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boyfriend or baby?
((the story)) Im pregnant oh and im also 19 years old.. i recently found out and i called the father of the baby.. he is not my boyfriend.. but he is the boy i love with all my heart. he is the love of my life. when i told him he just right away said i dont want it, that i needed to take care of it.. i got mad and just hung up the phone and sent him a text saying i would talk to him later, that i wasnt in the mood to talk... later that night we talked some more, he made it 100% clear he doesnt want it.. he told me to take a pill or get an abortion.. i said ok... but the truth is.. i dont know if i want to... i know im young, i know i have my life to live... but i want a child... i feel like i need it.. to fill the emptiness i feel inside me.. that i have felt for such a long time... but at the same time.. i know if i keep it i will loose him, which makes me not want it... i love him with all my heart, with everything i have..but i know and feel in my heart that he and i will never be what i want to be... we have been "together" ((friends with benifets/bestfriends/'inlove'/all of the above)) for 2 1/2 years now.. and he knows i love him, and he claims he loves me aswell.. but he never wants something "real"... if i keep the baby, i am like 90% sure he will have nothing to do with me because i will be going against his wishes.. that or i just dont tell him and i leave to live in the US ((i live in mexico bythe way)) to stay with my family who lives there...
((the question)) should i get an abortion and continue being in this f*ed up relationsip that goes no where with theman i love.. or should i keep the baby and risk losing him forever, yet gaining a new never ending love of a child??
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hey..let me tell you something i am 19 years old and i have a 3 month old son!! i love him more than anything in this world!!
i never thought i would have a baby this early but i did and i had to take care of my business like you should. don't worry about that guy if he don't wanna be apart of your life than screw him!
becoming a parent is hard work but its worth it i mean giving birth is the greatest thing and a very good and unexplainable feeling..put that dude on child support you didnt crawl on top of yourself and have a baby..just don't do anything your gonna regret later on in life.
*trust me* being a parent is wonderful!!
think about it before doing anything!!
and if that guy didn't want a baby he should of been more careful!!
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I haven't read anything you've wrote yet, except the title. And this is my advice: If you can take care of the baby, and love the baby, then choose THE BABY.
After reading it, your boyfried or whatever the hell you want to call him is an asshole. Your baby is innocent. That's it. That's the end of it.
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please do whats best for you, he might not be "the love fo your life" if he gives you no choice but to get an abortion. if you want to keep it you need to know that he probably will not pay child support and that that man probably wont be the guy in his life. dont let him tell you want to do. you need tot hink hard about what is going to be best for YOU.
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Well having a baby would be so much more than you having that space filled and the never ending love. If you want to consider having a child you have to think of all of the other aspects. Things that can't be settled by just getting a hobby. When you have the baby, there will be love, with double expenses to follow.
When you do decide, you have to only think about how much you can handle and understand that when it all goes down, you are the only one that can never leave and go home or hand them off and walk away. That baby is there at all times and will always be first.
I would never say don't have the baby based on any money issue because when God sends our children, he sends blessings and agels with them and somehow hard or easy, you will make it through.
It's also hard to find a boyfriend with a baby so if you really want a family, give it some time, find you a prospective boyfriend that can turn into your husband and who would never abandon you or you're child.
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I don't think you should have an abortion.
You're 19 years old, and you're young, but it doesn't matter. You and your ex or whatever the hell had sex & you guys should take responsibility for your actions & keep it. Now, if he doesn't want the baby, then that is his problem, BUT he should at least help you by pay for food or clothes or something. You need to talk to him more. You're 19 so my question for him is HOW IN THE FUCK does he EXPECT you to do this on your own? Babies are lots of work & that's why there's 2 parents.
Anyways, don't get the abortion. If you do that, you're taking away the life of a child who could become the next einstein or brain surgeon. This baby could change the world & by killing it, you're not doing anything but fucking yourself over. I realize your ex will be upset & ditch you, BUT nothing replaces the love of a child.
Also, don't flee to the US without your green card. It's not worth it to get in trouble, so if you're going to come, come legally. :] Another thing; if this guy loved you, he'd help you & stick around. He's a dick. A man who gets a girl pregnant then ditches doesn't deserve to live. And always remember:
No child is a mistake; just an expected miracle.
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First of all, DO NOT keep a child just because you want it to fill some void in your life. That is completely selfish and I don't think you realize the work that goes into having a child. Grown, married women with full-time jobs struggle to raise children because of the time it consumes.
Second, do not get rid of the child just because this guy doesn't want to have it and won't take responsibility for his actions. If he was man enough to have sex with you, he is man enough to raise a kid.
If an abortion is really something you want, then make a mature decision based on what YOU want after evaluating the effects it will have on your life. There is also the option of adoption, which will give the kid a chance at a life with a family that actually gives it the love and stability it deserves.
Lastly, ditch the guy. He sounds like a jerk. You said yourself the relationship is going no where. If he loved you as much as you love him, this kid would not end the relationship.
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This is your decision, and you have to pick whether you want the child or not; it's not your friend's decision. He made a mistake with you not using birth control/condom, and it's as much as his baby as it is yours. Remember, if you love the child, keep it. It is a human being, and breathes and lives like anyone else; it is just tiny and unborn. I have to say, for your friend to not support you with your wishes, is really messed up, and I'm sorry to say this, but he probably doesn't love you as much as you'd like him to. If you abort the baby and keep chasing after this guy, hon, he isn't going to love you any more than if you had kept the baby. If you are ready for the baby and want it, by all means, keep it. It will be tough (babies cost over $2000 dollars a year at average minimum). But if you are going to abort it, don't do it because guy who doesn't love you or the baby wants you to, but because you aren't ready. This happens everyday, hon, and it isn't going to stop. Make the decision that feels right to YOU. This guy is never going to be in love with you, and I am sorry, but I think it's best if you left him for good. Best of luck.
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