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My friends curse
I'm in middle school and i know a lot of people change in middle school but my friends have changed a lot. A lot of them curse now and it's really annoying because I HATE unnecessary cursing! And the just curse for know reason! And then one of my friends who actually goes to church with me used the f word and then put god right after it. I was like "REALLY?!?!". I mean I understand there's a lot going on with her parents and stuff and I've been supportive of that but know she curses and it's really annoying some of my friends have stopped when I don't them I don't like it but I would hate to loose a friend because the curse. :(
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Cursing only has power when you give it power. Sure, it's uncouth and distasteful, but it's typically just a phase that young people go through. Heck, when I was 16 I dropped F-bombs like nobody's business. Eventually I stopped when I realized that it just didn't look good on me.
You can't change another person's behaviour. Sure, you could give up a friendship over this, but it's just a word with an arbitrarily assigned meaning. I'm sure you curse in your own way: even saying things like "fudge", "sugar" or "darn" can be cursing depending on how you say it and what meaning you assign to it.
It's good to maintain your own set of values, but you can't push them on other people without a lot of backlash. You've got to decide whether or not it's worth losing a friend over a few words.
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I think the best thing you can do in this situation is talk to them about it and see if maybe they can try to stop cursing around you.
I agree with you that it's unnecessary but you can't change what people do. If they don't at least try to do that for you, then maybe they're not very good friends.
I don't curse either and all my friends know I don't, but they do. So they'll just not curse around me, or at least try not to. Except for one friend I had, he kept begging me to say a curse word. I kept telling him no. Anyways, good friends don't do that.
It's good that some of your friends stopped when you're around but you might want to express that you just really don't like hearing it. But other than that, I don't think there is much to do.
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If so many are cursing when they didn't in grade school, maybe they made a sudden switch once they got to middle school cus it makes them feel more grown up.
The only other reason for the few is individuals who are having trouble at home. Maybe a parent is ill, unemployed, maybe its battling what your friend thinks are unfair rules, maybe there is verbal or physical abuse, drugs, etc involved and yes...those kinds of things can happen in Christian families and are more likely to go undetected because as christians, people are too afraid to ask for help and shatter the goody goody image they might have had with other parishiners, and pastor/priest. People find it hard to swallow their pride and ask for help.
So only you know what is going on for the one family who hasn't stopped cursing. If she isn't asking for help and feels a need to curse to release stress, give it some time. You'll see it doesnt help. She'll be as miserable. Then you can try pointing out the fact that though you dont like cursing, you continued to hang with her due to your friendship. But the cursing has not helped at all with her stress, with what is making her unhappy or worried. So why keep using something that doesnt work. Thats when you might suggest she find someone she feels she can trust to talk to about her issues...just in case its teasing, bullying or something else that could potentially be very harmful. There's always the school counselors. They do get issues that aren't related to school and it helps having another adult to use as a sounding board in case she does have some serious issues.
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I agree with you that it is not necessary to make yourself understood by injecting curse words into your conversation. In fact my personal belief is it is a poor individual who needs to curse to make their point.
Be that as it may you and I are in the minority when it comes to this point. Most teenagers think they are being very adult by using these words. Most adults think they are emphasizing their point by using these worlds.
Before I retired I worked as a field sales representative for a national manufacturer. I spent half my time on job sites and the other half of my time in people's offices. Because of this I made an effort not to curse. At a national sales meeting one of the other sales reps said something about never hearing me curse. My boss, who was standing next to me said he had he never had either.
I told them I know all the words I chose not to use them because I don't want to become confused and use them in the wrong setting. Besides I am perfectly capable of making my point without using them.
Moral of my story is this. You are not going to change the world. You are not going to change your girlfriend. The only thing you can control is your little piece of the world. My boss and others who knew me chose not to curse or at least attempted not to curse when around me. It was actually a little comical to watch them try not to. It didn't bother me if they did. I chose not to out of respect for those who may not like to hear those words. Others had to make that choice for themselves.
The choice you have to make is can you put up with our friends 4 letter aria or can she learn to tone it down when around you. For her it is called respect. For you it is called tolerance.
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Well if they are your real true friends they will
Respect you enough to at least not do it around you
Or show the attempt to try and catch themselves
If they built The tolerance too from them doing all the time might take them a Lil bit to get in the habit to at least not do it
Around you and if they don't then they are not true friends and if I was youI be looking for new ones cause if they can't respect you on something simple like this then when something bigger comes up then they won't either
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