I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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14, f
Alright, so i got in a fight with my best friend and so she took my other best friend away and shes trying to turn all my other friends against me and shes telling lies to make them hate me. I need do something! I want people to hate her! What so i do? Any ideas are fine cuz shes NOT a friends any more and i ABSOLUTLEY HATE her. So, i need alot of ideas for revenge and to make people hat her. Thx (link)
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You would be no better than she is if you tried that. Nobody can make people hate you nor can you make others hate her. It's up to individuals on their own to do their own thinking and deciding when it comes to you.
What do you do? Talk to her about what happened and try to patch things up. If you can't patch things up between you you'll need to move on. You'll have no trouble finding friends and may wind up finding ones better than you lost.
This is just a trivial game she's playing. She wants to get you angry the only way she knows how. Don't pay any mind to her behavior if you can't patch it up right away. If she truly valued your friendship she'll see how dumb this whole thing is.
If you turn to revenge you only become like her or worse. It will backfire on you. Let whatever she's doing or saying fall off of you like water on a duck. When she and others see you're not bothered she and her friends will move on. Revenge is never right, good nor enjoyable.
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So I'm 15, and pregnant. My mom says I can't keep the baby. She wants me to get an abortion, and at the most an adoption. But I couldn't bring myself to do either. She doesn't want me to keep it! What can I do?
I know it will be hard, and I don't have a job, but before it is born I will be old enough to get a job, and so will my very supporting boyfriend. It's tough, but I have supporting friends, a supporting family, and a supporting boyfriend. But she doesn't want me to have it :( what can I do? What can I tell her? (link)
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Be blunt. Ask her would she have terminated a pregnancy in the same situation and never have someone like yourself? Tell her you find abortion to be immoral and you refuse to do something against your beliefs.
You may be 15 and your boyfriend may be supportive beyond belief but that doesn't mean you nor he are ready to be parents. You need a college education to make it. right now you haven't got a plan for what is an 18 year at least commitment.
I think adoption is the right idea to give the baby the best chance you can give. You can keep it an open adoption where you can get pictures and updates and allow for contact at age 18 or for medical issues.
It's best to give a loving couple desperate for a child the opportunity to do so. It's a selfless act and will allow you to move forward in life. Nobody said this was an easy choice but you're mom is right it's a sound one.
She knows what you may not realize about raising a baby. It's a 24/7 job with no breaks, you need a lot of money, tons of help and the ability to be an adult. You'll miss out on regular life completely and will always struggle for money.
You need your education and the life of the average 15-year-old. If you kept the child your parents would wind up like the baby's parents and it would be a heavy burden on everyone financially and otherwise.
That's why your mother feels like she does. There's not much else you can tell her. She doesn't have control over your body and perhaps if you did have it she would change her mind but she has a lot of sound ideas minus abortion to at least consider about your future.
Let's be realistic what kind of job do you expect to get at age 15 that will allow you to care for a baby and yourself? I don't think minimum wage work could even begin to help. And where would you find the time to do all those shifts? Right now you don't have a solid plan and your parents can see that you and your boyfriend can't be expected to know how to deal with a real baby yet.
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soo when i masturbate, i find it more pleasurable to just rub my clit. i dont actually "finger" myself, i dont really find it to feel good at all.
does this mean that when i do decide to have sex, it wont feel good?
is this normal? (link)
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Every person responds to different techniques and sexual touch. What one person finds pleasurable may not work at all for somebody else. You've found what works for you. In fact the clitoris is the only part on a human body designed for nothing more than sexual pleasure.
Masturbation and sex are totally different things. Whether or not sex will feel good later in life when ready for it doesn't have a thing to do with masturbation. I wouldn't feel guilty either as 78% of all females statistically do it and 90% of males of all ages. It can't harm you in any way either now or down the road.
The only harm is if it's all you ever want to do or like to and you have no social life or life apart from it.
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15/f
Well, like every night now I'll have a sex dream with my crush... I can't stop thinking about it... That dream worried me to because I had gotten pregnant... How should I deal with this? Is it normal? Is there a meaning to it?
