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Semi-retired and a very 'freed and humbled spirit'Age:
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January 1, 2006Answers:
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about
Greetings,I'm here and will attempt to answer questions that relate to either your SPIRITUALITY or your HEALTH. I consider myself to be a very spiritual human being, not religious as I don't follow an organized religion's dogma.
My heart is my good book and I attempt to live life from that point of view. I have lived long enough to have gained some wisdom and feel I could have something worthwhile to share.
I've used herbs and natural supplements and followed a healthy lifestyle since the early 90's, in fact it was herbs and herbal supplements and some lifestyle changes that saved my life.
As there have been some pretty wonderful people that have helped me along my life's journey, it's simply my turn to give back and if I can help someone here, I'm glad to do that. Hope to hear from you with your questions and if I help just one other person during my experience here, it will have been worth it. Have a very Happy&Health new year everyone, you all deserve it!
advice
I was thinking of taking estrogen pills to help make my figure more womanly. Im 22 and I still dont have breasts and curves like I should. Do you think it's a good idea?
NO, NO, NO
Why would you wish to take a beautiful creation, your body, and try to change/alter it? How silly.... think of yourself as a beautiful human being, a wondrous female speciman.
Would you rather have big breasts and have problems with the weight bearing down on your shoulders all the time.... many beautiful women have little or no breasts... take into consideration it's the whole body that counts and more than it, it's your INNER beauty that counts.
Realize all the blessings you already have and let nature take its course....afterall, all of us were created by a pretty awesome source and that source doesn't make mistakes!!!! Never ever.... perhaps a few curves could be had by toning and shaping your skeletal muscles... there are some fine books on the subject and you can reshape and tone, I've done it with my rearend.... nice and round now!
Good luck and I didn't mean to come down on you, but let nature be, I'm sure what you have and how you are will one day really really satisfy and please a great guy! If not already, ha!
I just started working out last week , and every time after i work out, I have these semi-bad headahces that usually last the rest of the night. Does anyone know what this could be??
Well, yes water intake is important.... also tension in blood vessels and passages could be an issue.... try relaxing, stretching some before the strenuous workout... also, with this workout routine, if you've been sedentary, you might be kickin' loose some toxins...so be sure to drink plenty of water....look at what you eat, perhaps you body is trying to go along with the workout, but junk food isn't now the right/correct fuel for the ole tank!
Also.... some headaches can come for poor digestion.... don't eat on the run, don't eat before a workout and you should have a bowel movement for every meal that goes into your body!!! Sorry to be so blunt.... but life is life.... good luck I hope this helps a little, I'm no expert at all... just had some thoughts on the issue... have a great life!
19/Male...I finally got up the nerve to talk to this girl in a lunch line. She seemed decent and smiled at me while we talked and introduced ourselves. But it was very short (maybe 2 minutes). I didn't get her number or anything but I see her everyday, and I still want to pursue her. It's hard to me to think of what to say and I really want to avoid that awkward silence that sometime happens. Any advice?
Good for you, you've made that vital first step that takes the most courage.... stick with your pland...but seek being her friend first. Friendship is such an important part if one wants a good solid foundation for a relationship later.
Well, does she need help with homework from any of your shared classes, do you have any of those going? Do you need help with something, even a home project, like yard work or perhaps she does at her end. Share in a chore and you can chat easily while working. Keep it casual, loose and relaxed. Make sure you keep eye contact with her often.... that's key I feel.
It's real important at this stage to build loyalty and confidence in the friendship. Allow her to know you are a mature, dependable and reliable source of inspiration, support, and guidance for her. And that you would appreciate that from her for yourself.
I'm happy for you that you have stepped forward and created an opportunity. You sound like a very nice young man and one that I am certain deserves a good female friend.... it's a good balance for a guy to have female friends.... and with patience and understanding and time, you may have a very good friend with romantic possibilities and doesn't that sound exciting and enticing?
Good luck you.... have a great day and life!
My best friend recently cut his wrists and was waiting to die. He's at the hospital, he's okay, and he knows what he did is stupid. This is some serious matter to drop on someone, so I was wondering how to lighten my mood. I'd appreciate any advice that will calm and level myself before I talk to him.
This is sad, but surely his lesson not yours. First, you had nothing to do with it and you can be very thankful you're coming from a more stable emotional place than is he.
If he really is your friend.... then know that by knowing you, he might find a way out of the darkness of self-degradation that caused him to do such a thing to himself. Knowing to commit suicide is to rob my soul of so much and add so much to it's next journey or incarnation... keeps me from even considering it as an option. But I'm sure your friend won't understand that.
Sit and make a list of those things in your life you are thankful for.... or all the blessings in your life.... focus on that list.... then make a list of the things you don't like and go about seeing how you can eliminate them from that list, one at a time. Adding them adventually to the other list.
