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Q: I've spent the past 7 months recooperating from my last break up, my boyfriend really meant a lot to me.

Now I finally decided I'm back up for dating, and just when I decide that, I meet the most amazing boy. We spent the night together. He was so sweet, and he had all the qualities I've been looking for. When I was around him, I felt like I could just live in the moment forever, he actually made me feel like I was worth something.

He gave me his number and asked me to call him, and so I did. But he didn't pick up, three times I left messages, and he hasn't responded. I've sent him text messages, and it will take him hours to respond, mainly with only one word answers like "Cool", "Ok", "Yea", and answers like that.

I want to know, what do you guys think I should do? It's been 2 days since I last called or text messaged him. Should I try again? Or should I just give up all hope?

This was the best way for me to feel better to. (scarcasm) Finally recover from a break up, meet someone, then have them ignore me.

Sorry, sweetie, you just got 'faded'. This is a typical guy technique (I myself have used on a number of occasions) to basically 'fade' out of a girl's existence. I simply would not take her calls or check my caller ID. I would move my things out of her apartment before I'm ready to go. It's really quite useful and effective. It's also an asshole maneuver made by and perpetrated by guys like me. Simply put, you got used and once he used you, he's movin' on. You have options at this point. Move on yourself or get back at him. I'd suggest move on because karmically speaking, what goes around comes around and he'll get his due punishment in the right time. That said, if you DO want to get back at him, there's a few possibilities. You could try keying his car (a classic attack) or, if you're inventive, could hide raw meat in a place he'll never be able to find (like under the floor of his carpeted bedroom) or date one of his friends and talk about how small his penis is. If there's one place a man doesn't like to be attacked, it's his penis. A penis is a man's pride. It's what makes him a man. To belittle it, if you'll excuse the pun, is the same thing as cutting it off. No, I take that back, it's actually worse because you can always sew back a lopped off penis but it's much harder to heal a man's fragile ego. Only the strongest of men and smallest of egos (such as myself) would be able to throw off such attacks. It's your call.

Q: ok, i saw on the back of my monster can that you shouldn't drink more than 3 cans per day. i was wondering why? what are some of the risks if you do have more than 3 cans? cause i drink it a lot, and some of my friends even have more than 3. thank you.

Ever hear the old adage, too much of a good thing is bad. To easier explain, say you were stranded on a island but the island was full of your favorite food, say, pepperoni pizza. No sausage. No mushrooms. Just pepperoni pizza. It tastes good that first week right? But can you imagine 30 years later and all you've eaten is pepperoni pizza? Not a chance to sample a sausage pizza or supreme pizza. Or any other food for that matter. No cake, no pie, no cheesecake, no steak, no pork chops, no buffalo wings, no chocolate, no candy. NOTHING. but. pepperoni pizza. You'll be sick of it. Well, same can be said of energy drinks. I can pop off 6 Red Bulls myself in one sitting but it's stupid to do so and I've never done it again since my heart is pumping so fast I feel like i just took some speed. It's just not a healthy thing to do. Just because you CAN drink a lot doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Q: my parents have been really fucked up lately. i noe i shouldnt say that but it is true. i am 14 and they already telling me i CANT date or marry a black or mexican guy. just because they dont like them. i have called them raciest about it because they shouldnt be saying shit like that. this all started because my friend who is half black and half mexican was calling me and they found out about it. the shit my parents tell is bullshit. they wont let me talk to my friend because of his color. he isnt a bad guy. he was going to come to my house so i can give him something that he asked me for so i went outside to wait for him and my dad deicded that he had to come fallow me because he wasnt going to leave a teenager outside at 7:30 pm by her self. happly my friend didnt come but my parents need to stop wit this shit. I cant stand them but i dont know what to do can someone plz help me???

Wait 4 more years. There's nothing you can really do at this point. I'm going to give you advice I would normally not give any person. My advice is to lie to your parents. While true that your parents are an influence into how you think and feel, they don't control it directly; you still have a choice. Since you're more enlightened than your parents, give them what they want. Tell them what they want to hear and always have a friend (in this case, white) give you a rock solid alibi so they'll let you out of your cage. To tell you the truth though, I think your parents are more concerned about their 14 yr old daughter hanging out w/ a boy of similar age. Simply put, you're a teenager raging with hormones. They don't want you to be pregnant which is a logical reaction. However, their reasoning for that reaction is stupid. A white boy could just as easily impregnate you as a non white boy.

