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suicide
My girl friend recently broke up with me...... i do not want to live any more..... i want to end my life....... she was all i had... she loves me still i know she does... her mom just passed away and she said she needs to be alone....... every day i cry all day. its the only thing i think about...... im 24 and i have never been hurt this bad in my life.so i think i am going to kill my self or badyly injure my self so she will stay with me in the hospital....... i am prescribed methadone, i take 100 mgs a day..... to day i am thinking about taking 700 mgs... dont you think that wil kill me in a quiet way.. if it doesnot kill me i am screwed becausei wont have my medicine and ill be even worse off and suffer withdrawl.. like i said i am prescribed methadone, i am the farthest thing from a drug addict ..... ive been sober for 2 years and this is the first time i have had to deal with my problems with out the use of drugs.. i want to die.. another option i am considering is taking a jog at night wearing all black and just jump in front of a car... i figure more than likely this will not kill me and it will look like an accident according to every one else... i know then my girl will stay by my side.. i am also tempting driving a honda civic into a wall or tree going at least 70 miles an hour.. i want to die, but i dont want to hurt my mom,, if she was not in the picture i would have done it already... so please tell me what you think and dont say shit like o go get help....... dont kill your self... god wont accept you in the after life... thats bull shit.. god will forgive me... i just can not go on with out this girl. please reply quickly..
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Well no i have not done anything yet... we have been talking more and more... she tells me she misses me non stop.. she tells me she loves me.... but last night i waited around for her to call and she never did.... the other night we were texting each other and then i fell asleep... she called me and i did not answer... she flipped out.. no kidding she called 7x and sent to messages.. she thought i was with some one else.. well you think knowing how it feels to be ignored she wouldn't of done it to me last night.. she would not answer... i just dont get it, she says she needs family time but she is with her friends the whole time.. personnally i just think it is summer and she wants to party.. im 24 and she is 19... i love this girl so much... and ironically last night i was jogging wishing a car would just strike me, and oddly enough right in front of her street a car almost hit me... omg, it would of been so perfect... anyway i am not psycho or crazy, i just do not want to live with out her.. you all do not get it... i want to die.. i just dont want to fuck it up and end paralyzed or something... but i have not got my answer of if i took 700 mg if methadone would i die or what... i believe it would be enough to do the trick... i changed my plan of letting a car hit me.. i have changed it a little bit.. i plan to ride a bike and more or less play chicken with a car. they wont see me i have already taken off the reflectors and have picked out my out fit for the night... i have no desire to live.. i just do not want to hurt my parents... this girl is making no sense... i cant do anything i used to do.. i am so freaking sad........ godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.. i want to die
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how does she feel now about her mother dieing?
shes sad right?
now how do you think she would feel if you
killed yourself? exstreamly sad.
cause she loves you just like she loves her mother, and if you love her you wouldnt wanna hurt her.
and she only asked for a brake cause shes going through so much, so just give her that lil' brake,
if she loves you she WILL come back to you.
have faith in God, hes with you,
and everything happens for a reason.
dont kill yourself over this.
Really, you never know what God has in stores for you.
and like you said, you wouldnt wanna hurt your mother.
time heals the pain, relax and go with the flow.
keep your head up, and think positive; things WILL get better.
i hope im not too late,
good luck, i hope things get better sooon!
and please dont do anything
like killing your self.
PLEASEEE!
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You say you love this girl, and that she loves you and just needs a break. She's already going through an extremely difficult time, and killing yourself will make her life next to impossible. If nothing else, think of that. I don't have an exact percentage but the majority of people who try to overdose don't do it right- and I'm certainly not gonna tell you how- but they just end up really sick but still alive. How could you even consider hurting this girl so much just so she will "stay with you in the hospital"?! If your motivation is wanting attention there are far, far better ways to get it.
Jumping in front of a car is a horrible idea as well- do you have any idea how much that would psychologically screw up the person who hit you? I've read articles about it- it really, really messes people up. And even if it doesn't kill you, you will be in amounts of pain you can't even imagine right now.
