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Scared to send pics?
I've been in a long distance relationship for 9 months. We're recently broken up, and I showed my boyfriend fake pictures, and only JUST showed him my actual self a few days ago. I was terrified to tell him, but he actually took it MUCH better than I thought he would. He was a little upset at what I did, but said he still loved me, and if I 'work with him a little bit' by showing him more pics of my real self & maybe getting a webcam, then we could get back together.
We both have strong feelings for eachother, & I (stupidly) ended the relationship because I knew I could never meet him since I sent fake pics. But now, he knows what I really look like, and accepted me, so a relationship is possible again.
This is my only problem. I've only showed him shoulders up pics of me. I'm not fat..but curvy. He's a tall, lanky guy, VERY skinny, he only weighs 120 lbs! But, I weigh more than that, & I'm scared to show him pics of my whole body. He's been asking for 'bikini'/full body pics & for me to get a webcam, but I honestly don't have any bikini pics, because I hate my body. I think it's too curvy, and it's my #1 insecurity.
Anyway, I do love him, & I realize if he can get over me faking pics, & he does like my face..then can my body really be a cause for him to stop loving me? I'm just scared he'll be unattracted to me, and won't want to tell me because he's too nice.
Basically what I'm asking is: 1. How should I go about showing him pics of my full body? Just send him a bunch then say I have to leave quickly? (I don't want to be there when he sees them, hahah) 2. Should I get a webcam if he accepts the pics the way they are? It's not really like I'd be showing my body on there anyway, he'd really only see my face. Thank you.
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id say send pictures, you could take em wearing a bikini but like from the side , if you know what i mean, not like frontal pictures, i understand you're insecure about your body soooo having your hand on your waist will make your upper part of the arm look a bit slimer, and just like curving yourself so he'll focus on something else ! haha trust me it works, guys are veeery visual , like they usualyl don't notice other stuff if your butt looks good and stuff haha trust me girls worry more about this stuff than guys actually seing the picture of something they like, i'd do that, besides taking a picture with you standing like on a side it will make you look a little slimmer ,plus accentuate your curves if you have a nice butt :) and boobs which are the main things showing in this kind of picture haha ! so he won't focuse on something else hahaha if you put a frontal picture, he will most likely get a picture of your belly and stuff and don't know how you feel about it , but in my case that im not slim but im not fat, id do that definately :P good luck ! oh and btw if you want this to wrok you have to do it , or so i think, put yourself in his position, how would you feel....exactly .
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First off, thanks for asking me a question! Secondly, this is really heartbreaking to me, my friend. I can tell that this has really torn you up and I think you need a big confidence boost. You sound beautiful and seem to be a beautiful person and I am so thankful you're over 120 Ibs -- nobdoy likes a stick figure, haha. I love curves, they are so beautiful and that's a real woman, so you always keep that in mind. Do things that make you feel beautiful and treat yourself to little manicures (if you're like me and cannot afford to get those big fancy ones, do them yourself, it's fun), take a warm bath and relax, just whatever makes you feel at your best.
Now, onto your questions.
1) I do not think you should at all, friend. Actually, I think you were right in the first place by not showing him pictures of your actual self. I understand how that may make you feel guilty as you have been dating this guy over the internet for nine months, a considerably long time, however, you must remember -- this is over the internet, and guys aren't always what they seem (that's in real life, as well). Something that really bothers me is that he told you
to "work with him a little bit."
Please take a moment to think about that, doesn't that seem a bit disturbing? It's like he's trying to make you feel even more guilty so you'll surrender to him for his own sexual pleasure, understand what I mean? I don't like this at all friend and I know it's been nine months of your life talking to this guy online, but really, within the nine months, he shouldn't have even asked this of you. Of course, I am not sure of your age, so I'm not sure of any legal issues, but I find this a problem regardless of age.
2. No, this will only be giving into him more. I think that it would best to end this relationship friend. After all, you mentioned you'd never be able to meet, therefore, why waste your time any longer? You could find a guy who you don't have to "work with a little bit" for him to love or get back together with you. In fact, if he really loved you, would he really say that you have work with him a little bit for his own sexual needs? I think we both know that the answer is "no" to that question.
I'm sorry friend if you were looking for a different answer, but I have to tell you the truth. This is heartbreaking just to read, and I feel very bad that you have invested such time in someone who has only seemed to take advantage. However, I am so proud of you for NOT showing him the real you. Not because you aren't beautiful because I bet you are gorgeous, friend, you certainly are on the inside just from reading this -- but because it was the safe and right thing to do. Save yourself some trouble, more time, and heartache and ditch this guy, please.
