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Confused Love
OK, so I like really like this guy. And he's like basicly in love with my best friend. And she doesn't like him at all like that and she's been trying to hook us up for a while, but I don't think it's going to happen. But that's besides the point. I'm like not "oh my gosh gorgeous pretty", but I'm not "eww she's ugly" either. But every guy I've ever liked, has either gone out with, broken up with me for, or has been head over heals for one of my best friends. And I mean I'm a happy person. Like happy all the time like 99.9% of the time. And then when they tell you all about them and how great they are, like it really upsets me. But I don't want them to know it. My last two boyfriends have broken up with me because they were in love with my best friend. But I mean how would you deal with always having your best friend get the guy that you want? Or like your best friend ALWAYS being prettier than you and getting the guys attention. How would you deal with this? Please, if you can let me know, because I don't know how long I can stand being around them anymore with all of the guys I like. (14/f) P.S. I'm not a self centered witch. I'm probably one of the nicest, friendliest people in the world. This issue just bothers me a whooooooole lot!!
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I'm in your position! I know what you mean. I have a friend who gets ALL the guys. All of them. And a lot of the guys I've liked have liked her. Whenever I like someone and see him smiling at her, it makes me want to scream! Don't get me wrong, she is a wonderful friend whom I cherish. But that one little detail (the fact that she's a guy magnet) drives me nuts! Okay, enough about me. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. :o) Plus, it's always nice to vent, especially when it helps someone else. Haha.
The fact that your friend is trying to hook you and this guy up is great; It shows that she's really a good friend and that she wouldn't go behind your back and go out with him.
Another thing I'm saying is not to blame it on her. The feelings are his, not hers. Everyone has free will; she couldn't have made him like her. She can't make this guy not like her, either. So don't yell at her, accusing her of things like, "You ALWAYS get the guy!" This will probably make her feel guilty, and she doesn't need to have those feelings. You could even lose a great friend doing that.
Here's how I deal.
I just try not to let it bother me, as much as it does. There's no point in losing a friend for a guy. It isn't her fault; I don't blame her. I just know that one day, there will be a guy for me that loves me for me, and doesn't have those kind of feelings for my friend.
I don't dwell on it. That will only make you feel bad, and you'll lose confidence. If you get negative, you'll be living your life being envious and compare yourself to her constantly.
Don't lose confidence because of this.
If you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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I'd let it all go and kind of start over..... and you're still young... to worry and fret about this issue now isn't the best use of your time.... and if life is this difficult for you now, I can tell you you aren't going to like the rest of it much.
Most important thing is to love yourself just as you are... be proud of that beautiful human being you are and let life come to you... you're trying to push and pull and make something happen.... and you're pushing the best outcome away from you circle of endeavor.
I suggest you focus on school work, sports, extracirricular activies or ????? and everything else will one day fall together and you'll be soooo amazed that is was sooooo easy.
I understand how you must hurt inside when your best friend gets our guy.... but was he really your guy? Was he the best outcome for you really? Aren't you glad to be alive and enjoying school and socializing beyond this issue. Turn your attention and energy into something that adds to your life... seems to me this is dragging your energy down and you deserve better in my humble opinion....
I hope this helps and that I didn't come off being too push, bossy, or silly. I am a pretty old woman, but I'm a hip one! Ha!
Just relax, you're young, you have soooo many wonderful moments ahead of you, but you're missing half of them focused on something that's not deserving your time and energy. Be better to yourself kiddo and enjoy your hischool years, they go really really really fast!
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