Your only chance of ever being with this girl again is waiting. It's as simple as that. If you kill yourself that's a guarantee that you'll never be with her, ever. It sounds like she just needs to be alone for a little bit, which is perfectly understandable, although breaking up with you is a little drastic. If you really love her, you'll wait.
I would write her a letter explaining how you're feeling- not about killing yourself, but that you love her, really miss her, understand that she needs some alone time, but don't want to end the relationship.
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My dad sent this to me when I was going through a difficult break up like yourself, and it got me thinking. I hope it does the same for you.
"MAY WE ALL BE COFFEE"
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.THE BRIGHTEST FUTURE WILL ALWAYS BE BASED ON A FORGOTTEN PAST; YOU CAN NOT GO FORWARD IN LIFE UNTIL YOU LET GO OF YOUR PAST FAILURES AND HEATACHES.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
EDIT AFTER READING RESPONSE:
No one is going to answer your question about how to kill yourself. You asked us what to do in this situation, and we are telling you what we think you need to do. Do not ignore all of the advice that we are giving, because all of it is going to help. You need to stop duelling about how horrible life is without this girl when she obviously wants some time apart from you. You need to accept it. She is 19 years old, still young. She wants to experience what she can and have fun and party. You need to stop bugging her repetitively or you are going to scare her off even more. You are saying you want to kill yourself? What is that going to do? You won't be with her, awesome, but aren't you already not with her? Even though you say otherwise, I think you would rather live and be without her than die and leave everything, like your mother and your LIFE, behind. This is not a healthy thing you are doing, and as much as you say you do not want to, you need to talk to someone about it because it is something more than an advice site can help you with. To say it bluntly, you need to stop being so stubborn and stop being a baby about this whole thing and LET GO. She says she still loves you? She probably does, but she obviously does not want to be with you right now ,accept it and MOVE ON. When you are young like she is, everything is still maturing and changing. So her perspective of the relationship you two were having probably changed, while since you are older and less prone to change, you did not see it and she wanted out. Please listen to what we are saying to you. You need to STOP obsessing over her and accept that shit happens. You don't want anyone going to your funeral saying this is the man who killed himself over a girl. I'm sorry, but that is down right pathetic. You want people thinking that this is the man who could move on from challenges that he faces. It sucks that you need to hear the cold truth from a 16 year old, but you really need to take into consideration everyone else, not just you. Because you are being very selfish right now.
Act like a 24 year old, and grow up.
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hey,
First off: your young,and handsome. Don't let your pass relationship run the rest of your life and ultimately decide if you're going to end it. Your ex is going through a rough time right now. Let her heal, she needs some room, and that's okay. Killing yourself would make you selfish because there are people out there, especially your mom who loves you. you've been sober for two years...don't go back! please don't do this to yourself. you only have one life...live it!
HOPE I HELPED
***HERSHI WISHES HUGS AND KISSES***
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I was thinking the same the other night, sometimes you realise life is shit and suicide seems like the only answer, always in the back of my head I would like to be gone but I have to get on with it because of my dad, you see I know that would destroy him as I'm sure it would your mom. When you realise it's not a question of do you want to live or not, just that you have to, you get on with your life enjoy the ups and don't care about the downs, nothing can hurt you because nothing matters. And after a while you get used to it your life carrys on and having had that thought of leaving makes you that little bit stronger because you are living for the people you love and that love you, and though they will never know what you have gone through for them, you've given them an amazing gift, you have kept them away from that pain and anger and devistation. As for the girl she if she needs time give her it. the last thing she needs after lossing her mom is worrying about you, write her a letter or send a message and tell her you will be there whenever and if ever she needs you and keep your distance until she is able to decide what she thinks. i hope this helps.
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No matter how bad you're hurting right now, trying to kill or injure yourself just so that your ex will stay with you isn't a good idea. I know you're missing her, but at least she's still alive. Think about how bad she must be hurting right now. Her mom just died and there's a lot of emotions running through her head. Obviously you care a lot about her...so that needs to be the reason that you don't do this to yourself. If you do, it's just going to hurt her even more. The best thing that you can do right now is just be there for her in her time of need. Even if she doesn't want you there right now, eventually she's going to. Make sure she knows how much you care about her and that you'll be there for her when she does need it.
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