Hi, My real name is Daniel. Im an expert on youth affairs (issues) and you can ask me questions on:
Love and Relationships
Sexuality
Dating
Puberty
And anything else to do with youth/teenagers
Drop me a line!
I give advice from my point of view.
So go ahead ask me a question.
Ill give you my best advice.
See you soon.
jumadel
Gender: Male
Location: U.K, England, Greater Manchester
Occupation: Expert in Youth Issues
Age: 15
AIM: Give people expert advice for FREE!
Member Since: June 6, 2006
Answers: 432
Last Update: July 23, 2006
Visitors: 21729
Main Categories:
Love Life
Love Life
Love Life
View All
|
| |
|
what is the legal consent age for sex? some people say tis 16 and some say its 18. which one is it? (link)
| |
Hi, it depends on were you live and what law you obide by. It is usually between 14-18 in most states and countries. Daniel.
|
|
Iam 17 and I think I may be pregnant and my parents said if I get pregnant before I finish highschool they will kick me out and I have no where else to go besides my parents what should I do?please help me! (link)
| |
Hi, first of all you really need to see a Docter and get a pregnancy test. I don't think your parents are being very helpful but I can understand what that this must be a shock for them. I recomend that you sit down with your mum and dad and decide wether or not to have the baby and if you do, make some rules and changes and just work things out together. If you do have a baby, you do realise that it can affect your schooling, work, future career, social life and freedom very badly and it is such a huge responsibility. It can be 24/7 work and can be very stressful. Your parents might not want a baby in their house, and you would have to move out and get a job to keep up the rent and at the same time look after the baby. It is such a huge responsibility and I would deffinately have a long chat with your parents about it. You might want to have a talk to the person who got you pregnant in the first place. Feel free to get back to me and I can help you further. It is good to also know people at this stage of your life. Daniel.
|
Hi I'm Adam and 16 Years old. heres my question:
I like (ok love) this girl. I have tried working some kind of relationship out with her but she didnt want it. Shes not dating anyone and she likes me as a friend alot. I want her so bad though. Shes the only one I want and nothing will make me change that. What is there I can do to make her go for me?
(link)
|
Hi, first of all are you sure you LOVE her, because if you havn't known her very long and like her alot then it is most likely LUST. Too be honest with you, there isn't really a right way that you could attract a girl. Girls can get attracted by boys when:
1. Smiling and have good looks
2. Show an interest in her
3. Have lots of mates around you
4. Have a nice personality and very sweet
There really isn't much you can do but to show her who you really are. You don't have to wear posh clothes or to be rich and have alot of money or good looks. The only thing you can do, and I know that you keep hearing this but to be yourself. There is however one way you can do it. You've got to create the opportunity e.g. go up and talk to her, then invite her out somewhere. If you do that then really it will either be yes or no and either way you will find out. You need to create the opportunity. Another way is to smile and perhaps give a little wink, or brush your hair back with your hand and of course make eye contact. In other words do a bit of flirting, and most of all show her that your interested. Good luck!!! Daniel.
|
|
I'm 16/f, and there is this guy, we'll call him Shane, who is 17. He was really sweet to me, and told one of my friends (also his friend) that he liked me, and I thought that I liked him too. He invited me to his house for dinner with his family one night, and afterwards we were in his basement, watching a movie, and we made out. This was my first makeout experience, too. He didn't call or attempt to contact me at all for three days. Then, when we finally talked, he said that he didn't think it was a good idea for him to date this summer (he had broken up with his girlfriend of 7 months about a month ago). He said he'd rather be friends with benefits. I really didn't want that kind of relationship though, so I said no, and he said we'd just be friends. A little less than a week later I found out from the same friend who had told me that Shane liked me that he'd had THREE OTHER GIRLS in his basement, making out with them. I feel so cheap and used, and all my friends are really upset with him too. Shane and I don't really talk anymore. I'm too mad to even IM him, and he doesn't seem to care enough to even IM me either. It has been a few weeks since I found this all out, but it still infuriates me. Should I tell Shane how I feel, that I feel used? (I can't tell him that I know about the other girls, because the friend wasn't supposed to even tell me about them.) I really don't want to play the clingy girl role...PLEASE HELP! (link)
|
Hi, if you are looking for a relationship with the guy, then it isn't really looking that good is it? You have every right to tell him how you feel, and it does sound as though he is using you especially if he has another 3 girls that he likes. There are some guys out there who want all the girls and sometimes want them for the sex and what they can offer, so just be very careful on this one. It's a good job that your friends are keeping an eye on you. Thats good, but now that you've found out that he has another 3 girls, what are you going to do?
a) Try and make the relationship work with him
b) Just have nowt to do with him, because you feel used
c) Talk to him about the situation, then here his side of the story.
