Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30921
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I am a female, 17 years old.
I have become pretty close to this guy and we've become really good friends. We talk on an instant messenger every night and share a locker at school. I feel like he's one of the only people I can fully trust and I really like talking to him. The only problem is we have never hung out outside of school although we've been close friends for about a year now. I do believe I am starting to gain feelings for him because I think about him all the time and I get butterflies every time before I go to our locker. My question is, I don't know if he feels the same. I know I should take the risk myself and ask him but I don't want to risk making anything weird or ruining what we already have. Another point, is I'm not really physically attracted to him, so is that a reason not to try and date him? And we're seniors and we're already 1/3 of the way through the school year, so if things got serious that could be really hard. I'm sorry if this is long, or a stupid question. But i'd like help. Thank you for your time (link)
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There are a couple of issues here:
One is that once people graduate high school they tend to leave town or they change social groups. So at this juncture getting involved with him now might lead to disappointment relatively soon down the line unless he is going to stay in the area.
The other thing is that you aren't physically attracted to him even though you seem to be experiencing some of the symptoms of falling in love with him. I think you need to resolve that in your mind before moving forward with anything closer than a friendship. A relationship with a girl without sex just is not going to get it for most guys. It certainly wouldn't for me.
One other thing: it's not really a good idea to get tied down into relationships at your age. You need that exploratory phase of life where you date different people, build life experience and just give yourself time to grow up before you'll really know who you would really like to settle down with.
So if you just want to hang out with him outside of school and let it go at that then invite him out. However, when you take that step, he may interpret it as an interest in him being a sex partner of yours down the line, so you're going to have to know what your own intentions are before you ask him and you will have to be upfront on the limits of your relationship with him, if you decide there will be any.
Good luck and have fun!
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so theres this girl in my school. Firsts time we met iwas a ta in the class and i had to help the students so i offered help and she asked for it. So i went over there everyone in the group was koo and we were all just talkin about random stuff. Then she really seemed to like me kinda laughing and touching. Then she suggested we txt but didnt have my phone at the time. So that was it tthen we talked a couple of days in the same class. But then stopped going to the group cuzz i kinda felt sketched out. She always seemed to ignore me outside of class not even lookin at me. So i was like fuck it. Nut then i just keep ignoring it. Then im comin outa my zero period and she was there and waved and said hi. And came up to me during lunch to cut and asked why i was hanging out with the other girls in the class. I was kinda like just doin my work.then i was like ill add her fb and never got accepted so i was like wtf am i missin somethin.does she like me or not. So the question is from kinda what i told you although not exactly thurough would it seem like she does or not. Im a male 17. Any suggestions of what i should do cuzz i do want to get to know this girl? Also shes 16.also shes a freshmen and ima senior which also kinda makes me just forget about it. (link)
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She likes the attention she gets from you but is basically leading you on. Ignore her. She's a game player.
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Hi, I'm a 16 year old guy and fairly recently became friends with a girl. We've become pretty good friends over the past few months and we both like each other. However, both her friends and my friends have been pressuring is to date. This has created a really awkward situation for both of us. We have and have planned to hang out just the two us. But like I said, it's really awkward. Any advice on what I should do?how can I bring this up to talk to her about it? I do want to date but I don't want to risk our friendship. I could really use some help here. Thanks (link)
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Ah, another pussified American male afraid of anything with a vagina.
For crying out loud, pal, ask her out, okay? And do it TODAY. She's not going to wait for you much longer. Show her you have some confidence in yourself.
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I love my boyfriend, but he is such a bigot! He believes blood is blue if de-oxygenated, global warming is a government conspiracy, racism is totally ok, and that dinosaurs never existed. I am a very scientifically inclined person; and I am appalled by his lack of general knowledge. How can I convince him of the truth?!? (link)
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You can't. You're talking to a brick wall.
Listen, guys generally don't like being shown up by their girlfriends and many will bullshit to the ends of the earth when challenged in a desperate attempt to wear the questioning party down. We are in an era of aggressive ignorance now and you are part of the problem by patronizing it with your affection. Give this cretin the heave ho and find yourself a respectable guy.
