My name is Vassalisa, I am a 26 year old woman, originally from St. Louis, MO, USA but I have been living in England for 4 years. I would love to answer any questions I can (and maybe get some answers too!) and will try to be honest and helpful!
I am into all sorts of music, I love history and I read Dear Abby religiously so would adore trying to walk in her shoes!
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Member Since: May 28, 2005
Answers: 34
Last Update: July 5, 2005
Visitors: 3110
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ok, this is really weird. this morning i was sleeping and my cell phone rang. i answered it and it was some lady saying "allo" over and over again. i just hung up and she called back again saying the same "allo" and she said something like "sylvia?".. that's not the weird part, the weird part was the phone number. +911125450138 was the number. it was 12 digets! i dont understand how that could be a phone number when it starts with 911. i was thinking maybe it was another country. i found that 911 is an area code in china, germany and indonesia. does anyone know anything about this? i know you have to dial a code to make out of country calls.. so maybe 911 is the US code? if you have any information, please let me know. thanks (link)
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To call the US from another country you have to dial 001. That is America's country code. So it would be 001-area code-phone number.
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My oyfriend keeps pushing me in having sex, but i'm not sure if i should . i am not sure if im ready to have a really committed relationship. What should i do? please help! P.S. i'm 17 years old (link)
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It doesnt matter what your boyfriend wants. NEVER have sex until you are ready to. If he really cared about you he wouldnt be pushing it, but he is probably too immature and hormonal to understand that. Stand your ground - you won't regret it, but if you do have sex with him or anyone else before you are ready, I promise you will regret that!
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okay well im 15/f, and i recently found out im pregnate. Before i found out my boyfriend broke up with me, we don't talk anymore, he ignores my calls and he won't read anything i send him...so is it useless to tell him??he's 15 to, and lives about 45 min. away. I think I'm gonna keep the baby too, I haven't told my parents yet. I'm a "goodygood" so noone would expect it...and i don't kno what to do...i tried to tell my best friend...but she didn't believe me...what do i do? how do i tell my ex. and get him to listen to me? (link)
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When you tell your parents you can bet THEY will tell your ex and he (and his parents!) WILL believe you.
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I like this one boy very much but he doesn't like me because I'm not "sexy/seductive" enough. For example, the girl he likes is very confident and a tease. How can I be a bit more like that? (link)
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You think he likes her partly because she is confident. But you dont get confidence from imitating someone else, you get it by being yourself and being happy about it. So rather than try to be more like her, find out what makes you special, what sets you apart from everyone else, and then you will become more confident in the only real way you will ever be able to. And if this guy cant see the good qualities you have, you can bet someone else will! I hope that helps.
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Hi Vassalisa, I'm having trouble sleeping. I just can't seem to drop off, no matter how tired I am. What do you suggest I do to make me sleep better?
Annie (link)
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Try some warm milk with nutmeg before bed. Also, avoid stress in the hour or so before it's time to fall asleep. Sometimes light exercise in the evening helps. A warm bubble bath always does wonders for me! Make improving your sleep a priority, being well rested makes a huge difference in the rest of your life!
Good luck!
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I have this friend named Allyson. We have science class together and I always see her flirting with this guy named Mitch. She told me later that she has a HUGE crush on him. I mean..yeah, he is pretty cute but his attitude is awful. He sexually harasses her all the time and says really perverted things to her. She thinks that he is doing this as his way of flirting but I think he is being a plain jerk. Am I having a bias because this guy was mean to me way back in elementary or is he really an ass? I mean..I know this is bad but I've got to say this to explain how bad it is. "Hey allyson, you have this bruise on your cheek..whats that from, huh?" "Allyson, you've got some hair stuck in your teeth" "You got something white dripping down your lips" Sometimes he even calls her a heffer and she isn't fat at all! She is like one of the skinniest friggen people I know. If he is being a true jerk, what do I tell Allyson? It's not like I can forbid her from dating him... (link)
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People that let other people talk to them that way normally have serious problems with their self esteem. You should tell Allyson that she deserves better, how much better she is than him! But if she doesn't listen to you, there is nothing you can do about it. Just be there for her when he breaks her heart! Because you're right - he sounds really crappy to me.
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I'm questioning my faith
i'm not sure what it was in the first place really
um... but I think i'm just kind of having a bit of a crisis, not sure where to turn
I come from a semi-Christian background
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When you're at a point where you aren't sure what you believe anymore, you need to take some time by yourself, and work it out without other people influencing you. Try reading books, writing, listening to music - anything that makes you connect to the 'real' you. Then listen to yourself.
