about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.



advice

My friend gave my number to the guy that I like and he said that he would definitely call me. If he calls me, I know that I'll get nervous and freeze up. In case he does call, how do I stop myself from being nervous and how can I calm down?

I usd tog et tlike this too, a great thing to do is write a list of all the things you can talk about so here arent any awkward silences because you'll have your list infront of you when he rings so you can just bring up these things into conversation

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so i am very uncomfortable about talking to my mom about "girl things". how do i tell my mom that i need a razor? please help i rate 5.

if you feel uncomfortable you can just add it to her shopping list, or write her a note before you leave for school "please can you get me some razors", thankyou" i used to do that with my mum x

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alright.
my friend met this guy. a couple of monthes later they got back in touch with each other. and she was talking about him non-stop about how much she likes him. well, this week they were planning on getting together again and hanging out. she had called him earlier in the week and they both decided to get together. well the "get together" day is today. she has called him twice and the first time the signal was busy and the second time it was the answering machine. and now the day is almost done and she's become really upset and in tears about this guy. i just can't find the words to comfort her. she's really upset about this guy and i need help on what to say.
thanks.

I had the exact same thing happen to me when i was about 14, i was so totally in love with this guy. I just hung out with my girly friends though and had a really good bitch about him and had lots of girly chat which really helped :-)

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13/m
For the second time, i develoed a crush on my best friend, who is almost4 years older than me, should I tell her? I am hesitating because its a bit redundant and hopeless, and the last time i was in love with her, and was rejected, i was sent in a depression to the point i wasn't like myself, and our friendship was a bit f a mess {from my point of veiw} Is it still a good thing to confess?

i wouldnt tell her because she is 17 years old, she'll be an adult soon and to be honest, if i was 17, i wouldnt look twice at a 13 year old boy and i very highly doubt that she will too.
You've already had her reject you before, probably due to the age difference and it threatend your friendship, i think if you tell her it will mess up your friendship again or even put a stop to it, so just enjoy having her as your bestfriend otherwise you could lose her.
Crushes are normal when you are growing up so dont worry about it, i know it;'s hard because you love her so much but it's best to be her bestfriend than tell her and not have her in your life at all x

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13/f
About 7 months ago I went into this mood where I was all pissed all the time and I was all gothic for a while and I was into all this rock music and things I even made my room black (black curtains, bedspread, area rug etc…) I was always wearing a hoodie and I was in my room from when I came home from school until I woke up to go back the next morning. Okay so about a month ago you would find me in my room (still has the black in it but I’m out of the gothic phase)…I’d still be having these mood swings and I’d just fight with someone (verbally) because I liked the way I felt when I was screaming at someone or something along that…and it was kind of weird…and then I’d lock myself in my room and blast some music. now I’m here and I still go through my stages where I’ll lock myself in my room but at times I’ll be super happy and hyper and then 5mins later I’ll be all pissed off or start thinking and go in my room be all depressed and stuff…then in a little while I’ll come out of my room and act like nothing ever happened and be happy and stuff again…I guess I was just wondering if this is something that a lot of people go through or is it like not a good thing…I mean I know constant mood swings aren’t good and fell like I cant go up to my parents and be like hey I’m havin major mood swings what do I do about it?…because when my mom found out I had anxiety she just like laughed in my face about it so I guess I’m just scared of I go to her she will do the same thing.
- thanks ( and yeah…sorry if I sound weird or crazy or something...)

It's normal teenage stuff. Yor 13 so your going through all kinds of changes. i was really horrible between the ages of 13 and 16, mood swings, shouting, swearing, being really nasty to my mum. it's just normal, don't worry x

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Okay, so I have the boyfriend, he's not the best. & I want to break up with him. Another reason why it because it's almost summer, I want to be free for summer, and maybe date some other people.

The only problem is, HOW? I mean, I'm not the type that does it herself, right in front of everyone in the hallway. But I also don't want to be the one that has to ask her friend to tell him for me. I don't think I can do it in 3 days before school ends, So it's going to have to be over the phone.