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ok well i switched to this new school about a month ago and at my old school i plannd on joinging the football team there but they didnt have it for my age.....So im saying do you think its wise for a chic to be on afootball team and im only 13 in seventh grade? Like some people say I shouldnt cause the guys would want to tackle me just because they normally cant and that I will get picked on alot but not like in the way were they make fun of you. What if they get "touchy" and if my parents found out no sports for me and that would suck. Im not the best at football but im not the worst for a girl I think im pretty good and very competitive...So im saying theres alot of pluses and miunuses and im confuesed on what to do so I need advice?!
Thank you so much,-Angie :) (link)
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Just go for it. If you don't try you'll regret it. Personally, though, if you had the ball and you were my opponent, I would unload on you bigtime like I would any male player. I wouldn't give a crap what anyone would think. Are you ready to take the punishment?
You might look into refining your kicking skills there are female kickers on some high school football squads in this country. Not many, but a few.
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She calls me stupid but I make straight A's She says ever since I was born I ruined her life. Is what she saying true? Have I ruined her life because she forgot me somewhere and I called my mother for help? Is she jeolus of me? I cant recall a time in my life when my sister loved me. I want to Kill myself for that is surely what she wants right? I want to die anyway but I want it to be painless please help me find a solution. (link)
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You can 't define yourself by the irrational things people blurt out every now and again. If you do then they win. Just go back at her by being the adult and tell her in a calm voice that what she's saying is inherently selfish and immature and that the next time you will entertain anything she says is when she has something reasonable to say. Until then everything she says will be ignored. "Stupid at a loud volume is still stupid, only more noticeable."
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So there this guy I liked and he asked me out, of coarse I say yes.The problem is that my friend has had a crush on him since like forever she won't let me near him.My boyfriend never really liked her more than a friend.Like whenever me and my boyfriend are walking together at school she'll come out of nowhere and squeeze in between me and him.She also stares at me and my boyfriend when where sitting and holding hands.I am getting sick of her always doing that.How do I tell her to stop. (link)
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Here is what you are going to have to do:
First, get with the boyfriend.
Two, tell your girlfriend that she is going to have to realize that we can't always have what we want in life and that there is always opportunity in loss (in other words, she will be freed up to pursue other guys).
If your girlfriend can't handle you dating the guy then you have to punt her. You can't let others make decisions about your personal life for you. You have to do that makes you happy. So step up to the plate, be a big girl and tell the girlfriend what time it is.
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All right so me and my boyfriend having been dateing for about a month now. We have kissed and I let him feel me up while we were making out. Now though it seems he "hints" toward wanting to do more. Like when he is touching my chest, he will move his hand down and kinda linger on my belt. I know what he wants and he knows I want to take things slow, but I feel guilty when he doesn't get what he wants(my past b/f's made me think we had to do things). I eventually give in and end up feeling like s*** afterwards. How can I tell him no and stick with it? My self-esteem is not that high do to past experiences. I am always the one who has to say no. He has never said no, or "well we don't have to". (link)
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He told you he loved you on the second date? What the hell? And you guys are in your 20's? This sounds like high school stuff.
Listen, even if you guys had knockdown drag out sex on your first date you still wouldn't be a slut. "Slut" is such an outmoded and sexist word. Do what you want and to hell with what anyone else thinks.
Now if you think this guy is playing you then that's different.
In any event, it is your life and your body. Take control of it. Have your own agenda and don't be persuaded by the pleas or cant of others because they not only aren't you but they will head for the heels if the shit hits the fan and leave you holding the bag. If sex that early in the relationship isn't your thing then don't do it. Again, you gotta be you.
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So I had a lot of sex in a bout 5 days. Last night I noticed when I started urinating I felt like a pain, not really a burn at all, more like a stabbing in my urethra towards the end of my piss. There isn't any possible way it could be an STD. I want to know why this is happening, and what I should do about it? (link)
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Could be an infection of the urethra. Also, if she had HPV (which she wouldn't necessarily know), it could have been transferred during sex.
Either that or you hurt your penis during sex (could happen), or you have some kind of urinary tract infection. Whatever the case, dude, you need to visit your doctor. Usually the pain you describe, though, is a symptom of gonorrhea.