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Well I have a biig problem! I like my best friend's brother. He's a year younger than me and he's reeeeally cute! I think he likes me cause everytime I'm over her house he flirts with me and gets all close to me and stuff. I want to go out with him but I'm afraid that my best friend would be sooo mad! Cause she like hates her brother and stuff and so yea. I really need some help! I rate high! (link)
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Friends are pretty much always going to be more important than guys. So unless you REALLY like this guy and think it could be something worthwhile, I would look elsewhere. If your feelings for him seem like they are so much you can't miss the chance, then talk to your friend before you do anything, and really listen to how she feels.
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I'm not sure what to do but i think my best friend might be being sexually abused by her dad...and i dont want to come out and say it but at the same time if it is true i dont want herr to be getting hurt! soo please help me out it wouold be greatly appreciated (link)
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Try to bring up sexual abuse to her in a non-direct way. You dont say what makes you think this may be happening, but whatever it is, I think you should talk to your parents about it. Tell them why you are worried. Something needs to be done no matter what. Even if it turns out there is nothing bad going on, at least you will know you did the right thing. If she IS being abused she needs help NOW.
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I love the intimacy of sharing a bed with my partner, but there's no denying that we get on each others nerves. I'm a reasonably light sleeper, and he snores. I also toss and turn quite a lot and take a while to get to sleep, whereas he seems to be a sleep (and snoring, keeping me awake!) within minutes.
Are we both doomed to a life of broken sleep, or is there a solution? Any suggestion on how to get him to stop snoring or to help me get to sleep more quickly would be appreciated. (link)
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He could see a doctor about the snoring, sometimes there are really easy treatments for it, over the counter stuff etc. And you could try a different night time routine. Relaxation stuff, like lavender oil, a bubble bath, reading, whatever relaxes you. Sometimes doing light exercise an hour or so before bed makes you sleep harder as well.
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i wasnt sure which atagory to put this under but here goes. i have an eating disorder which has made me ill and i cant really eat very much at all and only eat bread now and panic so much when i have to go out and in new situations. My boyfriends birthday is in december and its his 21st so it will be a big celebration with ll his family an friends. i know its far away but ive had this illness for years and never been able to go to resturants and eat stuff cos of panic and i lose my appetite but it will be even worse this time, alot worse. i have huge panic attacks when i have to eat something. i really don know how im going to handle it. my boyfrend is very understanding about my illness and fears but i still have to go to his birhday and he's already said that so does anyone know how i can get through it? please i hope someone can help. thank you x (link)
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That's a tough one. I can really identify with you on this. I think that aside from dealing with this party it sounds like you need some specific eating disorder counseling to help you long term. Try to eat a little bit every day, other than bread. Salad, without dressing, can be very easy to just pick at, and as it is so watery it doesn’t sort of stick in your throat the way some food does. Try things like that, and fruit, and maybe gradually you will be able to eat a little more.
At the party, just try to relax. Remember that you will worry about what you are eating - other people wont be. They will all be far more involved in their own party fun! No food police! Try to have fun and good luck!
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ok i am 16 and all my friends say they have had sex i feel i am the only one that has not.what shall i do?they keep asking me if i have had sex? (link)
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Don't worry about it. The last thing you want to do is have sex just to get it over with. It won't be half as much fun as it should be if you do it like that.
When you are asked if you have had sex it is totally up to you what you say. You could say you haven't met anyone lucky enough yet, you're allergic, you'd rather go bowling, anything! Just don't do it til you are really happy about doing it, the timing, the person, everything. You never get to lose your virginity again so make the most of it.
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ok.. so the other day i was masterbating (using a dildo) and like.. i started to bleed.. and i was in some pain.. is it possible that i lost my virginity to a dildo?? i mean.. i don't guess that's a problem cause it's gunna happen sooner or later, but is that what happened?
15/f/virgin (link)
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You might have broken your hymen but that isnt the same as losing your virginity. That happens when you have sex for the first time.
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hi i have a friend and she is nice but is always controlling my life and it is freaking me out so what should i do i mean when i tell her she gets mad at me and stuff but then i have to do what ever she tells me to so ya please help me
love,
she controlling my life (link)
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It sounds like your friend is insecure. You have to do what is best for you, and she will learn to adjust to it as long as you still make her feel important to you.
If she doesnt adjust, then she could just be bullying you, and you dont need to put up with that. So go ahead and do what you want, and continue to be really nice to her and try to make her feel good. If she is a real friend, it will only make your friendship better.
