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my first time to the gynecologist
My mom wants me to visit a gynecologist...but I'm scared...(and I'm only 14!)..
Will my doctor tell my mom that I'm not a virgin??
...I dont want my mom to know yet... because I am too young for it...and she won't trust me!!
Does my mom have to be in the room with me??
And since she wants me to go does this mean she thinks I'm sexually active?(even though I am)
I'm scared...HELP!! thanks.
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This is a toughie. By law, it's up to you whether or not you want your mom in the room while you're examined. Also by law, even as a minor, your health is confidential. Anything non life-threatening that you ask to be kept between you and your doctor will be.
Chances are, you've changed since you've become sexually active. Your behavior and mood are most likely different, and your mom may have picked up on it. The only way she'll find out is if you tell her. She's going to know eventually, so pick a time when you're having a good time together, and bring it up carefully.
Good luck, and if you need any other help, you can email me at madalyn987@yahoo.com.
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you can call the doctor before your appointment and tell them you want it to be private and when you go they will politely keep your mom out of the exam room. The doctor will not divulge what you say to your mom without your permission so be honest with the doctor so that you get the right exam and advice.
i know you are afraid of telling your mom you're sexually active but she needs to find out sometime and you can use the doctor to help tell her if you are afraid of confronting her alone.
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no, your mother does not have to be in the room with you. You can ask her if she can wait in the waiting room, and if she insists, just tell the gynecologist and they will help you. As far as telling your mother, there is a doctor/patient confidentiality, so no, they can't legally tell your mother, especially if you tell them not to. Who knows what goes through parents minds, but just make sure that you are careful. Also, if you don't feel comfortable talking about it with your mother, you probably aren't ready. I think that you should probably wait before having sex again, especially since you seem to think you're too young for it, which, in my opinion, i think you are, but thats just me. IF you believe you are, then by all means, go for it, your life is filled with decisions and this is one, but i think you need to really evaluate why you are doing it and if you're really ready. But, you still don't have to tell her, just talk to the doctor about it and everything should work out.
Hope I helped! Good luck!
<3 Elle
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it doesnt necessarily mean thats she thinks you are sexually active, although that could be the reason. its recommended for girls to start seeing a gynecologist for medical purposes once theyre about 13 anyways. an no, she does not have to be in there when you get checked. actually- i dont even think they let the parent stay in there, for privacy purposes, unless it is requested. and no, they will not tell yuor mom that you are sexually active, alot of the time, they wouldnt even be able to prove it if they wanted to. the only thing that would make them think you were sexually active would be that your hymen is broken, but that can happen from a number of things, not only from sex. althoguh they will ask you when you get in the office if you are sexually active, and the best thing to do is be honest with them,no matter how embarassing things might be, because they are there to help you, not make your life miserable. it will be nervewracking- but youll survive- i promise- all women do. good luck!
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One of the important things about doctors and gynecologists and doctors is confidentiality. They have an OBLIGATION to keep your information private. So, technically they are not supposed to tell your Mother what is going on with you..unless it is something life and death or very important. But, a lot of girls have sex and go to the gynecologist so dont worry - youre not the first. You dont have to have your Mom in the room. Tell her you dont feel comfortable and you want to learn to be independent when it comes to YOUR health examinations. You probably should be honest with your gynecologist..they will want to know if youre sexually active. They can give you birth control, test you for things, etc. Its really important. And its easier if they ASK you if youre sexually active to say, "Yes, but I was wondering if we could keep it private." Dont worry, good luck!
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the doctor has no way of knowing if youve had sex. depending on wether or not you still have your hymen, he can get a reasonable idea. but you can be a virgin and not have it, or (slightly less liekly) not be a virgin and have it. either way, the doctor is not allowed to tell your mother unless you tell them they can.
and she probably just wants you to go to make sure you are healthy
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theres no way to tell if your a virgin or not unless you tell the doctor. and the doctor is not supposed to tell the parents anything unless you give them permission. and no your mom isnt allowed in the room with you.. or at least mine wasnt. so really theres nothing to be scared of but my best advice is to be HONEST. becuz it helps the doctor a lot more. good luck <3
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The docter will not talk to your Mom, especially if you ask her not too. You can ask your Mother to leave the room, or suggest to the docter prior to the visit that you would rather be alone, and then the pressure is not on you, like you are trying to hide something. I hope that this helps. Keep me posted.
Jenn
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