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For some reason, I am only attracted to older men. I'm 19/f and guys my own age are just so unappealing to me. I'm working full time and I'm also in school full time, so it's possible because I'm around older people so much that I just don't relate to guys my age anymore. But is this weird? My last two boyfriends were 22 and 24, respectively. And I've been talking to this 30 year old I work with and I just don't want people to think it's weird that I can't be with guys my own age. Anyone have any opinions on this? Can anyone relate?
Thanks! (link)
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First, different strokes for different folks. You gotta do what is right for you since it is your life.
HOWEVER, I went out with a 19 year old when I was 26. She was a great girl in a lot of ways, but there was such a big disparity in life experience and maturity, even with just a seven year gap, that it didn't work. Her parents wanted me to marry her since I was the most stable boyfriend she ever had, and actually flew off the handle when I dumped her, wondering what she had done to blow it.
Moreover, it is generally true (that means 50% of the cases plus one) that if one hasn't had an exploratory phase to one's life they would regret it later. Therefore, there is no hurry for you to be tied down. Graduate college, go live overseas for a while and figure out who you are and then you can revisit longterm relationships after that.
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MY SON WHO IS 17YR 9MO WANT TO MOVE OUT AND GO TOO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL OUT OF TOWN HE HAS A'S AND b'S (link)
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Not enough information. Is he being bullied and wants to get out of that situation? Do his friends go to his target school?
But as someone elucidated below, students and their parents are basically captives of school district boundaries (which is a bunch of bullshit; any student should be able to attend any school their parent sees fit), so unless you guys move into that district he won't be able to transfer without a waiver.
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I recently made a suicide attempt but failed coz the rope snapped off.now i am in a dilemma whether to kill myself or go on with life.i dont feel confident of having a successful future nor do i have the guts to attempt suicide again.i am confused. (link)
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A shot at success is only a well chosen college major away, buddy. You gotta take a shot.
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I broke up with my guy a month ago, we both are 31. He said he's not 100% sure about me and said he needs time to think about our relationship.
He wanted to talk with me later, but I said no, because he always said I'm the one who spend his lifetime together when he's seeing me. I couldn't understand why he changed his mind and said that he needs time to think, so I said you'll not be sure as well in the future if you're not sure about me now. Then said I'll never come to see you if you don't say something now and he said nothing...I left.
I know I was so stupid. At that moment, I was mad and felt like he's betraying me, but now I understand we need time to think our relationship. Last week was my birthday, but he didn't wish me a happy birthday. We haven't contacted since we broke up. It's been a month.
His birthday is coming in 3weeks. I don't know what I can do, because I'm afraid of that he's already over me. I'm giving him a space and time to think even I didn't tell him. Will he think I'm over him too? That's why he doesn't contact me? Should I wish him a happy birthday?
He had engaged last year. I'm worried he's going back to his ex fiancé, but I don't know what he thinks so I don't know what I should do. Could you guys give me some advice? I want to know what guys think in this situation.
The reason why I'm confused is that I'm the one breaking him technically, but he was the one who needs time to think. Am I the one who have to contact him first? or should he contact me first? if I want this relationship is going to work again. (link)
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So he was engaged and then dumped his fiance? Then, and I'm only guessing, you guys were perhaps talking about marriage down the line and he got cold feet and fled again? Does that sum it up? You see a pattern here?
Then you basically gave him an ultimatum. I personally don't do ultimatums. Someone gives me one and I tell them to take a hike.
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My boyfriends parents like this other girl for him because his parents know her since she was little. And everytime i see him he tries to ignore me infront of his parents it feels like were complete strangers when we talk infront of his parent and his dad is always mean mugging me what should i do? (link)
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As long as you and your boyfriend have the potential to live apart from his parents I wouldn't worry about it. If you guys will have to live together with his folks after you get married then that will be a huge and perhaps insurmountable hurdle and you should probably end it now and find someone more independent.
