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Guy friend treats me like a little kid, how do I stop it?
I know this older guy and he's hit on me before but he also treats me like as if i'm his little sister or something. At first I thought he was a gentleman (he would walk me back to my place even if it was far away just because he wanted to make sure I was safe) but then it started to get kinda crazy. I live downtown in a big city, and now he wants me not to go out unless I'm with somebody. I understand his worry, but it was noon in bright daylight on one of the busiest streets in the city. He also lectures me if i lie to my parents or anything like that and i kinda get the feeling that he thinks it would be better if i just stayed home and never go out because when I do stay home he tells me that he thinks it's good for me not to go out. He says that he thinks I shouldn't go out unless I'm with a group of friends cuz there will probably be more guys like him (much older) hitting on me other than him, and i understand where he's coming from on that one, and I'm flattered that he cares about my safety but I wish he would relax just a little bit. I don't even know him that well yet even. I do know that he's attracted to me but when we hung out when he was talking it was like a half lecture/half flirt. He was talking about how i should dress younger (i don't dress revealing.. i know when some people say "she dresses older" they immediately think low cut tops) and at the same time will tell me how sexy/pretty he thinks i am and look. Oh and even though he doesn't like me going out, he still does ask me to meet up with him. Anyways how do I get him to realize that for the most part I can take care of myself? He actually worries about me more than my parents do. He chases after me when I wanna do something by without him I kinda have a small crush on him even though that's probably really wrong and I want to continue our friendship (he doesn't know) but today I got a bit mad at him for treating me like I'm 10. W are both 16 and Im not immature either. I think i'm more mature than the kids in my school they don't take education serious, I don't goof off, I make good grades and Im in the top 10 % of my class. I tell him to stop treating me like a baby and he doesnt listen.How do I get him to stop treating me like a kid?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well maybe he really cares or maybe hes just showing you he likes you in a wierd way. . he might evenn be a bit strange, but give it time. . talk to him and let him know how you feel, stay with his friendship until you think its time to take him to the next level or even cut him off. but just remember. . be patient & talk to him. there's nothing better than communication in relationships AND friendships.
stay in touch, for more further questions or help, send me an email at beautifulLoveex3@gmail.com
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Everything Rahzie said is correct. He's a manipulative "nice guy" who probably expects his "older brother" routine to win your respect, admiration, obedience, and later probably sex.
He's "protecting you" from people who could interfere with his mission to have you worship and love him.
Run. Fast. And Far.
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If I were you I'd let him know immediately that you are more brighter and mature than he is treating you to be. I see how the majority of girls around your age act and I understand why he is lecturing you. You need to let him know that he is making you feel like a child and that you don't appreciate it. If he is a true friend he will cut back and starting treating you the way you want to be treated.
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Ok i think this guy maybe made some mistakes whilst younger... or saw some girls he was close to make mistakes he is lecturing about.
If i was you i would talk to him and tell him that your a big girl and you appriciate his advice every now and then but you dont want a baby sitter.
and you seem to be a girl that has got her head screw on right so hell soon see that and gradually learn :)
honestly i think he just wants you to be safe. he obviously cares about you. it might seem annoying but just try and take it n your stride. think of it and a protecting arm around your rather than an arm pushing you from behind
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Stop talking to him. Stop reporting to him on where you are going and what you are doing. Stop giving him those tools to control and bully you.
Unfortunately, you probably can't make him stop this, and keep his as a friend. You haven't known him that long, and right now you are seeing his true colours: This is a guy who uses the disguise of gentleman to try and force intimacy and obedience.
I know this sounds harsh. I'm a bit older than you have seen a few more guys run this kind of game. They often mean well, but in the end it is the same thing: They treat you like a princess and then get angry when you don't allow them to lock you up in the tower.
At very least, cool the friendship down and speak to him a bit less. The amount of contact you are having is likely feeding into his mistaken idea that he is responsible for you (ie, that you are not able to be responsible for yourself.) Keep telling him not to behave that way, but also show him he can't, by walking away from him and staying away from him when he does.
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