I just do want to break him down emotionally. I want to let him down easy, but either way he might be in tears. I don't want to make him sad, but I know that I have to break up with him. It's going to be so awkward. Please help.

Thanks in advance.

you have 3 days, so you can do it face to face, dont take the cowards way out and do it over the phone, ive had that done to me once and it was awful, so do it face to face.
just get him alone, and sit down with him and gently tell him that your feelings have changed and that you think it's best to break up with him because you dont want to pretend everythings ok when its not.
over the phone is so harsh, so do it your self, alone and in person.

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Okay so im going out w/ this guy and my dad says i have to break up with him! and i like completley LOVE him and i dont want to...
but i dont want to get in even more trouble with him then i already am...
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

PLEASE help

Confused.

i think the first thing you need to do is find out from your dad why you have to break up from him, what is it he doesnt like about your boyfriend?

Going behind your dads back is going to make him very very angry when he finds out and he'll have no trust in you.

i've been there, well it was my boyfriends dad who split us up and when he found out we were together again he went absolutely mad, it wasnt pretty! it just made things 10 times worse so if your dads hell bent on keeping you apart for good reason, such as you are too young, he's oo old, he's a bad influence, your boyfriend doesnt respect you ect then i'd listen to him if i were you and do as he says.

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My boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 wonderful months. he is the best, and i cant even describe him. though the other day, he talked to me about engagement, which i am quite excited for. though me and him would have to keep it on the downlow for i am going to be 16 and he will be 18. he isnt going to ask for awhile yet(falltime or beyond that time, hes thinking), he just brought it up because he wanted to see how i felt about it. i actually feel wonderful about it and i feel very ready. i love this man with all my heart and have never felt this way about someone before. i dont have much of a family, but him and his family makes up for it. im not reallt needing advice, cause i know id say yes in a heartbeat, but am i crazy for being excited at 16 y/o and i know it will be easy to hide from my parents because i hide everything from them, but is this a ridculous decision?!? thanks alot

i'm fine with your rating and thats your opinion, i wasnt saying dont get engaged as i was myself at your age, im saying if you do, then clear it with your parents first so theres no big fall outs later on when they do find out. They should be fine with it especially since they got engaged when they were your age.
i know your in love and engagment is a happy time, it will be horrible if you have to keep it a big secret from your parents who should be sharing this special time with you.

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my boyfriend lives in a different sity than i do. he comes to see me alot though but he has to work and he wont be back here untill the end of the summer and i hardly got to see him when he was here for the weekend and he almost never calls me and when he does or when i call him we only talk for a few mins then he says ""i got to go ill call you later" but he never calls. dont get me wrong i love him and he says he loves me but im so confused (by the way this is my first boyfriend.) and he makes it seem like he doesnt like to hang out with me like he would rather hang out with his friends than me. and im gonna miss him when hes gone for the summer and it would be easy for him to cheat too and he might cheat on me because hes cheated before. sorry theres not much of a question but i just need advice on this im thinking about breaking up with him but i love him and i dont want to im just confused PLEASE give me some advice on how to make this relationship better thank you so much ill rate and commnt to whoever leaves me good advice tips.

I'm sorry but it doesnt seem like his heart in is your relationship at all, it doesnt sound like he loves you and he's cheated on you before, if his heart isnt in it then chances are he will cheat again.
It's just that, if he loves you, you would see you you as much as he can, he would call you and talk to you and text you as much as possible and he wouldnt have cheated on you if he loved you.

i know its hard because you love him, but you need to see him and talk to him and see where you stand with him, if he wont come and see you and he wont ring you or talk to you for long then it doesnt seem like he cares about you or your relationship.

dont let him treat you like this, you dont even trust him anyway, you cant have a good relationship without trust, if he wont meet you or talk to you then i'd dump him. you deserve alot better, a propper boyfriend who is there and treats you right...your "boyfriend" at the moment isn't boyfriend material, and may not even think of you as his girlfriend.