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Some of my boyfriends friends i really hate , normaly i could handle people i hate but if me and my bf are hanging out alone they always come by us and idk what to do about them. (link)
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This is funny to me because usually the problem is a girl's pain in the ass friends being around too much when I wanted to be alone with her. It really depends on how the relationship is going. If it's a little rocky and you hate his friends I would walk. One of the deciding things that came into play with one girlfriend I had when I dumped her was that I resented her loser girlfriends being around way too much when I was there. And she knew I hated them.
At this point, all you can do is talk to your boyfriend and read him the riot act about this. If he won't take the bull by the horns and say, "hey guys, we want to be alone right now, see ya later," then you have a decision to make.
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I am 17 years old
There is this 40+ year old man that is telling all my friends and his that we had sex alot.
I know who he is kinda but I have never even actually talked to the guy before.
I have told my friends to ask him to stop saying stuff but its just getting worse.
He's saying that he pimped me and we had sex all the time and now even his girlfriend who is also in her 40's is causing me problems.
Is there some sort of legal action I can take? (link)
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Talk to an attorney. It would seem you have cause for a slander action. The thing is if the guy doesn't really have any money a lot of attorneys are going to refuse to take your case. You could also seek a restraining order against him.
Unfortunately, he hasn't really done anything criminal. You should probably file a complaint with the police just in case anyway and report it as harassment and maybe they will send somebody to talk to him. Or maybe they will get curious enough to execute a search warrant to check to see if he has a stash of child porn. But that is up the discretion of the local DA and cops.
You could also call Child Protective Services in your area and see if they could be any help.
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I am 38 year old post graduate doing a good job in private sector having a marriage life of 12 years. My wife is graduate but my mother is only 4/5th class pass. She is also not aware of many things. There is a big difference in thinking and working of both. My wife doesnt like thinking and working of my mother and irretates every time with my mother. Also I am not fit for a proper sexual life since the starting of marriage life. But, my wife showed herself satisfied. Now, during persent days my wife quotes about this problem during hot discusssion regarding my mother. How should I manage relations between and with my wife and mother.
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Your mother is feeling a lot of insecurity and sometimes that causes people to lash out or become overly controlling.
Tell your mom, "mom, I love you and I'm glad to have you here, but I also love my wife and I would like have a more relaxed atmosphere around her for her to enjoy being with me. I know you're feeling somewhat insecure and shaken after dad died, but we're here for you, so relax because it pains me when I see two women I love not getting along."
That's about all you can do. This is a gnarly situation to be in. Good luck.
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I'm a 13 year old girl, and I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half. I've known him since kindergarten, and he's usually a pretty upbeat, positive person.
Lately he's been acting rather down. I know he's been having some hard times with his family, but I didn't realize how bad it was affecting him.
He often discusses things like how no one would miss him if he died; theroies on how he thinks he's going to die.
I just need to know what I should do. Do I inform anyone of this? Does this make him suicidal? What can I do to help him?
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He wants attention and positive reinforcement.
The problem is that you have three things going on:
1. The native insecurity that comes with being a teenager.
2. The foundation of his life, that is, his home life, seems like it is rattling loose.
3. He could be getting negative messages at home or he is being ignored as his parents battle out the issues that concern them.
First, you have to make him realize that he has no right to be depressed when billions of people on this planet have it much worse than he does. You can say something like, "yeah, sometimes I wake up and think my life is the pits then I thin about Mexican farmworkers waking up to another day of excruciatingly hard work in a foreign country for crap wages and, compared to that, I can't really complain."
Secondly, tell him that you are glad you guys hooked up and it has made your life more enjoyable and having him there for you is important to you right now.
Thirdly, tell him that sometimes people around you get pretty crazy and you just have to wait the craziness out. It sucks, but all you can do is try to emotionally step back from it and look at it almost like you're watching something on tv and try to learn from it.
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Hi I hAve a crash on a boy I have him on bbm and we chat but how can I tell him with out embarrassing ME? (link)
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Have some courage and just go for it. Then you'll know what guys deal with in terms of being afraid of rejection and what to do if you get a negative response.
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so i shaved my arms and i think it looks good but i dont know if it was a good idea
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If you're a guy probably a neutral to bad idea, for a girl a good to neutral idea.
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