Q: just got out of a bad relationship, verbally and sorta physically abused. known him all my life, devestated that hes ruining his life with drugs, going threw bad depression, being forced to see doctors... all the advice is the same from everyone, theres not much else i can do, was hoping to hear some different views... ?
-one sad girl

Date and date some more. Dating is the process of getting to know someone on an intimate level. Some ppl you click with. Others you don't. Obviously this one was a non-clicker. Keep chuggin' along till you find one that does.

Q: Well my boyfriend of six months just broke up with me and we both are totally in love with each other and always have been but this isn't the first time we've broken up. Though the reason we have broken up is because we have both been really hurt in the past and are really scraed to let any one get close to use even though we are really already close to each other. I know I want to go back out with him but how do I tell him that I want to go back out with him but can't break up again because of him being scared to let me get close. I mean this time it really tore me up I haven't got any sleep and been crying all week. Plus the thing is we are already both superclose to each other. I rate high please help!!

Breaking up. Get back together. Rinse, repeat. Sounds like a broken record. I will commend you for being analytical enough to recognize that you are both afraid of getting close and that's the crux of your problem. Since you recognize it, now the only thing left to do is find a solution. Here is mine:

Stay away from each other for a month.

Absolutely no contact whatsoever. This is to test the resolve and stability of your relationship. If, after the month, you still have deep feelings for each other, then I'd say you had a pretty good chance at a long term relationship. Caution: only 2 things certain in life - death & taxes - so there's no guarantee that a particular relationship will last. Relationships are like old swords - if not taken care of and maintained, it will become rusty and dull. If a relationship is tempered by time/hardship/pain/love and is capable of still working, then, like a sword again, it will shine anew and last a thousand generations.

Q: Ok there is this girl that i have been best friends with for about two years. we arn't as close anymore because of fights. but ever since i met her i like, loved her. i cant get her out of my head. although im young (13) i know this isn't immature love. everyone seems to think im crazy because no matter how many times she breaks me, i still love her. i have been with her before, but... im not over it. i miss her so much. but the thing is, now, whenever im somewhere and she comes along. i wish she never came and just went home. but yet, i still feel the same way about her. and im not sure what i want completly. at the time, the thing is that i dont know how to get her out of my head. im starting to really lose consentration. im doing worse in school and im always sad. if anyone can please help me. i know its hard since i cant really ask a direct question... but try. i really miss her..

Ah, yes, 'puppy love'. Despite the fact that you say you love her and claim it's not immature love, where is your proof? Your feelings of love aren't false - however the love itself is. If she is 'breaking you' yet you keep coming back for more, that's not love, that's someone who likes to get punished. Love, as stated in another answer for another question is about sacrifce, commitment, and endurance. Love means sometimes sacrificing your happiness for your love's benefit. It means commiting your all to do whatever it takes to make your love's happiness come true. It means having the endurance during times of pain and suffering (sometimes after the death of a loved one) and to go on with life. Due to your age, I wouldn't doubt that this girl is one of the first girls you've fallen in love with. If you're smart then it won't be your last. I'm not telling your to go around loving every girl you meet. Instead, I'm telling you that there will be other girls to fall in love with. The one you love who loves you back is the only person that can make you happy. If this girl doesn't love you it's a one way love and that is not love, it's called stalking.

Q: My friend told me about a free place where you can download music called Ares. The thing is, it's not a legal program. My friend says that it doesn't do anything to mess up her computer, but I'm afraid to put it on my computer. Has anyone ever had any experience with Ares? If so, is it safe to put on your computer, or will it mess it up? Please help!

You're better off trying one of the legal sites but if you're really smart, you'll find one of the good free programs, of which I can tell you definitively, Ares is not one of them.

Q: there is this kid in my grade that likes me, the only problem is that he is a total geek and i don't even like him as a friend (not because he is a geek though, because he is annoying)
Now he told everyone that he IS stalking me and that he likes me!
what should i do without hurting his feelings?