It's hard I know to experience a friend going through such challenges. So, find strength within his weaknesses and you can give some of that strength to him to help him through. I have to say, this is a grand test for you as his friend. Know that you make good use of your choices, and by that example perhaps, he'll find a way to get a better grip on his life and his choices.
Rather than be turned inside out by this event.... face it head on.... breath alot, long, deep, slow, rhythmic breaths. I'd take a long hot soak in the a tub often with some essential oils and if you have a rose quartz stone... I'd hold onto it alot and give it to my friend when I next saw him. They're very good for self love issues and he's gottem...... rose oil is exellent to for self love issues.....
I wish you well and stay strong, focus on the blessings in your own life and you will get through this in fine shape.... and I wish your friend success in dealing with his demons, whatever they are.... there is lots of help out there for him... make him aware of that and in fact have some of that info ready to share with him when you feel he's ready and able to hear you.
Blessings to you and to him in all ways.
OK, so I like really like this guy. And he's like basicly in love with my best friend. And she doesn't like him at all like that and she's been trying to hook us up for a while, but I don't think it's going to happen. But that's besides the point. I'm like not "oh my gosh gorgeous pretty", but I'm not "eww she's ugly" either. But every guy I've ever liked, has either gone out with, broken up with me for, or has been head over heals for one of my best friends. And I mean I'm a happy person. Like happy all the time like 99.9% of the time. And then when they tell you all about them and how great they are, like it really upsets me. But I don't want them to know it. My last two boyfriends have broken up with me because they were in love with my best friend. But I mean how would you deal with always having your best friend get the guy that you want? Or like your best friend ALWAYS being prettier than you and getting the guys attention. How would you deal with this? Please, if you can let me know, because I don't know how long I can stand being around them anymore with all of the guys I like. (14/f) P.S. I'm not a self centered witch. I'm probably one of the nicest, friendliest people in the world. This issue just bothers me a whooooooole lot!!
I'd let it all go and kind of start over..... and you're still young... to worry and fret about this issue now isn't the best use of your time.... and if life is this difficult for you now, I can tell you you aren't going to like the rest of it much.
Most important thing is to love yourself just as you are... be proud of that beautiful human being you are and let life come to you... you're trying to push and pull and make something happen.... and you're pushing the best outcome away from you circle of endeavor.
I suggest you focus on school work, sports, extracirricular activies or ????? and everything else will one day fall together and you'll be soooo amazed that is was sooooo easy.
I understand how you must hurt inside when your best friend gets our guy.... but was he really your guy? Was he the best outcome for you really? Aren't you glad to be alive and enjoying school and socializing beyond this issue. Turn your attention and energy into something that adds to your life... seems to me this is dragging your energy down and you deserve better in my humble opinion....
I hope this helps and that I didn't come off being too push, bossy, or silly. I am a pretty old woman, but I'm a hip one! Ha!
Just relax, you're young, you have soooo many wonderful moments ahead of you, but you're missing half of them focused on something that's not deserving your time and energy. Be better to yourself kiddo and enjoy your hischool years, they go really really really fast!
I am fat and I know I need to lose weight.
The problem is I do not know what foods to eat to stay healthy! I do not need to lose a whole lot of weight, just about 10 pounds. How do i eat right without eating too little or too much and what do i eat?
Any professional help would be great or someone that really knows about this stuff,...please help!
Thanks so much!!
I'm no professional but I can tell you what puts weight on me.... bread products, cookies, muffins, pancakes, waffles, cerals, ice cream, pasta, sphagetti, and don't DO NOT drink diet sodas, they kill brain cells your body NEVER repairs.... add some exercise that gets your heart rate up so you'll burn calories, such as: brisk or speed walking, walking up hills, treadmills that can be lifted up at an angle, swimming, jogging(bad on the joints tho)... and drink lots of fluids, hopefully water.
Make sure you don't skip breakfast, it's a very important meal... if you must run in the mornings...have some boiled eggs, carrot and celergy sticks handy to take with you....
Eat veggies with brown rice, you can't gain weight on these.... don't mix fruit with a meal, eat it about 20-30 mins before the meal... and just remember.... the Pillsbury doughboy looks plumb because he's been eating flour products....!
So I'll try to keep this short--
I'm a freshman this year. In November, me, this guy Seth, a junior, and a few other people went bowling. After, it was dark and we were walking around. It was like the group in front of us, and then Seth and me. In the middle of December, we were both at a party. It wasn't hardcore, but it was like a get-together. At like 10:15 he was like, "At least there are still SOME hot girls here." He said this to me. In the past couple days, more and more people have been saying, "Hey, I think Seth likes you. He said you were really hot." or "Seth said there was only one hot girl in (a club we're in), and that's you." Today, I gave a presentation to our school, he was sitting on the floor (I was on stage) under me and was staring at me the whole time. He has been staring at me a lot lately, and I think he likes me.
