Gender:
FemaleMember Since:
July 21, 2004Answers:
1117Last Update:
June 24, 2008Visitors:
58745Favorite Columnists
mn731
DeeSireDiOr
ballerina04
BlueEyedBlondie725
Main Categories:
Fashion and Styles
Love Life
Home Decorating
View All
about
advice
Hi, I'm 16/f and I was raised a Catholic. A really close friend of mine is like.. TOTALLY religious. He's completely devout to the point where he considered being a priest. lol, anyway.. he told me to read this chastity booklet called "pure love" a while ago (www.pureloveclub.com is the website for it) which I did. I was shocked at reading it. Apparently, not even french-kissing should be done outside marriage. I find this ridiculous in a way, and wonder whether any of this has a biblical basis.
My questions are: Should I tell my friend I read the booklet and give my opinions on chastity? Would it damage our friendship?
Secondly, and more importantly, is chastity really necessary? Is there anywhere that states that french-kissing out of marriage is sin? Why do they believe this? I realize that pre-marital sex is a sin, but kissing? Even light touching? Is this all necessary? I am against pre-marital sex (for my own reasons, not for religious reasons) but don't understand why they are so hell-bent against other things.
I hope I haven't offended anyone who is a Catholic. I respect anyone's religious belief, but I always question everything in life. :) I'd appreciate a totally unbiased answer. Thanks a bunch guys!
Hey. Well, your beliefs are your beliefs. I'm a christian. No, I don't think you should be running about making out with whoever, but I dont think its wrong with a certain someone.
I think it's the one thing before marriage that really allows someone to click, and if you've only pecked on the lips before, you still feel like strangers on a first date. I dont believe in premarital sex however.
It's true, it's your own opinion, and it does depend where a kiss leads. You dont want yourself getting carried away beyond a kiss, but if you can control it I think it's okay. And, I think there's nothing wrong with calmly discussing this with your friend. Do it in a level headed manner so that the two of you can both see different perspectives.
13/m I have a sister, let's call her "Z", she's 2 years older than me. Niether of us have ever had dates before. But this last summer, I realized that I was in love with one of my best friends from school "M", and Z was in love with one of her best friends from camp, whose name doesn't matter. Well, of course I told M how I felt about her, because it was just burning up inside me and I didn't know what else to do. It turns out, she's not sure how she likes me, and also she has an ex who went through a painful breakup with her. Because he's a jock. I am not in any way, shape, or form, a jock, and also I can't thing of any reason why we would go through a painful breakup with her. So not only is she unsure of her feelings, but she also doesn't want to go through a painful deja vu. And to put it on top of everything, she had a huge argument with the popular kids, and they will do anything to get revenge on her or anyone close to her---namely, me. So I was insanely depressed for a long time...
About two months later, we learned that what Z was feeling was mere infatuation. She went to another school this year, and she met a really weird guy "R", first they just had a bunch of classes together, then Z realized that she liked him, and eventually she loved him, and her best friends were pushing her to ask him out, or else they could slap her really hard continuously for 3 straight minutes. So she asked him out, and they're going out in a few weeks---on his birthday!
A day or two before, I had asked M to the school dance, as friends or more. She might be rehearsing for a play then, but at least there's hope. But for some reason I feel like Z isn't ready to be dating yet... I don't know why. I've never met R but he sounds like such a great guy... I don't know... Maybe it's just a huge milestone in both of our lives... maybe I'm jealous... I don't know... And right now I feel like I'm going to burst out of confusion... I usually know what's going on, people always answer my questions with stuff like "Wow, how old are you really?" or "I know some people who are 21 and you're more mature than them!" And all that crap. But now this is the one time outside of social studies or having to do with M when I have no idea what's going on... why am I so jealous or worried for her? And has it ever struck you as difficult to have two people who happen to both love each other? Like, really, what are the odds? Thanks... I'm so distraught!
You do sound very mature for your age, and your vocabulary is commendable. It is true that at your age, the odds are scarce at two people falling so feverishly in love. But, about the only point of dating at your age is trial and error. To see what personalities you coincide or conflict with. To understand how to care for others besides your self. So, even if you dont marry that girl, atleast you could walk away from it having learned something.
The situation with your sister has a slight relevance to your problems in that you are comparing yourself to her. Remember, she's two years older. At this point, she deserves a shot at dating. Try and be happy about and/or supportive of where she is in her life. It does seem like you have a shot with this girl, and if things do pull through, think of how good it will feel. What if she just said she liked you back the second you admitted your feelings to her? Great. The exhiliration might last for a couple of minutes.
But now, atleast, if things work out it will be so much more appreciated.Your jealousy is rooted back to your feelings. Of COURSE you dont want her going out with some other guy. Your WORRIED for her because you spend a lot of your time CARING about her.
okay well Im 13/f and Im going trick or treating with my crush and some other friends for holloween well am I too old to dress up cause I was thinking about a daisy duke look but with a little move coverage..THANKSS
I wish I was daring enough to pull this off: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000BB8EPG/103-7086975-0667820?v=glance.
