Hi
Im melissa and im 16 living in Illinois. I'm very good at advice and i will try my best to help you as much as i can! I will give you advice that i think is right and appropriate. I will answer any question of any category.(: Thanks.
if your having so much trouble that you want to talk immediately i will give you my AIM, just ask! :)
Gender: Female
Location: Illinois
Age: 16
Member Since: June 30, 2011
Answers: 120
Last Update: January 20, 2013
Visitors: 7508
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Hello, I 29 and I just got conceived but me and my husband is not at all prepared to have baby now. If I am going for abortion so can I have the baby after two years or so. (link)
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if you give the baby up, than you most likely cant get it back.
but why would you want to do that? your going to give away your child?
i dont agree with that but its your life.
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Hello Advicenators!I honestly have wave wanted to die for a while now.I am a 13 year old female and have cut myself almost everyday scince I was 11.I feel like I'm not worth thr very air that I breath.It hurts sometimes how bad it feels to be here even now.I cannot do this. I need a friend. (link)
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you are deff. worth the air. God brought you here for a reason, right? & why would you cut your body? for what? that's going to do nothing, but hurt! imagine if you were gone, imagine if you died. imagine what your family would be going through, and your friends! NEVER seeing you again! i dont think you want that. everyone has a purpose living. & your only 13! instead of cutting yourself, try to find things that are fun and exciting. try to find hobbies. maybe try out some sports or something. & when your at school try to make good decisions and make some good friends!:) & your family is your closest friends!
i hope this helped, at least a little.
if you have any questions, feel free to message me!
melissa:)
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My husband and I do not get along anymore.
We fell into our relationship very fast and we weren't careful about it. I got pregnant after 5 months together and he was pretty resentful for a while. Our daughter is 5 now and he doesn't seem to carry that resentment anymore.
That resentment led to my resenting him for his behaviour. He would party and not let me know where he was for a good year or so after I got pregnant, but he grew out of that, thankfully. Still left a me bitter though, like he was trying to hurt me disappearing for hours without a word. I still can't tell what he was up to but he would come home intoxicated.. Eventually.
Now we're in a better place than that, but I feel like he is overpowering, and I'm not the type to take that ever. For example, if I give my opinion on a subject that would turn into an arguement if my opinion was different than his. It's like he always has to be right, even when it's not about being right or wrong - it's just a discussion.
We argue over the littlest things and it turns into something huge. We basically have no patience for each other anymore and were always on the defensive. I get so irritated with him it's hard to handle. He's insecure, overbearing, arguementative, but he's also considerate(mostly),a good father, and a loving husband.
The other thing is that I had an emotional affair with a coworker, and I don't think he will ever get over it. It started out as the two of us just talking because we were having the same problems with our significant others, and turned into us havin feeling for each other. It was actually nice to talk to someone who I tought cared what I thought and listened to me rather than talk over me or not talk to me at all (I swear video games are a ruination for good men - they loose themselves in games and forget they actually have people who depend I then being there).
Obviously my husband and I both have our issues, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere. Everyday seems to blend together in petty arguements and silence.
What can I do to make this better!!?? I do love him but my patience is at a breaking point and I don't know what to do! (link)
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i seen that the last person wrote for your husband & you should go to counseling but i dont think so because people are who they are. they will not change. i know that from experience. your going to spend all that money for a person to talk to you guys which it might work for about a month & then it will be back to the same thing.
in my opinion, you guys should seriously talk about what you want to do with your lives. talk to him & tell him how you feel & if it doesnt change, YOU have to do something about it. do what's best for your daughter & you. in my opinion that's not a real husband.
maybe consider a divorce? but im definitely not telling you what to do, thats just what would be going through my head. & if you bring that up to him maybe it will open his eyes & realize what he has brought his life & family to.
and your prob thinking you dont want your daughter growing up without her dad, but no matter what he will always be her dad. it's his decision to want to see her & do something with her.
BUT if you do find someone else that treats your daughter & you happier than that guy would be more of a dad than your husband. a dad is a guy who is there for his daughter no matter what. therefore your husband doesnt seem like a dad he's just the biological dad.
see how it goes, talk to him. dont rush ANYTHING a divorce or getting a new guy. if you are looking for a new guy, give it a while until you move in with him or ANYTHING!!
& you can't be unhappy for the rest of your life & just deal with it. life is short. make it the best. live each day as if it were your last. have fun! but think think & think some more before you act!:)
i hope i helped. i wasnt telling you what to do, just what i would do or though!:)
if you have any questions or comments message me:)
melissa!