I wonder if he likes me, or just thinks I'm hot. What do you think? Also, what do you think about a freshman dating a junior? I've never had any romantic relationship. Do you have any advice to help me get him? I like him, too (well, duh)...
Any other dating advice (not those tip websites) would be appreciated.
Oh, and I don't see him very often, but we do go to the same school.
Well, I'd say take it slow, let it flow! Don't try to push and pull it or you'll not realize the best outcome. You're young, there's no hurry and enjoy the journey, right? Right!
Just become his friend, friends first I always say and I don't think it matters that he's a J and you're a F.... it's how mature we are and how we accept the responsibility of being human on this glorious planet.
When we're young our hormones run amuck... I may be an old lady but that I remember. And I will tell you that I was pregnant when I graduated from hs.... so I was lucky to finish... so don't be stupid like I was, it forever changed my life and now, at his age(61) I'm having a ball, but I should have had it right after hschool. Instead I had three kids, all good people, so I have no regrets.
Become his friend... and whatever you do, you stay in charge of your body and your choices and respect each other, demand he respect you as a woman....because you may not see yourself as that, but you are! And if you don't respect yourself, how can he.
Whenever you get a chance to chat with him, or perhaps exchange emails if you can't get together in person very much, do so a friends first not as boy and girl. I really like male friends myself, they tend not to gossip and want to shop all the time... or chit chat all the time. So many better things to do.
Make sure when you are around him that you make eye contact with him.... the eyes are the windows to your souls.... and you can communicate w/o saying anything. A good connection, a solid foundation of friendship first and then worry about a b/g relationship later if you both decide you really like each other as human beings. Sometimes the more we get to know someone, the less we begin to like them... I don't know why that is, but it is so sometimes.
And whatever you do, don't get jealous if he happens to have other female friends nor disallow yourself having other male friends. It's important to have a good circle of acquaintances when you're young or you'll become a recluse like I am.... and now it's hard to undo old ways.
Hope this silly answer helps... that was my intention. Have a really good rest of your school year and I wish you the best with your junior friend.... does he have dimples.... I love dimples, ha!
I'll be thinking of you and him.....
I work in a large superstore in the clothing department. There are 8 ladies including myself in this department. I get along with everyone but have noticed in the last several weeks there has been a lot of backstabbing behind the scenes. One lady got a promotion and now some of them are jealous. Another lady is always complaining and very negative, and another one is angry because her hours have been cut. How can I stay positive when this is going on? It's very stressful. Does anyone have any advice?
Hi. I would suggest you stay neutral on issues the other ladies have. Do you job, smile at your fellow lady employees, agree with whatever they say and just let all their stuff go. I've been there and done what you're going through and the easiest way to be with it all, is to be outside it all. Do your job to the best of your ability. Respect your supervisor(s), respect the customers, be dependable, and then do stuff with your real friends when off work.
To attempt to become their friend is not a safe zone for you.... their types will devour you because some people don't know how else to be. I'm not saying all the women you'll be around as a fellow employee are the same, but in general terms, don't get caught up in their games, you'll be the loser as you're not that type. You'll be out of your element by falling to their level of being.
Keep your integrity about you. Maintain neutrality and do a good job for the employer.... and you'll retain your self-respect and I feel that's a very good thing. Don't lower your ethics to their level, you'll regret it and you won't be able to undo it once you've succumbed to their level of gamesmanship.
I wish you well......be true to YOURSELF! Happy Heart Day to you also!
How do you get over it besides popping the pills?
Well, first I'd look at my diet, what I'm putting into my body! Soda pop, junk foods, packaged/quickie foods.... perservative, additives, colorings all are really bad for you and your body will respond accordingly. So, eat healthier, get enough rest and relaxation, stay away from excesses, ie alcohol, sugar, over the counter crap.... and you'll have to feel better!
Exercise is really important also...getting your blood moving, oxygenates your blood and wakes your body up and your emotional makeup will be in better balance.... also, if your circle of friends isn't an uplifting experience most the time.... create a new/better one....sometimes negative people can bring your vibrational quality down.... yes we humans are a vibrational reality and need like vibrational surroundings to maintain ourselves.
I use to be so depressed, good thing I wasn't ever suicidal or I wouldn't be here doing this.
I had systemic candida or internal yeast so bad it almost killed me and depression was part of that...since I cleaned out my body, upgraded my diet and nutrtional intake and get enough rest and exercise, I've not had a depressing moment since. I see the world differently and let those moments that are less than good ones....kind of slide right on by me and no longer take it all into my new reality, by choice.
I wish you well, do the right thing for your body by making those higher choices that have better outcomes/results/rewards~!