(link)
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Dreams are thought pictures. Whatever you think about during the day doesn't stop at night. You may be asleep but your brain sure isn't. Dreams be them sexual or otherwise are the byproducts of your fears, desires, goals, excitement, hormonal surges during deep sleep. Dreams have no impact on reality and should never be feared.
Obviously you fear becoming pregnant at the wrong age so that's why that's a big part of your dream and you have desires and even sexual thoughts about someone you like. That's all normal and would be part of a dream because it's what's on your mind 90% of the time. It doesn't make you perverted or crazy either. It's common with people your age.
What do you do? Do nothing about the dreams as they can't harm you or become reality ever. As far as the guy goes if you like him make a move and see what happens.
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Here lately, when i pee theres this really odd smell. It doesnt hurt or anything, but what is the smell? could it be an std?[i have no other symptoms of having an std and i dont even know if that is a sign] please dont just tell me to go to the doctors tell me what could be the cause of this? (link)
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More than likely if it's not an STD it's a Urinary Tract Infection according to Lennox Hoyle MD at the link I'm about to give you. Interestingly enough, it could be a medication that you are on that is cause of the smell especially if it smells burnt or like sulphur.It may smell like rotten eggs, a burnt match.
The other thing it could be is your diet. It changes the color and smell of urine all the time especially if you're eating something outside the norm a lot. I know you don't want us to tell you to see a doctor. However, if you're concerned about this you really ought to. We're not doctors ourselves and our advice can't be taken like it's the sole explanation. It's just a guide. We can't diagnose.
Here's your link: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Urogynecology/bad-smelling-urine/show/280145
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Hello,
im getting the depro vera shot tomorrow and i was just wondering the side effects, also if anyone has expirenced weight gain or having their boobs grow while taking it? (link)
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This should do it for starters. It lists the benefits, cons and side-effects of it. If you hit Google up you'll find a ton of stuff about it but here's a place to begin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depo_Provera
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my boyfriend is expelled from school. Hes now on probation too. Hes still smoking pot and i cant get him to stop. I sound hypocritical because i do it too but im not kicked out of school and in a bunch of shit. How can i convince him to stop while hes on probation? Hes ALWAYS around it and i cant do anything about that because he lives with people who do it and are okay with it. (link)
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Do you see yourself with this guy for a long time? Do you have anything in common besides the drugs? I'll be blunt he seems to be on the long road to nowhere and not smartening up.
He's in trouble with the law, always around drugs and people on them and has gotten himself an expelled. He's not going to get any better anytime soon. This is his life which is sad and how he intends to live until he really gets a wakeup call by learning the hard way.
You on the other hand have a lot going for you that drugs and other behavior can easily destroy. You've seen the light and NEED to move on if he can't stop and be firm and do it. You also need to find NEW friends who aren't using drugs to succeed in permanently beating it.
I would tell your parents the truth no matter how hard it is and ask them to help find you assistance and keep you on the right track. They can get you counselling and perhaps get you into groups with other teens with drug problems so you can get allies there.
The choice seems obvious avoid him and the people he associates with if he has no desire to kick the habit and fix his life. That's the reality and the big picture. To quit drugs you need to be away from them and people doing them.
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I am 27 female US resident
I suffer from major depressive disorder, bpd, pstd, and anxiety. I've struggled for years with my mental illnesses and last summer finally got my Associates degree.
I want to go and get my B.A. degree
I am looking at a program that would cost me approx $45K to complete my 2 years. The reason it costs so much is because it's 1. Online 2. For adult learners 3. Has extra support for people with disabilities.
The program offers me a LOT of what I need, on campus and online support, a disability services that really is willing to HELP me and shorter courses (quarter instead of semester).
But am I being crazy to think that $45,000 for a degree is ok? Should I go to a school for $20K that doesn't have any of the support things I need for my mental illnesses?
Am I crazy to think I should invest such a large sum in myself? Should I take the greater risk of not graduating for the cheaper cost, or should I invest more in myself and have a much higher chance of passing?
HELP! (link)
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Believe me this program is the best one for you to be enrolled in. Yes, $45,000 is steep but you'll get a quality education and degree from it. How did it make you feel when you interviewed with them for a spot? If it felt so right than indeed it is. Obey your gut instinct.
