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My family is a homophobe..like woah
This is really really iffy. My family obviously thinks that: homosexuals are a disgrace and they're ruining the world and that they should die before they spread their "diseas" to other people and I know that's complete bs. I'm in 9th grade and my friends who I'm going to talk about are in 9th and 10th grade. I'm bi and I have about 10 bi friends and 3 gay friends. I can't tell my family the truth about all my friends because they'll say "You are not to associate with them in any way shape or form..stay away from them" etc and I won't be able to hang out with them anymore. My best friend who is gay and I are really close along with my other gay friend. I can't go over to their houses at all alon ebecause my mom thinks they'll stone me and rape me. And I can't say that they're gay and so either way I can't hang out with my gay guy friends. I like this girl at school and I want to ask her out but that's complicated because I have some friends at school that know and will tell my sister if they found out about my orientation. So I really don't know what to do. I can't talk about it with my family because they'll just get mad at me and yell at me for being a heretic from the family...and I'm just frustrated with this situation because I'm so tied down...what do I do?!?!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
well it depends on your age what you should do, and im not being agist, just theres different ways around it.
If you're young enough to be too young for your parents to kick you out of the house, tell them you're bi. Ok at first they might stop your allowence or ground you or something but they've got to come round to it eventually, and when they've got used to it you can tell them about your friends and it wont be such a shock.
If you're old enough to be kicked out of the house but really dont want to be, dont tell them just yet, wait till you dont need to depend on them because otherwise its just going to be harder. I know thats just keeping information and not being true to yourself or whatever, butttt its really not in your interests to tell them
If you're old enough to support yourself, then go for it, theres nothing they can do.
Hope its all good hun xxxxx
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The simple brutal truth of the universe is this: Your family is not going to change.
They will always think homosexuality is wrong. You can yell, you can scream, you can fight them and argue logically with them, you can take them to counseling and hand the pamphlets and try everything under the sun to convince them otherwise and they will probably never budge an inch.
Make your peace with that fact now, and you will save yourself a lot on angst.
I know most people say “Your parents will love you anyways” or “They will get used to idea.” and maybe your family will. But realistically, a lot of families don’t. When I start hearing things like ‘they should all die before they spread their diseases’ I don’t hold out much hope for reluctant acceptance. If your family has declared war on homosexuality the best thing you can do is refuse to fight.
The good news is as you get older and more independent, it gets easier to deal with your family. Your sexuality is not something to fight over. It’s a fact as benign as your hair colour. Don’t let it become something to war over.
You don’t need discuss your sexuality with them if you don’t want to. You absolutely DO NOT have to discuss the sexuality of your friends. That is plainly none of their business.
Yes, you are tied down by their intolerance. Living under their roof might mean not dating the same sex until you move out, or at least until you get older and they have less say in what you do and where you go. At best, you may be able to strike up a happy relationship with someone who understands the boundaries you are faced with by your family. But at fourteen, you are probably stuck either sitting back and waiting, keeping it on the down low or getting labeled the enemy in their pointless war.
It’s not about hiding though; it’s about refusing to fight a battle you can’t possibly win.
Have strength dear. This too can be endured. Don’t let the present destroy you. Keep an eye to the future and a tidy escape.
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Do what you want and get your family counseling.
I am straight, for sure, but I have a lot of b i and gay friends, and they are just reguar people.
Homophobia is the disease, not homosexuality. It's the same as being racist.
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listen to your heart
CONSIDER IT
♥ Flaggal
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if you want to stay the night at that guys house just say you're going to stay the night at your friend who is a girl's house.
like " I'm going to stay the night at stacy's"
but really you'll be at his house!!! hahaha.
My family is the same way and some of my friends are gay but they don't care if I hang out with them just as long as I don't bring them around my house but i don't know how bad your family is so if you think they will say that then I guess they are just going to have to deal with it.
its really hard to come out of the closet to your parents but you'll find a way when your ready because you have to be ready for something like that you can't just force it onto yourself.
and if they love you then i'm sure they might be mad about it for a couple of days soon enough they will get over it and accept the fact you are like that.
they might be uncomfortable for awhile though but it will all come together
hope i helped :]
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I understand your situation, but i dont think you should hide yourself from your family. They are just goin to have to deal with it. Yea they will get mad at first, but if you keep hiding it whats that gonin to solve? Point out that straight people spread disease too.
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My advice is to follow your heart. With time your parents will get used to the idea and have no choice but suck it up. It's the truth, there's nothing wrong with being bi, its how you want to live your life it shouldnt be up to anyone else.
Hope I Helped:]
Keep Me Posted and I'm Here With Any Further Questions Of Yours!:]
Sara<3
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