Both c and b sound good choices. Try and listen to what he might have to say about it. After all he is a typical male. Daniel.
|
|
well everyone always says guys love when girls have confidence and they get turned off by selfconcious girls..well im really selfconcious and i have confidence about my personality but not looks-wise and sometimes i accidentally complain about my looks to my boyfriend..or he ll catch me looking at my reflection in any kind of object that shows it..im afraid he might break up with me because guys want girls to have confidence and i think it bothers him alot! how do i stop being so selfconcious and show him that my confidence is growing?(if it does) (link)
| |
Hi, maybe less time in the the mirror and more having fun, and showing how much you love each other. If he can't accept that you are a nice girl who show's him alot of affection and makes him happy and be a true friend to him, then that is his problem. Confidence is quite a big thing, but as long as you have things like honesty, respect, love and a fun relationship then that's all that really matters. Just be yourself and don't worry about it. Girls that worry alot or always looking in the mirror to see if there hair is neat or looking beautiful can actually sometimes frighten boy's off. Just be yourself. Daniel.
|
|
how long is a guys penis when he's 15? (link)
| |
Hi, it depends, it can vary, but it could be roughly something like 20-40 cm. Daniel.
|
ok....so me and my ex just started "dateing" not going out..dateing..I dont really like this idea cause it means we could make out and he can makeout with another girl and I just have to deal..we say we love eachother..but if tats true why wont he ask me out??
help!!!!!
(link)
|
Hi, it some how doesn't sound very much like love really. Specially if he is making out with another girl. There could be loads of reasons why he isn't asking you, here are some possible reasons:
a) He is just too nervous and shy
b) He is having second thoughts
c) He feels he loves this other girl more
d) He just doesn't feel comfortable with going out with you yet.
Boy's tend to feel really nervous about asking girls out. It is a fact really. Really unless you ask him out, you are likely to be waiting a while. Other wise just wait until he might ask you out. It may be a while though. Daniel.
|
My boyfriends birthday is very far away [october]
but I keep TRYING to think of stuff to get him but i dont know what im thinking of concert tickets but i dont know..
he gave me a very expensive camera and i dont want to give him a petty gift
HELP! (link)
| |
Hi, I recommend that you look closely for the next 3-4 months at what he likes doing (interests, hobbies) and you know, just see what he would like. For example you might go out with him somewhere and he might see this shirt he really likes, do you know what I mean? Just have a close look at him and what his interests are. Most of all suprise him. Im sure you will get something for him that is good. Daniel.
|
|
sorry if this isn't in the right category, but making out.. i don't understand. do you like move your tongue around int the others persons mouth? and if it's like your first time... will they like 'lead' or something? i don't want to be known as a bad kisser or anything. i've kissed before, just not made out. (link)
| |
Hi, making out is the same as making love. It involves lots of kissing and cuddling and things like french kissing and all the mushy stuff. Before you start making out, perhaps it would be a good idea if you told each other what you like and just sit back and try and enjoy. No one is a 100% good kisser, and it's not about getting it right, it's about having fun and showing each other that you care, and love each other. Daniel.
|
How do I better my social skills?
I'm pretty shy and I have a fear that people are always judging me which makes it hard for me to approach new people and talk to them and make new friends.
Also its hard to show to a boy I have interest in him, when its so difficult for me to start a conversation with him or have small talk.
It seems like the only time I'm really social and talkative to people I don't really know is after I've had a few drinks.