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18/f
I'm suffering from PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) and I'm very determined to lost weight.
This disease has caused me to be overweight my entire life and I'm getting sick of not being happy with myself.
What I want to know is what are good workouts to start with at home? I've been to a gym before and didn't enjoy it. I'm not much of a people person and I would feel more comfortable doing workouts at home.
If possible, can someone help me set up a schedule of some sort? I greatly appreciate the help! (link)
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okay:)
so if you want to lose weight, you cant just work out & eat tons of junk food. you should have 3 meals a day or 5 small meals a day. and if you have a craving for junk food, then eat it, but a little bit! you can have it but in moderation. & yes not eating junk food WILL be hard. i'm not saying it will be easy, i'm saying it will be worth it. & when you work out dont think "this is going no where" because it takes 2 weeks for you to notice your body change, 4 weeks for your friends & like 3 months for everyone else to notice. DONT get discouraged. if you mess up one day, keep going!!:)
& there are many work outs you can do. i dont know where you live but by me it's getting a little warmer and we dont have snow. so maybe you can play a sport at the park or something. you can look up youtube videos and they show you each step what to do on what you want to work on, or buy a video to watch. sometimes cable has it for free! just search. you can jump rope, run around your block, even walking is really good. instead of driving somewhere, walk!!!, maybe rollerblade, or even save some money to buy a treadmill or something. there are also some cheap workout things at target! check them out!
& you should make short term goals & long term goals. like maybe you want to be 200 ibs by summer and by next year you want to be 130. buy some new work out clothes! that also helps and gets in the mood & look up motivational pictures.
when you workout & eat healthy, you are better off today than you were yesterday!
keep on going & never give up!:)
GOOD LUCK!
i hope i helped & if you have any questions or need help, just message me:)
melissa!
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first of all thanks for helping me on this!
im not sure about talking to my mum about cos she doesnt really like talking about it much...otherwise i looked in a phone book and i think i found their number so i secretly called it and a woman picked up and said hello "mrs.smith(this is not their real surename)speaking"so i kindda panicked and said it was a wrong number so i hung up.should i call back?btw i really want facebook but my mum doesnt want me to but i think i might create a secret one.also they live in france(my mum is french)and i live in the uk so i dunno...
hope u can help!😊thanks x (link)
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i am so sorry but i answer a lot of these a day and im not sure what your story was about again! can you please refresh my memory and resend the question! im really sorry about thaat!
& i will be willing to help! thankss!:)
melissa.
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But how long will the koolaid stay in? And what color will it turn out to be for different types of hair? (link)
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i have never done it but my friend has, and i heard it stays in for awhile and it's hard to come out.
she had brownish blackish hair and she did purple koolaid.
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its all started out of my mom saying that I'm not a perfect daughter to her, and i told her so many times that i cant be a perfect daughter to her.
she got mad at me and after a couple of days i apologize to her, then went to green bay with my boyfriend.
I'm guessing she got mad at me, she was thinking that i only apologize to her so i can go with my boyfriend, but its not true.
she is trying to break my relationship with my boyfriend and I'm not liking that.
i know my mom is worried about my past because i was married once, but i mean if she except every guy that i date is going to failed me, then why am i even with a guy.
that's what makes me so mad at her is because she doesn't understand me at all.
i apologize to her because i loved her and didn't want that awkwardness between us, but i guess she didn't understand that.
so not she is not talking to me and i was fine not talking to her too, but she cut off my cell phone line cause she pays it.
i mean i don't know what to do, right now I'm having evil thoughts saying that i should pay back because i don't want to talk to her either.
i know I'm not that mean towards my mom and i don't plan to do anything to her.
but right now i felt like she hates me so much that she is willing to take away everything from me.
what do you think i should do? (link)
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i know this is going to be very short haha but if you want me to just message me and i can go into complete detail or message me if you have any questions...
but what i would do is everything you wrote on here, tell your mom, but in a nice way. if shes being mean to you and starts yelling DONT yell back and DONT give attitude, just truly listen and shake your head and continue on what you want to say and try to come to a conclusion!
thats what i would do if i were in this situation! :)
hope i helped... at least a little!
good luck!
melissa.