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My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 11 months. We are together almost everyday. My problem is, I hate when we aren't together. When he can't hang out, I get really upset and I like, minupulate him to come see me. I don't know what is wrong with me! I can never give him space. I feel bad and I try to change but I can't. How should I stop? Does anyone else have this problem? By the way- I would hang out with my friends but they are gone away for the summer.

This is perfectly normal, but it can break relationships up too. You need some distractions and your own hobbies to keep the ralationship healthy.
So when he goes out, distract your self with walks, especially if you have a dog to take out, movies, make cd's, make art, go out for the day, go shopping.
Just anything you can do to stop yourself calling him or trying to get him to come and see you.
see if you can get ideas of hobbies and things to do from the internet.
I've been there and believe me, its very important that you have your own hobbies to keep your relationship alive and healthy so he doesnt feel trapped. if you think you are being too clingy then chances are, he's going to feel that too at some point.

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im 14/f and my friend is hooking me up with this guy and we've been talking online but no matter how much i try to get off the subject hes always like what will you let me do to you the 1st time we meet will you let me finger you n all that shit
and im like really uncomfertable because i never kiss a guy before and i feel like different
should i meet this guy or is he just using me for head

please help
ill rate 5 no matter what

Don't meet him! Your 14 years old, just a child, i'm guessing he's older than you. He's only wanting sex, please dont meet him, if you do, who knows what he'll do to you, he sounds like a piedophile.

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ok i am 13 years old and my breast are a 38C! they hurt and they hang too. one of my breasts is bigger than the other and it is kind of noticeable. my mom said that when i turn 18 i can get a reduction because by the looks of it now they are going to keep growing. i dont want really small breast i want then to be big but not heavy like they are now. and right now they are triagular shaped insted of round. i want then to be round but not really small. i dont want anything less than a BIG B cup. but no bigger than DD cup. so do you think i should get a reduction when im older or keep them big?

Well you cant have surgery until you are older, all i can suggest right now is that you get some really good support bras and you can also get ones that make your breasts look abit smaller too

this is a great site, they have bra sizes upto 56FF
http://www.figleaves.com/uk/home.asp

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Me and my best freind are really close. Like I hug her whenever I see her in the hallways and stuff, and people keep joking about us being lesbians cuz we're always together and stuff. But like she sleeps over my house alot, and we sleep in the same bed, like hugging eachother kind of. Im not sure how to explain it. Most of them time we just lie there next to eachotehr talking. I like being close to her though. I dont know if this is weird or anything or means im a lesbian or somthing.

I wouldnt worry, when me and my best friend were still at school we used to do that stuff too, not sleep at eachothers houses but snuggle upm hug, joke about being lesbians because we were so close, were always flirty but its just abit of fun and it's not to be taken seriously.
Just dont worry about it, it's perfectly normal :-)

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okay 2 nights ago i had some friends over and we decided to drink, and we all got really really really drunk. anyway, i found out that i called the boy i have a huge crush on and left a message telling him i like him. right now im talking to him on aim and he hasnt said anything. do you think hes not bringing it up because he has no feelings for me? or he doesnt know what to say?
im not really sure if i should like ask him if he got the message or apologize or tell him whats going on or whatever.. what should i do?!

How do you know you rang him? If he hasnt said anything then i'm guessing your friends have told you. I dont think you should say anything to him just incase your friends are just joking.
I think if you had rang him then he would have said something to you, if you didnt and you apologise he's going to know that you like him anyway.

i'd leave it if i were you.

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K my bff is 14 f just like me. Like a week ago we were talking my friend seemed upset. I asked her what was wrong and she asked if I could see a lump though her bra. I said no, but I can sorta see it if i look she said she had a golf ball sie lump on her brest and is freking out, I don't know what to do she won't tell anyone and I think it would be akward for me to anyone help!

Chances of it being breast cancer are very very slim, my friend was about 15 when she had a golf ball like lump in her breast, it was just a cyst.
they are very common, she should just go to the doctor and they will tell her the best thing to do. it wont need an operation though and it's not a serious thing.

