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Monologue
There's this comedy group at our school, and auditions are coming up. We have to write a two minute monologue.
What are some topics I can write a hilarious two minute monologue on? I can't think of anything currently.
Thanks to all who answer.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Theater?
Write about an old senile person talking about how there Doctor put them on some wack job medication and next thing they know there in this weird clothing(straight jacket)
Write about a hobo planning to dig his way to China with his new invention that will make him rich and famous in China.
Write about how a little girl thinks she is lost in a grocery store but turns out she was standing by her family the whole time and weird things come up like she sees people riding in the buggy, a kid is wearing a mop on his head... something like that.
Hoped that I could help thanks bye!
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UGLY STEP SISTER SPEAKS OUT
It isn't easy being the ugly stepsister. Everybody always feels so sorry for poor little Cinderella, but what about me? I deserve a little sympathy, too. Does MY fairy godmother ever turn up with a magic wand? Does the prince ever dance with me at the ball? Not on your life. The best I can ever hope for with my pumpkins is a decent piece of pie. And as for the rats, well, rats are rats, with their sneaky eyes and skinny tails, nibbling and gnawing at the garbage. I never saw one yet who turned into a coachman.
If you ask me, that Cinderella is weird. Certainly, she isn't normal. Besides the fact that she has naturally curly hair and wears size 4 1/2 shoes, she is so good-natured that it's downright sickening. If you had to dust and sweep and clean all day long, would you go around singing to the birds? Of course you wouldn't. No sensible person would.
A lot of people think I'm jealous of her. Maybe I am. And with good reason. I subsisted on seven hundred calories a day for three whole weeks before the ball. I did my leg-lift exercises faithfully. I got a perm and a facial and a manicure. I even bought a new gown. Blue velvet. Designer label. I mean, I was READY. PRINCEY, I thought to myself, HERE I COME!
And what happens? Little Cindy, who has never seen the inside of a health club in her life and who doesn't know the caloric difference between a carrot stick and a chocolate eclair, whips together a dress out of some old curtains from K-Mart, waltzes off to the ball and snags the prince.
It isn't fair! It really isn't fair!
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you could do a spoof on dating or a person you like that doesn't know you exist and talk about maybe some stupid characteristics that other people would think funny...like maybe a rumor about a third nipple that intrigues you...
you could pretend to be an "experienced" 7th grader giving much needed advice to a group of 6th grade boys.
or maybe something that happened with a family member...like a really bad baseball game where everyone missed the all and you were just watching and got hit in the face...something like that
just make it funny...hope I helped
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To be a good comic you need a sense of timing. That's something they just can't teach you. Either you've got it naturally or you don't. Not everyone who is funny can be a good comedian either. I've been surrounded by many and seen a lot of good and lousy acts, monologues, sketches.
You need to be the kind of person who observes others, looks for the humorous side of every situation and be up on politics, pop culture and current events and find something ironic, warped and twisted or funny about it.
Don't start out writing to be hilarious as you'll fail doing that. Start out writing what's funny to you and try the material out on people other than your friends and family before auditioning.
Two minutes is not a lot of time. What you'll need is a topic and a quick punch line to close.
Have a look at what Jon Stewart and Jay Leno do each night.
Mine your personal life for two minutes worth of material. There has to be a funny or embarrassing thing from the past that will make people laugh if you don't take yourself seriously.
That should give you an idea of how to find a topic that's interesting and write what you think is funny. On TV or radio it's called a soundbite. You want to get in quick and get out. Don't ever go over 2 minutes even by a second. The audition is an exercise to see if you can do it in a split second and be consistently funny.
I'm also recommending that you actually get to a comedy club. They'll let most 16-year-olds in these days. Watch SNL and if there is a Second City comedy club near you go there. They're the masters on timing and sketches that last 2-5 minutes. They're called blackouts because they're used to transition from one scene to the other fast as the lights go down and come up.
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