|
my older brother needs to grow up
I am a 16f. I'm concerned about my older brother. He is 27 and he still lives at home with me and my parents. He lives in the basement. He is unemployed and extremely lazy. He usually sleeps in until 1 in the afternoon, then for the rest of the day he'll either watch MTV or play on his X box. He doesnt have to pay rent as he is unemployed. He also doesnt do any chores, and never washes his own laundry. I am angry at my parents, and feel like they are just enabling him. He can never get a gf because as soon as they find out what a lazy mooch he is they want nothing to do with him. How can I convince my brother that he needs to get a job, and get his own place? If I don't do anything my parents will probably let him live in the basement until he's 50. He's also really depressed and unsatified with his life.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
hey well youve got yourself a real problem. have a nice long talk with him about his life. tell him to maybe apply to a store. even dunkin doughnuts if he ahs to. have your parents tlak away the x-box and tv. make him get on wiht his life. cait ♥
]
What does he do for 'spending money'? Do your parents give him that? I would imagine he's using pot, that all sounds like the mannerisms heavy pot smokers live by. No I've not every used myself...but I've watched as a couple people I've known did and they always, ALWAYS mooched off others or family.
If your parents don't give him very much money, so how is he meeting the expense of his silly habit? Does he go places and have no explanation or witnesses of his activities? He isn't bringing questionable people to your home is he? That wouldn't be a good thing esp if they are 'visiting' in the basement.... laid back people in self-induced stupers might cause problems down there that can harm the rest of the family, not to mention the home everyone lives in.
This is a pretty serious situation.... but I don't think there's much the little sister can do about it... it is a parental issue! Continue to stree to them they would be doing the 'whole family' something very good if they forced the brother to be more responsible. He's not serving as a very good example for his siblings.
Beyond watching, observing, journaling his activity and behavior patterns, I'd sort of stay clear and just try to work with your parents.... surely they must know more than you believe they do....if not, they need to take more responsibility...can you go to other family members with your concerns and make it clear you are really really really concerned for your welfare and the safety of your home.
I wish you well... and I feel you would be very wise to focus on yourself, your school work, yo grades, your health and continue your campaign with those who will listen. Is there a city group that are advocates for young people or a church group that can listen and notate what you're witnessing. This will document what your family is going through.....
I hope you have a very Happy Heart Day and that one day your brother gets his act together... what you do do because you love him and your family not as a retalliation against what you feel are his problems... everyone gets down on their luck sometimes, but to live in the abyss of self-denial and dysfunction doesn't add to the quality of anyone's life.
Relax about all this.... it will work itself out and making it your problem takes away from the quality of your own life.... but watch for matches, candles and inflammables downstairs.... because if the basement burns so does the house!!! Your parents would be most wise to watch for this also. Statistics say matches and candles cause a lot of homefires and even deaths.
]
Your parents need to do something about this. It is their fault. They need to make him leave. Nicely of course, but he definitely needs to go. They can take away his xbox like he's a ten year old if they have to. It's their house and they can't let him take advantage of them like that. There was an episode on Dr. Phil about this very thing. See if you can get a copy of it. I hope everything turns out okay and good luck!
]
Hes depressed because he hasn't got a life of his own. Working actually give a person some sense of worth.
You probably won't be able to tell him much that he will listen to. You parents however, need to give him a date (not a year but a week or two), to be out by. They need to stick to their guns and job or not give him the boot.
What they have to realize is that by enabling him, they are actually doing more harm than good.
They won't be around forever. When they are gone he is left with absolutely no way to fend for himself.
He really needs to get to work. Pretty soon nobody will hire him because he hasn't got a work
history. You could tell him that much.
Good luck. :)
]
He has a great life.
I wish I could live like that.
]
More Questions: |