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Was I raped??
Ok so i'm 18 years old. And im there's something that's been bugging me for the last 4 years. I don't know and i'm confused. See, i was dating this boy and he wanted to have sex. I was a virgin so i was kinda nervous and kept talling him no. This persisted for about a month where i kept saying no and no. But eventually he convinced me that no harm would be done if i was naked. i was stupid and thought that if i gave in and just got undressed maybe he'd drop it and stop asking me for sex. Anyways, we started making out and u got uncomfortable because i felt his hand gtouching my thigh. Then his fingers went inside me. I didn't say anything because it felt good. Well then he got on top of me and said. "Let me put it in you" i got nervous and told him no no no. But he kept pushing. I started to get scared so i scratched his chest but he proceed to pin my thighs open and he just pushed himself inside me, all the while i was crying and asking him to stop. I mean i know i didn't want to have sex. But, i feel like it was my fault too. Maybe i shouldn't have been such a slut and taken my clothes off. I don't know. But now it's gotten to the point where i can't think. I feel used and dirty. And now, 4 years later, i still can't get intimate with any guy because i'm so scared to think that he won't stop when i say "no." so. i don't know. was i raped? Or was it all my own fault?
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im sorry but yes and get to know the guy b4 and if the guy keeps asking for sex then thats all he wants and you werent bein a slut he basically forced u to and i would love to help out with this but all i have to say is get to know the guy for a few months and if hes sweet and nice then after bout three months then you can do it again but it will hurt the first time in 4 yrs babe but if he keeps askin for it then jus dump him thats my advice hope you use it well
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yes you were raped. It easnt your fault. He should of took no as a answer. I understand why your afraid. LEarn self defense so if someone tries it again you'll be prepared.
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I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Yes you were raped. You did nothing wrong, no means no and when you said no and he pinned your thighs open and forced himself into you, is when it came rape. Rape is a felony for which he may still be held accountable for should you want to bring charges. Every crime has a statue of limitations by which time charges must be filed. This differs from state to state though five years is a general minimum for many crimes. The fact that you were fourteen at the time if the boy was older than you by a certain amount of years, again this varies from state to state; he could also be guilty of statutory rape as well.
Bringing charges against this young man could bring a certain amount of closure for you and help you regain a sense of normalcy in you intimate relationships. Before you make any decisions I would suggest you contact an organization called RAINN. RAINN is a National Sexual Assault Organization that can be contacted online at [Link](Mouse over link to see full location). They also operate a telephone hot line 24/7 1-800-656-HOPE. The RAINN counselors will help you find local therapists to work with you and help you move forward. You can also talk to your therapist about making a police complaint.
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Well yeah in the the sense that to be raped is to have sex forced upon you when you don't want it, I would say that you were. Was it you're own fault? absolutely not, if you put you're trust in him then he abused that trust then its his fault, he's the one that was to blame. I think by the sounds of it he lured you into a false sense of security in the way that he made it sound like there was absolutely nothing going to happen when you took your clothes off. Its his fault!!!
If you're still not convinced, think of it this way: Take a real step back and think, if it was someone else telling this story to you, would you say the girl was to blame? Don't think about what happened to you at all in anyway, if you'd never heard of such a thing happening, would you tell the female she was in the wrong. I don't think you would and I hope you wouldn't.
As for finding it hard to get intimate, well i'm sure you know, this is just becuase you've never properly dealt with the situation as i'm imagining you never confronted him about it or even, by the sounds of it, you haven't talked this over with anyone else. I think what you really need to do is just talk about it as much as possible, find a really good friend or even anyone (i'll give you an IM or email address you can contact me on if that would help) and just talk and let all you're thoughts out about it, it may be unpleasant but you need to tackle them and face what happened if you're ever even going to start to get over it.
So conclusion; no it wasn't you're fault and you need to talk about it, before anything else, to start getting over it. If you want to talk to me about it then leave you're email in response and i can email you my IM or email =)
Hope this helps
Mike!
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I'm so sorry hun, but yes, you were raped.
This was under NO circumstances, your fault. so don't ever think it was. ever. it was HIS fault, and he should be prosecuted for raping you. even though it's been 4 years. You were young and naiive, and he took advantage of that, and raped you. that's not okay. I'm so sorry that happened to you :[
and for the whole feeling insecure or scared with guys thing ... it's because he scarred you. being rape will do that to a person. you need to seek therapy and then you will proceed onto the road of healing, i promise.
I don't even know this guy, and i hate him. again, I am so sorry. but don't ever take the blame for this. it wasn't you, it was him. and it should have never happened.
if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me. good luck ! hope i helped, and it will get better in time. not all guys are scumbags. i know my boyfriend isn't. he respects me when i say "no" or if im not comfortable with something. they just have to know that it's either your pace or nothing at all. xxo.
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The fact that you took your clothes off for him is irrelevant. He would've raped you whether you had them on or off.
But yes, you were raped. This isn't your fault & you should not be blaming yourself. You said NO to him, and he kept going. That is his booboo, not yours.
The only bad thing is that if you decide you want to press charges, he probably won't get into any trouble because even though he raped you, the evidence has diminished because it's been 4 years. You can take him to court, but it's likely that the case may be lost or dropped. :(
I suggest you see a therapist though. They can help you sort this all out & will help to make you understand what's been going on. I'm really sorry this happened to you. Just remember that it's not your fault, and you're not a slut.
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You were raped. It is not your fault. A women can walk down the streets in nothing but red high heels, but if she tells a man no, it means no all the same. The second you say no and he continues, it is rape. It is not in any way your fault.
As for not being able to become intimate with other men, seeing a therapist would certainly help. You were sexually assaulted; this can warp one's views on intimacy. A therapist would be able to help you feel comfortable around guys again.
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You weren't a slut.
Yes, you were raped.
No, it's not your fault.
You were wrong to take off your clothes. It wasn't safe. Like walking down a dark alley at night. But walking down a dark alley at night doesn't mean you DESERVE to be beaten and killed. A mistake doesn't make it your fault. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Mistakes NEVER, ever mean it's your fault if someone rapes you, or shoots you, or tries to kill you. That is still entirely thier fault.
Talk it out with a therapist. There are lots of free programs and support groups for women who were raped. I doubt hearing us here say 'Yes, you were raped. It's not your fault.' is going to be able to make it all better, and change the way you've been thinking about this for years. But you can change the pattern, and it will be much easier and less painful to do that with professional help.
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