Thank you again for writing me and I hope that you will take my advice. Please feel free to send me an update (just send it as a question to me, like this one) or if you have any more questions, I will be more than happy to answer it. Best of luck to you my friend, please keep your head held high and find your confidence and flaunt those curves, honey! :)
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Okay dear, this is how I see it..I think you SHOULD send him a full body shot of you. I mean, you'll have to do it eventually if you're going to keep a relationship with him. And even if he DOESN'T like your pictures, then he's a jerk and you don't want to waste your time with this guy anyway. But I doubt that would happen because he must think you're someone really special if he forgave you for sending him fake pictures. :). But to answer your most specific questions..
1. I would send him a few pictures and wait for his reply. Because if you just run away, then you're going to spend the rest of your night wondering what he's thinking and if he liked it, and so on and so forth. Like I said before, it's going to happen sooner or later, why not do it now?
2. If he accepts, and YOU want a web-cam, then go for it. Like you said, you'll only really be showing your face.
p.s. be sure not to let this guy take advantage of you. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, don't do it. :D Keep a good head of your shoulders.
<3Cookierat123
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Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I think online relationships are just plain creepy. You have NEVER met this guy. For all you know his pictures could be fake too. Look how easily you tricked him!
Getting a webcam is probably not a good idea. I hate to be preachy, but it just seems dangerous. What's the point of even being in a relationship if you have never met the guy? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
1. You can usually tell a person's general body shape by just looking at their face. If you are more on the curvy side, he could probably tell by looking at you. Obviously he doesn't care. Just send him one (fully clothed of course) and don't mention anything like, "I'm so fat, omg!" If you are confident he will sense that.
2. No. That's just my personal opinion, and it's only because I think it's creepy.
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If the guy is focused on seeing what you look like and that is all he seems to want to talk about, Then maybe that is all he is for.
Remember, Never give a picture away if you don't want it seen again. Although you too have a relationship and an understanding you never truly know who's eyes are going to see your pictures. It's just like that old saying "Never say what you don't want repeated"
If you do decide to show him a picture of your body remember that if he doesn't like it then simply he is NOT worth it, A guy should love you for who you are and not for your body. It's about personality who you are as a person not about having a model body and looking similar to Gisele Bundchen. You are who you are, Nobody is perfect and a man should respect you for who you are. If you don't want to show him a picture of your body then DON'T never ever feel pressured into doing so and if the guy doesn't like your choice of not showing a picture then the hell with him you now know that it's all he was in for. Good for you for having self respect
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I think first of all you need to work on accepting yourself and loving who you are and how you look. If you are unhappy about the way you look then you can always start working out a little to tone up, start eating better, etc. If you don't want to do these things and are happy with the way you are, then it doesn't matter what this guy says. If he really cares that much about how you look then he isn't worth your time of day. My husband is not only shorter than me but he weighs less than me and I too used to be body conscience, but he has helped me to learn to not only love myself, but that its not about what you look like its who you are on the inside.
Now as for showing him the picture, you could kinda tell him in a funny way, like "Now Im not one of those stick thin girls, I like to eat." He will know by your face shots that you aren't fat, because you can tell by face shots. Or you could just send them too him, you can even tell him that you are a bit self conscious about your body. If he really cares about you as much you think he does, then he will be totally fine with it.
You have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. If the person you THINK loves you tries to make you change or doesn't accept you for you, then they really don't care about you as much as you thought about it. You ARE beautiful in your own way, not matter if you are fat or skinny, tall or short, blonde or brown, you ARE a beautiful person :) Always remember that and never let anyone tell you difference.
& curves are wayyyy better anyway, I too am curvy ;)
Hope I Helped and Hope that everything works out.
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If you don't send photos, your relationship will likely end rather shortly.
If you do, your relationship has a potential to continue.
If you want this relationship to continue, you're just going to have to take that risk, suck it up, and let him see some more of you
Frankly, in your position I'd invest in the web camera option rather than just sending photos. Photos often look posed. Most people are prettiest and most endearing when they are moving. But don't kid yourself, if you get a webcam he is going to get a very good idea of your build and shape even if you don't show him, and you probably will show him, because he'll ask.
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you probably don't realize this, but guys thinks its waaay hot for a girl to have curves. really tiny, bony girls are a turn off because they have no curves and are flat on all ends (like myself). they also like for a girl to be open and outgoing about the way they look. so when you send him the pictures, work it! do some nice poses, wear you're favourite jeans or something to show off your legs, maybe do what he suggests and wear a bikini, something cool. this is a chance to get in touch with your body better. once you work at it and try to look nice in the pictures, you might notice "hey, some girls would KILL for boobs like these!" or "these jeans make my ass look awesome!" once he sees that you're comfortable AND pretty, he'll be so much more attracted to you. i promise, he'll like it better than any of those fake pictures you sent him. guys dont like fake chicks. all natural, beautiful women that just don't give a shit. :)
take care.
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