I am a 16f. I'm concerned about my older brother. He is 27 and he still lives at home with me and my parents. He lives in the basement. He is unemployed and extremely lazy. He usually sleeps in until 1 in the afternoon, then for the rest of the day he'll either watch MTV or play on his X box. He doesnt have to pay rent as he is unemployed. He also doesnt do any chores, and never washes his own laundry. I am angry at my parents, and feel like they are just enabling him. He can never get a gf because as soon as they find out what a lazy mooch he is they want nothing to do with him. How can I convince my brother that he needs to get a job, and get his own place? If I don't do anything my parents will probably let him live in the basement until he's 50. He's also really depressed and unsatified with his life.
What does he do for 'spending money'? Do your parents give him that? I would imagine he's using pot, that all sounds like the mannerisms heavy pot smokers live by. No I've not every used myself...but I've watched as a couple people I've known did and they always, ALWAYS mooched off others or family.
If your parents don't give him very much money, so how is he meeting the expense of his silly habit? Does he go places and have no explanation or witnesses of his activities? He isn't bringing questionable people to your home is he? That wouldn't be a good thing esp if they are 'visiting' in the basement.... laid back people in self-induced stupers might cause problems down there that can harm the rest of the family, not to mention the home everyone lives in.
This is a pretty serious situation.... but I don't think there's much the little sister can do about it... it is a parental issue! Continue to stree to them they would be doing the 'whole family' something very good if they forced the brother to be more responsible. He's not serving as a very good example for his siblings.
Beyond watching, observing, journaling his activity and behavior patterns, I'd sort of stay clear and just try to work with your parents.... surely they must know more than you believe they do....if not, they need to take more responsibility...can you go to other family members with your concerns and make it clear you are really really really concerned for your welfare and the safety of your home.
I wish you well... and I feel you would be very wise to focus on yourself, your school work, yo grades, your health and continue your campaign with those who will listen. Is there a city group that are advocates for young people or a church group that can listen and notate what you're witnessing. This will document what your family is going through.....
I hope you have a very Happy Heart Day and that one day your brother gets his act together... what you do do because you love him and your family not as a retalliation against what you feel are his problems... everyone gets down on their luck sometimes, but to live in the abyss of self-denial and dysfunction doesn't add to the quality of anyone's life.
Relax about all this.... it will work itself out and making it your problem takes away from the quality of your own life.... but watch for matches, candles and inflammables downstairs.... because if the basement burns so does the house!!! Your parents would be most wise to watch for this also. Statistics say matches and candles cause a lot of homefires and even deaths.
There's this girl that I am friends with and we seemed to have a really good relationship at first, but ever since she realized she can tell me anything (I'm really good at keeping secrets) she only tells me her problems. It seems like every time I see her she has some sort of depressing story and she always expects me to help her! I'm an advicenator myself, so I do give a lot of good advice, but she keeps pelting me with all of these things that really aren't that big of a deal, but she overreacts and gets really upset about them. Now I never want to be around her because I don't want to get sad, but I think she sort of needs me now and I don't know what to do! She gets upset about EVERYTHING, like if she sees the guy she has a crush on hugging another girl (hugging is a big thing at our school, everyone hugs everyone else) she will freak out and start crying and get really mad at that person and then just expect me to fix it! It seems like my best friend and I are just her counselors and that we are expected to change everything that goes wrong for her. We think she may actually need psychological help, but we have no idea how to say this because she will get really upset, and talking to her parents is not an option. Help! I'm posting this in the morning because I know there is another sob story at school waiting for me, and I'm hoping it'll be the last one!
Well, first of all you are a most kind person for your desire to help another in need. If more people on our good earth did this, you can visualize what a better world this would be. However in the case you are continually enabling her. And this is not in her best interest when you look at the bottomline.
I don't like being a hard nosed person, but in my years on earth I've learned that to continually enable a person doesn't really, in the end, help them grow as a person. And it's not easy to discontinue the loop of dysfunction and denial because you are a good hearted person.
You'll have to start utilizing a bit of 'tough love' with this acquaintance. Tell her the next time she has one of her horrible problems she'll have to find her own solution because you can see obviously all that you tried to help her with hasn't done a bit of good. Tell her you know that she depends to heavily on you as an emotional support and that it's not adding to your life or the quality of your life, therefore you're choosing to move away from further self-abuse.
I know this sounds horrible, but months from now she'll be grateful. She'll throw fits and tantrums I'm certain, that's her obvious pattern and you must learn to allow her to do this. She may threaten many things in an attempt to force you into action on her behalf. Alert school councellors to her and her issues. That's about all you can do if you can't approach her parents, for it is their problem. Perhaps school councellors can contact parents, that is part of their job isn't it?