These people also want to help you with tons of support to get you through the program and handling your illness. The other school isn't going to do that at all or intensely enough. If you need ther help with bipolar disorder, anxiety or more than you can bloody well forget it.
Most of their staff has no idea what all that means because they only know physical or learning problems. I can say this having BP myself and having profs, students and disability counselors turn their back on me when I had crisis.
Fortunately, I completed the program one month prior to going off the rails so to speak. I was at graduation but don't recall it. Some evn thought I did this for attention or "deserved it".
Get your B.A. from the school offering all the support as it's the best place for you and a better institution. Being able to do courses from home is ideal because no matter how sick you feel from day to day you can log in and finish work.
$45,000 sounds great as a lot of people pay that per year if in an ivy league place. It's not the cost that counts it's quality. You could pay $45,00 or even $20,000 and get crap for the money or wonderful things as well. Only you know where your heart lies and what one you like best. You can always get financial aid if needed.
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i want to know if anyone can tell me how do i find the right foundation to buy and how to make up ur face. i'm pretty clueless about how to put on anything besides eyeliner and it's about time i know how to do my make-up. if anyone has tips plz share (link)
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If I were you I would walk into a huge department store or drugstore and seek out the clerk running the cosmetics station.
Tell her that you have no experience with makeup, foundation etc and are clueless what to use. They'll match foundation and everything else so it suits your skin tone.
That's something we can't figure out on here without a mugshot. They'll show you how to apply it too and it won't cost for the consultation.
We as I said can't really help all that much because we haven't seen you to get a sense for the shape of your face, skin tone and what works best.
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I'm a 15 year old male living in Australia and attending junior high school.
I've noticed that I don't feel emotions properly. Sure, stuff happens to me that should provoke things like sadness or hysteria, but it doesn't. I don't feel anything. The strange thing is, I can feel anger to its fullest. I can be furious at whomever I want at any given time, whatever the situation, and when I get too angry, I use violence to get things the way I want them to be.
But other things, like happiness, I can't feel - and if I'd felt it before, I don't remember. All I ever feel is anger, even when it's about small things.
I have no idea when this came about, but I first realised when my grandmother died around six years ago. She was real important to me once, but when I heard she'd passed on, I didn't feel anything.
Day after day I find myself lying and acting to feign emotions when they aren't there. I learn to fake them by watching people in everyday life and their reactions. This bores me from time to time but I know I need to do it since it's the only way for me to appear normal and fit in with society.
I just want to know if there's any way I could actually feel something real for once, rather than baseless anger. I feel awfully uncomfortable talking to psychologists face to face, so I'm not sure counseling would be a good idea. Will I be empty of anything but anger forever? (link)
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This is a mental health issue. You need to see a psychiatrist who can figure out what disorder this falls under. They'll treat you with medication most likely. I know you are reluctant to see a mental health professional or opening up to one but it's to better your life.
None of the things you mentioned are normal behavior or for that matter normal ways to think, feel and act. It's signs of a real problem brewing. You should get it checked out and learn how to control it. Therapists do not have the degree nor skills to treat this. Psychologists can't help either for a diagnosis.
Usually what happens is that the psychiatrist does an assessment and puts you on medication and makes you go to appointments at certain intervals. They only ever put you in hospital if they think you are of harm to yourself or others.
And no, you won't feel empty and only angry forever provided you see someone and get whatever this is into check. Drag it out longer and it will get worse and worse as you are currently seeing is happening.
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How safe is the miata and what are some of your experiences with such a car? Im considering buying one... (link)
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You should buy a copy of a book called Lemon Aid. They have it for new and used cars. In it it will tell you the safety record, mechanical problems, recalls, hidden warranties and common repairs that model has.
The info dates from the present all the way back to the introduction of the Miata. I've never driven one but that's where I would start researching. Consumer Reports also puts out a book where they crash test everything.
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Is there any places where you can send your child to have "the talk"? She is homeschooled so she cant go to a class at school or somthing. (link)
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This is indeed you job and duty not to shirk. If you leave it up to educators or other people your child will never know your values. They'll definitely think it's wrong to discuss it or have sexual thoughts or be able to ask questions about things they're experiencing.