Fuck hurting his feelings. Stalking is a messed up activity. Why should you care for the feelings of a crazy ass mofo? Tell him to stop, tell your parents that he admitted stalking you. If he doesn't stop, get your parents to ask a judge for a restraining order. If he gets anywhere near you, the restraining order can get him arrested. But I'm guessing he's not 18 yet so even if he does get arrested, he'll only go to juvie or 'baby jail' as I like to call it. At the very least, getting arrested for stalking should make him think twice about stalking again.

Q: I have been having a problem with staying erect lately I dont seem to have any problem getting it up but when its time for intercourse it seems to go down I still feel excited but the equipment does not want to corporate. any suggestions please help

If you've got some heavy stress in your life, it's time to sort them ASAP. Having a lot of anxiety can lead to erectile dysfunction which will give you more stress which will lead to even more erectile dysfunction and so on and so forth into a never-ending downward spiral. If it's not anxiety, it could be something as simple as bad food. I've had bad Chinese that was bad enough to make me not be able to perform but after having some fruit, I found myself to be more invigorated. I'm not suggesting that eating certain fruit will give you the natural equivalent of Viagra but it might just be an unhealthy lifestyle. Eating bad food or lack of exercise will definitely contribute to a lack of saluting from your soldier. If it's not one of those reasons, then it's time to hit the heavy guns and talk to a doc.

Q: my name is amy iam 18 and i recently got out of my three year relationship with my first love david. we had an awesome relationship with no major difficulties. the only pitt fall of us was that early in our relationship i cheated on him, it was nothing serious, but it took a lot for us to get through it, but we did and we were very happy up until now. i was the cause of our breakup because we were both going into our senior year and i felt like some healthy space between us would be good. we both agreed that we didnt want to just be completely done so after about three months of taking things slower and casually dating around we both decided to get back together. a week after this mutual he decided to date erika. she had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years just a couple of days before her and david got together. her brother had recently committed suicide due to steroids that had been supplied to him by erikas boyfriend which promoted her to break up with him. i was mad and hurt when i found out and just gave david all the cliche "i hope you know what your loosing" and "no one can love you the way i can" lines. he only replied with an "iam sorry i will always love you". we didnt talk for two weeks, then he started to randomly call and text message me, while he was still dating erika. i stayed strong and resisted him for a month. over thanksgiving break i finally gave in and answered my phone. we talked for hours about nothing and made plans to go job hunting the next day and try out our new relationship as "friends". although i acted as if nothing was wrong the next day, i was hurting inside so bad. all i wanted to do was say how much i missed him and how i wished he would take me back. but i didnt. i held back my emotions until i was in the privacy of my room. i promised myself then that i was never going to call him first, and i haven't to this day. if he wanted to hang out he could call me. we went a couple of days without talking when he called me one night and asked me to come over to look at something he got for his car. it was late and against my better judgement i went. we ended up getting intimate and we both cried to each other and came to what i thought was the understanding that we both werent ready to be "friends" and to just treat this night as closure and i asked him to not call me anymore. that lasted about a week. since then we have been off and on for five months now, he has intimately cheated on erika countless times with me that she doesnt know about. i know that our relationship is wrong and unhealthy and ive tried to cut it off many times but i always give into him becuase he doesnt listen to me when i tell him not to call. i would always avoid the erika subject around david mostly because i was afraid of what i was going to hear, but i recently got up the courage to ask him if he really loved her. he said that he really did and i told him that i didnt believe him, and i still dont. i told him to leave my room if he really loved her and he quickly changed the subject and stayed the entire night. when i asked him how and why he loved her he said she was really caring, implying that i didnt care about him because of the mistake i made so early on in our relationship. i dont believe that david loves erika not only becuase he cheats on her, but he doesnt even have the decency to tell her about it. i feel as thought david feels obligated to her because of her brther and becuase of how fast she attatched herself to him because of how vulnerable she was. although we have finally stopped telling each other we love each other i know with everything that we still do. he still tells me that he doesn't want to lose me and that he has a lot of feelings for me still. ive told him that that is pretty hard to believe when he has been saying i love to someone else for the past five months and he never says anything back to me. i know iam not being nieve because i can feel how in love we are still when we're together, and not just physically, our best friend connection is still there. ive told him all of this and he doesn't agree or disagree. when i asked him recently why he never responds with anything relevant to what i ask, he said that he didnt want to say something to get my hopes up. i told him that i didnt care what he said to me as long as it was what he truly feels and if he truly feels like hes ready to just walk away from us and be with erika then he needs to say it so i dont sit around thinking something is there when its not. that conversation took place yesterday and he didnt reply and that was the last time we talked. i know the right thing to do would be to just move on and forget about him, but thats so hard to do when everything inside of me knows that we're going to be together and that he truly loves me. we are going to be starting the same college in the fall so it not like its going to end after high school. i dont want to lose my best friend but i cant handle being on his back burner anymore. i know that we could be happy again, and i know that he doesnt love erika. i just really want to know the right words to say to him, and if i should follow my heart and try to be with the one person i have ever loved or if we are just doomed. i want my best friend back. please help me :(

