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Church Girl in Crisis
So for the past two months, I haven't been going to church every Sunday, like AT ALL due to a fight that my aunt and my mom had and I got sucked in their problem making my relationship with my aunt nonexistent. This morning, I said sorry to my aunt and we're OK now but the church is my problem because there's a lot of nosy people at church questioning WHY I haven't been at church. What should I say? I can't tell the truth because it's really stupid and ridiculous and I don't want them to see me as childish and an immature brat. But on another note, I don't want to lie under God so... if there is such thing as a "true lie" can you please give me advice on what I should do? Thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Learn these words.
"Its personal, and I don't want to talk about it"
Theres never a need to lie when you have the right to tell someone that you dont intend to discuss something with them.
Just tell them that its your own business and dont explain at all. If someone pushes then tell them straight up.
"I am not going to discuss this with you"
You have a right to privacy. Your family issues are not your church's business, no matter how nosy and entitled they might think they are.
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its none of their business why you werent in church. just tell them you couldnt go. if they question you any further just tell them its personal and you dont really want to talk about it. nobody can make you share information you dont want to share.
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Well, it's really nobody's business why you weren't in church. They may claim to be "concerned" about you, but the truth is, like you said... they're really just being nosy and looking for gossip. Don't feel like you have to tell them anything. If they ask why you weren't there, just say, "I couldn't make it" or "I had some other things going on" or even "It's kind of personal and I'd rather not talk about it, but thanks for being concerned." If they pressure you for more detail, just be nice and change the subject or walk away.
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you can say "i just wasn't able to come." it's really none of their business. i mean, you could say that you were "sick" or something... ("sick" of fighting with your family?) which would be a half-lie. anyway, you don't actually have to tell anybody anything other than you weren't able to come, which is true.
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there's no such thing as a true lie...tell the truth or don't answer questions. It may seem foolish...but whose opinion really matters in the end?
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Oh, the lovely church goer's. Many are elderly and retired and some have taken up gossiping on the other church members as a career. But you also must consider that they care about you and your absence and are concered. Either way, do what is comfortable. If you don't wish to disclose the information but don't want to lie, you can say something like:
It's personal, I'd rather not talk about it
It's family problems, I don't think I should talk about it
It was just a little problem, but it's been resolved now
Or you can tell them the truth and ask to respect that. It's church, remember, you won't be attacked or anything :P
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Hi there,
The answer to this is actually really simple, and I think you will appreciate it once you see it.
You don't want to offend God... and you don't want to look silly in front of people.
Now, you came here looking for a way to bend the rules of God, so you could save face in front of your fellow man.
Who's opinion of you do you value more highly? :-)
Time to own up. Yes, it is a goofy reason. No it isn't really your fault.
As for them being nosy about your time in church... that is between you and God, nobody else.
Don't be embarrassed about this incident. You ever wonder how people become isolated from family and friends for 30+ years? Stupid, piddling little incidents like this one that never get dealt with in an honest manner.
Take it from experience on this one. My family has suffered from the effects of not handling things like this.
Be honest, and Honor God more than the busy-bodies. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? :-)
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