So how do I over come my shyness and insecurities so I can meet new people and be comfortable around them? (link)
|
Hi, there is only one way that you can talk to people. And that's to just do it. To get a boyfriend or just to talk, you've got to create the opportunity. In other words you've got to start a conversation, which I call creating the opportunity. Another way is to just wait around for people to talk to you, but it won't get you very far really. When your talking to someone remember these 3 tips:
1. Compliments
2. Open questions
3. Small talk
It is difficult, believe me, but the more you interact and socialize the less shy you become. The first move though is to say something like "hi, it's a nice day today isn't it?". It sounds to me as though you want a boyfriend. If you just wanted to be friendly then say a little hi and smile. Your young and have got everything to gain and little to lose. If your old enough you could go to a night club and chat men up there. The night club is a really good place to talk and you have lets say "high possibility" of talking to someone. Put it mathematically:
Confidence + Create opportunity = conversation
Thats all you've got to do. If it doesn't go the way you want the first time, then try again. You will meet someone one day and you will do anything you can to have him. If you want to flirt then just talk to a guy and smile alot and give him a wink. Another good way to show your interested is by tossing your hair back and really look interested and smile heaps. I'm sure you have a nice smile. Daniel.
|
|
I am a female gonna be 20 next month.Me and that guy we've been together for 4 months.In the beginning it was so beautiful we were like 2 little birds but by the end of may everything change even if i call him he does'nt wanna stay on the phone with me, not only that but everything change about him.I ask him to break up he doesn't wanna,he said dat he still has the same love that he had the 1st day we have met.Do you think he got another girl or wat?Cuz I don't know wat to do (link)
|
Hi, there could be a number of possibilities why he is acting so strangely:
1. He's got another girl on his mind right now
2. Work/school isn't going to well right now
3. He isn't feeling to well right now
4. He is still figuring things out and maybe he's having second thoughts
The only way that your going to find out is by going round there and asking him how you feel. Thats the only way your going to find out. If you don't ask him then you are going to be left with lots of question marks in your mind? If you ask him, then at least you know, right. Beware aware when your asking him the place and time. Go round to his house and say something like "we need to talk" and take it from there. You will be glad that you did. Daniel.
|
|
Me and my ex-boyfriend (first love) might try to try it again and see if it works this time. I still love and care about him. But there's another guy who I like and he likes me as well and wants to be with me. He hasn't caused me nearly as much pain as my ex (actually he hasn't caused me any) but I don't know who to choose or what to do? I love my ex even though it's been over a year since we broke up, but I also am starting to catch feelings for this new guy. Please help me . I will rate (link)
|
Hi, ask yourself these questions:
Who has the qualities that I want out of the man? e.g. humour, kindness
Which one of them really feels the same way as I do about them?
Which one do I feel I love the most?
Do I know what love and lust is? And if so, who do I feel the love for?
Don't confuse the love for lust thing. If you want an honest opinion I think you might as well have another crack with your ex. Who know's things might work out better the next time round. If you begin a relationship with the new guy, it gives you another chance to meet someone totally new. It works either way but you can't choose both of them. Who does your heart really go out for the most? Do you want to:
a) Have another crack at it with your ex?
b) Start all over again and meet someone different?
If you answered a) then you still want to have a shot at things with your ex. If you answered b) then you want a fresh new start with someone else. Answer them very carefully and it should help you to decide. Asking ourselves questions can give a more clearer understanding of what we want and can help us in some cases make the right choice. Work it all out, wether it's doing mindmaps or brainstorms. It helps alot. Daniel.
|
Hey!
So my boyfriend and I have been just about everywhere there is to go as far as dates are concerned. We've done the dinner and a movie thing a million times, we go to Barnes&Noble/Starbucks for books and coffee, etc., but it's all getting dull.
There aren't any museums in town except for an art museum, but we've already been there!
If you have any date ideas involving food, books, or the like, I'd greatly appreciate your helpful advice!
Neither my boyfriend nor I can drive, and we're not of drinking age. =) (link)
|
Hi, have you tryed these?:
1. Beach
2. Picnic in park
3. Library
4. Shopping
5. Lie down under the stars and have a really nice time chatting under a warm blanket. Have a few cans of coke and tell him that you like him.