No parent enjoys having to have this talk but there are things that make it easier. I would suggest you purchase 1 copy each of What's Happening to My Body? For Girls and What's Happening To My Body for Boys? both are written by Lynda Madaras.
Ask her to read both on her own time and come back with any questions. It has everything she will need to know it from puberty, menstruation, sex, feelings, etc. etc.
The best thing to do is get her these two books and 1 or 2 others. Let her read them and lead her own discussion with you later on.
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My girlfriend masturbates alot and kinda used to be, like, addicted to it. Could masturbating too much make the skin on the clit and labia loose or somethin'? And make the labia dark... Is there anything that can be done about this? (link)
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She could do it until her arms fell off and wouldn't have one iota of difference to how her labia appear, whether skin appears loose or not.
As far as genitals go they're made from entirely different skin and tissues than regular skin itself. You'll notice on your own genitals that the coloration and skin tone are different in certain places. It's the same with the darkness you describe.
It's just natural discoloration and pigment for her. Everybody's looks slightly different. I'm not sure what you mean by "loose" labia. If one side is bigger than the other and maybe even droops it's normal.
If she's concerned about their appearance she could consult a doctor but she sounds fine. Nobody's body looks like it does in anatomy photos she's seen. So, you can tell her that if she enjoys masturbation that it's fine and if not same thing but it can't change how body parts look.
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My family currently has a male Lhasa Apso. he is 3 years old and pretty protective of us. We used to have another dog (female) but she died in december. so the current dog has lived with other dogs before. we want to get a new dog next month, a small one about his size. and i was wondering if it mattered if it were a male or female? would the current dog get along better with a female dog? or a male one? (link)
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You should definitely buy a female dog if the dog you have now is male. You might have a royal time on your hands with him being snarly and territorial towards the younger dog.
You could never leave them alone together because the bigger dog could kill it or severely hurt it by fighting or even playing because of the size difference. You're also going to want a dog that never will become bigger than him. I recommend a pug or a pug cross. They're very social and easy to add with other dogs.
If your current dog gets along with both males and females it might not matter what sex dog you get. however, I would err on the side of caution and get a female.
I am concerned about your current dog not liking any puppy you bring into the home. If it thinks he's protecting you he might not like the fact there's another dog there. That can be cured with re-training if need be.
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Well, first I'm 15/female.
and I know zits are normal ,but for a few years now. Maybe since I was like 11 but it was never this bad- it got really bad maybe 2 years ago. My vaginia and upper inner legs are FULLY covered in zits....white head, black head- you name it. Lately the actual zits look like brueses... Do I have some 'sexual' disease? For the reacord I'm still a virgin and have not had my first date even.
Should I be worried? (link)
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We're not doctors so none of us can accurately pinpoint what is happening. It can't be a sexually transmitted disease because you aren't active. I'm wondering if it's a reaction to perfume scented soap, body wash etc. or not or a recurring infection.
It's probably nothing serious beyond being a pain. I would tell your mother what has been happening and get an appointment at a gynecologist so they can take a thorough look and provide medication or other treatment. The biggest mistake you've made is keeping this to yourself al these years.
The doctor will know for sure just what's happening and the cause and treatment for it.
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i normally get B's and C's on my report card, with an A every now and again. well, my school just let out today (early, i know) and a week ago, my dad made a big deal about how he wanted me to finish out the schoolyear with all A's. i knew i couldnt promise all A's, so i just told him id try my best. and i did! i really did...but i dont think he'll believe me if i say that.
see, the thing is, i have a really bad memory problem? like, i can remember some stuff, but not everything. and that reall screws with me in school. geomatry is where my problem is. i understand everything, and the teacher teaches very well. but as soon as i get home, i forget almost everything. and then i get F's on my tests and graded homework. but this week i really buckled down and tried my best on my last test and homework, and i got a 100% on my homework, and an 80 on my test (yes i know its a C-, its the best test grade ive had in a while) but that still didnt stop the inevitable D- waiting on my report card for geomatry.
now my problem is i have NO IDEA how im gonna break it to my dad! he always says how smart i am, but how can i be that smart if i forget everything in just 30 minutes?! "smart" people dont fail geomatry. i dont know what im gonna do.
can someone please help me? tell me how to break it to my dad in a subtle manner without disappointing him? the last thing in the world i wanna do is disappoint him.
thanks for any advice (link)
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Your question led me to wonder whether you have an undiagnosed learning problem. You're able to do the work at school but when prompted to recall how to do it you can't easily.