It's a hott version of a nursey rhyme. Lol, and I dont think you're too old to dress up...pshh me and my friends run around with tiaras on for fun, even when its not halloween. People my try and be "Cool" and not dress up but I think there's nothing wrong with it.
i know this is something really weird but if i drink like a mini bottle of water (8.5 FL OZ) I dont feel good after and I have a really bad stomach ache for about an hour. Why does this happen and what can I do to prevent it?
thats really wierd... all I can suggest is drinking a different brand of water. I dont know why it happens.
Hey, im 12, female and i am in 7th grade. there is this guy that i found out liked me and his name is ben. me and him were becoming really good friends the past 2 weeks. we flirted a lot but i never really liked him... one of his x-girlfriends told me that he liked me. i thought she was kidding but it was getting around our school real fast. everyone came up to me like your going out with ben? or omg ben lieks you !! and i never went out with him and i dont like him that way and i knew he liked me. i feel so bad to say no becasue he was such a good friend. i wish he never liked me becasue it made things kinda weird between us... he acts different...one of my really really good friends- fred told him that i loved him as a joke and got kinda mad... but i told ben that i didnt love him adn he kinda got hurt and i feel soo bad.. what should i do? how should i act? should i say something to him? im so confused
well for one thing that kid fred is immature. Ask him kindly not to intervene in your business, because thanks to him he may have caused hurt feelings. All you can do is tell Ben you wanna be friends with him and maintain that sort of relationship because you dont wanna hurt your good friendship. Try and cheer him up saying hes a good guy and stuff.
ok, theres this girl i really like.. and i dont know what to do about it.. shes already taken and i refuse to break em up cause thats jus evil.. she doesnt go to my school.. ive tried dating other people to get her outa my mind but it doesnt work.. i cherish our every convo and i dont want to ruin her relationship.. what should i do?
p.s.... i dont think they will split p for a longg time
Its good your not going to try and split them up. All I can say is maybe try getting some time 1 on 1 where you can hang out with her and connect with her. This may sound wierd, but it might be a good thing that she stays together with her boyfriend for a long time. That means shes committed and you can use her relationship with that other guy as a way for you to see if she's a good girlfriend. If she broke up with him randomly for you that would show you just how much she values her relationships. Keep talking to her, hang out with her if you can, and wait it out.
ok well im like one of like 10 black gurls in my city. most of the other oens r mixed though but i still count them as black.well anyways ive lived here for 2 and a half years and the whole time ive only had 2 boyfriends. y is it that white bois dont wanna go out with black gurls? a lot of guy flirt with me and say they wanna do stuff with me but they wont ask me out. what should i do becuase im always sittin around watchin all my other friends hook up with guys and im just left all alone.
love,
lonely black gurl
aww... well I'm not really sure if it's about race, I hope thats not what its about anyway. Some people are just attracted to girls with certain looks, ex. blonde hair, blue eyes, and more times than not, african american people aren't going to fit under those categories. I think it's stupid, it's really personality that counts, but maybe people aren't racist they just would rather be friends with you? Anyway, tons of girls go through this where their friends are "together" alot with people and they arent...and it's not always about race. I think maybe you could try making a move? Your age also counts in this sitution. Well, good luck!
I am 14/f and I really need to start making money of my own. I'm sick of getting it from my parents. I mean I will probably still get a little bit from them but at least some of it needs to be my own. I know babysitting and I have done that before but how do I get people like parents to know that I do that? AND what are some other jobs I can do? Much appreciated. I'll rate high....
well if you have one babysitting job they just spread word...like if the kids have their friends over and they really like you they tell their parents. And.... I'm pretty sure you can work at McDonalds. Maybe offer to mow grass/shovel snow/rake leaves when the season is right?
I'm just curious, how can you make yourself smell like something? Like smell like soap, and not have it wear off as soon as you dry yourself?
Body lotion, perfume, body spray... if you get a good one (like at bath and body works) it should last.
Okay so theres this guy lets call him scott. During the summer my friend Sam started to like him..alot. but he never liked her and he told my friend joe that he liked me so i found this out and started liking him but i didnt tell anyone that cuz i cant do that to sam but then my friend katie comes along and says she likes himso i cant do that to sam but katie can..joe says scott still likes me but i cant like him or anything becasue of katie and sam so what do I do...p.s talknig might b an optin but im sooo confuced and i rate x-tra high
Maybe you can tell your friends your true feelings for him... and tell them you dont want to ruin your relationship with them. See how they take it... but remember its not your fault he likes you and not them. Just tell them you love them to death and this is nothing against them... just that maybe all of you guys have the same taste....a good friend should understand.
my hair is like a redish brown, i want my hair dyed, im looking for a color that will look good with my face. i have an oliver color of skin, my head is square (weird right?) and i have big eyes and small lips. PLEASE HELP!!!
Depending on the color of your eyes... maybe a dirty blonde/brunette sounds good?
how do u make that little black heart
its like ;hearts;; or someting like that, idk. thank u
it's ♥
Where can a get a good list of British 19th century movies. I love Jane Austin adaptions like Emma, Sense & Sensibility, Pride & Prejudice, Etc. I have been searching online, but have had little luck. Any recommendations?