Number 5 sounds good. Hope that helped you. Daniel.
|
|
Last night my boyfriend and I were laying on the couch and he was fingering me and we were having a lot of fun. We've been dating about 3 months now. Last night, he told me he wanted to have sex with me, but I explained to him that he should lose his virginity to someone he loves and to someone who is very special to him. Then he told me he loved me and that was the first time he's ever said it to me. After about 20 minutes of thinking and talking, I said I loved him back but I wasnt ready for sex. I know hes the one i've fell for the hardest and I do care about him and he's wonderful, but I'm scared im not really in love with him. I know he's serious about things and he'd never lie and he always says whats on his mind, so i know he does love me. How do I tell him that i dont know if we're in love or not? (link)
|
Hi, the simple answer is no really. Basically because you don't sound very sure and if your not sure on something then you shouldn't do it. You must ask yourself:
Do I like him for his looks and what he's got?
Do I really feel the urge to have sex desperately?
If I do have sex and I know Im not sure, what could the consequences be later?
Do I know what love and lust is, and if I do which one matches how I feel towards him?
If you can clear these questions up then really it proves that you are a grown up girl because you are using what's up there first and not what feels good. Be careful and don't do anything that your not sure on. Daniel.
|
Ok so I'm 16/f, and I feel really weird because most of my friends have done something, and I've barely even kissed.
Everyone I meet is always like 'how can you still be a virgin?' and it feels a bit uncomfortable.
The things is that I always hear older people say to keep it, that they regret doing it in the first place, but why? My friends dont seem to regret it. And almost no guy would go out with someone who's not sexually active. At least no guy I've come across thinks differently.
What should I do? (link)
|
Hi, alot of older people rushed into sex not realising that they could get a girl pregnant. Of course once the girl delivers a baby it can ruin their:
1. Social life
2. School and exams
3. Future career
4. Freedom to do what they want
I suppose that's what they are trying to say. Although these days contraception is a big thing and many people are using it. You will have sex when you feel as though you want to and have known a guy for a while as a boyfriend. It is simple, have sex when you want to. Not when your friends or family want you to. It's really that simple. Daniel.
|
Okay my friend is 14, soon to be 10th grader and her boyfriend is a senior. So she's having sex. Her parents don't know.. but she has NO problem flaunting it around everywhere.
She's doing it because she thinks she's in love and she doesn't want to be alone. Being alone is her biggest fear so she latches onto any good guy, you know? I've known her for 5 years and I've seen it over and over.
And a couple of people think her boyfriend is only in on the sex.
They have only been going out for about 6 months.
Should I try to talk to her? Or talk to her parents?
Because she keeps hurting herself.
And I've seen her cry in her sleep and it bothers me..
She's going way too far and I don't want her to get hurt. (link)
| |
Hi, yes deffinately be there for her. This is quite common for some girls. Some girls want guys that badly and they will go to all the extremes just to keep them. The guy's pick that up and start taking advantage of them. They can be worried sick and frightened of losing the guy which means it can cause alot of sadness and anxiety. The problem with love is it can be awarding but then again it can really hurt us, emotionally. She is quite young to be having sex and really all you can do is try and talk to her and be there for her when she needs you the most. It is quite likely in her situation that she's going to keep on getting hurt very bad and I would give her plenty of hug's and really show her that there is someone out there who likes her. If this guy is after sex, then shame on him. Try and give your friend all the advice you can give her. She might ignore you but will lately find out what you've told her for herself. All you can do is give her advice but the choices and what she does is up to her. Love does hurt, but being lonelly can hurt even more. Daniel.
|
|
I'm 17 and my boyfriend will be turning 19 soon. We have been together for several months, but this is the first birthday that has come during our relationship. I have no idea what to get him! I know whatever I get him should come from the heart & be sentimental but I was thinking things along the line of a few tshirts he likes, gift cards, a new wallet, cologne, things like that. Any ideas/suggestions would be great appreciated! (link)
|
Hi, here are some suggestions:
1. DVD'S or video's
2. T-shirts
3. Jeans or pant's
4. Anything sporty
5. Something that involves his hobbies or interests
6. Deodrant or shower gel
7. Watch or necklace
8. CD'S
9. Wallet with a $20 note in it
10. Take him out for a nice meal
Hope I've given you plenty of options. Daniel.