I would talk to your teacher about what can be done and the trouble you are having. Ask them to contact your father about the grade you got and the bigger concern.
Getting a low grade or forgetting how to do something does not a dumb person make. Many smart people have issues like this. If no matter how hard you try you can't seem to recall things I would get tested. Odds are what's happening with your memory isn't your fault at all.
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ok i play a pretty rought sport and a few days ago i got pissed at a dude and pulled him out of the pool( waterpolo is the sport).
So i slugged him but i felt like it didnt do enough damage?make sense?i feel like im not fighting to my fullest potential..
i fight in this sport alout i dont lose alout im pretty big but i usually wait till they miss then hit them once and they give or i wrestle them to the ground..
i dont know one good fighting techinqe tho.
any easy ones to learn and dangerouse ones to have ? (link)
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Never start a fight. If someone starts one finish it definitely and defend yourself in the process. It's about hitting hard enough to connect and cause a distraction so you can get away and they can't chase after you.
If they grab you for instance by your jacket plant your feet, grab their head and pull it down for a knee. Yu can also drop someone if they grab you by planting your feet, and pressing the elbow joints of your opponent hard enough.
You need a strong jab, learn how to throw an uppercut too. If someone comes in on you throw a front kick to the gut or the groin. Never aim high or to the head as you're body won't be warmed up--and besides if you haven't been trained in kickboxing don't try anything but that kick.
All you need is enough skill to get someone off of you. forget fighting to your potential. Fight to defend yourself and nothing else. Never create a fight but know how to finish one if someone attacks.
Also, if someone attacking you is coming in close set them up for a body shot by going left side forward, slip and break like a boxer and pound to the kidneys and liver.
As I said before DO NOT use these techniques UNLESS ATTACKED. If someone pisses you off walk away. Strike them only if they hit you first. Learn to jab, upper cut and right and left cross. join a self defense class too.
There are lethal strikes and blows but they're not for you to know how to do unless a trained instructor shows you and gives proper instruction and warning on when it's to be used.
There's a lot of palm and other strikes designed to shatter or break bones but like I said you need a trained self-defense instructor to show you them or judge whether you need to know them at all. Irresponsible people shouldn't learn them. Not saying you are but others reading just may be.
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So there's this guy that I really hate but I'm sort of friends with at the same time... I know that doesn't really make sense :S He's really annoying and has like no life but he follows me around so I talk to him and everything. So the other night over facebook, he asked me out. Naturally I said "sorry, but I don't really like you that way." Apparently he's liked me for a long time. It was VERY awkward.
But now I feel really weird. I have this issue with getting mad at boys who ask me out... I can't shake it! So I ended up getting mad at him today and I yelled at him. I feel really bad too, because he has no idea what's going on. Tomorrow is the last day before vacation (thank God) so I won't have to worry about it much, but still, I feel guilty. He keeps trying to talk to me and saying he's sorry.
I told him I was sorry an hour ago, but I still feel weirded out. I mean this is some weird kid no one really likes we're talking about here. I am head-over-heels for someone ELSE. So why do I feel so GUILTY and horrible? I really don't want anything to do with him, but I would feel too bad. I need help on what to do!
Thank you soo much! (link)
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You don't have to go out with him but you should feel guilty. It's obvious he sees a lot of good in you or he wouldn't be interested. You were very nasty in the way you turned him down and treated him. It was uncalled for and you owe him an apology at least.
Tell him nicely that you aren't interested but that's no excuse for the way you reacted. What's so weird about him anyway? Why do people dislike him? Perhaps he likes you because you are the one person who until now treated him with respect.
I think you owe it to yourself to get to know him for who he REALLY is. Show your classmates a thing or two about kindness and treating others like they would want to be treated.
It's not his fault that he's socially inept either. Maybe you could be a friend and point out that he's a bit too clingy ad what to work on that others don't like. Everybody deserves at least 1 friend. He picked you for a reason.