Maybe in a local library you can look up her name on a computer and see what pops up? Actually, A & E made a special on Pride & Prejudice like 10 years ago, and I rented that from I think blockbuster...and it was really good. So look for that if you can... it's long and I had to watch it in stages (lol) but I really liked it. Some others I can recommend definetly as far as old movies go are Wuthering Hieghts, Rebecca (AMAZING book & moving, very suspenseful), and Jane Eyre. They are all movies, and all books... I very highly suggest you check these out. They're not by Jane Austin, but they are along the lines of what you're looking for. Rebecca is a little bit more updated (takes place in early 20th century, but its still really neat).
well i am the one who is aasking the questions for that kid, you probally saw several of them.
well i was in gym class and i was like to my friend jackie "ill race you" then he heard me and was like "RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN" really loud, then i heard him say "god ill give that girl a hug someday" and i was like wtf?
but i really like this kid
and then we were kite flying in math/science to see whos flew the best, well i was the first to get mine going in the 3 classes. and he was staring at ME not the kite. then it was his turn he ws just paying attention to me. bot its team-mates.
and my friend, brit, keeps saying "this guy digs you! OMG HE LIKES YOU!!! omg you and jon should go out" contunisly again and again every day. i like her saying that becasue i think i have a chance. but the people in my school would ruine it.
help me please!
You seem like your really ecstatic, happy, hyper about the whole situation. Good...be excited for who you could possibly be dating.
His signals are like most any guy sends off when he's in favor of someone... it could be too soon to tell. I tell people this all the time; I sooo wish I could come and see the situation for myself. It's so hard to tell via a brief description of what could've been a month or two of ongoings.
In any case... don't NOT go out because your afraid of what people in your school will do. That's like committing suicide because you know your going to die one day eventually. Pointless. It's not official until it happens.
Remember always its your life... others should not have an effect on it. I really think he likes you, kinda like your friend says. Have your friend 'Brit' ask him or something if they talk. Or, leaving options open, wait longer and if he's that crazy he might just say something. Don't be afraid to flirt back, haha. So just do the best you can ... and figure out what you wanna do!
How do you tell a guy you like him, if your not sure if he likes you back?
Tell him you have feelings for him in person if your alone, or on the phone. It's really not a big deal, and people do it all the time. There's no way to know for sure if you like him, but if he feels the same way he'll probably tell you.
Alright, I'm a girl who just started shaving her legs...and anyways how often do you change your blade? I have no idea! O've had it for about 1 monthes..which seems REALLY long...please tell me I need riiiiiiiight away
As soon as you realize it's less effective (the shave isn't as smooth/quick). There's no specific time. Good Luck!
I want to express my feelings to one of my guy friends. Ive known him for about one month now. We say i love you all the time but i dont think he means it like i do. i dont want to sound to desperate so what do i say?? or should i get a friend to do it? or write him a note. Im kinda shy.
Just have a friend drop the hint in a manner like you didn't know they were going to say something in the first place. Your not going to seem desperate unless you do this frequently. I wouldn't do a note... sometimes those get wierd, I know firsthand. Good Luck!
well there is this guy that i love...and he told me he loved me the other day and i didnt know what to say back cuz i wasent sure about my feelings but now i am sure that i love him...should i tell him???
Tell him exactly how you really feel. Don't fake an "I love you" if you dont mean it. He'll know for sure that you don't use the words I love you just to throw around and he'll appreciate it if you ever do say it. Just tell him your not sure right now... tell him when your feelings clear up, maybe you'll know. It's better to earn somebodys love then to just be granted it, trust me. That and you wouldn't want to lie to him!!! Good Luck.
How can I make my school uniform better? I'm a girl, no make-up or jewelry, and no rolling the skirts. Trust me, I know, I've tried it. Any ideas? And I go to a catholic school. Is there anything I can do? To add to it, or anything?
Wow! This is tough. But I can suggest layering different shirts (blouses or w/e your allowed to wear)... they can't possibly have a problem with more clothes. That, and maybe wearing a slip with lace at the bottom under your skirt so it looks lacy on the bottom. You can also try wearing a nice belt if they allow those. Urghh it must stink to have all those rules!
Ok, you know Ashlee Simpsons hair when it was still black how it was short..but like, at the top it was fuller then as it got down to the bottom it got thinner? Well what kind of hair cut is that called? I want my hair like that but I dont know how to explain it. If you get what im saying PLEASE PLEASE help..I rate 5's!
Oh yea, I dont need anyone saying im stupid and Ashlees stupid cause I could really care less..Just help me out and this question will be outa here. So just ignore it if you dont like it!
xoxox♥
I love Ashlee! =-D. Anyway, I don't know the name of the cut for sure. Don't worry, I do know a good way you can get the cut you want. Google it and find a pic of Ashlee Simpson, with her hair the way you like it. Print out a few different ones, and bring it to the hair salon. Trust me, they'll be able to do it... I've done stuff like that before. Just show them the pics. Also, if you want to know the bangs she has... their more like side bangs so to speak. Good Luck!