Question Posted Tuesday September 22 2009, 12:05 am
I really need a guy to lean on right now, short term or long term relationship would be good for me :(
But I will probably never find a guy for years because I'm 15 and pregnant, what kind of guy wants to date a girl thats having a kid?
Guys please answer. Be completely honest.
Instead of being alone you can have someone to make you feel protected and loved.
I would have to say that there is only 1 to 2 of those kinda guys in a school of a few thousand
I wouldn't search for him though, just get the baby over with first, then find a man and make sure not to produce another offspring otherwise your in for it [ CruxGuitar's advice column | Ask CruxGuitar A Question ]
sillyrob answered Wednesday September 23 2009, 3:10 am: There is no such thing as a serious relationship at 15. Well, if you're mormon and your soon to be husband is 30 and has 4 other wives maybe, but normal people don't deal with that problem. But the harsh reality is no guy at 15 will want to deal with a relationship involving a kid. I'm sorry to say it, but why would they? They're young and wanna fuck (sounds like you were too 'til you fucked that one up). You'll eventually find someone, but it's not going to be for years, like you already said. [ sillyrob's advice column | Ask sillyrob A Question ]
sweeethoney answered Tuesday September 22 2009, 7:25 pm: well im not a guy but i like girls plus im pregnant as well.
pregnant view:
honestly, its hard to find a serious relationship when youre JUST 15, not to mention bein pregnant. you have so much stress already on your life, why add a guy to that ? trust me, i know you want to run to someone, i feel the same. you have to get your priorities straight though. focus on you and your baby, not guys.
datin view:
if your 15, guys who would be mature enough to even handle a kid wouldnt go for a 15 year old (not in ALL cases, i was 15 when i concieved) . i know it hurts, but in all honesty it takes a real man to handle a baby bein born thats not over the age of 25... which hopefully you arent lookin for lol.
please just worry about you and your baby, it will benefit you in the end.
ThirdQED answered Tuesday September 22 2009, 6:49 pm: You asked for honest answer so I will be honest. If any part of my answer offend you, I am sorry. With that in mind, here goes:
A guy who would like to be in a romantic relationship with a pregnant 15-year-old girl? Most likely that's NOT going to happen. Even if you do find someone like that, he probably would just be in it for the temporary "benefits" then breakup with you at the crucial moment, or he could be just in it out of sympathy; even if someone honestly wants to be your boyfriend, his parents and friends would be against it. When you are older--about twenty-something or above--then yes, definitely someone will love to be in a romantic relationship with you despite anything. But right now, it's near impossible.
Someone (includes both guy and girl) whom you can lean on? Oh definitely! In situations like this, your closest friends would be a big help for you. You can always lean on them, can you not? (Well, providing that you have good friends.)
=======================
Another thing is that I suggest you to
1. go to a doctor and have a check for STDs . . . and, more importantly,
2. talk with your parents and doctor about aborting the baby (in other words, I am suggesting an ABORTION).
Now, please be aware that abortion will hurt you both mentally and physically--whether you are in the right condition for an abortion or not will be determine by your doctor and parents--but it would be for your own good . . . and the baby as well.
If you are twenty-something years old or above, then things would probably be easier, because you would be capable of supporting yourself; not to mention that finding a man who would love you despite that would be a lot easier too. But you are just fifteen years old--you cannot even support yourself, never mind about a child. Your body is not ready for this; your mind is not ready for this; your condition is not ready for this either. How, I ask you, are you planning to raise the child? It would be heavy burden for both you and your parents.
Adoption might be an alternative. But we must always remember that "giving birth" is merely the final part of producing a child. The process take around 40 weeks; it does not just go "BAM!," here's the baby, take him. There are a lot of factors that can and will affect the child's health--which could lead to short term or long term problems later on--during that 9 months of pregnancy; not to mention that your high-school life would be more or less destroyed, too. To be honest with you, I do NOT think keeping that baby is a good idea, unless abortion is impossible for you.
If you are a religious person or someone who thinks of abortion as murder, then please understand that religion and common morals (moral and ethics are different things, by the way) oftentimes separate good and bad as white and black; while in reality, much of everything is not really pure white or black, but they are rather "grey"--nothing is always right, just as nothing is always wrong.
Again, talk with your parents about it, talk with your doctor about it. All of this are nothing more than a suggestion from a stranger--I may not be right. Your family, your doctor, and yourself are the ones that know what truly is good for you. Please try to listen to what they have to say, even though they might be harsh at you.
---
Hope this helps,
Ng2491 :-)
P.S. Since abortion is rather a sensitive subject, if you (anyone who reads this) have anything to direct at me--ranging from flames to opinions (e.g. "ur a god damn murderer @#$%$%" to "In my opinion . . . because such and such")--please send them to my Advicenator inbox or email me at ng2491[at]sent[dot]com rather than (do NOT) post them here. Thank you! [ ThirdQED's advice column | Ask ThirdQED A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Tuesday September 22 2009, 5:37 pm: I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
You do not say if you plan on keeping your baby or giving the baby up for adoption. If your plan is to keep the baby then my suggestion is: Concentrate on finishing High School with the best grades you can achieve. You are going to need all the Scholarship money you can get to go on to college an you need a College education if you wish to support your child in a proper manner.
For some reason women find it easier to take on the care and raising of another women’s child than it is for a man to take on the responsibility of raising another mans child. Your current thoughts about finding a guy to lean on now or in the foreseeable future are correct. You will need a good education to find a good job to support you and your child.
Is there male companionship in your future? Probably, but you need to put things in the proper perspective. The first priority has to be the baby who comes into the world totally dependent on you for everything. Hopefully your parents, the baby’s father and his parents will be there for you and the baby.
If you have not already done so I would suggest you see a Lawyer and get the legal paperwork do to make sure the baby’s father stands up to his responsibilities, do not trust his word on something this important. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
christina answered Tuesday September 22 2009, 1:18 pm: To be honest, the last thing you should be dealing with while pregnant is a relationship. You need to be on your own because having a boyfriend will add on unnecessary stress.
Anth15 answered Tuesday September 22 2009, 12:52 pm: It's going to be hard. Really hard because at age 15 you wont find guys that are responsible to take care of a kid. What you really need to do is just focus more on your kid than anything at this point. I think you would be better off having the kid first and going through the first year or so before even thinking about dating because your not going to have time to do too much. [ Anth15's advice column | Ask Anth15 A Question ]
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