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How do you fill up your body with energy (link)
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well to get your body more energized, is to have a sleeping schedule. you should go to bed every night at the same time and wake up at the same time. (whether it's a school day or summer break)
if on a school night you go to bed at 10 and wake up at 7 and the next day not being a school day going to bed at 3 in the morning at waking up at 1 in the afternoon, it will throw your whole day off and make you more tired than if you have a regular schedule.
also exercising early in the morning before you start your day energizes your body!
i hope i helped. if you have any questions just message me!
good luck! :)
melissa.
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How far can I go after beating depression? Is there still hope for someone after facing that to ever be really successful? I'm 18 btw. I know it's stupid but my perfectionism and depression have caused my time in high school to just be a downward spiral. I'm going to community college in the Fall, but I'm planning on transferring after 1-2 years to a good university and etc.
But I just feel defeated already. I'm trying hard to focus on the present instead of only seeing the end point, reaching my dreams, getting up to my PhD, getting in relationship (never have), and getting a good job. But I don't even know if it's possible when I've messed up like this. It's like, I'm very hard working and meticulous when I'm focused, but when I'm not it's easy for me to procrastinate. You know, the whole perfectionism thing (I need to learn how to just be a high achiever, and accept my mistakes in the past and etc but I don't know how to not constantly feel ashamed of myself), except I'm mainly facing the downsides of perfectionism right now. Please help, I know it's pathetic but I don't feel comfortable around anyone else to share such personal things, so here I am asking strangers on Y!A. I've started going to a therapist (a bit too late, though) but I only see her once a week. I just have so much to get off my chest and nobody to tell that I feel comfortable to tell, cause I'm afraid of them using my insecurities against me or just criticizing me for things I already criticize myself for (link)
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DONT ever let your past ruin your future, or let you ruin YOU! Everyone goes through depression, some worst than others! EVERYONE in this whole entire world has something wrong with them that they are insecure about. Its up to them on how they are going to handle it.
you can deff be successful, if you have depression or if you dont. you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to! no one can make you do something, you have to do it!
if you feel comfortable telling me what is wrong in specific details and want more help with this i am willing to help you!! you can message me on here anytime or i can give you my AIM ( if you want it just message me!)
i hope i helped... at least a little
i hope everything goes well & i hope to hear back from you!
melissa.:)
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13/f
I found out yesterday that my aunt had a miscarriage and that she was in the hospital getting the fetus removed. I know it's been really hard for her especially because she had some trouble getting pregnant before that. I really want to do something to comfort my aunt because I know she needs it. Is there anything that I can say or do that might make her feel a little better? (link)
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DON'T keep bringing it up! right now it would probably be best to comfort her and be there for her, in a way that makes her laugh. try to tell jokes (not about pregnancy or anything) but maybe blonde jokes or something really funny, tell your family you guys should all go out to eat or do something together. try to get her mind off of it. the worst thing you can do right now is to keep bringing it up... it might make her feel even worse.
i hope i helped, if you have any more questions just message me!
i hope everything goes well, and i hope your aunt feels better! im truly sorry for her loss!
God Bless her! :)
melissa.
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I'm 13 years old. Nobody understands me. I hate life for many reasons, and think of how I could end it the most painless way. I can not help but think that death is the only way to get out of my situations. I feel as though if I don't care what's happening in my life than no one else should. I think about what I would say if I were to follow through with ending everything. I just hate the lies I hear every day. I hate the harassment and judgement I have to bare with every day. The only true reason why I don't kill myself is because I couldn't do that to my family. My dad told me that if I was to ever need to do anything he'd want to just think I ran away with a friend and I'm safe and not have to identify my corpse and have a funeral for his child he couldn't image that. I almost feel that is selfish. My mom offered me counseling but I didn't want it and now I just want help and she won't listen. I am the ugliest girl at my school and spends the weekends by myself. I must sound as though I through a pity party for myself to others but they just don't know what I go though. I don't know what to do to just be happy, can anyone help me? I tried actually socializing but I felt fake for I had to put on an act as though I'm having fun, when in all actuality I am in misery. Someone please help me. (link)
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well first of all, i can guarantee you are NOT ugly! a lot of people say their ugly and they are very beautiful.
don't ever think that death is an option, because it's not. if you really think about it, what is that going to accomplish?
if you're having trouble with something, talk it over with your parents or whoever your having trouble with. but do it nicely and truly try to talk to them with what your having trouble with.
i can help you with this everyday if you want. you don't want to spend a lot of money on counseling which dont really help you that much anyway! if you want my AIM just message me and ask! i can help you a lot and go in complete detail on what to do! :)
message me if you want that or if you have any questions
just dont think that death is the answer, because it's not!
melissa! :)
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I am startong summer camp and we go swiming on my first day of my period need help it is tomorrow!!!!
