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Boyfriend wants me to convert as a Muslim


Question Posted Saturday November 30 2013, 12:55 pm

Hi. I am 26 and I have a 26 year old Muslim boyfriend. When I first met my boyfriend, he wasn't a muslim yet. Last year he decided to become a Muslim, and he became really devoted to his religion. I'm a Christian. At first he told me he wouldn't push me to convert as a muslim. But these past few months, we are always arguing about our faith. He doesn't respect my faith and being so discriminating towards other religion. I told him I respect his faith but I don't want to talk about it anymore cause I don't want to argue. But he wouldn't stop. And tonight he told me that he will give me time to think about converting. I told him not to expect cause I'm really not going to change my religion. He said it will not work abd broke up with me.

I tried to understand this guy so much but I feel disrespected. Please help. I don't want our daughter to grow up without a father. Am I still going to accept him when he comes back to me? I'm sick of tired of arguing about our faith. I accepted him the day he told me he wants to be a Muslim but why can't he respect my faith? I was born as a Christian and I want to stay as a Christian forever. He told me too that he's not going to marry me if it's not in an Islamic way. Don't know what to do. :'(

Thank you for all your answers


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WittyUsernameHere answered Tuesday December 3 2013, 12:21 am:
Let him go. The relationship is screwed, and you'll be better off refocusing on building a life without him. Your kid didn't lose their father, you're just not together anymore.

Be civil, tell him you understand why it wasn't working and you want to stay broken up and be friends and raise the kid as parents who are not in a romantic relationship with him. Give him and yourself time and space, do not hang out or anything for at least 6 months, do not interact unless it's about the kid, and after half a year see if you can both be adults about not being together and having a kid.

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adviceman49 answered Sunday December 1 2013, 12:34 pm:
Let him go, this relationship cannot work. If he has become that devoted to the Muslim religion that you must convert for him then you will not be happy as I see him as of those converts that become overly dedicated.

He will have you wearing a Burqa and treat you as all devout Muslims treat women. You may also find that your once loving boyfriend was converted to the Muslim religion by factions of terrorist groups to become a jihadist. Something that law enforcement is finding to be more and more common. I'm not saying this is a fact, it is something that law enforcement is having to deal with to a much larger extent with converted Muslims.

As hard as this is for you; you in the long run will be better off without him.

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Pittguy answered Sunday December 1 2013, 12:09 pm:
In an ever diverse world, this seems to be becoming a more and more common challenge for today's couples. I personal know someone who is in a similar situation in that the female is Christian and the male is Muslim.

My personal belief on this is that we do not chose who we fall in love with. That being the case, we surely do not chose what race, age, gender and yes, religion they may be.

Taking your word on the idea that you respect your ex-boyfriend's religious views, I commend you for doing so. However, you cannot either control his lack of respect for yours or compel him to change that part of himself.

When people can "agree to disagree" and focus on their shared values and ethics such as the "golden rule" which is common across virtually all religions, they may be able to work something out. However, when one member of a relationship is unwilling to do so, there really is no relationship at all and this any romantic ties would be best to be severed.

In your particular case, I would probably let go of him as a boyfriend but see if he is willing to work on a friendly relationship for the sake of your daughter. If not, there is nothing more that you can do and her growing up without him is on him and not you.

I hope this helps.

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solidadvice4teens answered Saturday November 30 2013, 10:49 pm:
Cut him loose and fast! Nobody has a right to demand this of you or force their way regardless of the religion. If you don't want to convert than don't. You're better off without this person or you'll forever be miserable. You don't need this.

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lightoftruth answered Saturday November 30 2013, 7:19 pm:
Don't change for anyone.

He doesn't respect you enough to leave this alone and let you believe what you believe. He's trying to control you and it's not right. You shouldn't be with a man like this.

Your daughter can still have her father in her life, but it doesn't mean you guys have to be together for that to be possible.

Let him go and find someone who respects you.

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Razhie answered Saturday November 30 2013, 6:19 pm:
Let it go. Let this relationship be over.

He's a bully and an ass. He's controlling and disrespectful.

This wasn't the right relationship for you, and it's not healthy for your child for their mother to be bullied and disrespected by their father.

She wont 'grow up without a father'. He can still be in her life as a co-parent. If he can't respect things that are as important to you as your religious faith, than he can't be in a relationship with you. That doesn't mean he can't have a relationship with your daughter.

The best example you can set for your daughter is to be happy, confident and respected in your relationship. If he can't do that, then you can't be in a relationship with him.

So let him go.

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Xui answered Saturday November 30 2013, 5:49 pm:
This sounds almost exactly how my last relationship was.


My ex was Jewish and I am Catholic. Sweetheart, Unfortunately in many cases when one says that they won't drag you into their religion, When they become heavily involved eventually somewhere down the line it does become a problem.

You should NEVER change who you are for someone else. You are you, You are your own person. Not burn your rope here my friend but if he is this devoted to Muslim where he is beginning to threaten your relationship, It won't work out. Sometimes people tend to over think and over act on certain things. When one converts into a new religion they must want too for them, It must be in their hearts. If you did decide to convert at this time, You will not be happy. In the long run you will be beating yourself up over the fact that you sacrificed yourself for someone else and not for yourself. Unfortunately your relationship may have hit the end of it's road. Don't ever let a man manipulate his way into making you change, You are not his object and he does not own you. Find someone else who will love you as the person you are and will not let something like this ruin it. Please think about what I said, I am just looking out for you.

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