Damn, that was a long story! Anyway, I don't think you're seeing this for what it really is. David is getting the best of both worlds. It's a prototypical case: Erika is the gf or as I like to call'em - the main course - while you, Amy is the mistress which I call - dessert. You're not seeing this from a complete prespective. Think about it. If David is willing to cheat on Erika whom he 'claims' to love, how much more willing do you think he would be do the same to you if/when you get back together? Even more so since you've given him an incentive to do so. Since you initially cheated and still expressed interest in him, he feels like he has a 'get out of jail' card in case you decide to call him on it. I know I would (and have). The exact words I used were: "Who are you to tell me who I go out with? You have no right to tell me anything since you did it first. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Sure it sounds petty and vindictive (and it is) but she could never deny me that. Ever hear the old cliche': "there's no going back"? Well, there isn't... unless you have time machine. Even if you want him back, he might not feel the same way. So your only option is to move on. You obviously have not had closure (and sex can NEVER BE closure since it's a good excuse to have ex sex) and need to do it soon. Closure means you're done in the relationship; nothing more needs to be said or done. Until you have it, you'll just keep pining away for an unrequited love.

Q: I'm 15/f and a freshman in highschool. Lately I've been having problems with my phys. ed. teacher. I'm not going to be around the bush about this, but he's an asshole. (excuse my language). He's always such a jerk to me about every little thing. A friend of mine had a shirt on that she changed into for PE that had a picture of George Bush Sr. and George Bush on it and it sayd Dumb and Dumber under their pictures. He had a fit about it and I was supporting her saying that she can have an opinion about whatever the heck she wants to. He basically said she's not allowed to have an opinion about it until she's 18. Then he proceeded to say how he can run his class the way he wants to and if I have a problem with it to take it up with the principal. Not only is he a jerk, but alot of the time he seems like one of those really creepy pedophile type people. He's always staring at me when we do stretches and stands behind me when we're doing toe- touches. We had to do jumping jacks this weird way and I'm not coordinated enough to do it so he asked me to stay after class about it. We were doing lay ups when we played basketball and I suck at any sport that involves a ball and he asked me to stay after class to work on it when there were about 5 other people that sucked 10 times worse than me but didn't ask them to stay after. What exactly should I do about this? I mean, he hasn't made "a move" on me so I can't really say much about that but what should I do? Sorry this was long!

Smart girl and yes, your teacher is an asshole.

Your teacher is probably a pedo but considering he hasn't done anything (yet) there's not much you can do. Tell your parents about the PE teacher's dirty looks. At the very least, he should back off from the leery looks. You DO however have a chance to get this prick in trouble. He has no right to tell you that you can't have an opinion. Throw the First Amendment in his face. Better yet, take his advice and take it up with the principal. Tell the principal that he is denying your friend's rights to self-expression. If you feel the need to go the legal route, talk to some from the American Civil Liberties Union or the ACLU as they're commonly known. I'm sure you can find it on Google.

Q:
im a girl and Im not a lesbian or bisexual & i dont ever want to like make out with a girl/date one or anything..but i get reallyyyy turned on when i like think about girls being active w/ echother..is this NORMAL

Well, you might in fact be bi. There's nothing wrong with that. Or you could just be curious. It happens. It's normal to have those feelings. It'll take a while to sort out who you are as a person but in no way is it weird... except for old farts who can't adapt to different situations. Fuggedaboudit!

Q: ok so i like this boy and he likes me....we like eachother a lot..and i don't want to be his gf but i do! and he wants to be my bf.. .his friends asked me" so do you want to be "" gf" and i say not yet...but inside i totally want to say yes..then his friends tell him and he aslways sais " its ok ..thats fine..i will just wait" and i think that is sweet and all but ...well i don't know what to do...help fast!

