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Am I overly upset???
I am divorced. We have 3 kids together ages 10,9,7... my son is the 7 year old. He comes home upset from visiting his father every time.He has been living with this boy who is 6 for a year, His mother has 5 kids by 4 different fathers and 2 are serving life in prison. one is (the boys) father. He is going to marry the boys mom in july and adopt him. This would be fine if he was a fit father but he is not.She is also a convicted felon.who only has custody of 1 of her 5 children. I am a suburban mom who makes a pretty good living, and gives my kids a good life, by the way he has also been convicted of domestic violence on our daughter. Should I keep my kids out of their home?? Its becomeing ever so bizarre.My son comes home cryin g because this new kid call his dad daddy, he feels like he has been replaced. His girlfriend told my son something about a month ago that set me off, they were spending the weekend with dad and girlfriend and my son asked when he was gonna see mommy and the crazy girl told him "mommy is dead i killed her", my girls said this was said..she has threatened to kill me through relatives, she is not all there. What do I do?By the way my ex and this woman were having affairs throughout our ten year marriage. This is not a stable environment for my kids, I am in a great relationship now and I might want to fight for sole custody and move away..Any advice??
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Firstly, try and talk things out with him. Dont be aggresive and dont be defensive either. Tell daddy the facts. What you think is wrong and how things could get better if he changed a little bit and did not allow certain things to happen. You dont have to give him many chances. You cant be talking about it for ever. If it doesn t work out the first time go for it. Ask for sole custody.
Best wishes.
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your not overly upset!! do not let any of those people near your children!!! if your ex is dating somone who threatens to kill you, you need to stay far awya from both of them! fight for sole costody. they should be 100% YOUR children and he should have no part of them. let him go be with his convicted family!!! you should stay far away from these people, they sound crazy. and he sounds like a really bug jerk. i dont like him at all. you sound like a great mother and your son is lucky to have you watching over him! tell him not to listen to his daddy, or his daddys crazy girlfriend. your daughters need to be told to watch out for this crazy girlfriend, because she could hurt your girls. i wish you the best of luck!
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I think that you should try your best to keep these kids away from this dad and new step mom. They sound horrible but then agin if your kids want to see their dad you can't stop them. Maybe you can arrange for him to carry them in the movies or mall alone without this lady or the son. That's the best advise I can give you. Otherwise if your kids don't want to go maybe you can ask him if he'll come once a week at your house and spend 1-2 hours with them.
Good luckk!
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if everything is really that crazy then i say dont give him visitation rights
or if you need to then go to court and get supervised visits
this isnt a stable thing for your kids; especially since they are still dealing with your divorce.
sole custody and moving away might be the best interest for the kids.
you should sit them down and ask THEM about it.
privatly.
i am only 15 and my parent are recently divorced and they fact that they talked to me and my siblings about it made a BIG difference.
Good luck and ask back if you need any help
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I would choose no visitation then. Really, I would.
He has domestic violence on his record so you should have no problem at all retaining full custody.
If the kids were happy visiting it might be OK, but if they are not then why put them through it. That bunch just sounds like trouble to me. Fight for full custody and get on with your life. :)
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i think sole custody would be a good thing to have. I am sure the kids will miss their father cause most children do but you need to do what is right for the kids. I come from a divorced family as well and i see my father and his new family and i feel like im replaced but i have my mom who is better than my father will ever be. I think you should pray about it and see what God tells you my advice do whaat you think is right for your family.
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What a horrible position you find yourself in. I can only advise you that in your position I would certainly go for full custody because your children need you to protect them. They are your first priority and if they are being subjected to this kind of mental torture it will affect them. As for physical violence against a child - well I can't print what I think but you have to do everything to protect your daughter. As suggested in the previous answer, I totally agree with moving house and getting a restraining order out against your ex and his girlfriend. Your children need you and any threats against your life should be taken very seriously. Keep a diary of events and report everything to the police so that they can keep a track of any escalating violence. Your children will ask questions and your answers need to be child-friendly - ie: Mummy and Daddy don't love each other any more and we have to move away from Daddy for business/love whatever reason you can think of. Children are quite happy with half answers until they are older and once they reach a level of understanding will fully support why you wouldn't let them have contact. As for being in a new relationship, what child doesn't like to see their mum happy. If your new partner can bring up your children in a safe, loving environment then go for it. I wish you all the very best and hope that everything works out ok for you.
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WOW! This is not a good lifestyle you or for any of those children. If I were you I would fight for sole custody and NEVER EVER let the children see their fathers or anybody related to them. I know that the children are going to grow up sad but just tell them "everything happens for a reason."
As for moving...GREAT IDEA. I think it is a great idea because those people who threatened to kill you may become mad at you and may do as they said. If I were you, I would get a nice home VERY FAR AWAY and change my first and last name.
You also should put the people that threatened you on restraining order. That way, if they come even one foot close to you, you can send them to jail for life.
In order to find evidence ALWAYS carry a recorder with you. [maybe put it in your bra or such] and record all the things that go on. You can also get a video camera to record their lifestyle.
Your children may grow up a little depressed because they don't have a father, but just tell them "why would i want a husband when i got you?" And try not to tell them about the other side of the family. If your children say "is it our fault you and daddy aren't together" you should always say no because I know for a fact that if you say yes, it always leads to suicide for the children.
[I may not know much because i'm only 14 but please just think what is best for the children]
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