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Out of love?
Can people with REAL relationship experience please answer? People that have been in serious relationships that lasted more than a few months? Thanks.
I'm 17/f and he's 21/m. We've been together since July 5th of 2005. It's the first serious relationship each of us has had.
Everthing was going wonderfully between us until the beginning of this year. We fought over stupid things. I kept getting really angry with him because he wouldn't go get a job and all he cared about was playing his computer and video games. He IS in college though and is going for internet security, so that was a good thing. Most of the time we worked through whatever problems we might have had, though. I really got better at respecting his hobbies and such. Plus he finally has a job now. Okay.
Lately though, I just feel like I don't want to be around him because I know it will be boring or he'll just make me angry in some shape or form. I don't want to hang out with just him because I know we'll just sit around and be bored because there's nothing to do.
Whenever he calls to say goodnight or something, sometimes I don't even pick up the phone because there's nothing to talk about or I don't even want to talk to him.
The point I'm getting to is that I think I might be falling out of love with him. I don't know if maybe it's because I see him too much or what, but I see our relationship more as really best friends instead of loving boyfriend and girlfriend. I know I care about him because I would never want him out of my life.
So my question is, how do I fall back in love with him? How do I make our relationship more fun and loving? We've been together for nearly two years and I can't figure out a way to keep things as lively as they were the first few months we went out.
At this point, I'm not sure a "break" would work for us because I'm going to college in the fall. If we took a break, that would be it and I know we'd be done. So that's a last resort.
I know that deep down, some part of me needs to stay with him and keep loving him because I'm asking this question. I want to find that part of me and bring it out. I want to be just as much in love with this man as I was the first time I told him.
Any advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This has happened in many of the relationships I've been in. You feel kind of, unsure and confused. Part of you wants to stay with him and love him, but the other wants something different.
Sometimes, you fall out of love with a person and you dont have any control over that. The only thing you can do is think about it. Everything you guys have gone through, and if its truely what you want to work at then stay with him. But if your still unsure, I would let things go. You could be wasting your time with him, and letting something even better pass you by.
Listen to your heart, and talk things out with him. Tell him how you feel, he might feel the same way and you guys can go from there.
Good Luck.
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You can't make yourself love someone. You can make yourself have positive feelings bout someone but loving that someone is another thing altogether.
Let's say you have a list of things you can do to make him like you again. Doing these things will just make you both be in a good mood. You know what I mean? Doing these things sustains you for only short periods of time. After a while, it'll be back to you thinking bout your mundane relationship with him.
I feel that you are holding on because it's been so long and you're used to his company. It sounds to me that you're seeing him as a drag cos you dun even answer his good night calls. You should feel happy when he calls you and not see him as a chore to deal with.
You should spend some time thinking if you can carry on in a relationship like that. And if it would be better if you gave the both of yourselves a chance to meet new people.
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You can try to spice things up, maybe do sweet things for him, and he will probably do them back if he loves you as much as it sounds like he does. My boyfriend and I have had problems in the past, but we've always worked through them, forgave each other, and stayed together, and actually the problems we've had have made us stronger as a couple.
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I'm 18..my bf is too..and we have been together for over a year. We have had our times where we fight a lot..but no matteer what we always make up..and most of the time things are fgood..so its totally worth it. Of course things arent like they are during the first feew months..and that is totally normal...but its times where my bf would smile at me and kiss me out of nowhere that really sweeps me off my feet. You need soem romance to spice things up. Make him a candlelit dinner...make him a card for no reason..take him outside and gaze up at the stars together..or go somewhere/do something that you two did in the beginning of the relationship that swept you off your feet.
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I'm 19 and my boyfriend is nearly 21... and he sounds a lot like yours! We've been living together for a few months now, and that's quite the uphill battle.
There's no problem with being best friends with your partner. You SHOULD be best friends with them. It sounds to me like the romance is gone, which is a problem that my boyfriend and I had recently.
Try doing little romantic gestures. A love letter, maybe? If he sees how nice it is, he'll probably reciprocate.
If that doesn't work, talk to him about it. That worked for me. My boyfriend came home with a card and a balloon last night apologizing for having ignored me :)
I agree with you that a break is a bad idea. Stick with it, because this is a hurdle that everyone in a serious relationship encounters.
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i have no doubt in my mind that youu love your boyfriend. but that fact that theres no fun or interest anymore kiinda kills it. hes your first love, your first serious relationship but he doesnt have to be your last. your 17.. youu need to give yourself time before you decide you want to settle down and be unahppy for 2 more years watching him play his games. and hey your going to college. who says you wont find a cute guy you like more and have more in common with in your math classs? do some soul searching. but just remember you ARE STILL ONLY 17. your life jyst began. dont forget that. =]
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you dont have to listen to me because im only thirteen and i dont have a lot of experience.
i have had a boyfriend for the past year though. if that helps.
anyways, i think anybody who can consideer the situation objectively can help.
think about what you used to talk about. was it more getting to know eachother? if it was, then maybe the apeal of the relationship was getting to know a new person. if it is, then try to get to know a new part about him. ask him for his opinion on a world crisis or philisophy.
if you used to talk about him in college, maybe you just liked that he was older and had more experiences? if this is true then you can talk to him about his first year of college and ask for his advice.
if you used to flirt like crazy, then maybe you should go back to the old flirting teasing.
some things dont last foreever. your young. you have the rest of your life ahead of you. if you and himdo break up, you will have plenty of time to meet new people.
and you can always stay friends with him..
good luck!!!!!
everything will work out for the best.
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To me it sounds like the only reason you're still with him is that he's your first serious relationship and you've been together so far. Those are both bad reasons to stay with someone. Move on. You will be in love with someone else, and eventually you'll find someone who keeps you in love with him, instead of you working to keep yourself in love.
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