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this is going to be a little weird haha. but you have 3 holes down there.
the front is the one you pee through and the last one is your butthole loll, the tampon goes in the middle one. it's a little hard to explain but i hope you know what im trying to say haha! and make sure you put it in right because if you dont its going to hurt really really bad, and if your period is really really light, it may be hard getting in & in that case i wouldnt put one in. if it's heavier it will be easier to put in and prob wont hurt as bad, you just have to put it in right! and make sure when your putting it in put one leg on the toilet and have the other one on the ground.
i hope i helped. if you have any questions just message me !:)
melissa.
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Hello,
I need the following:
a) a car
b) a job
c) an affordable place to live
So what's the best way of obtaining these things?
I'm twenty years old. I wanted to get employed and then try for a loan for a cheap car. Maybe find a place that's first month rent free. Maybe part-time military. School in fall if I can get in for free with fafsa. Is that a bad plan? I feel like I'm trapped in an elevator. I need help. (link)
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well if i were stuck in that position i would ask your mom or dad or grandpa or grandma or aunt or uncle to stay with them for a little until you make enough money to get enough money to move out. make sure you help out around the house for them. i mean what is family for? and DONT ask your friends to borrow money because your going to have to owe them back & what if you cant do it? the best people to ask is family!.. but you never really want to owe people things.
get a job, make money & save it dont waste it on junk food or gum or clothes or anything! save every penny! you might say a penny doesnt buy me anything... but they add up! if you pay for something in cash and have change left dont just use it and buy stuff with it, put it in a jar and save it up!!
it may take awhile to save up all this money but it is what it is, you will have the money if you work hard! :) you can do anything you set your mind to!
good luck and i hope everything works out well!
if you have any questions just message me! :)
melissa.
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we have been together for 4 years and i love him so much, but i just don't know what to talk about when he calls me. a lot of the time he is ill when he calls and it seems like no matter what i say, he tries to make me look dumb or that i don't love him. also, he always thinks that i am cheating on him and will call me a whore...but i am not cheating on him nor do i talk to any other guys. so please give me some things to talk about with him. i am a 18 year old girl and he is 19. (link)
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in my opinion if he's is disrespecting you & calling you a whore and accusing you of cheating on him, i would rethink everything about being with him. you should not be treated like that or called that... no girl should. that's not right! talk to him and tell him the truth. tell him something has been bugging you and tell him you guys have dated for 4 years and he's the best thing that came into your life (if that's true) and tell him there is no reason for you to cheat. and if he does accuse you of cheating play along but MAKE SURE you do it in a jokingly matter and laugh, say something like " yeah your right, so i met this one guy named bob, he said he knows you" or whatever you bf name is say yeah i met this one guy and he's "blah blah blah" and name all the things your bf is and say the name of your bf haha and be cute about it or something!
well i hope i helped! good luck. if you have any questions, just message me!
melissa! :)
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Hi.I am 17 yrs old girl.I am from India. I had read that you shouldn't phone your bf more than twice a day as it will make him thinking about me and he'll wonder when i'll call him. I had tried it once but instead he was so angry with me that he didn't speak to me for 2 long days!! what can i do??? please advice me!!! I want attention from him (link)
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totally agree with ginger
the best way to get someones attention is to stop giving them yours!:)
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I'm 17 and female.
So I'm hooked on coffee! Like I'll have a minimum of 5 a day.
However I am trying not to take coffee anymore as the caffeine in it stunts growth (and I wanna grow more!) and can give you cancer and bad teath etc.
What would anyone recoomend for stopping-because I just can't help it! (link)
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well what i would do if i were you is limit yourself & try to stop is slowly. it's like a diet if you eat a lot of snacks and you stop them all, your only going to last about 2 or 3 months and your done when you want it to be a life time change.
if you drink about 5 cups a day, for about 2 weeks change it to 4. another 2 weeks passes change it to 3 and then keep continuing.
you dont have to completely stop it but maybe say im going to have 3 cups a week and thats it or maybe say im only going to have 1 cup a day.
start slow! don't go to fast! and when you have start going lower and your at about 3 cups a day and you cheat one day and have 5, that doesnt mean " you already ruined it" so your going to just keep having 5. you ruined it for that day, the next day maybe only have 1 cup.
just keep thinking of it as being more healthy. you want to live longer and not have bad breath and dicolored teeth! your only 17, you have a long time ahead of you & if you start off bad now, it's going to be even harder to stop it when your an adult. the more coffee you have, the more you want.
well good luck & i hope i helped. if you have any questions ask! :)
melissa.