Decide. You waste more time seesawing between 'should I?' or 'shouldn't I?'. That time could be spent doing stuff couples do - going out to movies, hangin' out, etc. instead of sittin' there thinking. What's holding you back from being his gf? Are you worried that your friends won't approve? If you are, then stop. It's shallow to think that way and only stuck up snobs do that. Are you worried he's only in it for the sex? Well, here's a good reason not to be his gf. If he just wants you for sex, there's no point. Tell him to find an easier girl and find a guy who will actually care. Are you worried he won't know what to do being the bf or you won't know what to do being the gf? Well, that's what a relationship is - to get to know each other better. You won't know unless you decide. So decide already.

Q: I'm the one u said sounded desperate.. no actually im not easy- im far form it. ive had many chances that i turned down just cuz it wasnt right. But I really think i fell in love with his guy whether he loves me back or not. I wish he did and id do anything for that second chance. But he knows how i feel about him and hes told friends he likes me too and everything and he knows that im not easy or anything like that and told his best friend he wouldnt have sex with someone he didnt have feelings for or care about. So i dont know what to do because im spendin time with him my friend and her crush which is his best friend this weekend and if it ever happens thats probably when, i just need opinions to help me decide and everything.

Well, the sensation you feel right now might seem like love but it could be infatuation or 'puppy love'. Infatuation CAN become true love but it needs to be tested. Love hurts... A LOT. It means going through emotional roller coasters and pain that can only be found in a truly loving relationship. I think one of the reasons for a lot of divorces nowadays is that people are in love with the idea of 'being in love' and not actually 'being in love'. It's a slight difference. They love the idea that this one person will be there for them always and forever... until one day, they decide that they can't handle dealing with paying the bills and dropping the kids off to school and break up. Love is like tempered sword. It requires going through Hell and back. Love means being there for him when his dad dies of a sickness and he wants to lash out at the world - including you - and still care for him when he insults you and calls you bad names even though you know it's just the pain and suffering talking. Love means supporting him in the stupidest ideas no matter how absurd you think they are. And it works both ways. Is he willing to do anything for you? Love is not easy. If he cannot love you back then your love is hopeless because he will not return your feelings (even if you sleep with each other. Ask yourself, 'do I really love this person and want to be with him always?' If you can answer that, to yourself, WITHOUT hesitation, despite all the trouble it may bring, then yes you may be in love. But ask him that question as well. If he looks away from you to think about it for even a split second, you can be sure that he isn't ready for love yet... but he'll sleep with you anyway.

Q: I like to be, well, free. When I'm in my room and the doors are closed I like to take off my shirt. I don't mind the free feeling, but I also go and stand in front of my mirror and look at myself. Is it wrong to look at myself like that, because I don't just do it for a short amount of time, I ususally have a stuck stair at my boobs.. what do I do, is this wrong?

Well, it depends. From a 'big picture' kind of point of view, no it's not wrong. But taken in a certain context there may be.

If you're a girl, and you're staring at your boobs, why are staring at them? Are you having sexual fantasies about them being fondled? If so, then by who? Male or Female? Are you checking for lumps that might be malignant? Are you trying to imagine how you'd look in that dress you just bought? Stress over boob size? To answer this question, I need to know the reasoning. I'm not a mind reader (although a lot of girls seem to think otherwise).

If you're a guy, there's no reason for you to stare at your boobs... unless you're considering a sex change operation or you're a weightlifter inspecting your body to see what you can do to shape your pecs (I recommend chesticles)

Q: Im a female and 15. Well theres a guy ive liked for a few years that i went out with before. We're really good friends and i know hes someone who i can count on. Well i kind of fooled around with him before but it didnt really change anything, still good friends, and not going out. Well my friends think im going to have sex with him and i kno that he wants to.. He told his best friend whos also my friend before he wouldnt go do anything with someone he didnt care about or have feelings for. i dont know if i should avoid doing that though or not. And rght now im not a virgin anyway so i dont see it as a big deal but ive only been with one guy. I really want to be with him and everything and he's told people he likes me but he doesnt want to be in a relationship rght now but im hoping i can change his mind. I dont know what i could do to get him to want to be with me again... But i would do anything. Please help with tips or advice Thanks

I sense a disturbance in the Force. Methinks you sound desperate. Don't be. If he really wants you, make he work for it. While I admit I'm no saint, every girl that I've always wanted to be with me after I've sex'd them were the ones that made me work for it. Seriously, if the boy wants you bad and isn't just in it for the bed squeakin' he's gotta put out 110% effort. Anything less means he doesn't care as much as an easier girl. You're not easy are you?