You've got to get a life don't you think? I'm sure there are others who would be use and appreciate your fine support and you will feel better about your efforts to assist someone. Helping someone help their self is much more rewarding and beneficial to them than is enabling them to continue their dysfunctional ways.
I wish you well and know you'll find the inner strength and the courage(you've already demonstrated you have this) that it will take to break the bonds that bind you to this issue. Think of it not as being bound to another person, but to their dark negative cloud of self-denial and refusal to grow on a personal level.
I hope you won't think of me as being hard and brutal...... but there are times when one must take a stand, stick to it and not bend over and take it over and over and over. A battering ram I now longer choose to be, nor should you. What example is that for others... that watch or witness this horrible enablement of human dysfunction.
If the threats of suicide should escalate... mental health departments in you school, city, county, state should be advise.... but you must not blame yourself if she in some way self-mutilates.... that is her choice and a responsibility of her parents/family!!!! Perhaps the two of you have a 'karmic debt' from other lifetimes that is carrying over into this one... I've seen it and it's very real!
I'll send you some good energy and be thinking of you often as you deal with this issue. You are the only one that can think of yourself, your life and those choices that will add to your reality. How has this experience with her issues added to your life after the first month or so of your attempts to assist her? How has it added in the months that have followed? I can't imagine myself enduring such a long haul with soooo much dysfunction.
Remain her friend if you can, but from a distance, say emails, letters or perhaps phone calls, but in person one on ones are definitely not working...wouldn't you say?
Sorry to sound so harsh and cold... I'm really a good hearted, happy and healthy person, but in my many years I've learned that when it comes to caring after myself, I am the one that must do that... what makes you any different I must ask?
Take care dear heart, and keep in mind and heart that by moving away you are truly doing your best for her.... tho it may not look or feel like it initially.... and you've already done more than most would have done and that's a lot!!! Do alert school officials, mental health agencies all of whom should contact parents and ask that you remain anonymous....
I am 17 years old and have never had a bf. People in my senior class make fun of me behind my back because of this. I even heard one rumour that I was a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian, I do like guys but I'm really shy and most of the guys in my class are really immature and just want sex, not a meaningful relationship. I've also made the decision not to have sex, or make love until I get married. Some of the girls in my class have slept with over 14 guys, and act like it's no big deal. Sometimes I get so depressed I feel like crying. The fact that tomorrows Valentines day is just going to make me feel worse. Do things ever get any easier for girls like me? Or does it just get worse when I go to college and into the work force? I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only person left with values.
I want you to know how proud I am of you for taking the stand you have taken regarding 'sex'. I was pregnant when I graduated from highschool and in those days you married the father. It didn't work long. I wish I would have had the strength of character and the wisdom then that you are exampling today in your life and for your friends and acquaintances.
I hope your parents can appreciate this about you also... and I will be alone tomorrow on Valentine's Day also... so we can think of one another and send love to each other.
Let others make fun of you, that is there issue and not assuredly yours! Stand as an example of integrity and wisdom and purity and you will one day make a stand in the world of humanity. You surely will do lots of solid good for others and for your family and yourself.
You have every reason to celebrate yourself and your choices and I strongly suggest that take yourself out tomorrow in a sort of 'self celebration' of love and rejoice!! You have earnt it dear heart in every way by standing true to yourself, your beliefs and your values. I only wish I would have been much more like you than myself in my younger years.
I'm not complaining, I'm now living a very good life, but it's taken me a number of years to get to this point. All three of my adult children are great human beings and add to the world, so I am very thankful for that and it would appear that the three grandchildren are about to follow in their parents' footsteps.... so I guess I didn't mess up too bad.
So, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow you can bet on that.... and perhaps one day as you stand in the world as a famous scientist, politician, doctor, musician.... I can be just as proud of you as your family will be.... don't ever ever ever allow peer pressure to crush your dreams, your ideals, your true humanity. Let them play their games.... you dream your dreams alive dear heart for the sake of good earth and humanity. We need more great citizens like you.
