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telling my dad
Okay. Well. Yeah. =]
I'm a 17-year-old guy and I'm bisexual. It took me a while to admit to it, but I finally accepted it. =] Anyways, I've told my mom and she has no problem with it. My parents are divorced, by the way. Well, I want to tell my dad, but he is extremely homophobic. I seriously think he would yell at me. He lives in another state. I visit him in March.
Should I tell him I'm bisexual, and if I should, then how? I'd like to tell him before March because I wear eyeliner and don't want to stop wearing it when I see him.
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Tell him when you feel comfortable about it. Well you might not ever feel comfortable about it but hes your dad and he needs to except you for who you are. and no matter what he will love you if that is what you are worried about. you never no all this might turn out better than you think, so stop thinking about the worst situation possible. If he yells its just because its a shock to him. He will get over it though. trust me. i had a friend go threw this same thing.
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Wear very little eyeliner when you go, close or near to the end of your visit, tell him, but tell him in time enough to talk about it.
Cliche Time: Bi now, gay later.
I heard that from a gay friend. If you cant tell him your bi, then in the future when/if your gay, how are you gonna tell him then?
Hope that helps...
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if you dont feel ready to tell him yet.
then dont.
you need to be comfortable saying..
"dad im bisexual, i like girls and guys"
before you can actually say it to him.
go to his place in march.
visit with him.
and have a good time.
and if while you are there..
you feel you are ready to tell him..
then tell him.
if not..just wait.
until you are ready.
keep in mind that he may react negatively.
but he may not mean to react that way.
thats a big deal for a parent..
any parent.
it will be a shock to him.
and you have to let him adjust to it.
if he gets angry or upset.
let him.
its his way of showing the shock.
im sure he loves you..for you.
it just may take him awhile to get used to the idea.
dont get mad at him for reacting negatively tho.
that will only prolong the process.
just try to understand that is as hard for him to accept it as it was for you.
im sure everything will work out okay.
GOOD LUCK!
<3nichole
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I would suggest straight up telling him. How he reacts is how he will react. If he can't accept you for the way you are as his son, then you don't deserve to him as a father.
But I'm sure he will just think awkward of you because you technically aren't gay. Your bi, so you still like girls. So what would be a good idea is to hang out with him for like a guys night out or something and promise to only think about girls when your around him to help make him more comfortable. That way hell still know, but won't think much about it.
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That's tricky.
What do I think? You have the right to be who you are in this life, and he needs to either accept it or not. The tricky part being if he choses not to accept it.
But this isn't about what I think- it's about what YOU think.
I agree with Razhie that you should talk to your mom about how to handle this. You say you want to tell him- she will surely have a good opinion on how to do so.
ygs-29/f
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I doubt your eye liner will be taken as evidence of your bisexuality... he'll probably just call it a phase. Or, you know, you could stop just for the visit...
Look, coming out is truly you choice. You don't *hafta*, it's not a requirement of being bisexual. If you are comfortable with your relationship with your father without telling him, then don't tell him.
If you don't want to tell him yet... don't tell him yet.
If you need you need too be honest, then be honest. Do it over the phone, script it out if you must, but just get it over with. Of course he'll have questions, it's best if you can geuss what they are and have your answers ready.
You might also look to your mother for advice on how to talk about this. She might not have stayed with your dad, but she probably still knows who he is really well.
Good luck.
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