|
|
Ok so I am a 16 year old guy. I dated this one girl for about eleven months. I thought everything was fine but she dumped me. I still liked her though. And I told her this many times but she always told me that she needed time to sort out her feelings, which was fine, I understood. After a few months of this I realized she probably wouldn't like me again so I moved on. I recently found a new girl and she is great. I love talking to her and she is just plain wonderful. Then all of a sudden my ex starts telling me how my new girlfriend is a slut, and that I'm only dating her to get laid, which is totally untrue. Anyway, she tells me that she never really did stop liking me and that she broke up with me so our relationship wouldn't be hurt, and that's stupid in my opinion. Anyways, I'm not going to give up the relationship I have now, but I have been friends with my ex my whole life and I don't want to lose her as a friend. What should I do? (link)
|
Hi, your ex should have informed you alot more on her feelings and should have gived you more info on how she feels. If you and your ex are back to being just friends, then you both can date who you like. She might be saying that this girl isn't right for you because:
a) This girl has got a bad reputation
b) She knows this girl well and is informing you on what she's like
c) Your ex is jelouse that you've moved on and she hasn't
I can't see why you can't just date this girl and remain friends with your ex. Put it this way, if your ex is jelouse of you going out with this girl then she must still have feelings for you. If she did have feelings for you she would make it clear to you, right? All you can do is just date who you like but tell your ex that you like her alot and you would like to be very close friends with her. If she can't accept that and move on then really it's her loss. If she really liked you she would admire your friendship with her. It's up to her wether or not she want's to drag up the past or move on being your friend. Having a friend is better than having no one at all, believe me. Daniel.
|
|
My dad is watching porn right now. He does every night because we have lots of channels and at night theres porn. I know for SURE because Ive walked in on him before. And I can see from here. He thinks hes hiding it but hes not. Should I tell my mom my dad watches porn?! what do i do. Ive never told anyone, because its awkward and i dont want my friends to not want to come over my house because they feel weird around my dad. hes a really nice dad/man! I WONT confront him about it, so if you say do that Ill give you a 1..sorry. (link)
|
Hi, when you reach mid-life it is quite common for men to think back to when they were young and start to like the younger generation. I think it's because they are getting a bit older were as it is exciting to them to see the hot new generation of young women stepping up. It can make them quite excited. This is quite common. He is likely to be going through his mid-life crises now and in a way it might feel like he's a teenager again. Mid-life men can act like a teenager at times because they can feel lot's of lust and feel horny towards the younger generation of women. It can possible be because they are:
a) Young
b) Sexually arousing
c) Hot or sexy and have got alot to offer e.g. sex, good looks
there is no need to confront your dad or your mum about it. Just leave him to deal with his mid-life time. The best part about having a father is:
a) Have been a teenager before
b) Good to talk about teen issues
c) Can give you his side of experience
Don't worry about it. It is quite likely that he's going through a mid-life crises. He is an adult and can freely watch whatever he likes. This issue is between him and your mum and you have no reason to join any part in this. Daniel.
|
Hi, I'm Agnes, the girl who asked you about me and my friend Max yesterday. If I was to tell him how I feel, how would I tell him? I want to tell him without feeling nervous, and when I get nervous, I can't tell things the way I want to, so when I start to tell him, what would you think is the best way to tell him? Like what would I say specifically? Please give me some examples.
Thank-you. (link)
|
Hi, you could invite him round to your room.
Then you could start by saying "Max, have I ever told you that I like you?". He will then reply yes or no then using eye contact continue by saying something like "The thing is, we have known each other for a while now and will here it goes, would you like to be my boyfriend?" Then tell him how you feel about him. This is the only way your going to tell him how you really feel. Remember these tips when talking to him:
1. Be confident
2. Use eye contact
3. Tell him really really honestly
4. Talk slowly and take your time
5. Make show it's the right place at the right time
6. Smile, show him that you mean it
The only way to ever let someone know how you truely feel about them is by just telling them.
You've just got to do it or it will simply never be done. The longer you leave it the more nervous you'll become. Good luck!!! Daniel.
|
|