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i am dating a guy but my ex wants me back and i love both but i don't want to hurt any feelings i don't know what to do! (link)
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well in my opinion if everything is going well with your boyfriend right now, then stay with him. the other guy was your ex for a reason!
i hope i helped! good luck, if you have any questions just message me!
melissa! :)
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I took 18 excedrin extra strength and im ready to die. Im goin to prison for 6 yrs. I cant take my life anymore. I need help and advice. (link)
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well first of all do not commit suicide or even think of it!
just think of it this way, you have to do what you have to do. if you have to go to prison then thats what you have to do. it's only for 6 years! your lucky it's not a life time because a lot of people have it for life! all you have it for is 6 years! it will go by quick.
and if you really really dont want to be in it, isn't there a way that someone can bail you out? like pay money or something, and if not, then who cares! you did what you did, just remember to not make that mistake again!.
and don't commint suicide, and you dont need to go to someone to get help we can help you on here because thats just going to cost a lot of money and idt you want that haha!
dont even try to anymore, a lot of people love you! & if you did that their going to miss you & they will NEVER forget what you did and your going to erase that from their memory.
when 6 years is over, start your life over, wipe everything clean! start a new life! your going to walk out of their knowing that you have to be more careful on what you have to do! you really lucky it's not for a life time. you will be ok!
God bless you. if you believe in God, try to pray, he will help you and will ALWAYS be with you! :)
if you have any more questions just message me!
good luck! everything will be okay, just remember that, 6 years is going to fly by!! hope for the best!
melissa! :)
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What does it mean when you sneeze a lot (link)
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every time the wheather changes i always start sneezing so many times! it is probably just allergies! take some dayquil during the day and nightquil in the night! but make sure your not allergic to that kind of medicine, you can buy this at walgreens, or target, or walmart, and maybe cvs has it. and if you are allergic to that kind of medicing there are many kinds of medicine for sneezing. (dayquil and nightquil come in liquid form and pill form but the pills are long and pretty big!)
and after the medicine if it doesnt help, then i would go see your doctor, but the medicine will most likely work. i guarentee its just allergies!
hope you feel better!! :)
if you have any questions just message me!
melissa! :)
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Ok so from November-March I dated this guy named Brendan, he was my first boyfriend ever and he is really sweet and funny and a gentleman and so nice and cute and he is practically like the total package. I broke up with him in March and decided I just wanted to be friends. A week later, this guy named Ryan asked me out and I said yes because Im nice and I dont want to reject people because I know what it feels like to be rejected so I didnt wanna make him feel bad. He was kind of the player-ish type and all my friends hate him, and told me that he would only hurt me. I didnt believe my friends when I should've. I broke up with him after he started flirting and cheating on me with other girls. He thinks we're still friends like me and Brendan though =/ Brendan and I reccently started talking more and I think I might like him again, I broke his heart though and I dont want to fall for him and have him break mine. Im scared to talk to him now... =/ I already created a bad reputation by dating Ryan... Help? I want to be his friend but I think Im falling for him again. (link)
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well first off when someone asks you out i wouldnt just say yes to say yes because you might get a repuation of being desperate and all your doing is making him think you like him, when your just doing it because you feel bad.
and with your ex situation, i wouldn't start anything if i were you, but if he wants to i would totally go for it. don't text him, have him text or call you and ask to hang out. and don't be flirty unless he is to you then be flirty but a little less than him. you don't want to show him your starting to like him again because he may not want to have anything to do with you at the moment.
when you guys are talking laugh and smile, and do cute half smiles and if he teases you or something and says "i know you like me" or something like that, make it into a joke and say something like "how did you know" and smile and shake your head and role your eyes cutely or something.
don't be to straight forward and let him make the first move because you broke his heart! let him come to you now.
and if he texts you dont be like "omg hey whats up
? what you doing? why arent you answering me? okay cool ignore me, thats fine" beaucse your going to annoy him, if he texts you (dont text him have him text you ) and in the middle of the convo he doesnt answer DONT send another text message beacuse that will show you care to much, and if you really want him to answer say something jokingly like "did you forget about me :( " or something like that aha
well i hope i helped! good luck, if you have any more questions just message me! :)
melissa
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