whenever you need her :)
-Laura (18-f)
]
I totally understand where your coming from. It's hard for me to talk to my mom about certain subjects. When I first got my period, I was petrified to tell her. It sounds crazy now, because she's a woman and has gone through it and obviously knew I would be getting one.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I didn't know how to bring it up to my parents. I waited for it to come up into conversation to tell them. What you could do is invite your boyfriend over a few times and your mom will probably realize you like this boy and ask you about him.
Think about why you are afraid to tell her. Are you afraid she'll be angry? She won't accept it? Are you afraid to change her opinion of you? It feels awkward to me coming into my own and having my parents see me mature sometimes.
Try to talk to your moms and open up communication by asking her what it was like when her and your dad started dating. When you realize that she has gone through everything you are, it will be easier to talk to her.
It may seem scary now, but once you open up you will realize it wasn't such a big deal.
Good luck,
-Abby
]
More Questions: |