Blessings in all ways to you,
salanda
Okay this might be kind of confusing but bear with me please. So at the end of summer last year, I met this guy, Joe, through my best friend, Liz. Joe dated one of Liz's good friends, Grace. They dated for about 2 & 1/2 years and then at the beginning of summer, they broke up. So now its September, and Joe with his friend come by Liz's house, and I'm there with her. So I meet Joe, I knew who he was and about him & Grace and I thought he was pretty cute. He thought I was really cute too. He liked me and all. I wasn't even THINKING about me and him together, the thought of US never came to mind. I felt like I had no chance. Grace (his ex) was unbelievably gorgeous and so much different from me.Well anyways, so we started hanging out. He'd come by more often and we were both very shy. Later I found out that one of the reasons he fell for me was because I was so quiet. But anyways, so we would hang out; play tennis and just hang out with friends. I also got drunk for the very first time with him -- and that's a very goodmemory. I remember how he was so worried about me geeting home and everything that day. Ahh memories. We went downtown by the lake and shopped and everything. Then one day, we were walking, just the two of us, and we kiss. Later on the walk home, he told me about how he wanted to kiss me sooner but that didn't work out cause it was never good timing with his friends and all. So yes, then the following week we would hang out and kiss :) and talked online. He asked me do I see him as a boyfriend and all that and talked about us dating. The next time we hung out, he asked me out. It was perfect. I never met a guy like him. Never dated ANYONE like that. Too perfect for words. It was awesome, the best time of my life. Everything was going great, I couldn't have been happier. He was a bad boy, ditching school, band with his friends, typical guy stuff. But I was always able to count on him. He always chose me over his friends, and even stopped drinking. We went to different schools, and then I started working with my dad, so things got harder. He had his friends drop him off whenever just so he can see me -- it was like a dream come true. My prince charming had come. But meanwhile, Grace (the ex) found out and went crazy. She hated me and my friend/her friend for letting it even happen. She had people watching me and threating me all the time on the interenet that they're going to kick my ass for dating Joe. But I didn't care. My friendshad my back. I remember when Joe was over and I wasn't supposed to have anyone over, and he was over and my dad came home, haha... he ran out the back door and jumped the gate and everything barefoot. Lol poor him left his shoes. He had written me a song and everything, we even wrote each other notes in school. Now back to the psycho ex-gf, well me and her were sort of friends, we just knew each other because of my best friend Liz. She would always follow me & Joe, (she had a car so was EVERYWHERE) and yeah. Then one day, me and joe sort of got into an argument. Me and my friend Liz and some of his friends were all walking around the nieghborhood onour way to chill at this one park. His ex would drive by and stop and talk to Joe's friends. We were with a bunch of friends all walking when these little 12=14 year old were with us and they were talking shit to joe about me and just because bitches and giving me and my friend attitude so I wasn't gonna deal with it and me and my friend Liz turned around and left. He didn't even bother to go after me or call. I regret doing that, I know he must have gotten mad, I remember when I hung up on him, that upset him also. but anyways, so the same day I call him. And I call again. And I call again. No answer. Same thing the following day, Saturday. Then Sunday I call all day. Finallly I try one last time on SUnday night and Grace picks up. And she said he's with her now and all those times he wasn't with me, he was with her. I dropped the phone. It was crazy, my friends wanted to go right over there and beat her up. But I thought about and decided just to forget it. Lateron, I signed online and he was on -- so I instant messaged him. And I yelled at him and everything and then signed off and cried. And cried. I thought I got over him, I was into another guy -- well then he chose another girl over me, and yeah. Then he came back and I rejected him and all that because I'm not gonna deal with someone liek that. SO I really don't even know what I'm asking. Him and Grace have been together ever since. I ran into both of them the other day at a store which was really awkward, he was with his friends in the store and I was with mine. Then they left the store and his girlfriend -- Grace -- and his sister come in. Then they leave and are waiting outside in the car for us. We goto our car and trhey pull up and then she says something and flicks us off and drives off. But anways, I just can't seem to get over him. Its crazy cause this all happened quite a while ago. Maybe its just because he was my first SERIOUS boyfriend? I have no idea what to do... and I really want to believe that one day WE WILLE get back together. I just hope and pray something along the way will happen and we will be together.Like today for example, I felt like breaking down and crying. I went with my friends downtown, on the train. And they were with their bf's and it reminded me how we used to be like that. Last time I took the train was with him. We went to musuems on Columbus Day. Memories :( It was just so heartbreaking. Do you think that we will get back together? People say "THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!" and I wanna follow that, because well thats how I met him. I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. ANd now every guy I look at or my friends want me to meet/date, I just can't. And it kills me because I want to be with him and no one elsre. DO you thinkin it's possible for us to get back together? Maybe later on in life? It was my mistake because I was always so shy and not really OUT with my feelings, and I regret not telling him how I feel, he always thought I didn't like him or anything. Although we dated for only about 2 months, the memrories and the times we had together even before we began officially "dating" ... they mean soo much. I just wish I had another chance. Do you think it's possible for us to ever get back together? Do you think he ever thinks about me the way I think about him? Is there ANY chance of us getting back together in the future?
Well, I can tell by all the energy you put into your comments, how very much you feel for him and for the two of you.
This must be really really really hard for you, and as I look back at my younger years, with boyfriends, I can remember similar moments. Young hearts hurt so deeply because so many of the experiences we have when younger mean so very much to us since they are often our first ones with so much emotion invested.
My heart goes out to you dear heart, and I wish I was there in person, face to face and heart to heart with you to talk/chat with you about this issue. But I'm not, so I'll do my best to help you get through it.