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My daughter is 4 years old. Now she is in K1. For the past three years she was in a day care centre. Its been two semester now in the new scool and my daughter is still crying. In fact at first it was only in the mornings but lately the teacher has informed me that she cires for the whole day. I don't undertand . After all she was ok in the day care. I doubt if she is still adapting to her environment for it's been 2 semester now. She is very bright and when i ask her whats wrong or if she doesnt like the school or the teacher she tends to disregard the questions and leave my questions unanswered. The teacher thinks perhaps something at home is causing her to feel this way but she gets everything she wants yet remain unspoiled. She has a very loving family with no conflicts. I do not understand i'm desperate i can see the teacher's fustration causing her work to be difficult What shall i do (link)
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That's tough! Is there a way that you can very discreetly go to your daughters school and observe her without her really noticing you? What about her situation with friends at school - does she have at least a few, and do you know them? Do you see her with her school friends, playing etc.? As long as she does then you can at least rule out her interaction with the other children.
Also what about her sleep pattern? Is that pretty regular? Something must be upsetting her or tiring her out. Maybe you could ask the teacher to call you the next time she starts crying and you could go up to her school right then to talk to her about it. If she is leaving your questions unanswered when you ask at home, it could be because it simply isnt on her mind at the time.
I hope it gets better for her, and you soon! Good luck!
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I have tried to eat exactly 3 meals a day iwthout anny snakcs, but I'm having trouble. As soon as I come from school I NEED a snack. How can I keep myself occupied while I'm doin homewrok so I don't snack?! (link)
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It's normal to snack - why dont you just have healthy snacks, like fruit? They can give you a nice sugar fix too! I could never eat just 3 meals a day, I snack all the time, but it's normally on stuff like that. In fact I think dieticions say the healthiest way to eat is little and often.
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I know this sounds stupid, but can you grow from drinking milk every day? Will it assist in your growing period while you are a teen? I'm medium heightwise, and I heard that milk can help. (link)
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Milk has calcium which is good for your bones, and therefore is good to have while your growing, but more because it will make your bones strong than that it will make them actually grow more. That's decided by a growth hormone you cant do too much about. But drink milk anyway!
p.s. watercress has lots of calcium too!
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My friend and I were at this party, where there was a guy that I liked. We were playing volleyball, a sport that I'm not too good at. This guy was always poking fun at me when I missed, but he wasn't mean to me except for that. Do you think he was being a jerk, or flirting? (link)
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It depends how old he is. Guys in their early teens might flirt that way but usually by the time they hit 17 they learn its better to be nice to the girl you like than mean!
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okay. so i dated this girl for a while. and we seemed to have a really good connection with each other. we were into the same things, we were both sarcastic smartasses, and we both liked doing the same kinda stuff. and well when i met her she was in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend. and so i was more of the friend to turn to than anything else. then slowly we started to date like after they broke up. and for about a weekend we were very into each other, and things seemed to be wonderful. then as the weekend ended she said she didn't feel the same way about me as i did about her. and so i decided to sit back and wait until she was really ready for a relationship because after some talking we kinda realized she needed some time to get back into the swing of things. and it was during this time that she began to change. she became mean, she began just totally ignoring me for days on end. the phone calls ceased. there would be whole days when i'd hear nothing from her. then i'd talk to her a bit and that was it. and now finally i come home to find out she spent the last couple days drinking, partying, and hanging out with sleazy guys. and i instantly became very mad and jealous. and i just wanna know. is it wrong for me to be mad? for me to not want her around? for me to tell her she's changed and become someone i don't know anymore? i told her not to contact me any longer, and that she had become someone else, someone i didn't know or love. and now in hindsight i kinda wanna know: was it wrong? (link)
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I dont think you were wrong. You have to draw the line somewhere to stop yourself from being really hurt.
Initially she said she didnt feel the same way about you, so it is unreasonable for you to wait around and let her hurt your feelings 'just in case'. It sounds like she has some things she needs to sort out on her own, maybe after she does that she will appreciate you more, but if she doesnt, at least you are free to find someone who does.
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Ok well I like this guy but the problem is, we havn't met in person yet. We've talked on the phone and computer but havn't met! And im like, So crazy about this kid its weird! And i don't want him to see me in person 'cause i think im really ugly and fat. People say no but i think they're lieing! But i need help on what I should do. Because what if we do meet and he thinks im ugly or what ever and doesn't talk to me anymore? He's seen a few of my pictures but i don't think they look like me! So i don't know what to do. Please help. ANYTHING! I rate high. Thank you so much.
x333 Kara (link)
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Pictures can look good or bad, yes, but they cant make you look like an entirely different person! If he likes the way you look from your pictures, odds are he will like the way you look, flesh and blood! Maybe you could send him more pictures, so he sees you lots of different ways, and then you can be more confident that he really is interested. But I would say, go for it! When you meet in person get yourself all dolled up and I'm sure he'll be smitten! Do meet in a public place though and you tell people where you are going, it's always wise to do that when you are meeting someone for the first time! But be confident and have fun!
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