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being pressured
my boyfriend of about a year keeps indirectly pressuring me to have sex with him and it bothers me. and i feel kinda guilty cause hes on the football team and he gets pressured from people and i know that. but i wouldnt do it because of that, but im just really feeling pressured now, even though i never thought i would. but im not ready yet, cause im only a junior in high school, and ive told him that im not ready yet. what should i do?
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Tell him to stop it, and tell him firmly.
Sure, he's being pressured. Everyone feels pressure from thier peers. He shouldn't be passing that on to you or using that as an excuse to justify his hintng or badgering you about sex.
Explain to him simply and clearly that you are not ready to have sex with anyone. You know you aren't and his hints are obvious and not appreciated. If he plays dumb about what sort of 'indirect' things he doing, be ready to spell them out for him exactly. It is possible that he hasn't grasped where your bounderies are, or that he doesn't realize the effect of careless words.
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Stand your ground.
I played football in high school. Yeah, there's some pressure on the guys to get laid and to not be the guy who's every girls best friend. Not nearly as much as he's going to make it into.
You really shouldn't be so worried about his end of things. I really highly doubt that the teasing he gets for dating a girl for a year without sex is alot lower on his list of motivations than getting laid in the first place is.
How to solve the problem?
Tell him something along the lines of the following
"I'm not having sex until I'm ready. This has nothing to do with you, and I'm sorry that waiting sucks so much. Believe it or not, I'd like to fuck you too, but I'm not ready to have sex with anyone. You and I both know that won't last forever, but I'm not getting naked on anyone's timetable but my own, and I'd appreciate it if you'd try to tone down the pressure"
On the other side of things, high school guys are horny. Guys are horny in general, but in high school during the midst of puberty and testosterone infusion its alot worse. Buy him a fleshlight and some astroglide if he's not taking care of himself enough to give you some peace now and then.
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I understand about the foot ball thing but if he really loves you he won't pressure you into anything. If your not ready..your not ready. It's your body you know when your ready and if he won't wait, you don't deserve him as your bf. Don't do anything your not ready to do because you will regret it later. Don't feel guilty he should know how to handle the pressure, its hard but you can get threw it. I hope I helped and good luck ;)
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Don't do it. You should never do it if he is pressuring you. It is ultimitly your dicition. Who cares if he is on the football team. Who cares if people pressure him. If he really cares about you he will be willing to wait.
Think if this is the guy you want to be dating? A guy who pressures you into stuff you don't want to do. Is this fair to you? Do you want to be around this?
-E
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He shouldn't be pressuring you on this. He should respect you enough to let you come to it in your own time, if at all.
If he's getting pressure from the guys on the football team, and succumbing to that, then he's essentially saying that their feelings on the matter mean more to him than yours. Since when does the football team get any say on when and how you lose your virginity? THEY can have sex with your boyfriend if it's so important to them!
You should make it clear to him one more time that you will have sex when you are ready to do it and that the more he presses the issue, the less likely it is to happen. Lay it out in no uncertain terms, and tell him that he's putting your relationship at risk. Then, if he continues to push for sex... end it. Even if it hurts to do so, you'll be sending a clear message that you won't be pushed into anything you're not ready for, and that when it comes to sex, YOU decide what you will and won't do.
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just stand your ground and tell him how you feel again, tell him good things happen to people who wait, I told my boyfriend this and he stopped bugging me.
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ohh hormones..
but seriously, he shouldnt be pressuring you. he knows how you feel about sex, and just because his friends are giving him crap for not having sex with you, doesnt mean he should try anc change your mind. your his girlfriend and he should want to keep you happy more than his friends.
so talk to him. tell him that you know hes on the football team and thats kind of pressuring him to have sex with you, but you dont want him pressuring you and that you think youre too young.
its YOUR life, and you are the only one who lives it. and if he is going to keep pressuring you, you have t give him 2 options.. 1. stop pressuring you or youll break up with him. or 2. keep pressuring you and youll break up with him.
he'll get the point, and i know you probably dont want to be mean to him, but you dont want him to persuade you [because guys can be very convincing] and then you regret having sex with him. you really have to be stern with him and make him realize that no matter how bad he wants to, sex is not in the picture right now and probably wont be until youre older and hes going to have to deal with it or find someone else.
stick with what you believe in. i give you major props for not giving into the pressure. you go girl :] and you seem like a very smart and mature person, so dont lose that about you.
good luck, hope i helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo. hang in there.
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Next time he says something tell him he is making you uncomfortable talking like that. Tell him that you can understand his frustration, but you are not ready and don't want a guilt trip about it.
If he doesn't stop after that, you may need to reevaluate your relationship. Don't make excuses for him and don't feel guilty about your values. If he cares about you, he will stop.
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