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my boyfriend asked me if i wanted sex i said 13 was way to young to have sex and i wasn't ready! he said that that was ok and he could wait! but my friend said when she got drunk at a party the had sex! shes's apoliged and i've forgiven her! but i asked max ( my boyfriend) if he had cheated on me and he said NO WHO WOULD GIVE U THAT IDEA!! i'm really heard and wanna explain i no and dump him but i want to to it in a way which will heard him like he heard me! i no thats sounds meen but my best mate! how could he!! what should i do? be crule? our just leave?

sorry sweet but if he cheated on you then he doesnt love you, which means you cant hurt him, he wont feel hurt or upset if you dump him if he doesnt care about you.

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omg i am sooo scared. i think my boyfriend is mad at me i just don't know why. we were in pe and stuff and we were playing softball but we aren't on the same team and we were playing against other teams and stuff and when we were on the way back to the gym i called his name and he turned in looked then looked away and kept on walking. Then i'm trading lockers with one of my friends that's a guy and he saw me putting stuff in the locker and he just walked right passed me. I don't know if i should say something to him or not. I'm just really scared that he might get even more mad if i do ask him that question. things like this are so confusing.

When you see him just smile and say "hi" then just say "is everything ok with us?"

its better than not knowing, he might not have seen you before or may just have been busy talking with his friends.

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See i have this little problem i'm 14/f and i sorta had a moment and well my grandparents are always telling me that i should never waste my self and stuff like that.... so u see my problem is that i might be pregnant but i am afraid to tell them cause they told me that that would praticaly disown me if i ever did so what should i do? my boyfriend wants help me and is afraid to tell his mum.... so umm yeah what should we do?

Before you say anything, first you need to find out for certain whether you are pregnant, theres no point in alarming anyone if your not pregnant.

So go to your doctor first and they will tell you for certain, then you can think about what to do next.

if you are, then talk to your doctor about your options and tell your parents/guardian (whoever you live with or feel closest to in your family).

If you arent pregnant then there's no need to worry and next time WEAR A CONDOM!

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I'm naurally quite slim but i dont think im that fit/healthy.
Because of that, i have started going to the gym to make me healthier, but the thing is, i dont wanna lose weight, so how can i keep fit and healthy but not lose weight?

The staff at your gym will tell you exactly what you want to know, they are trained to know about what exercises will do what to you body so ask them.
Alot of people on here will be as helpful as they can be but unless they are a proffessional it's usually just guess work.

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Hi I'm 15/f
and I weigh 148 lbs, and i am around 5'7''
and I want to go down to 130 lbs, and I know its not easy because I used to be over 170 lbs but I exercised through out all year, losing some, gaining back some, then losing some more.

But since its summer again, (because i started exercising last summer), I want to try to see if I can lose 10 pounds, or maybe 8 pounds before school starts again.

This is my plan...

eat all three meals, but dont have anything that isnt meal. as in No junk food whatsoever, no soda, no nothing. Maybe except for fruits and veggies, on occasion.

and get up early in the morning, around 6:30 to do these 2 abs exercises i got from Seventeen magazine(they are not long. it maybe took me 15-20 min doing them)

then during day, I probably will go skateboarding, but not a lot because its really energy draining thing and I have really low stamina. Maybe skateboard for 30 min to 1 hour a day.

Then about 1 hour after dinner, do 25 min of pilate crunch video thing

Then take shower then rest, and around 8:00 p.m, do 200 sit ups.

(But none of them applies on saturday, or sunday because I have to work and I get back late so that plan of mine only works through monday-friday)

So anyone have ANY idea if I can lose 8 pounds in about 2.5 months or so?

any suggestions that will help me lose more weight??

*** Most importantly, any suggestion that will keep me from snacking? because I can do it for couple days, then I always crack...

Well thanks so much in advance!

I know this is not what you want to hear but it's important

YOU ARE NOT OVERWEIGHT!

Your are not even close to being overweight so you dont need out your body through this!

You are 5 foot 7 and 10 stone, if you see from this height and weight chart that you are at a perfectly healthy weight

http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydiet/healthyweight/heightweightchart/

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