First things first. I feel it's very important that you not blame yourself for anything.... everything that's happened has happened for a reason, there are no accidents and if we choose to learn and grow from and through each experience, the good and the not so good, then we grow as human beings and become better and better human beings.
In this case.... yes, you had a chance to have a good friendship/relationship and for whatever reasons it didn't live a long life. Doesn't mean it can't again, it certainly is within the range of possibility, for anything can happen. I wouldn't wait around hoping it will, you would be wise to go on with your life.
What I might do.... if this feels right to you, is to write him a short letter, handwritten so it's more personal and get it to him in a way that no one else(we know who) will have access to it. Pour out your real feelings and comments and thoughts on the issue, just like you have with me. But keep it simple, short and to the point. Write whatever feels most important to you at the time to express and share.
Let him know how it has affected you, how you miss all the good things you enjoyed about him and even perhaps wish him the very best in every aspect of his life and ask him if he would remain your good friend and spend a little time with you from time to time as any two friends might. You don't have to be sorry for anything, just express yourself openly and freely. Don't beg or plead, just be as a good friend would be.
If he's truly as you say he is, then he will read between the lines of your direct, honest, and heartfelt written expressions. And if he's truly a good person, he'll see the value and worth of remaining your friend and perhaps will see through some of the games the other girl seems to be playing with herself and her life. Such activity is a waste of human potential in my view and doesn't last and isn't real and will have to give way to what is right and real at some time along life's journey.
Also, I would suggest you begin seeing yourself as a fine human being, a beautiful young woman with value and worth and purpose. A person who deserves unlimited goodness and is brave and courageous and will open many new doors and welcome countless opportunities in the days, weeks and years ahead. We all deserve much love and goodness and happiness in our lives and to have our hearts sing of rejoice and peace and love.
So as you begin to see yourself in clearer light, your inner beauty will begin to shine outward and those meant to be in your life for whatever reason, will 'see' that and feel that and wish that vibrational integrity in their circle of friends and acquaintances. It's that inner beauty that will carry you through life and bring your dreams to come true, for this is our true power and our true expression in life.
If you don't feel comfortable about writing to him, then perhaps a friendly chat/talk in person where there will be no surprise interruptions will help him understand your feelings and you his. Perhaps he truly didn't understand how you felt because of your shyness and if he's shy too, then perhaps he simply returned to a place where his shyness with someone is overshadowed by their agressiveness.
I feel also that you would be wise to relax a little more with this. Afterall, truly it is not the end of your life, the end of his. And I know how one's memories can haunt us forever, it seems. So perhaps you might wish to find somethiing to do with your spare time, so your thoughts are focused more on something new. Perhaps volunteering around your local area, especially with the elderly folks who often have no visitors or reasons to celebrate, will help you appreciate who you are, what you really have and your life in general.
Just don't focus on him or the two of you so much especially if it's affecting the quality of your school work and grades.
I would let him know though somehow, that you would wish to be his friend if nothing else, because when it comes to that infamous bottomline, you really do like him and appreciate him as a good person, one you want as a good friend.
I hope this helps, I'm sure there's much more that I could talk about, but let's start here OK? OK! I'm glad you contacted me... it's been such a joy chatting with you, because I can tell you're a really good person and worth sharing with.
Let me know how this goes or if you wish to chat further.... I hope this all works out and you find yourself focusing your time and energy on those things that truly add to your life and your day to day activities. You have so much more living to do, don't get to hung up on this segment of your life.... there is so much remaining to live and to learn and to experience. So much more! It may not all be fun and games, and there may be some pain and a little suffering, but I always see those experiences as the ones that make me stronger, better and more determined to find what truly makes me happy inside.
Blessings to you dear heart and I hope you have a very Happy Heart Day tomorrow....Salanda
if i run and walk on a treadmill for about 20-30 minutes each day.. would i lose weight and would it help me tone my stomach and legs? if so, when will i see results?
It will burn extra calories and you'll begin releasing extra weight, but toning the stomach/adominals and your legs will take working those areas more specifically..... I know of this subject only too well..... getting that heart rate up is vital in dropping weight and toning coming for using that part of the body and working on specific areas using specific muscle groups.... callenetics is a great program....an exballet dancer, turned teacher is a good place to start... I found used videos in pawn shops.... for her age, her body is really toned! Happy Heart Day to you!
how do dietary supplements help you lose weight?
