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I think my dad is cheating...should I tell my mom?
Last night I came downstairs really late and saw my dad on the computer. I was walking through the house to go to the kitchen for a drink and saw that he was on some sort of video-chat with another woman. She had her top off though and my dad was typing to her.
Today I sort-of tried to see if my dad would tell me anything about what was going on last night. I said to him, "You were up pretty late last night. Was everything OK?" He said he was up getting some paperwork done for work. I couldn't really do any more confrontation about it but he didn't seem nervous at all.
Over the past month I've noticed my dad coming home late from work and taking private calls in my parents' bedroom sometimes. My mom doesn't seem to think anything is strange but I'm wondering if he is cheating on my mom.
Should I talk to my dad about this and tell him I saw him chatting with a half-naked woman? Should I tell my mom about what I saw? Should I stay out of it completely? I don't want my parents to break up or get a divorce so I want this to be handled properly but I don't know if I should bring it out in the open first. Advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
If your dad is doing the wrong thing tell him that you know and give him a warning of what might happen if he contiues. If he does not listen tell your mom and tell her that you are scared of what might happen. Remember they love you trust me. I had this problem and I told my dad I now and he said no he did not so i told my mom and showed proof.
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Working late, secretive phone calls, and spending a large amount of time on the computer are all signs of cheating and your dad seems to be doing all of those things!
going to work at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that your dad is cheating.
In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs.
Emotionsl affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your dad hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it is another sign he's cheating.
My advice is try talking to your dad about it first sit down with him and tell him exactly what you put on here, see what he says.
If he denies is TELL your mom, talking to a half naked woman isn't something a normal married man does unless they're cheating. and in my opinion your mom doesn't deserve it.
Don't stay out of it, because then your dad is going to just continue to keep doing it and your mom is just going to think he's working late or something, and he's never going to get caught.
ANY kid would tell there parents, trust me!
Hope my advice helps:)
and if you EVER need anymore help feel free to message me.
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For the sake of argument, it could have just been one of those amateur video porn sites, where he doesn't know the girl; he's just telling her what to do for cash.
In which case it depends on your personal definition of cheating. Just food for thought.
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I agree with mangy_momma, it is your father's place to tell her.
I think you should confront your father about it. He better have a damn good explanation for what he was doing (half naked women are not paperwork >_> ). If he won't tell you abotu it himself, just tell him what you saw on the computer screen. Get the facts. And if your assumption is true, inform him that your mother has a right to know.
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well if I were you i would confront your father and ask him what is going on because you dont want to make assupmtions and break up your parents, tell him you know he is cheting and give him another chnce if you catch him in the act again tell your mother
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You keep it a secret, your mom is going to resent you for never telling her. But she will also resent the fact that you told her but she will realize it was better to be told than to live a lie. The best thing to do is do some digging around and find hard evidence that he is cheating. He maybe looking at dirty sites or something like that which is completely normal for any man. I wouldn't say anything to your mother unless you have physical proof that he is cheating because you just accusing may backfire really badly.
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I think you need to talk to your mother about it, I mean, family are meant to look out for each other.
It's a really horrible thing to do, if you kept this from your own mother.
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**EDIT 2**
So, I don't see why you bothered wasting my time by even asking this question here.
You already had your mind made up, and only wanted people to tell you what you want to hear, and you've made that obvious.
Go on and do what you think is right.
I certainly hope you are right that your mother won't be destroyed hearing this from her kid of all people.
But you know what's best, right? I hope so, because I'm moving on to help someone who actually does want help with their problems.
Best of luck to you!
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Should you tell your mom?
No. That is not your place.
I'd say to stay out of it, except for you saw something that bothers you. If you think it would make you feel better to discuss it with him, then do so. You should realize that when you get involved in such things, you may find out more than you want to know.
31/f
**EDIT**
I still must stand in total disagreement with the other columnists.
It is NOT your place to tell your mother. It IS your FATHER'S place to tell her.
Why would you put the balance of their relationship onto your shoulders, where it DOES NOT BELONG?
As a mother, I would not want to hear something like this from one of my sons. In fact, it would hurt more and outright piss me off more.
Everyone else seems sure that you should tell her, even go so far as to say your mother would resent you, and that it's horrible if you didn't.
That is NOT true.
Just talk to your dad. It's not your responsibility to crush your mother with the truth, because that is the reality of it: The truth will crush her. That is HIS responsibility to tell her the truth.
NOT YOUR PLACE TO DO THAT.
PERIOD.
No good mother would want you to, either.
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