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My mom is mean to me, I'm always getting in trouble.
18/f
my mother and father fight a lot. This doesn't really bother me. It's the fact that she always takes her anger out on me. If idobt agree with her, I basically am discommunicated from the family for a few days, till I apologize. It's not fair. My brother will get in trouble for something, but then I end up getting grounded. My brothers are afraid of her, so yet always agree but I don't anymre, because she is usually wrong. She overreacts and always will start crying and will sy mean things to me. Like how I'm stupid or she hates me. I don't know what to do, or what to say anymore.
I really need some advice..
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me and my sister had the same thing happen to us and just talk to her when she is calm and just talk to one another and just try to work it out and everything should be fine. good luck and i hope you both can work things out. :-)
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Gently remind her who the MOTHER is and who the anger needs to be directed at. Don't do it in the heat of the moment, most situations like this only get worse if you pick the wrong time to talk, but when she's in a recpetive mood,(happy) or relaxed, speak to her with love and let her know your feelings and how much pain she is causing you with angry words. If it doesn't resolve the issue, consider removing yourself from her, she sounds toxic.
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Be aware that taking this problem to another adult outside your family is liable to create even more problems for you. She & probably your dad will NOT be happy about it.
Try this. Talk to your mother about this when she is in a decent mood. DO NOT wait until the heat of an argument to do it.
Tell her that her arguments with your dad are not your business. You do not want them to be your business. And that putting you and your brothers in the middle of it is not fair to any of you.
It may not help, but she may think about it before starting in with you next time.
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I would have to say that not saying or doing anything is the best thing to do. Use any excuse possible to walk away from those situations when things get heated. There is a possibility that your mom is bi-polar and needs medical help. But typically people with those problems don't like to admit they have a problem and will deny needing help. If you can, you may want to talk to an adult outside of the family (school or church) and have them speak to your mom with your concerns. I hope things get better for you and I hope this helps.
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Hey there,
I can definately relate to what you are going through right now. My mom would take out all her frustration on me when she is having a bad day/angry at something and I would get the punishment by having her blame me for things that I never did, just listening to her yell at me for no reason, and have her not listen to my voice. I would get really fed up with it, upset, and even be in depression mode for a few days where I just wanted to be alone in my room with the door closed. If I didn't agree with my mom, she just got more angry and would want to argue that she is right.
What you need to know, is that disagreeing doesn't solve anything... It just creates more conflict. So, what I did, as hard as it was... was shut my mouth, listen to her rant, and then let her realize that I needed to be heard. If you don't say anything, your parents can't make a counter argument and ground you. They just say what they want, then let you be. Then you can wait until they calm down (cuz they will eventually) and ask them if you can make a suggestion or if they are willing to listen. Just say "I would really like it if you listened to me for a moment" or "Sorry, I didn't mean that". As hard as it may be, if you wait until they are in a state to listen (calm, relaxed) it will be much easier for them to hear you. Your brother just gets his way cuz he is probably younger, thats how it is in my house...
If your mom calls you names, tell her to "please stop". If she keeps saying things, just say "I'm sorry" and walk away. It is not your fault that they are fighting and it is worse to be in the middle of a fight. Keep your ground, be polite, and eventually it will wear down. You are a great person and you do have the strength to get through this. If you need to talk, you can always inbox me <3
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