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virginity
I'm a virgin (15), and my boyfriend is not(17). he doesn't care that I am, or anything like that, he has a girlfriend for a long time and she's only the other person he's had sex with.... Well I'm really scared to do it, and it's not liek he's pressuring me or anything, I just want to know, what his reaction will be like. because I'm really afraid, and do guys usually have patience with girls during their first? and how bad does it actually hurt?
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well ima tell you the truth. itdidnt hurt as bad as i thought it would. it only hurts 4 bout 10 seconds, then its ok. i told my 1st to gooo very slow, and he did. then there waz one time where i said go slow and he jabbed it in there, it still didnt hurt that bad, quick pain. then it feels okay. haha. its not that bad. but you know im not telling you to do it or wateva, just do it when the time is right,.,
abby aka Az
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Alright, well it is perfectly normal to be nervous and uncertain. But if he isn't patient enough to respect your wishes and feelings then he isn't worth waiting around for. You want someone who will accept anything because he cares about you, not because he is rushing to 'get laid'. If you want to take time, just tell him how it is and if he appreciates your honesty then you have found yourself a keeper!
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When it comes to sex it's all about what you feel comfortable and ready for and with. If you are afriad of sex it means you are not ready yet and that's perfectly normal.
Don't make the mistake of having sex to please him or any other guy you are with. you're in control and right now your instincts are telling you the right thing here that you aren't ready. Most guys are fine with a girl who is not ready yet as their relationship is based on more than sex.
If he's not okay with it or tries to get his way ditch him. There will be many more boys entering and exiting your life. you want to be sure you lose your virginity to the person worthy of sharing that moment with you.
Most guys are considerate with girls during their first experience and will even talk them through everything to ease tension. There are some who are not considerate and think only of themselves and not the girl. Hopefully, the person you decide to have sex with for the first time is compassionate and considerate enough to care about those things.
Does it hurt? That question is hard to answer. Each person has a different perspective on what pain means and a different level of pain tolerance. Usually what occurs is mild discomfort from the friction of thrusting during intercourse. Be sure you are well lubricated and you should be okay.
The other thing that may hurt a bit is if your hymen has never been stretched through tampon use, masturbation etc. The best thing for you right now is to read books and research more about sex until you become comfortable with it and your questions are answered.
It's the only way to erase your fears and feel confident about it for the future. Once you learn more about it you'll be armed with all the information to make the right decisions about sex when the time comes to have it. The right time just isn't now.
If you think your current boyfriend will be "the one" in the future you might want to tell him you just aren't ready for sex now but want to research it with him and get both your concerns out in the open and talk about your fears.
If you cannot talk about it or confront questions and fears about it alone or together you won't be ready to do it either now or in the future. You have to communicate with your potential sex partner and go over these things before you ever decide to have sex. It keeps you safe, happy and healthy.
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you can do what you want but i got this from one of those books 'love, dating and sex' "once you lose ur virginity, you are like a product, slightly soiled, reduced in price. you CAN have secondary virginity," but i dont think that helps much. now my advice: usually when people have sex before marriage and then break up, it hurts the heart soooo bad, and then when you actually find the right person you wanna marry, you'd be wishing that you would have waited for them. Wait until youre not scared, but ask if he'd still love you 'in the morning' or 'after' haha. im not trying to make you feel ashamed, dont be, cause many many many many...MANY people aren't virgins. but virginity is precious. It's something you can get back....but only the slightly used version (secondary virginity) secondary virginity is when you make something like a promise to yourself that you wont have sex again until you're married. you wont be a virgin physically, but you will be emotionally and mentally. this is really YOUR decision, not his. but whatever you do, make sure its what you want, and if you do it, then he has to realize to be tender and understanding (and actually perform the tenderness and understanding) and ask yourself if you think he is the type to change after having sex with you, like if he starts acting mean or calling you a whore...but if u think that he is the one...he shouldnt even think about saying it....I'm sorry i had to put reality out, but its life, and i hope i did your questions well.
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It is nervous to be nervous about having sex for the first time. But if you are scared about it then you should wait. When you are completely ready you should forget about being nervous and scared and only be excited and happy. He should be patient and go slow with you if he knows it is your first time. If he loves and cares about you he won't want your first time to be a bad experience. And if he doesn't care then you probably should not be having sex with him. As for pain, it really depends on the person. Some girls say it hurts a lot the first time, however when I lost my virginity it didn't hurt at all. Just make sure that it is not a decison that you will regret, and that he is the one.
Kate
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well its different for couple.
because if hes really big in the pants.
it will hurt more than it would if you had your first time with a guy that wasnt so big.
the first time i had sex.
it hurt.
but not too bad.
the next time i had sex was over a year after i lost my virginity and guess what..
it hurt all over again.
prolly because i hadnt had sex in a long time.
but ill be honest..
it hurt me the first few times.
just depends on you. and the guy.
BUT.
after the first few times.
sex is great.
DO NOT RUSH SEX!!!
i lost my virginity at 16. and i wish i had waited longer to lose it.
seriously..your virginity is something you cant get back.
once you lose it..
its gone.
there is no getting it back.
make sure you really think about it..
also..
the guy i lost my virginity to was really understanding..
and he was 19..just out of a 2year relationship..and they had sex all the time...
he was understanding and patient with me..
i know..a GUY..PATIENT..
its a miracle i think.
LOL.
and if yer boyfriend isnt patient.
and understanding..
then maybe he isnt the one you want to lose it to.
good luck hunnie.
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So he shouldn't be pressuring you into anything.
It all depends on how much the guy likes/loves you if he is willing to wait. I was with my boyfriend 8 months before we had sex and it was my first time and wasn't his. Because your boyfriend has already had sex and depending on how often he had it, he might not be willing to wait as long as you expect him to. But that doesn't mean if he makes you feel bad about it you have to do it. You can say no!
For some girls it hurts pretty bad, they bleed alot but for others like me, it hurt but I didn't really bleed. It's not like an excruciating pain or anything, once you get past the first few minutes it acutally starts to feel good.
Just remember that it being your first time you need to have lots of fore play before he enters you. This will get you relaxed and you will feel more aroused. Don't rush into sex!
Don't have sex with him until YOU are ready! Alot of girls, even guys think that their first time isn't a big deal. I didn't think it was either but I always think about my first time with my boyfriend!
Hope I helped! :)
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Dont be scared, if you are then consider whether your ready or not :)
It does hurt yes but not much, once it has ''popped your cherry'' then its all fun from there, he will know too be patient with you, tell him you want too take it slow..
You will be fine :) <3LittleMooCow
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