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ex hates my guts
my bf and i just had a reaaaaaaaaally rough breakup. we havent spoken in about a week 1/2, and earlier i tried to IM him, making peace, i guess. and he never responded.
i know we probably wont get back together, but i couldnt stand it if we werent at least friends. how long should i give it before i just give up? i dont want to, but i know eventually ill have to. he doesnt seem to have any interest to even talk to me. not even through a computer. what should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
give it some time. then wene you think hes cooled off im him just saying hi. ease your way into it but you have got to give him time. :) xx
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When you go through rough breakups, either both the people in the relationship or even just one person in the relationship will need SPACE. People need time to cool off and move on. If it's only been a week and a 1/2, you're gonna need to give him space for longer than that. Obviously, he wants it, because everytime you go to talk to him, you have to remember that if he WANTED to talk to you, he would. and I know that sounds harsh, and it's probably not what you want to hear, but it's the truth :[ and sometimes the truth hirts, but you shouldn't waste anymore of your time on him if he doesn't want to be friendly with you at the moment. it's best to just let it go sometimes, and in this situation you need to try your hardest to just let IT go and HIM go. Maybe in the future, like a month or a couple months from now, you guys can try to reconnect and be friends, but as of now, you should just let it be, you've done all you can and it's up to him to decide if being your friend is what he wants or not. Give it time :]
hope i helped, good luck ! if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo.
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I would keep on trying to talk to him. Be kind and say things that a friend would say to another friend. If he continues to not respond then he doesn't want to be your friend and he is being really IMMATURE about this whole thing. You tried and that is all that matters.
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You have 2 options:
1. Forget about him.
2 Give him time to get over it.
With the first, just move on. If he's treating you like crap, then he's not worth your time anymore anyways. I know that moving on from somebody is one of the hardest things to do at a young age, but sometimes it's the best.
With the second, just stay away from him for a while. Don't call him, Facebook him, or anything for a few weeks/months. Just leave him alone and give him time to get over the break up (because guys need time to get over it, too!) I did this with my last ex, and now after a few months, we're finally on good terms again.
Now, I don't know why you broke up or how bad it really is, but those are the 2 major options I think you have in this situation. Which one you choose is up to you.
-Laura (17-f)
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Hun, you 2 only just broke up and talking to you is probably going to end up hurting him right now.
Give it a few weeks, maybe months and if he wants to talk to you, he probably will.. but for now, just leave him get over you.
P.S.. when one of my relationships ended, it took months before we could speak on friendly terms.. and with another ex, we didn't speak at all and still don't. You'll just have to wait and see whether a friendship can really blossom again.
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You said: " he doesnt seem to have any interest to even talk to me"
You two are not together anymore Let it go, It's been a week and a half now and he is grieving. Obviously if he hasn't tried to contact you in that amount of time he is trying to move on. If you contact him you are only making it worse for the both of you. Being friends isn't going to solve anything, It isn't going to make him rethink of dating you again, It's just going to hurt even more and bring back memories and make things worse. You need to let it go and move on..Don't sit there and wait for something to happen there are other people out there for you too.
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I had a really bad break up with my boyfriend 3 years ago. It started out peaceful and then just got really bad. I did the same thing as you and tried to IM him and we'd talk for about 3 sentences before it turned into a screaming fight..it was a huge "F*** you!" fight everytime we'd talk. we didnt talk for six months and then after that had a short conversation that was really sarcastic and still not a normal friendship conversation and then we didn't talk again until 2 years after the break up. It took 2 years of not speaking to finally have a normal conversation. We went to different schools and never saw each other so it wasn't hard to avoid each other and I'm not saying that it'll take you two years to be able to be friends with your ex but it deffinately takes time. Nothings going to be solved in 2 weeks. You can't force a friendship with him because it will only make him push away.
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You should just give up now. He's in pain, you're the last person he wants to talk to. By contacting him, you're making it worse.
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