Why be angry at boys who ask you out? If you're not interested just be civil about it. If you always get angry you can bet the boys will back off of you and presume you're cold and a downright unpleasant individual.
If you like someone else that's fine but consider this person's feelings. Continue to be a friend but start creating a little distance. Let him know when he's acting too clingy and do it in a nice manner. Tell him you don't mind spending time with him but not all the time.
As long as you apologize tomorrow things should settle down. I also want to add that for most guys it's difficult to ask a girl out. For him, it's even more of a struggle because of his lack of popularity and confidence. Keep that in mind when dealing with him.
He must think the very world of you to even have bothered asking. Show him that you really are a decent person by apologizing and getting to know him and see through the labels placed upon him. If this has taught you anything it's to be a friend and think how others feel. You don't have to date him as I said earlier but give him a break and a chance others don't give him at friendship at least.
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Hey im 17/f and i have a court hearing to go to on May 13th at 8am. Its reguarding my ex boyfriend and i charged him with stalking. I have a restraining order on him and stuff. But like 2 weeks ago i IM'd him and told him i wanted to give him all his stuff back. So he agreed to meet me. My mom found out about this, and shes afraid that im going to go to jail for filing a false police report even though he was stalking but because i broke the restraining order. Im very scared. I dont want to go to jail. My mom then asked me why i didnt just throw out the stuff instead of giving it back to him and i really dont have a good answer. I just didnt think about it. But does anybody have a good answer that will like make it sound good to the judge and jury? Thanks ill rate every answer! (link)
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They will certainly throw the charges out about the stalking and the restraining order would likely be lifted. Once they see that you went to his house to give stuff back they'll have no reason to believe he was stalking you. You made a big mistake there.
I don't know about the laws in the U.S. about making false claims and reports. I don't *think* you would be going to jail but I can see you getting charged with mischief.
Bottom line, don't lie about what happened as it will come out. His lawyer likely will already know and is prepared to use that info to get him off.
The best thing to do is get a lawyer, admit what happened was a dumb move and that this person has really been bothering you, following you etc. etc. and let your lawyer counter anything that comes up about the meeting. They can also get any repercussions knocked down or lessened.
If you lie and this comes up in court you've cooked your own goose as that judge, this guy's lawyer and the police won't be on your side. Things would only get worse.
It's not about making things "sound good" to a jury or a judge. They'll know you aren't telling the truth or revealing this when it inevitably is mentioned by someone else. Go in, be honest and let your lawyer help tell what occurred and that it was a lapse in judgment. Let them prove your case.
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There's this comedy group at our school, and auditions are coming up. We have to write a two minute monologue.
What are some topics I can write a hilarious two minute monologue on? I can't think of anything currently.
Thanks to all who answer. (link)
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To be a good comic you need a sense of timing. That's something they just can't teach you. Either you've got it naturally or you don't. Not everyone who is funny can be a good comedian either. I've been surrounded by many and seen a lot of good and lousy acts, monologues, sketches.
You need to be the kind of person who observes others, looks for the humorous side of every situation and be up on politics, pop culture and current events and find something ironic, warped and twisted or funny about it.
Don't start out writing to be hilarious as you'll fail doing that. Start out writing what's funny to you and try the material out on people other than your friends and family before auditioning.
Two minutes is not a lot of time. What you'll need is a topic and a quick punch line to close.
Have a look at what Jon Stewart and Jay Leno do each night.
Mine your personal life for two minutes worth of material. There has to be a funny or embarrassing thing from the past that will make people laugh if you don't take yourself seriously.
That should give you an idea of how to find a topic that's interesting and write what you think is funny. On TV or radio it's called a soundbite. You want to get in quick and get out. Don't ever go over 2 minutes even by a second. The audition is an exercise to see if you can do it in a split second and be consistently funny.
I'm also recommending that you actually get to a comedy club. They'll let most 16-year-olds in these days. Watch SNL and if there is a Second City comedy club near you go there. They're the masters on timing and sketches that last 2-5 minutes. They're called blackouts because they're used to transition from one scene to the other fast as the lights go down and come up.
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