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can't make up my mind
I'm 14/f and I know that I should probably forget about it until later or something but this has been lingering on my mind for a while and it's bothering me.
Well, first I believed in staying a virgin till marriage thing and I still do but it's that when I think about that, that would mean having had sex with only one partner and that bothers me, you know? I wanna experiment with other people than just one person. I don't know. Right now all I can think about when I see a guy that I like is: hmmm, I wanna have sex with him. And I haven't even had my first kiss yet. >.<
Haha, anywhos is this weird of me and what do you think on my thoughts on whether to stya a virgin or not.
And please don't tell me the "folloy my heart" or "you'll know when you're ready" thing. i just wan't a really honest opinion b/c right now, I really wanna just have sex with all my crushes
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I would say its pretty normal for you to feel this way. Its called lust. And sex isnt like it is shown on tv, is nots all hot and passionate and sweaty. I am a virgin so you are probably thinking how in the heck would you know?! I;ve taken so many sex ed classes, and health classes, I go to a private school, and I suppose maybe that is why. But thats not the point. What teens forget is that, sex is awkward, you have to be "naked" with someone else. Exposing all your flaws, and insecurities to someone. I'm pretty sure you want that to be with someone you trust, and with someone who loves you for that. Not someone who only wants your body, or because you want their body. I mean this person could be a complete hottie, but their personality could suck. You could go and have sex with someone you think is so hot, but then you will be emotionally attatched. For the rest of your life. You wont ever forget the first person you slept with. I have friends who had made the mistake of having sex, young, and regretting it. They regret it because they cant take it back, and they broke up with that boyfriend of the month. In highschool and middle school, sex isnt right then. Everyone just wants to experience things, but they are also too niave to see that, any relationship they are going to be in during their middle school - highschool years, its not permananent, and its not likely they will ever get married. And that is because people change.
I think you should stay a virgin, you will be glad you did when meet the right person. I seriously mean that,and I know you said you didnt want to hear it like that. But its true, you are kinda too young to maybe understand the true purity of meeting the person you will love forever (i am too, i'm still grasping the concept) but just remember you wont regret waiting.
<3
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So your stuck between wanting to stay a virgin til your married and wanting to have sex with your crushes? Maybe the reason you want to have sex with all the guys you have a crush on is just your hormones, because if you actually are in the situation you might different, like you might feel nervous and dont feel right about doing it before your married. And if you strongly believe in not having sex till your married, then dont. But if you think its werid to stick wtih only one partner.. then you shouldnt wait till your married if you dont want to. To me it sounds like you want to do it more then waiting. And as much as you dont want someone to tell you to follow yuor heart, you just have to find out what you really want. But before you have sex you should go over all the consequinces and everything you get yourself into and what you think is right or truely want. Best of luck, hope this helped =)
Katie ♥
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well i lost my virginaty when i was 14 but i thoughht i was in love.so i cant tell you that you should wait but you cant go out and have sex with every guy you like because you should keep a good name for yourself. Sex isnt great unless you have true feelings for that person. thats way they call it MAKING LOVE. and if you have sex with a guy that sure as hell wont make them like you more or love you . some guys will leave you afterwords. You can do what you want because i know i did but do me a favor and not have sex with alot of guys.
Yeah its normal for you to think about sex alot i mean come on your 14 your hormones are boy crazy right now.
well i hope i helped in anyway that you wanted && if there is anything else you wanna know, let me know because im here for you to talk to about stuff like this.
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First off, it's not weird. I used to say I wanted to have sex with all kinds of guys when I was younger, and I as well hadn't even had my first kiss at that time.
I know what you mean about the experimentation thing. It's understandable. My current boyfriend was my first everything. Kiss, mutual, oral, and sex. Lucky for him, he has had experiences with girls in the past, so he doesn't have to deal with the thought of only being with one. He was a virgin as well when we met, but at least he got the opportunity to be with others. I don't regret having him as my first, but I do think about how I may never do anything with another guy ever again. (We're talking about engagement) But it doesn't bother me. It's a wonderful thing that he's the only one. You may not realize it now, but waiting until you find someone that you love may change your feeling for 'sex until marriage'. You know?
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hunny, i'm going through the SAME EXACT THING! until this year, (i'm 14/f too) i always thought i was going to save myself till marrige, but then i realized, i would not be able to stand not having sex, i'm a really horny person, so whenever i think about saving myself, my thoughts go straight to having sex. I definetly know i won't be able to hang out that long without having sex.
personally, i will most likely experience sex before marrige (safe sex) and if your curious and don't want your husband to be your first, then go for it, but you should wait till you're sixteen, and YES wait till your ready, and feel comftorable.
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your a teenager,ALL teenagers go through the stage your at where your hormones are raging and you pretty much want on every guy that walks by you.I used to think waiting for marriage was the best thing to do too,but my opinions changed and i think thats a little drastic to me maybe its because i couldnt wait for marriage to have sex lol but anyways,i think if both persons are in love and care about one another very deeply and your not married then i say sure go for it..just as long as you know the concequences (sp) of having sex too like pregnacy and stds.I dont think you should lose your virginity anytime soon your very young to be having sex.I would say your ready when your old enough to actually take care of a child.So i think between 17 and up is when you can start thinking about having sex.You have to be physically and mentally ready to have sex.I hate seeing girls my age pregnant and only have sex because its "fun" and they just do it because there way too horny.But basicallyt youll know when you want to have sex and who with,just dont do it with someone your not completely in love with and arent sure about..and dont let any guy pressure you into having sex if you dont want too.I hope i could help!
♥ danielle
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Well, you're a teenager, and this is something alot of teenagers get urges to do and really want to do is to have sex. I used to have a really strong urge to myself, just be like,"Do it do it do it", you know? And I myself haven't even had my first kiss, but then I realized,"I want it to be with someone I really care for and know I love and just know that special part of me isn't going to be wasted." And soon, the urges went away, and I still haven't had sex yet, and I'm happy I haven't.
Me, personally, I don't think you should have to wait until marriage unless you're really capable of handling that and it's something you really believe in, which it seems you don't anymore.
I would just at least wait until you really care and love someone, at least for your first time. The first is the one ( I know it's going to sound corny ) but the one you're going to remember for the rest of your life, and if you and your friends are talking about it, you want it to be known as romantic and loving, right? Not like,"Uh, I don't remember his name, but he was hot." Or something like that.
So if you really want my honest opinion, I say wait the first time until you're really sure you love the guy and he loves you and make it special.
I hope I helped.
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