(ex. 'One A Day')
One A Day is a vitamin right? Dietary supplements are generally not good for you, many have Ma Huang or Ephedra in them or 'legal speed'.... good old exercise, working up a sweat and eating right will do it everytime...... eliminate the flour products, breads, muffins, cookies, pastas, sphagetti, pancakes, waffles, etc.... and add fresh fruits, veggies and rice.... remember tho the more you exercise and get your heart rate up, the more calories you'll burn... and I kid you not.... we are truly what we eat and dont' eliminate..... Have a Happy Heart Day!
this may sound weird but i want my teeth white
and i was wondering what toothpaste you use and if it works! thanks i rate 5's
also any other suggetions would be nice
Remember most commericial toothpastes have soap in them, that's why they suds up.... I'd use baking soda, just good old plain baking soda from time to time... and then if I have yellowish teeth, what am I eating or drinking that might make them that way, unless they have always been that way.... then you might just have thin or poor tooth enamel and should ask a professional.... but stay away from commerical toothpastes... Tom's is a good, healthier one... do you chew gum...drink lots of sodas.... there has to be a good and healthy answer/solution for you.... and some of those 'teeth whitener' products must have some pretty bad stuff in them, check out the labels carefully.... what you put in your mouth is very important.... are your gums healthy? Good luck.... and Happy Heart Day to you.
wheres the cheapest place to find things to decorate your room
and what in your opinion is the best wall color!
its lime green now ( yuck..)
thanks! i rate 5's
I've decorated my WHOLE house from goodwill and thriftstores and garage sales for a fraction of the cost and I love it!
As for color.... I'd go to your local paint store, or hardware store.... grab a handful of those paint chip chart things.... of colors you feel the strongest about.... go with you deepest feelings.... and then take them home and set them in your bedroom.... for all times of the day and night under all lighting conditions...
Stay away from dark, real bright colors.... in your bedroom you want softer more relaxing colors free of intense and strong vibrations.... I tend to use white alot as everything goes with it and you'd be surprised at all the things you can do with it and how many shades of white there really are.... also, if there are houses close to yours consider what color they are because the light will bounce of their into your room if close enough. A good example is the neighbor to my west.... there house is a medium yellow and altho my bedroom is a light warm white... my warm has shades of yellow because of their house and the light bouncing off it...
Good luck...and remember those colors that make you feel good are your absolute best choices.... give those colors chips a week or so for you to feel the colors for what they offer and would add to your life and the experiences you'll have inyour room.... Happy Heart Day to you!
Hi, I'm a columnist on this site (lauraxomichelle) but I need some advice of my own. It's actually mostly for my mom. When she got married 20 years ago, she bought a beautiful set of dishes at Bradlees, which is now closed. They were by Home Beautiful, style JP 303 ambrosia. If anybody knows of websites that sell them (like, legitamite sites) or stores (we're in the southern New England area) it would be a great help! thanks so much!
I'd search ebay or amazon.com.... I've had very good luck finding things I was searching for that I couldn't find any place else and haven't had a bad experience yet!!! I'll be there's help out there so don't give up and Happy Heart Day to you!
lately i have been getting heavy distarge right after i get my period. It really smells and i feel wet and uncomfortable. Is there anything i could do to make it not as heavy or smelly? thanks
second reply to original post
I didn't call you fat.... and because of your rating.... I will STOP giving advice here, you are very rude and it wasn't my attempt to be rude to you....
I said IF you are overweight....
perhaps you should read every word of someone's comment before you throw around such ungrateful ratings....
I had really enjoyed being here, and spent hours upon hours replying to issues here, but NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!
If you're not open, truly open to comments, then I strongly suggest you not post an issue here asking for such!!!!! Sorry, but this is just too much for me, my time is pretty important to me...as I don't have much left... I'm 61 and I have a great life and enjoy every minute of it... and I myself right now am about 20 pounds overweight.... but it won't be on me come spring!!!!! And I've had vaginal discharges myself... and when I was married to a working herbalist for ten years, I saw him help young women with herbs with their menstral problems.... so I know there's help for you, but you're only looking for certain answers I guess, which is your right to do so.
Now think about how your reaction has affected the others around you.....and perhaps before you push the button, you'll think twice next time!
Goodbye Advicenators!!!!
original post
yes, I'd do some research..... look for some herbal remedy books...there are many good and fine herbs you can make teas out of that will help our female issue.... eat right, if you're over weight, do what you can to lose some of it and stay away from too many sodas, esp diet ones....they are soooo bad..... or you could visit with an alternative healtcare practioner in your area, an herbalist or naturopath... it sounds like your ovaries might be clogged and some good herbal combinations/teas could help that, they did for me.... be sure to douch after each period, it will refresh your female areas inside and out..... good luck and Happy Heart Day!
so i just started shaveing "down there" and it never comes out like a good clean shave is there anything i could do to make it softer skin and get all the hair?
I use to do it.... I always used a straight edge razor of my dad's, they shave closer to the skin, but be very very very careful and use some good suds...or shaving cream.... not so much that you make a horrible mess... but it lasts longer than a shave with other types of devices....guaranteed.... good luck!