|
my best friend has been going out with her boyfriend for about 2 months. this is her first serious boyfriend - shes 16, and im happy for her. only thing is, she is head over heels for him, but its really obvious he doesn't like her like that. i am NOT jealous, i would never date a guy in the same species as this one, haha, but im not the only one who has noticed the apathy on his part. she sets up all the dates, she asked him out, and he doesnt even hug her when they say goodbye! theyve kissed but to me it seems like a formality on his part. -i a really intrapersonal person, i can pick up others' feelings easily, but even my other friends notice-
also, she invites him everywhere when we have girl time. like, when its just her & me, its normal, but whenever she invites a handful of friends over, all girls, he has to come, too. i dont mind once in a while but its getting rediculous. he's obviously never had a girlfriend before (not to be mean but hes really nerdy and quiet, im not prejudiced against that type of guy 'cause i like shy guys haha but quite honestly he's just... boring) and is just riding the wave.
even worse, she kinda acts different around him. i mean obv girls act dif around their boyfriends but when all her girl friends are hanging out and he happens to be around, her attitude completely changes and shes not as fun anymore.
i dont know what to do. if i brought up the whole not inviting him places things, she might get mad at me, (i wouldnt blame her). also i do not want to be the one to tell her [and i dont think i should tell her... even though if anyone should, it would be me] he doesnt like her and break her heart. should i just stay out of this? if it was me, though, i'd want her to tell me.
opinions? thanks so much.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I have had so many problems like this so I can definitely relate. I can tell you, if she is anytihng like my friends, telling her will not do any good. Sometimes you just have to let the person make their own mistakes, even if it annoys you. She probably will get mad at you if you say anything just because she might take it as "jealousy". In her eyes, this is her chance for happiness because it is the first time she has REALLY had it with anyone. When teenage girls get involved with guys, that is always all they can think about - like it or not. They even tend to ditch their best friends for their boyfriend which believe me, it sucks, but they your friend will eventually wise up and realize she made a bad choice. She will get to the point where she will realize that either there are better guys out there or she will get tired of running/chasing after someone who doesn't care. She will especially get tired of having to do all of the things that guys should be doing for girls. Until then, just be her friend and be there for her. She will realize it soon enough..
]
hello, i'm susan. yeah, i've pretty much been in this perdicument. Well, i'd tell her. gently explain to her though, don't have a attitude or anything. and definatly, make sure she is calm. and is not already in a bad mood. i wish you the best of luck!
]
2 months is a silly length of time for an accurate status of any relationship, and most young relationships are of from reacting to those sexual hormones. The concerns from her I'm sure aren't to serious.
The guy honestly sounds like a douche bag by the way if he's hanging out with the girls in girl's night out type of events, and if she acts differently then it sounds like she has become his property.
She either likes his oppression or she'll eventually act in rebellion where they should break up or he will change for the better.
Be patience, relaxed, and wait to act only when you can tell the good from the bad.
]
Honestly, I think you should stay out of it. Some guys just have very introverted personalities and for all you know this guy could be head over heals for this girl but just not show it, or may not even know how to show it. Not all guys respond to women the same way women respond to men.
Also, if this is his first relationship then why are you surprised that he never plans the dates and/or outings? Maybe he just doesn't know how yet. If your girlfriend seems happy then don't ruin it for her. There's a reason why she's keeping him around and if he ends up breaking her heart, it's another life lesson learned.
As far as the girl nights go - talk to her about that. Guys find it attractive when a girl can spend the night with her closest girlfriends and not have to be attatched to them 24/7. It shows independence and confidence. Try telling her that and how a girls night...is strictly a GIRLS night.
Good Luck!
]
Alright WOW. Hmm.. Sounds like a handfull. As Much as you may know this friend and her boyfriend. Doesn't mean much, she may like to be different occasionally with her boyfriend, it sucks to be the same person everyday in my own opinion. Also, if she's his first girlfriend, it could just be different, and he's just you know different? I'd stay out of it, and if he does hurt her be there for her then, when she really will need you. Until then don't say anything, cause it could make up the possiblity is she will notice something, get weirded out, and lose something that wasn't ment to lose. : It's always a possiblity. I know you'd want her to tell you if she felt that your boyfriend didn't seem like he liked you, but if she seems happy right now, I'd let it go. : Things happen for a reason. :x
Lemme know how it all turns out. :) Good Luck Love.
]
More Questions: |