Q: My boyfriend like to fidle around with my chest, and oh do I not mind, I think it is pleasureable and feels incredible, but he also will ask me to touch myself like he does. The thing is, I don't mind touching my breats like that, I like the feeling of me touching them and it kind of turns me on. Is this weird or wrong?

No, it's neither weird nor wrong. Next question.

Q: 1)omg i waer a 34 b and my nipleas are like a different color tan my boob in like a lil cirlce and i have this lil point of a niples on both .. is sumthing rong wiht me please give m egood advice i will give yoo a five is yoo tell me why becuase i no its not normal!

2)the niples are like crusty and thay hert and i have never had sex! okaii and itss not juss my period! if yoo have good advice please!!

3) whwn i get my period i hert so bad ill like cry ofrever!! i get horrible cramps ... i went to the doctor and she said a heating pad and meticine.. that doesent wok!!!

4) when i go to the bath room and i like wipe iand my finger actully tuches the inside it sticks soooo bad!! is that normal?

~~~~~~ i give 5's too ppl that give good advice okay not juss ... c a doctr!! wow thats great okay so i relly need help!! (13/f) okay so if yoo can help that would be awsum okaii luv yall bye!

Before I answer any of your questions, I gotta say I had a hard time understanding what you're asking since the spelling is horrible so don't blame me if I give bad advice since I'm basing it off what I 'think' you're trying to ask me. Also, since you didn't put (S) in your question, be warned I won't take your question too seriously and may throw some joke in there as well.

1) If your nipples are a different color than the actual boob then yes you are ok... if that different color is green, blue, or violet, it's time to get that checked out.

2) You're gonna hafta give me more detail. Having crusty ass nips could mean anything - too much wheat bread, not enough water, wrong SPF, etc.

3) First I need to know what kind of medicine you're already taking. Otherwise, I can't help. Be warned, I'm not a doctor. If you're taking some hardkore meds that shouldn't be taken with anything else, then you shouldn't listen to me. Otherwise, take 2 Advil to relieve the pain from the cramps... my cousin swears by it. You'll still get the cramps but the pain won't be like a sharp knife being twisted in your stomach but more like a throbbing needle that was heated on an open fire stove.

4) If it smells like fish, then it's probably just the period. If it smells like shit, you need to clean better down there. If it smells like fish & shit, it's time to see a gyny. Seriously though, it could be anything. I need to know your cleaning habits (for you pervs, I only need to know if she's cleaning right so stop those dirty thoughts - yeah, I mean you, the guy snickering). How often do you clean yourself down there? Are you using a tampon? Are you on the Pill? Do you have a burning sensation when you piss? Answer these and I think I can actually give you better advice

PS: Learn. To. Spell.

Q: Alright I was asked out by this guy i really like but the problem is that my friend likes him too. What should i do? Should i breack up with the guy and keep my friendship togheter, not that my friend won't be my friend anymore, or should i stay together with him and tell my friend that she will get over it?

All's fair in love and war. No person can possess any other person. If they did, it's called slavery. No person can call 'dibs' on another person. It's whoever that person wants to be with. Congrats! That person chosen was you. You friend will seeth and simmer with anger but if she was really your friend, she'd be happy either way (you getting the boy or her getting the boy).

Q: Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for about two months now and the guy hasnt even tried to kiss me. Like im sorry if i sound bad for saying this but i have needs! So I was wondering what are some ways i can turn my boyfriend on so that he'll wanna make out with me, or at least kiss me?

Your bf is a wuss. Help him become a man by taking charge and make the first move. He obviously won't.

bio

Like my name says, g'head make my day; ask me anything. I'll answer the boring (Is the sky blue?) to the bizarre (should I bring a glow-in-the-dark cock ring to the bukkake party?). I only have one request: if you want a serious answer, please do so using (S) as an indicator. Otherwise, I will decide whether or not to apply my witticism (which may not necessarily be witty) to yon inquiry.