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I got used


Question Posted Sunday July 2 2006, 1:24 am

I'm 16/f, and there is this guy, we'll call him Shane, who is 17. He was really sweet to me, and told one of my friends (also his friend) that he liked me, and I thought that I liked him too. He invited me to his house for dinner with his family one night, and afterwards we were in his basement, watching a movie, and we made out. This was my first makeout experience, too. He didn't call or attempt to contact me at all for three days. Then, when we finally talked, he said that he didn't think it was a good idea for him to date this summer (he had broken up with his girlfriend of 7 months about a month ago). He said he'd rather be friends with benefits. I really didn't want that kind of relationship though, so I said no, and he said we'd just be friends. A little less than a week later I found out from the same friend who had told me that Shane liked me that he'd had THREE OTHER GIRLS in his basement, making out with them. I feel so cheap and used, and all my friends are really upset with him too. Shane and I don't really talk anymore. I'm too mad to even IM him, and he doesn't seem to care enough to even IM me either. It has been a few weeks since I found this all out, but it still infuriates me. Should I tell Shane how I feel, that I feel used? (I can't tell him that I know about the other girls, because the friend wasn't supposed to even tell me about them.) I really don't want to play the clingy girl role...PLEASE HELP!

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jumadel answered Sunday July 2 2006, 8:51 pm:
Hi, if you are looking for a relationship with the guy, then it isn't really looking that good is it? You have every right to tell him how you feel, and it does sound as though he is using you especially if he has another 3 girls that he likes. There are some guys out there who want all the girls and sometimes want them for the sex and what they can offer, so just be very careful on this one. It's a good job that your friends are keeping an eye on you. Thats good, but now that you've found out that he has another 3 girls, what are you going to do?

a) Try and make the relationship work with him
b) Just have nowt to do with him, because you feel used
c) Talk to him about the situation, then here his side of the story.

Both c and b sound good choices. Try and listen to what he might have to say about it. After all he is a typical male. Daniel.

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x0ricanchica answered Sunday July 2 2006, 1:37 pm:
guys can be such AH's!! thats really messed up how he said he liked you and all that...and it sux how SO many guys are like that because there are a few who arent and all the ones who are make them ALL seem like jerks..anyways, i think you should tell him how you feel and let him know that what he did hurt you...and you dont have to say anything about the other girls (like the person b4 me said) just tell him how he made you feel even if hes still a jerk after that at least you'll probably feel better for letting it out.

-Rosemarie-

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crazyme6 answered Sunday July 2 2006, 3:25 am:
Shane sounds like a complete jackass to start with. the feeling of being used is completely terrible..and the fact that he said he liked you but then told you he wanted a friends with benefits relationship is SCREWED UP. i think that you should tell shane that you feel used and dont understand why he said he liked you but didnt wanna have a real relationship and that you think that was really wrong to do..you dont have to mention the other girls just let him known what he did to YOU made you feel really bad. youre not being clingy by sharing your feelings with him, so dont worry about that! its much much better to get it off your chest and tell him than holding it inside..and possibly you could be the girl that makes him wanna change and stop using girls! sorry my answer is so long..i hope i helped!

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